When Freddie first awoke he was only aware of how badly his head hurt and how atrociously dry his mouth was. As he woke his memories started flooding back: the solid, crushing weight of hopelessness, the sharp slice of the razors, the cold feeling that settled in as the water grew darker and darker. He had a foggy memory of warm, smooth skin against his side but he didn't know who's or why. He opened his eyes tentatively wincing as the fluorescent light sliced through his eyes into his brain like a knife. His stomach roiled at the sensation and he fought to keep from gagging. He opened his eyes again and it still hurt but not nearly as badly. Looking around the room he expected to see his mother sitting nearby staring at him with her too wide, too intense eyes. Instead he gasped as he recognized the all too familiar head of shaggy black hair resting against the back of the chair. He stared a Spencer for a long time amazed out how the goofy man still looked so handsome even asleep. After a while the tall man woke and stretched his gangly limbs.

"Hey, Fredo, you're awake." He said softly but happily as his eyes fell on the boy.

"Where's Mom?" Freddie asked hoarsely. He knew he'd have to deal with the spasmodic fall out eventually, he just wanted to know how long he had..

"She's down the hall in another room. The doctor had to sedate her after she took a swing at him." Spencer said waggling his eyebrows and pursing hi s lips. It was just then that Freddie realized that Spencer was wearing a pair of dark blue hospital scrubs instead of his normal t-shirt and jeans.

"What happened to your clothes?" He asked extremely relieved when Spencer handed his a small cup of water. The cup felt like it weighted a ton but he managed to lift it to his lips with Spencer's help and took a couple of sips.

"You bled all over my pants and I had to use my shirt to keep what little blood you had left inside you." Spencer said sitting back down into the big chair.

"Oh, you found me?"

"No, I got there after Sam kicked down door and tried to drag you out of the tub."

"Oh god, I can't believe you all saw me naked." Freddie moaned closing his eyes tightly as if he could make the memories go away by shear force of will.

"I think that's the least of it, why'd you do it, Freddie?" Spencer asked cocking his head to the side.

"Have you talked to Carly?"

"Yeah but she won't say anything. Not even after Marissa threatened her with pepper spray." Spencer said smiling tiredly.

"I'm gay, Spence." Freddie said his eyes still closed. It was easier to imagine what expressions flitted across the older man's face than actually have to watch them.

"So, that's no reason to scare us all like that." Spencer said as if Freddie had just told him he liked chocolate.

"I think I'm in love with you too." Spencer threw his head back and started laughing loudly. "What's o funny?" Freddie asked eventually. He wasn't sure what he had expected, well actually he knew what he'd hoped for, but it wasn't for Spencer to start laughing. It kind of hurt his feelings.

"I'm so not worth it, Fredo." Spencer said after he had managed to stop laughing.

"Why not?" Freddie asked genuinely curious. He had heard Carly's reasons for thing not working out, he wondered if Spencer's were any different.

"I'm way too old, I'm half crazy, and I can't stay in a relationship longer than a week need I go on?" Spencer asked rolling his head to look at the teenager.

"I already knew all of that, it doesn't really matter anyway. You're not the reason I did it, one of them."

"What are the others?"

"I just wanted to be normal and obviously that's never going to happen. If it wasn't bad enough that I was a geek and Sam the amazing Amazon's punching bag I have to turn out to be gay and in love with a guy almost twice my age? It was all just too much and I didn't want to deal with it anymore." Freddie said turning his face to the wall as fresh tears burned in his eyes.

"I don't know what to say, Freddie. Nothing can happen between us. You're cute, don't get me wrong, if you were a little bit older than things might be different. I do love you, but I love you the same way I love Carly, you're like my little brother that lives down the hall." Spencer said reaching out to touch Freddie's IV punctured hand. "I can't speak for Sam, but I think she'll lay off from now on...you know after she beats the crap out of you for trying to kill yourself. You really scared them."

"I know. I feel so stupid," Freddie whimpered fresh tears leaking out of his eyes. "And I don't know what this is all about." He said gesturing towards his face. "I don't think I've cried this much since I was in diapers."

"Being a teenager is hard, dude. Now I need to go tell the doctors you're awake and call the girls. I'll be back soon, okay?" Freddie nodded as the lanky man loped out the door. Freddie was starting to feel better, his head still hurt more than anything he'd ever felt is his life and his mouth was still a desert despite the water he'd drank, but things didn't seem so bad. He'd told Spencer the truth and he didn't freak out, he didn't feel the same way either but Freddie had never really expected any reciprocation. He still had to face his mom, Carly, and Sam and he knew that wouldn't be easy but thing just didn't seem as bad. It wasn't long before the doctor came back in, he checked Freddie over and called in a nurse to add a pain reliever to the iv drip for his headache. He also scheduled a session with the hospitals psychologist before leaving. After he was gone Spencer came back in and sat back down.

"The girls are on their way over." He said wiggling deeper into his chair.

"Thank you, Spencer." Freddie said trying to sit up. Spencer came over and adjusted the hospital bed so it raised the teenager into a sitting position.

"What for?" He asked as he sat back down.

"For saving me, for not trying to kill me because I'm in love with you, for just being here." Freddie said his lips quirking into a half smile.

"It's no problem, Freddie. I do love you; I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you." Spencer said reaching out and patting the boy's hand again. They sat there quietly until Carly and Sam came bouncing into the room. They screamed in unison and fell upon the bed hugging Freddie tightly.

"Alright, everybody out." Sam said after she had finished hugging Freddie.

"What? Sam we talked about this, you need to stop smacking him around, and you can't beat him up he's in the hospital!" Carly said grabbing Sam's arm.

"I'm not going to hit him. I promise, I just want to talk to Fredward alone for a minute." She said pushing Carly towards the door. She looked at Spencer but he just shrugged his shoulders and walked out the door. Sam closed to door behind and turned to Freddie. He leaned away from her trying to sink into the bed while reaching for the call button.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I swear." Sam said as she walked towards the bed. She leaned down over Freddie. He shook his head quickly his eyes wide. Sam grabbed the front of his hospital gown and jerked him up to meet her. "I have always wanted my very own little gay puppy boy, and now it looks like you fit the bill. If you ever try this bullshit again I will put a collar on me and chain you to the foot of my bed. Do you understand me?" She asked shaking him lightly.

"Yes." He said his eyes still bugged with fear. She swooped down and kissed his cheek.

"If you ever tell anyone I did that I'll beat you with a sack of quarters." She said before going over and opening the door. Freddie's eyes still followed her around the room and they were still bugged but some of the fear had left. Carly walked back over and sat down on the edge of the bed while Sam hovered in the corner like an ever present threat.

"I told Spencer to go home and get some sleep." Carly said smiling down at her friend.

"How long has he been here?" Freddie asked.

"Since yesterday, the doctors tried to get him to go home but he wouldn't leave until he knew you were alright." Carly said shaking her head and smiling fondly. "Did you talk to him?"

"Yeah," Freddie said glancing over to where Sam stood in the corner. "He said I was his little brother that lived down the hall."

"Oh, Freddie, I'm sorry." Carly said reaching over to brush the hair out of his eyes.

"It's alright, I didn't expect much anyway. I'm sorry I was so stupid." He said staring into her eyes before glancing at Sam to include her in the apology

"It's not your fault, but if you ever do it again I'm going to beat you with a sack of quarters." Carly said smiling as smacked him gently upside his head. It was the only place she could think of that didn't have stitches or needles coming out of it. Sam laughed from her corner.

"Did the doctor say when you could leave?"

"He said I lost a lot of blood, he's was actually surprised I made it, he said I needed to recover for a few days and have a session with the shrink before they'll release me." Freddie replied rolling his eyes, it was no less than he knew he deserved but he still wanted to go home.

"Has your Mom been in yet?" Sam asked finally standing away from the wall to take Spencer's chair.

"No, Spence said the doctors had to sedate her. I'm not looking forward to dealing with her. I won't be able to shave for a year and she's already got a lock on the knife drawer."

"I'll try to talk her into an electric shaver, I think she likes us more now that we've saved your life." Carly said smiling.

"Yeah but if she ever finds out how I feel about Spencer she'll lock me in my room until I'm eighty." She said returning the smile.

"What are you going to do about that?" Sam asked leaning forward in her chair. "I mean you can't just stay in love with him can you?"

"I don't know, I've tried to forget about him but it's not easy. He's cute, he makes me laugh, has one of the most perfect butts I've ever seen…." He trailed off as Carly jumped back from the bed waving her hands around her head as if to dispel the image.

"Ew, ew, ew," she chanted as she bounced around in a circle. "It's just Spencer."

"My mom always says the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one." Sam said grinning. "What about Griffin?" She asked.

"Griffin's not gay, he made out with Carly." Freddie said.

"So did you and so did Nevel, she's some kind of gay magnet." Sam said grinning widely.

"That's not very nice, Sam." Carly said shooting Sam a dirty look. "You have a point, but it's not a very nice point."

"Besides what straight boy collects Tiny Babies?" Sam asked.

"Another valid point and Griffin was kind of cute." Freddie admitted. Carly turned to him with her mouth open and her eyes sparking.

"You hated Griffin, and that was after the voice got deeper." She said her jaw still hanging.

"Well like I'm going to say 'wow he's cute'." Freddie said rolling his eyes.

"Why not? I did." Sam said smirking she had curled up in the chair and produced a biscuit as if by magic that she nibbled on.

"FREDDIE!" The scream echoed down the hall causing all three teens to rush jump. Carly darted out the door.

"See you later, Fred dork." Sam said reaching over to ruffle Freddie's hair before she ran out to the door. Leaving Freddie to try and figure out how to escape the coming maternal storm by himself.