Author: Elizagoth

Word Count: 1,198

Rating: M (Adult subject matter)

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the following work of fiction.

Author's Notes: So in case I haven't mentioned it before, this is pre Sucker Punch. Umm I guess minor character spoiler from here on out, if you haven't yet seen Sucker Punch. No plot spoilers though, I keep it pretty original. As always, any and all thoughts are welcome. I'm always looking for ways to improve, ideas, whatever you want to say. Hats off to my very own Kate for putting up with me.

I fidgeted in my seat as Alexis and I rode in silence. Going a mile a minute, my mind raced through ideas for small talk. Each one sounded forced, even in my head.

"Gram will be glad to see you," Alexis supplied.

I turned from the window and forced a smile, trying to quell the nerves that raced through my body. It was strange not having Castle around, having gotten used to his presence in everything I did. Even in life he had been my constant shadow, always by my side.

"How is she?" I asked, trying to attempt conversation.

"She's good, busy. It's her first show since, well… you know," she said, her voice falling flat.

Another example of how life had moved on without me. Knowing the world kept going was far different than having the evidence in plain sight. I envied them all for their ability to pick themselves up.

Feeling the beginnings of a brooding mood creeping in, I gave myself a mental shake and put my best face forward for Alexis. Thankfully the car pulled over, also diverting my attention from my dark introspections.

"We're here," Alexis said, standing in front of a low key diner as I got out of the car. "Is this okay?"

"It's fine," I nodded, shoving my hands in the pockets of my jeans and following her inside.

"So what sort of dress did you have in mind?" Alexis asked, as we slid into a booth.

Before I could reply a waiter came from behind me to put our menus down, making me jump in skittish surprise. He muttered an apology, taking our drink orders and disappearing back into the kitchen.

"I- uh, I don't know," I said, trying to hide my discomfort.

It was harder being out again than I thought. I was acutely aware of every movement around me and each sound seemed loud in my ears. For the first time in months, the fact that Castle's murderer hadn't been found was at the forefront of my mind. Without Castle near me, I felt exposed and vulnerable.

"Kate? Are you okay?" Alexis asked, taking my clammy hand in hers.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, giving what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

"You know that you don't have to come tonight right?" Alexis said, not letting go of my hand. "I don't want you to feel obligated because of me."

"Hey, look at me," I said, catching the girl's blue eyes, so much like her father's. "Since when have you ever known me to do something that I didn't want to?"

A smile broke out across her face and I felt myself smile back as the tension eased. After that, we went on with lunch. Conversation flowed easily and I was surprised at how hungry I was when my burger and fries were placed in front of me. Alexis told me about the boy in one of her classes that she had been seeing. She said she wanted me to meet him sometime and I said maybe a trip out of the city sometime would do me good.

"Are you ready to shop till you drop?" Alexis asked as we settled the check and made our way back out onto the street.

"Do your worst," I laughed, letting her take my hand.

We made our way downtown, hitting a few smaller boutiques before heading for the larger department stores. Alexis chattered away and I gave her my opinion whenever she asked.

"Let's see about finding our dresses yeah?"

I nodded and let her drag me over to a rack of designer dresses. It had been awhile since I had bought anything to go out and some of the items were beautiful, evoking a feminine giddiness I hadn't felt in quite some time.

"What about this?" Alexis asked, holding up a dark blue strapless number to my thin frame.

"I don't think so," I said, my mind going to the pinkish scar on my shoulder. "Maybe something with a little more?"

She furrowed her brow in thought and nodded, going back to searching. A sales woman made me jump as she skulked forward and offered her help. Alexis politely declined and I let out a relieved sigh.

"Here, what about this?" she said, holding up a Audrey-esque little black dress. "We could get you a jacket or something to go with it? Or I found a couple more things. Why don't you try them on and see if you like any of them?"

Slightly overwhelmed by her enthusiasm, I just nodded and took the stack of clothes from her. We made our way back to the changing rooms, Alexis picking up a cropped jacket to go with the black dress as we weaved through the store.

"Alright, I'll be out here if you need help or anything," she said, giving me a gentle nudge into a cubicle.

Hanging up the stack of dresses, I put the black one on top. As my hands pulled off the faded blue t-shirt I took a moment to observe myself in the full length mirror.

A faint pink line ran through my right eyebrow, leaving a gap in the brow that I was sure would never fill in. My mind's eye could still see my bruised sides and feel the phantom ache of cracked ribs. Slowly raising a hand to the discolored scar below my left collar bone, I closed my eyes and bit my lip.

"Don't you touch her!" BANG! BANG! "Kate!"

I dropped my hand and turned from the mirror, reaching down to undo my belt.

"Dick? Honey could you take these up to the front for me?" came a lilting feminine voice from one of the other stalls.

"Sure baby, I'll meet you at the checkout when you're done."

I felt a cold chill go down my spine at the sound of the other, more masculine voice. The voice that would forever be imprinted in my mind. I pulled on my shirt and opened the door with trembling hands.

"Kate, are you alright? Kate?" Alexis asked, taking my hand.

"Where did he go?" I said, barely able to hear her over my racing heart.

"Who? Kate you're awfully pale, maybe you should sit down for a minute."

I pulled my hand roughly from her grasp, frantically heading to the checkout desk. Alexis followed me as I dodged people and clothing racks, trying to control my breathing and stave off the impending panic attack.

As I rounded the corner near the entrance, I froze. There he was, the man who haunted my every waking moment. The cause of every nightmare; every tear I had shed.

"Yeah, it's C-o-o-n-a-n," he said, spelling out his last name to the cashier.

Adrenaline surged through me as I realized I now knew the name of the man who had ruined my life. Without thinking, I rushed forward, leaving Alexis calling my name.

"Dick Coonan, NYPD! You're under arrest!" I yelled, letting my brain call up the familiar phrase.

His eyes widened and he took off out the front door back into the streets. Not giving it a second thought, I charged after him.

To Be Continued…