Do you really need me to say it again? Fine.
I don't own Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon, Henry Rollins' quotes or any other series that might appear herein.
Previously on Butterflies and Wild Horses:
Ranma, having formed a romance with Kasumi and told his mother about the changing situation (to her delight), has faced down and destroyed a youma that suffered an extreme lack of judgement. Not knowing that his actions were seen by the Sailor Senshi (well, three of them), he is just about to leave…
Panda signs
Sound Effects
'Thinking'
--
"Wait!"
The shout/plea stopped the departing Ranma in his tracks. Turning painfully, he took in the sight of the three girls in very short skirts with the stoicism that comes from with exhaustion.
The Ikazuchi sen ken had worked really well, he thought (as well as looking really, really cool), but MAN had it been tiring. Pushing out that much Ki while maintaining gnosis had been orders of magnitude harder than the other spells he'd done. His head felt like it was full of cotton and it was taking a lot of effort to simply stand at the moment, so he gazed at the three Senshi through eyes glazed and half-lidded with fatigue.
Eyes that widened when he recognised the Senshi in blue.
"Ami-san? What are you doing here?"
The consternation caused by this innocent question managed to bring Ranma out of his stupor a little and caused a few of the spinning gears in his mind to mesh. "Oooh. You're a Senshi, huh?"
All three Senshi stiffened before entering into a heated (whispered) conversation.
"Mercury, how the hell can he see through the disguise fields?" hissed Venus.
"I don't know!" the harried genius girl responded as she glared at the computer screen. "I know the fields are still active, I think he can just see through them!"
"How?"
"I. Don't. Know! He's got a high magic reading, maybe that's it".
"…Sempai."
"Ano…" All three Senshi stiffened at the voice of the well-nigh forgotten boy. "Is there something you need? Only my mum and fiancée are waiting…"
Taking in the abruptly-depressed Venus and Jupiter, Mercury realised it was up to her. With a sigh she turned to her one-time student.
"Please call me 'Mercury' when in public, Saotome-san". Noting the aura of impatience around the youth she decided to be direct. "What I ask is this: would you be able to teach that fighting style you used?"
This proved sufficiently unexpected to wake Ranma up fully.
"You want me to teach you the Art? Why? You can fight can't ya?"
Mercury gave him a wry grin. "Not as well as you, if that display before is any indication. That youma would have taken us rather longer to kill. Besides, we tend to rely on our magic".
Maybe it was the incipient exhaustion talking, but the idea began to take on a certain appeal. 'And I do need to pay Ami-san back for the computer lessons. Besides, it could be fun'.
"Well, I haven't taught before, but I am certified. Ok, sure. When and where?"
Mercury gave him a pleased smile. "Hikawa Shrine. Is 4:30 pm tomorrow ok?"
"Ok, I'll try to make it, though I might get a bit held up. Now, I gotta go. Ja ne!"
Mercury watched him stagger away before turning to her companions.
'Now,' she thought, a low-powered ice attack forming in her hands, 'Let's snap these two out of it'.
--
"Mum! Kasumi!"
Nodoka looked up from the still-sleeping form of her future daughter-in-law and sighed in relief as she saw Ranma jogging towards them. His clothes were somewhat shredded, it was true, and he looked quite weary, buthe was alive, unbroken and in one piece.
Sheathing her ever-present katana (to Ranma's silent but genuine relief), she began to fuss over her son in the age-old tradition of mothers everywhere.
"Are you alright Ranma? You're not hurt? How did you get covered in brick dust? What-?"
"Mum!" said Ranma clearly, gently disengaging his mother's hands. "I'm ok, just tired. Used a bit too much Ki, that's all. The dust is from when I got smacked through a wall, no big deal".
'"No big-! My son is so manly!' "And the youma?"
"I killed it just before those cheerleader girls arrived". Looking around at the gathering crowd, Ranma nodded to himself.
"I'll tell you and Kas-chan the full story when she wakes up, ok? Looks like her ki's been drained, so she'll sleep for an hour or so and wake up starving". 'At least if it's anything like Miss Hinako's attack'.
"Then let us go home, son" agreed Nodoka. "Besides," she said, taking in his ripped and dusty garb, "you could really use a change of clothes before the meeting tonight".
Ranma gave a sheepish grin in reply as he swept Kasumi up in a bridal carry (making Nodoka smile in maternal pride) and set off for the Saotome home.
--
'Well', thought Ranma as he walked into the Dojo that evening, 'This is a tense atmosphere'.
And it was. Were it merely the Tendos present it would have been slightly less heavy (given they all appeared to be expecting a revelation, possibly through Nabiki's efforts), but as the gathering also included both Ukyo and the Amazons (minus Mousse who was minding the Nekohanten), the tension was practically crackling off the walls.
Evidently Ukyo and Shampoo were both convinced that this was the day Ranma would choose them, and the combination of giggly anticipation directed at him and tooth-bearing animosity at each other was putting him rather on edge.
Nor was Akane helping matters. Allowed by Soun to leave her room in order to hear the announcement, there was no discrepancy in HER opinions, oh no. Apparently still convinced it was all his fault, she had fixed him with a crackling glare the moment he had entered.
Seating himself beside his mother, he was about to speak when Genma beat him to it.
"Well boy, what's this all about. I hope for your sake you'll do the honourable thing and apologise to Akane!"
Ranma's second attempt to speak was drowned by Akane shrieking that she "would never marry that pervert", Shampoo and Ukyo yelling (more or less in unison) that Ranma would naturally marry them and Soun somehow managing to burst into tears and sternly agree with Genma at the same time.
Ranma sighed, a tic forming in his left eye as the last of his patience ran out.
Gesturing to Kasumi, Nabiki and Nodoka to cover their ears, he took a deep breath as he focused Ki in his throat and lungs.
"QUIET!"
Abruptly, the only sound to be heard was the rattling of window panes and the panicked barking of dogs in the surrounding streets.
Casting a glare at his slightly stunned audience, he tried again.
"Right, thank you. No one better interrupt 'till I'm finished, ok? Now, ya wanted to know what this is all about Oyaji? Here it is. I am hereby breaking off my engagement to Akane and switching it to Kasumi, with her permission and approval".
Opening his mouth as he prepared to roar, Genma twitched as he heard the very distinctive "chck" of a katana being loosened in its scabbard directly behind him.
'Don't move, Genma old boy' he thought to himself. Some predators could only track by movement, after all. He'd seen it in some westerner movie somewhere.
Ranma cast a grateful look at his mother for the save. With Oyaji contained he could focus on other threats.
'Ok. Old Ghoul talking with Shampoo. Both upset but calm. Threat level minimal.
Ukyo. Angry, upset. Still seated, no offensive motions. Threat level moderate, but not immediate.
Akane. Battle aura, mallet. Threat level high. Neutralise.'
His perceptions boosted by the stress and still further by adrenaline, Ranma was around the table and behind the bobbed berserker before she had even fully risen. Smacking an open palm on her back, the Ki pulsed and gnosis was reached.
'Weaken'.
Catching the girl as she went limp, he gently guided her back onto her cushion.
"Just sit there Akane. I'm not gonna take you smackin' me around anymore."
Eyes sparking in rage, the youngest Tendo swung at him with a growl, only to have her fist stopped by…
A single finger?!
Panic subsuming rage, Akane shrieked.
"What did you do to me, Ranma?!"
"Just my version of the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion" he replied, walking back to his place. "Like I said, I'm through being your punching bag".
"Take it off me!"
"And what would you do if I did?"
"I'll kill you!"
Ranma sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought. No, the effect stays until I'm convinced you can control your temper."
By this point Akane was shaking with fury. "YOU-!"
Akane's potential tirade stopped as Ranma held a Ki-glowing finger at her throat.
"Y'know, I could do much the same thing to your vocal chords" he said in a bland tone. "Wanna find out what it's like being mute? No muscle tension in the voice box, no voice".
Akane subsided, though the look in her eyes held a very clear message that this was far from over.
Hearing the beginnings of a roar that cut off in an odd gurgle, Ranma turned to see the Tendo patriarch (who's Demon Head Attack had been interrupted) held at bay with Nodoka's katana at his throat.
'Ok, the next problem to deal with'.
"Yes, Mr. Tendo, there something you wanna say?"
Gingerly shifting around the blade, Soun made a valiant effort to regain his usual bluster.
"You should forget this foolishness Ranma. You are honour-bound to marry Akane!"
"Right" piped in Genma, back on familiar ground. "Honour demands it. Oh, what did I do to be cursed with such a dishonourable, worthless urk."
"Husband". Nodoka's voice, sweet and calm as it was, nonetheless held a good amount of steel as she tapped her sword point under Genma's jaw. "It distresses me to hear you talking about my wonderful son like that. It would be wise of you to remember this. Sorry Ranma dear, please continue."
Nodding to his mother, Ranma turned back to Soun.
"Yeah, the 'Honour Agreement'. Do you remember what you said when me and Oyaji first came here?"
"He said "Pick the one you want, she's your fiancée", right Ran-kun?" asked Kasumi, a certain mischief in her eyes.
"That's right. The choice was given to me, but through events that are neither here nor there I never actually got to choose. Well, I'm choosing. I choose the one girl who has never hit me, drugged me, poisoned me, blackmailed me, treated me like a prize or blamed me for something that wasn't my fault. Kasumi," he said, turning to her, "Would you consent to being my fiancée?"
The happiness in her eyes made his heart skip a beat as she smiled at him.
"Of course Ran-kun. I'd like nothing better."
For a moment, all those present could see the air around the two glitter.
A moment that was broken, as a growl accompanied by the sound of stomping feet announced Akane's departure.
"Oh my" murmured Kasumi. Catching Ranma's look of concern, she continued. "I'll talk with her later Ran-kun. I think she needs some time to deal with this".
Ranma sighed gently. "Thanks Kas-chan". Turning back to the audience, his face grew grim. "Now, you wanna talk, go for it."
It was Ukyo who spoke first. "So, what, you're together with Kasumi now? What about me, Ranchan? What about your cute fiancée? What about my yattai, my dowry?"
'Great, how do I deal with this?' thought Ranma in a panic.
Salvation came from an unexpected quarter.
"Yeah, the yattai" drawled Nabiki, her usual half-smirk on her face. "Given you lost it to the Gambling King when you were a kid, it was never legally your dowry at all. That's just a technicality, though" she said to Ukyo's angry spluttering. "What you should be asking is this: how does the cost of the yattai stack up against the cost of damages to the dojo after the failed wedding?"
Her grin broadened as Ukyo's spluttering abruptly stopped.
"B-but, you're the one who told us about the wedding!" Ukyo managed to force out.
"And I intend to pay my share of the cost, make no mistake. Do you?"
Seeing that the conversation was drifting into an area he didn't like, Ranma spoke.
"Ukyo, I love you, but it's like a friend and a sister. For years you were my buddy Ucchan, my first and only friend. I just can't think of you as a fiancée or lover, but it'd kill me to lose you as a friend. Could you still be my buddy Ucchan? Please?"
Ukyo, who's head had bowed during the conversation, finally looked back at Ranma with tears in her eyes. "But the agreement, Ranchan! It's either marry you or kill you!"
"Actually" said Nodoka from where she had been keeping Genma at sword point, "a solution occurs. We pay you the cost of the yattai and adopt you into the Saotome clan as Ranma's sister. That would repay the monetary debt incurred by my unworthy husband as well as covering the original intent of the agreement, at least in part."
'As well as doubling the chance of grandbabies!'
Genma, having mustered all his limited courage, mad an attempt at protest.
"But No-chan, you can't-"
"Genma," Nodoka smoothly interrupted, "who is the Clan Head?"
"You, dear."
"Who controls the clan finances?"
"You, dear."
"Who decides on additions to the clan register?"
"You, dear."
"Who made and dishonoured the Kuonji agreement?"
"Me, dear."
"Are you going to be quiet and let me resolve this problem you have made?"
"Yes, dear" said Genma in a defeated tone.
"Good!" said Nodoka, suddenly cheerful. "Now, why don't you and Soun go and play some shogi? I'll bring out some snacks in a short while. Kasumi-chan, Ukyo-chan, could you help me please?"
As the two men (each wearing a "What the hell just happened?" expression) shuffled to the shogi board and his mother, new sister and fiancée headed to the kitchen, Ranma turned to the hitherto-silent Amazons and Nabiki (the latter nibbling a rice cracker and leafing through a magazine, seemingly ignoring the others. Ranma wasn't fooled).
"You two've been pretty silent through this Elder. What's on your mind?"
The look Cologne gave him held a hint of exasperation, a good deal of 'Wise Old Elder' and just a hint of amazement.
"'Elder'? I should ask what's on yours, finally calling me that, Sonny-boy".
Ranma grinned at the comeback. "What can I say, I'm in a good mood is all". Sobering abruptly, he continued. "Seriously Elder, how does it stand between me and the Amazons now? I'm not able to marry Shampoo now, and won't tolerate Kasumi becoming an 'obstacle'."
"Is ok" spoke Shampoo at last. "Never hurt too-nice girl. Glad Ai-, er, Ranma have someone good for him".
'Wow. Wasn't expecting that.'
"You're ok with that, Shampoo?" he asked, a touch of amazement in his voice.
The purple-tressed girl gave him a watery smile, the slight wavering of her voice telling him her feelings. "Is true, Shampoo sad not have Ranma as husband. Shampoo think would make good wife, make Ranma happy. But is good Ranma have nice girl Kasumi. Kasumi make Ranma really happy. Is ok", she giggled, a few tears leaking out, "Shampoo cry, eat much, much ice cream, kick Mousse or Crazy Stick-Boy and feel better."
Stunned, Ranma sat back for a moment before an unwelcome thought presented itself.
"Wait a moment", he said to Cologne, frowning slightly. "Won't Shampoo get some kinda punishment for not marrying me? I mean, she got that c- c- c- feline curse last time".
'He cares for her, at least' thought the tiny tricentennarian. "Yes, she would. The Kiss of Marriage is used to bring strong blood into the tribe. Failure to do so is thus effectively weakening the tribe, and therefore treason".
"No way." Said Ranma bluntly. "No way am I having one of my friends punished for a stupid law over a stupid mistake".
On the verge of rising to his feet, Ranma was stopped by the impact of Cologne's staff on his head.
"Settle down Sonny-boy, it's not like there isn't a way out."
Ranma's anger left him in a rush. "A way out? What would I have to do?"
"I adopt you into the tribe as Shampoo's brother, with the assumption that you'll be willing to share your skills with us (at your discretion, of course). This covers your cursed form, incidentally, so you'll technically be her sister as well. This brings your strength into the tribe, fulfilling the intent of the Kiss of Marriage and negates the Kiss of Death as well, as that can't be used against another Amazon. So, what do you say Ranma?"
Ranma had been frowning in thought as Cologne delivered her explanation. "Hang on, if there was an out to all this, why didn't ya tell me 'till now?"
Cologne rolled her eyes. How could someone so bright in some ways be so dim in others? "Because my granddaughter was in love with you, you mooncalf! Now, will you agree to my offer?"
Ranma thought hard, weighing his options. With a few provisos he couldn't really see a downside to this.
"I'm not gonna go live in the village, I have the final say in what and who I teach and I am absolutely not gonna get involved in any wars of aggression. You get attacked and I'll help, but not if some matriarch gets it in her head to pick a fight with the Musk or Phoenix Mountain. That cool?"
Cologne released a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding. "The teaching part goes without saying. You have my word on the matter of going to war as well ('As having you known as an ally will go a long way toward preventing wars from starting in the first place'). As for the first part, you'll need to come to the village to be properly inducted, but it's not permanent and it needn't be immediate".
"Huh. Ok, one final question before I choose. How would Kasumi fit into this?"
'He's chosen already. Thank Hekate!' "As your mate she would effectively be Shampoo's sister-in-law, and thus accorded the rights and protections of family."
"Ok". Ranma straitened, shifting to a formal seiza position.
"Elder Cologne of the Joketsuzoku, I accept your offer of alliance with and adoption into your tribe, with all the rights, conditions and responsibilities here discussed" 'And likely recorded, if I know Nabiki'.
Cologne drew herself up to her full (minimal) height and replied. "I, Elder Khu-Lon of the Joketsuzoku, do accept you, Saotome Ranma, into my tribe, clan and family, to share strength, aid and knowledge in equal measure". Holding out her hand, the solemnity suddenly fell from her face in favour of a genuine smile.
"As I said, new son of mine, you'll have to come to the village some time for proper instruction, particularly as you need to learn the rules for both men and women, but that can wait a year or two." She would have said more, but Ranma was bowled over by an ecstatic Shampoo who was squealing in broken Japanese and Mandarin about her "new big/little brother/sister".
The noise, of course, brought the other women back from the kitchen. A (hurried) explanation later found Ukyo and Shampoo each clutching an arm and glaring at each other hugging rights for their new brother.
Taking in the indulgent and happy smile on Kasumi, the satisfied Nabiki and the delighted Nodoka ('another sister for Ranma equals another daughter for me equals more potential grandbabies!'), Ranma had only one thought.
"I'm not sure how we got here, but I like it."
--
"Seriously, Saotome, how did you get three flips from one sign?"
--
Author's Notes
Well, there's chapter five for you. now, it's quite likely that i've got the name of the shrine where the Senshi meet wrong. sorry. i'm typing this in a hurry in between preparing for the Anime Con, so if it is indeed whone, it'll be a little while before i can fix it.
On that note, it'll likely be mid next week at the earliest before the next update. i'm working on the assumption that folk like regular updates over large ones, so i'll try to keep them weekly, all other things being equal.
ok, reviews!
Hiryo: Hey, thanks. i wasn't sure about that little narrative trick. glad you liked it!
dennisud: Ok, i get that SM is an acronym for Sailor Moon, not too sure what H+Um is, though i imagine it's obvious to all but me. Well, here you have the responses of some of the NWC. expect the others to turn up in later chapters. remember, it's only been two days in-story so far.
Digineko1a: huh, now that's an interesting idea. i might have to take that into account. thanks!
Dumbledork: Ah, many thanks for the tip! with every error pointed out i grow Stronger!
Jerry Unipeg: Thanks. Yeah, you have the right of it.
lighthalk: Thank you, i will do my best.
deathgeonous: Yeah, that was my opinion. if i want realism i'll watch the news. thanks for the kind comment.
Six-string Samurai: I was a little worried about the Senshi meeting part. i hope i got the personalities down ok. Heh, 'Martial Arts Magic' does make you picture Bruce Lee with a wand, ne? thankee!
Janzo the Ashbringer: Aw, seriously, you folks are gonna make me blush with reviews like that! See, i hinted that the Senshi would appear. Don't worry about the writing, i have at least another four chapters nutted out, and more rattling around in my skull. fear not!
Quathis: Thank you. this being my first proper fanfic, i worry about the quality. recieving a review like yours is very comforting. Cheers!
Rose1948: Glad you liked it!
The Steel Phoenix: Does that mean i'm cool? i'd like to be cool... hehe. no worries about continuance, this is going to be epic, if the contents of my notebook are any indication.
RanmaChaos: Thank you. Will do!
aznblackhowling: Well, i'm flattered to know you consider my story to be well-written. as i said above, i'll try to put out an update every week or so at the least.
greivergf: I like the Dragon Slave too (Slayers rocks!), but i prefer to work with stuff that comes out of my own fevered imagination. i might throw in something like the Dragon Slave, maybe from Ranma watching the show and getting inspired, but i don't see it as being his style. good idea, though.
JhyarelleDrakon: I agree, Kasumi and Nabiki are pretty under-characterised in the anime. a shame, as i think there's a lot of potential there. hell, that's one of the reasons i picked a Ran/Kas pairing. I won't be having Nabiki fall for Ranma, though, not in this story. As for the gnosis, that's part of what got me thinking of Martial Arts Magic as a story tag. the chaos magic attitude just seems so close to what i can make out about Anything Goes, it just seemed like such a cool idea to use. time will tell if it was as cool an idea as i supposed.