Sadly, my attempt to own Ranma 1/2 and Sailor Moon has failed. This means that the following and preceding work is solely the product of my crazed imagination. On that note, enjoy!
-Panda signs-
Sound Effects
'Thinking'
"Computer Talk"
--
Khu-Lon, having lived for just over three hundred years, did not find many things surprising.
After living for so long and seeing so much in that time, it took something quite extreme to achieve that particular distinction.
It was, she had often thought, the curse of longevity. After the first hundred years it could become so very dull. Everything simply a repeat or reconstruction of previous events, with moments of novelty like sparks that flicker and fade.
The sheer tedium drove the lion's share of long-lifers to despair and death as they tried and failed to adapt to their world moving on without them. Where Khu-Lon and her contemporaries (including, unfortunately, Happosai) had succeeded over the others was in finding something to devote themselves to. An anchor, as it were. Happosai's eternal pursuit of underwear, women and the pleasures of the flesh was quite literally his lifeline, fending off the tedium of the ages. Others used revenge, religion or obsession to cope, declaring vendetta "unto the tenth generation", walking the earth to spread the word of (Deity/Philosophy) or simply hunting the perfect morning sunrise. She had even heard of one immortal (not the most accurate term, but the best available) who had devoted his Life (and it deserved the capital, oh yes) to exploring every possible permutation of a game of Go.
As vital as an anchor was to the up-and-coming eternalist (hmm, there was potential there…), one had to beware the tendency to start viewing the anchor as the purpose of one's existence, rather than a means. Too many picked solitary or objectionable activities on which to focus, leading one inevitably to an existence of obsessive hermitage. The Go-obsessed fellow, for instance, hadn't been seen for some hundred or so years, and even then it was to get a new Go board, his own having rotted in the damp air of his cave home. Really, what was the point of living for centuries if you spent the whole time squinting at a game board?
And as for those morons with the swords and decapitation fetish…!
No, far better to choose a focus that involved interaction with others. Happosai's panty addiction, offensive as it was to every right-minded person, by definition required others and thus kept the diminutive pervert connected to the rest of the world (however much the rest of the world might lament the fact).
For Khu-Lon, it was matchmaking and strengthening her tribe and village, the traditional activities of a Joketsuzoku Matriarch. Bringing strong, new blood into the tribe, arranging marriages to blend promising bloodlines, these were the things that had let Khu-Lon live as long as she had. Still, while strengthening the Amazon nation staved off the deadly tedium well enough, it did little about the more general boredom of being an old woman.
Which was why Khu-Lon was so very glad to know Saotome Ranma.
The boy was just so entertaining! Chaos and novelty swirled around him like a tidal bore! And best of all, she could hardly ever predict it!
The two or three years she had been in Nerima had provided more Surprises than the previous century. And that was without her needing to meddle. Ranma had often wondered aloud as to why Khu-Lon was so hell-bent on interfering in his business.
The answer was that it was simply too entertaining not to.
(Khu-Lon was quite sure that it was for the same reason that Happosai hung around. All the underwear in the world available and he chose just Nerima to haunt? Unlikely.)
In truth, she'd abandoned the idea of marrying Ranma to Shan-Pu as a lost cause long ago. There were only so many ways one could trick, trap or drug the youth before his reactions started to lose their lustre. Much as she (and the Council of Matriarchs) wanted dibs on his bloodline, ticking off the killer of Saffron (and hadn't that been Interesting?) would be a Very Bad Thing. Besides, Ranma was more Entertaining when left largely to his own devices.
Take the events of last night, for example. Not the solving of the engagements or the alliance with the Amazons. No, what interested the miniature matriarch was the technique used on the youngest Tendo. That had been no pressure point the elderly Amazon knew of, nor was it a moxibustion technique. A ki-attack was a possibility, but it would have to have been aimed at a corresponding nerve cluster, which it had not been.
Having ruled out the other possibilities, the matriarch grinned.
Magic.
Somehow, Ranma had learned magic, of a style unknown to her. While no slouch at sorcery herself (it had occupied a boring decade in the mid-1800's), Khu-Lon considered herself more an alchemist than a magician. Why spend three hours and a small fortune's worth of supplies to make an enemy forget you when three seconds, the right hair care product (brewed by guess-who) and a knowledge of phrenology could do the job better?
That was her attitude right up to the point when the Tendo girl had her strength sealed. After that…
So. Very. Interesting!
Pulling out a ball of smoky grey crystal she cackled in anticipation, causing several customers downstairs to shiver. If asked the week before if Ranma could learn magic, much less magic so flexible and ideally suited to combat, she would have laughed and accused the person in question of raiding her 'Special' spice-rack. Now, though…
Muttering the incantation and bringing her will to bear on the crystal, she nodded in satisfaction as a tiny image of the Saotome youth appeared, walking along the streets of Nerima.
'Hmm. That's odd.' The image provided by the crystal was generally clear and sharp (allowing for distortion from the spherical shape, of course). This time, though…
'How can a crystal ball even have static, anyway?'
Concentrating in an effort to clear the image, Khu-Lon noted the boy twitch and inhale, before releasing what looked like a truly legendary sneeze.
And the crystal ball filled with static.
For a full ten seconds she gaped in disbelief, before her face settled into a look of mingled mirth, resignation and anticipation.
"Knocking out a magical artefact with a sneeze, Ranma? I'm going to get a lot of entertainment out of this, I think."
--
Setsuna was Stressed. Not merely stressed, but Stressed. The stat of mind she was experiencing fully deserved the capital letter. Noticing that the utopian image of the future world that one has invested over ten millennia into protecting has suddenly become fuzzy will do that. Noticing that, under the fuzziness, minor details have changed will do that as well. And realising that this is the image that had been rock-solid and (pardon the pun) crystal-clear only yesterday, on top of the previous reasons will make one Stressed.
'How can this be? The probabilities of Crystal Tokyo are down to 89 percent!'
Checking the readouts from the Timegates, the green-haired guardian growled. Probability drift at 35 and growing (explaining the fuzziness of the image) and signal interference at .3 cumulative?
'At this rate we'll lose Crystal Tokyo altogether in just over six months.'
"Timegates: Analysis required."
"Specify, Princess Pluto" the voice of the Timegates' AI echoed dully throughout the sanctum.
"Identify the cause of interference to Timeline 001."
"Processing…Cause identified. External chaotic influence."
"Clarify 'external chaotic influence'."
"Events and individuals causative of Timeline 001 are experiencing increased randomness, an order of magnitude higher than the mean. Interference to causal chains results, leading to signal drift and temporal contamination."
"What is the cause of this randomness?"
"Unable to verify with certainty. Highest probability points to randomness centred upon a being, with a probability of 73 percent, plus/minus 7 percent."
Setsuna blinked. This could be the effect of a person? Granted, everyone affected the timestream and small changes could grow, but still…!
"Locate."
"Unable to locate. Chaotic influence renders subject's signature indistinguishable from background noise. Apologies, Princess Pluto".
Setsuna's mood abruptly upgraded from Stressed to just a step below Shrieking Fit. Reminding herself that swearing at an AI was pointless, she forced her tone to remain calm.
"So. Essentially, you are telling me that there is an external influence, most likely in the form of a person, no less, which is reducing the likelihood of Crystal Tokyo simply by existing. Moreover, you have no way of identifying or tracking said being due to its very nature?"
"That is correct, Princess Pluto."
"Graaaaaa!"
Collapsing onto a chair (that materialised out of thin air as she did so), Setsuna rubbed her temples in a vain attempt to stave off the incipient headache. What had she done to deserve all this? She'd served the Silver Millennium loyally, she'd worked to bring about Crystal Tokyo with all her being. Goddess, she'd given over then thousand years of her life to the task!
"Did I tick off some god of mischief or something?" she grumbles, lower lip protruding.
Yes, humble readers. Setsuna, Princess of Pluto and Guardian of the Timegates, was sulking.
Fortunately for her dignity, she was interrupted by the bell-tone that was the Timegate AI's version of a polite throat-clearing.
"Search results for 'Saotome Ranma, Tokyo' tabulated."
"Report." 'Might as well take my mind off the timeline troubles for a while.'
"Unable to verify. Signal interference rendered causal ID impossible".
Techspeak for "the scan failed because of static".
Hmmm. "Cross-reference signal interference from Saotome Ranma search attempt with that of timeline 001".
"Comparing…tentative match. 63.4 percent match, plus/minus 4.3 percent, allowing for time and signal drift".
"Great. Great! So not only is Crystal Tokyo threatened, but the cause of said threat is interfering with operations in the present as well?!"
"That is correct, Princess Pluto".
"Raaaaggghhhh!!"
Deep breaths, Setsuna. Deep breaths.
"Timegates, Standby mode".
Acknowledged."
As the image in the gates faded the green-tressed guardian took up the timestaff and concentrated on a cabin in the woods. 'Family bonding' be damned, it was time to bring the Outers into this.
With a flash of light, the chamber was empty.
--
"Kasumi."
"Yes father?" asked Kasumi, looking up from her dusting. Long experience allowed her to identify Soun's expression as a number 27: 'I have matters of import to speak of'. Setting the duster aside, she joined him at the table.
"I'd like to speak with you concerning your engagement with Ranma. Do you remember the original intent of the arrangement?"
"It was to unite the two schools of Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu, yes?" replied Kasumi with a slightly puzzled look. Where was father going with this?
"That's correct, Kasumi. The problem is that, for the engagement to be true to the agreement, both partners must be practitioners of their respective styles".
"Oh my. Is that why you were so enthusiastic about having Ranma and Akane engaged?"
Soun sighed. "Yes, that was part of the reason. They reminded me so much of your mother and I when we first met, as well. Anyway," he said, fighting off his melancholy, "The point I'm trying to make is that, for the engagement to proceed, you will need to be competent in the Tendo Ryu".
Kasumi's eyed widened. "B-but, how could I learn it? I haven't practiced in years, and-!"
"And that's why I'm going to be training you, Kasumi-chan, with help from Ranma, where possible".
'Father is going to teach again? Oh my!'
Noting the remaining doubt on his daughter's face, Soun braced himself. "I realise I'm easily persuaded on most issues Kasumi, but on this I am resolute. You learning the Art is a fundamental condition of your engagement to Ranma.
Behind his stern, paternal façade, Soun was on the verge of panic. 'Please, please, PLEASE let her make the right decision!'
His hopes were realised as Kasumi nodded. "Very well, father, if marrying Ranma requires my learning the family style, then that is precisely what I will do. However!" she smoothly cut off her father's joyful shouting. "Since I will be devoting time to this endeavour, I will naturally have less available to devote to cooking, cleaning and so on. As such, I will require everyone to take up the balance of duties."
Noting the apprehensive look crossing her father's face (probably at the thought of Akane in the kitchen), Kasumi smiled inwardly and continued. "I have no problem continuing the cooking, but the cleaning, maintenance and laundry must be shared. Ranma has taken to helping me already, but he has some after-school responsibilities that take precedence. As long as I an devoting time to the Tendo Ryu, the housekeeping duties will be shared.
"Second, Akane will assist in training me and you will train her. I believe your refusal to train her has added greatly to the stress and frustration she has been under, leading to the problems she has experienced recently. These are my conditions, father, and like you I am resolute."
'And so does the world change', thought Soun, his apprehension replaced with a rueful grin. "You are so very like your mother, Kasumi-chan. Agreed! We'll start your training tomorrow morning."
"Oh? Why not today, father?"
"Two reasons" said Soun with a smile. "First, training is more effective in the morning, when the muscles are rested. Second, I just heard Ranma arrive home, and I imagine he's hungry…"
The Tendo patriarch abruptly found himself addressing an empty room.
'Ah, young love'.
--
Akane lay on her bed, a frown on her face. Her world had changed so much in just a few days, and she didn't like it. Her fiancée wasn't her fiancée anymore, her strength wasn't hers anymore, her sister had become engaged to Ranma! Nothing made sense anymore!
'What did he mean, control my temper? I can control it!'
Unbidden, images of striking her former fiancée flickered into her mind.
'No, he deserved it! He made me angry!'
Angry…
It was hard to remember a time when she wasn't angry. Oh, there were moments her and there, but they were always fleeting. Then Kuno would show up, or father and Mr. Saotome would start acting stupid, or Ranma would say something mean, and then she'd be angry again.
'It's not that I enjoy being angry, but…'
No. That was a lie, at least in part. In her heart of hearts she had to admit that she did like being angry. Being angry freed her from worry, doubt, fear and sadness. Worry about the future of her family and her position therein, doubt about her position in Nerima's pecking order, fear of the repercussions of Kuno or the Hoard someday winning and sadness…
Sadness held since her early childhood. Sadness at the greatest loss a child can face.
Sadness at the loss of a mother.
No, the heat of anger was better than that old, cold sadness any day.
Akane curled up tighter on her bed. Denied the chance to vent her rage in the usual way, she had been surprised at how tiring anger was to maintain. Where usually she felt strong and vindicated, now all she felt was…weary. So very weary.
And so, for the first time in many years, Akane let the anger go, drifting into a half-doze on her pillows.
A short while later there came a knock at the door. "Akane-chan?" came Kasumi's voice hesitantly. "May I come in?"
"…Alright Onee-chan" responded Akane after a moment.
Kasumi entered her younger sister's room with an uncharacteristic hesitancy. The outcome of this conversation, she knew, could either improve the situation greatly or utterly ruin it.
"Akane-chan, I want to talk with you about what happened the other night".
"What's to talk about, Kasumi? You're obviously the better fiancée for Ranma. Better looking, nicer, better at cooking. Now I don't even have my strength. You win, ok? congratulations."
Taken aback at the bitterness in Akane's tome but encouraged at the lack of anger, Kasumi responded. "It's not a competition, Akane. I never wanted to hurt you, but I fell in love with Ranma, and for whatever reasons, he chose me."
Seeing Akane screw her eyes shut at this, Kasumi's voice trembled. "Do you hate me now, Akane?"
A deep and racking sigh was the answer. "No sis, I don't hate you. I'm angry, but it's at the way things are, not you. I could never hate you. Dammit!" she suddenly punched her pillow. "I don't love Ranma, and I don't want to marry him, so why am I so angry now that I don't have to? Damn!"
Tiring of beating her pillows, the youngest Tendo fell back onto her bed.
"It's just… he was there. I didn't have to hold back, didn't have to be restrained, didn't have to worry. He was there. He was constant. People keep leaving me, onee-chan! First mama, then dad stopped training me. Ranma was there. Teasing me, letting me hit him, distracting me. And now, he's left me too. And- And-".
Tears were gathering in Akane's eyes, only held back by bonds of pure will.
Bonds that broke like tissue paper as Kasumi, eyes bright as well, drew her into a hug. Then the tears flowed, years of anger, sadness and repressed pain flowing with them.
Five minutes later the storm of weeping had subsided to an occasional hiccup or sniffle.
"Feeling better, Imouto-chan?" asked Kasumi gently.
"Y-yeah, a little. Thanks, Onee-chan, I think I'm ok now".
"Good! Ano…there was something else I wanted to ask, Akane-chan". Feeling her little sister tense up, Kasumi hastened to explain. "No, no, nothing bad! Father wants me to learn the Tendo-Ryu to be with Ranma, and I'd like you to help train me".
"Eeehhh? Train you? Me? What? Why?"
Kasumi stifled a giggle at her little sister's reaction. "Besides father, you are the only person competent in the Tendo Ryu and, being at the midpoint between father and I, would be better at helping me learn. Besides, I've persuaded father to start training you again, as well."
Akane's eyes were like saucers as her mind raced. To be properly trained again! To have someone to practice with! Oh, she wanted this, she wanted it badly! But-
"But, the pressure point Ranma used! I can't learn if I can't fight!"
As good as an agreement. "I've spoken with Ranma about this. He says he'll remove the effect if you can go a full day without losing your temper."
Noting Akane's outrage, she swiftly interjected. "Please don't be angry at Ranma for this, Akane. He saw that your temper was getting out of control and tried to help you."
Akane heaved a sigh once again. "It's ok Onee-chan, I don't hate him. I'm annoyed at him, and I don't really like him, but I don't hate him. Sure, I'd love to help you train. Tomorrow will see the appearance of calm, cool tendo Akane!"
Staring at the ceiling after the beaming Kasumi had left, Akane smiled. A day without losing her temper, then what she'd been hoping for would come!
'It'll be tough, but…I'll succeed!'
--
"Dammit Saotome, tell me or you're taste-testing Akane's next cooking experiment!"
-Never! you'll have to- flip -Catch me first, Tendo- flip -Kun! Ha ha ha- new sign -Ha ha ha ha ha!-
"Raaagghh! Get back here you furry fiend!"
--
Author's Notes
Ok. First off, my most humble apologies for the long wait between updates. all i can say is that it's the end of the school year here and things have been a little hectic. Gomen. Add to that my Muse taking an unexpected holiday, and you have a long wait.
Anyway, Behold the update, in all it's cerebral glory! those after action may need to wait a little, but i think you'll be pleased.
and now...
Review responses! (got a lot of them thanks to the long wait, so i'll have to be brief. Sorry)
Quathis: Heh, thanks. Ranma will...meet... the mooncats soon.i have an idea as to how. an evil idea. hehehe.
Ookii Mamoru: Yup, saving that little explosion until later.
Teturo: a good point indeed. i shall bend thought upon it.
Hiryo: thanks! sorry for the wait.
FluffyNevyn: yeah, i'm sorta expanding characters and setting scenes at the moment. expect some action soon, though.
Jerry Unipeg: It'll be interesting, definitely. he he he...
Vampwriter: hehe. I have a positively LOVELY idea for the 'Ranma meets the Mau" scene. it will be fun.
borg rabbit: heh. that made me chuckle. i'm of the opinion that Jumping to Conclusions should be an olympic sport. thanks!
Rose1948: thanks. you are right on the money there.
RanmaChaos: thanks.
Lerris: I see where you're coming from concerning the reviews. i'll have a peek around my profile options. as for the chapter, what can i say? the scenes before and after didn't really fit with it in terms of flow. sorry.
mikek3332002: Thanks.
Six-string Samurai: Ehehe. yeah, i have to admit just coming up with Makoto's ranking off the top of my head. i needed someone to fill the midpoint between Ranma (insanely high ranked) and the rest of the senshi (gifted beginners), hence Mako-chan's 2nd Dan. thinking about it, i figure she's had a lot of real combat experience, and possible past-life memories (The senshi were soldiers, they must have had some kind of training!). that might explain it. and btw, if you do actually write Ranma with the Bro-Ken, please let me know! that sounds like instant win!
deathgeonous: thank you and thank you. for an idea that came from thin air, the secret of the signs has been pretty well recieved. might need to make a oneshot from it...
Enigma-Nemesis (1-7): thanks for the kind words! Yeah, Kasumi/Ranma is my favourite pairing. I'm trying my best to keep this interesting and different, and not just a standard "Romance with fighting" or "Fighting with Romance" story, and there seems to be so much potential in the crossover genre, at least it it's done well. stay tuned for more!
Pryde Kitty: Glad you were amused. yeah, Kasumi may be a little off, but imho, her character is a little underexplored in the manga/anime. i'm of the opinion that still waters run deep, and i wrote Kasumi with that in mind. And fear not, there will be interesting magical hijinks aplenty in succeeding chapters!
Bloodreaver Alpha: thank you.
gaul1: wow. uh, i hate to say it, but i hadn't really give the Panda Sign thing much thought, though i'm impressed that you have. if i did, i'd say it was just a combination of a highly specialised Hidden Weapons technique and creative use of Ki to form the letters. of course, the answer is probably far, far stranger than that...
well, that's that. there may be a bit of a wait until the nest chapter, as my posting has caught up to my writing, but i'll do my best to have it up in a week or so.
Next on 'Butterflies': Ruminations, flashbacks, fangirls and mooncats. Oh yes, and pandas. Can't forget the pandas.