Chapter 17

...

I found myself gasping on a warehouse floor, arms wrapped around a tall female body. Savannah.

She pulled away quickly, touching her arms to make sure she was alive, looking down at the ground, not making eye contact. I followed suit and then mentally checked my reserves of power. They were low—back to normal then.

Savannah's hand was shaking as she helped herself to her feet. "What happened?"

"I don't know," I replied. I glanced up at her and then spotted the two men behind her. "Leech!"

I flung myself at him and wasn't surprised to find Savannah following suit. He was warm and real and alive. Alive! It seemed like such a stupid, small thing—it strange at the difference that one word made. I felt the tears come, for everything I had lived through and everything I had seen, for the pain I couldn't stop and the pain I couldn't handle. Savannah was shaking beside me and we both clung to Leech for dear life, because if he was real than all that had just been a bad dream.

"I'm the one who said the spell," a voice complained from behind him. It took me a moment to place it. Somehow Bryce hadn't seemed to belong to the nightmare world, even if Leech had. "A little appreciation—"

I stumbled towards him; I didn't exactly mean to collapse against him, but my legs weren't working properly. He caught me, at any rate, warm and real and even if he didn't like me very much, he was never going to hurt me the way everyone else had. The tears tried to come for a second time, but I forced them down once again.

It was over, it was done. But—oh!—it hurt just the same.

"Thank you," I told him. "Thank you for getting us out of there."

"You couldn't have done it a little faster," Savannah spat.

Bryce shook his head. Whether he admitted it or not, it was probably pure luck that the spell had worked. I doubted he would have been able to light a candle at this point. He looked completely drained. "Remind me not to save your life again. Stop shaking, Gillian, you're freaking me out."

"Sorry." I tried to focus on business. "Is the portal closed?"

He shook his head so I tried to turn to the problem at hand. The only problem was that Bryce was a lot stronger than me. His arms were tight around me and I was too weak to make him let go. "Let her do it," he told me.

Savannah was already going through my journal, delighted for the distraction, eager as always too show off. It was probably better this way. I was a little too weak to cast anything, but Savannah had been storing up her power for a while now. All I had to do was tell her which spell and then I could lean against Bryce and just rest for a little while.

Not too long. I had barely closed my eyes before Leech announced, "She did it."

"Point for the Sabrina School," Savannah said, sticking out her fist.

It was a pathetic attempt at pretending we were okay, but I was fine with playing along. Bumping it, I forced myself to smile, to act like nothing had happened.

Grant spoke up from the background. I had almost forgotten he was there. "We need to go. It's not safe to stay."

Bryce took control. "Grant, take my sister back to the car. Make sure no one sees her. Paulson, get rid of these people and call someone down here to clean up this mess. Leech grab the notebook and anything else. Gillian?"

"I'm fine," I said, choking back the sobs.

"Bullshit. Close your eyes. Leech will get you out of here."

I did as I was told and sure enough the big man came over and scooped me up like I was a rag doll. I shivered, remembering how boneless Kristof had looked. I wanted to open my eyes, reassure myself that Bryce wasn't nearly angry enough to know the truth, but I didn't dare. He hadn't told me to close them as a joke. I was a witch, an anomaly, and he couldn't afford to have anyone know.

Leech would expect me to cry so I did. Bawled like a child, as a matter of fact. Dripping nose, shaky breathes, the whole works. I lost complete and utter control because you couldn't ignore your failings when they had been played out in front of you, live in living colour.

I heard the car come around the bend and stopped myself. Wiping furiously at my eyes, I dared a peep and saw it was only the three of us and Paulson. He took over driving when Grant brought the car around. Grant had to organize the dissolving of the mission.

"How many died?" I asked.

"Only two," Leech said gently. "After you stepped inside the portal everyone who was hurt just got magically better. Just the dead stayed dead."

I felt even more sick to my stomach. Because I could do math and as much as I loved Savannah, two was worse than one. Not that I wasn't glad—I was completely glad and I would take that deal in a heartbeat—but it shouldn't be easy. That was two more families that Daddy was never coming home to. More children like me that would grow up with blood money and nothing else. Yet...I wouldn't go back and change it.

I climbed in the car, followed by Bryce. It was only once I was inside that I realized I was located between him and Savannah. Great. Stuck between two stubborn, angry Nasts. The safest place to be.

"What the hell happened to you?" Bryce demanded. "You look terrible."

"Thanks, Bryce. You're such a charmer."

He ignored me in favour of studying Savannah. "She looks like hell too. I want to know what you did."

I laughed a little hysterically and let Savannah answer. "None of your fucking business. Don't act like you give a damn, Bryce." Because she couldn't handle that right now.

His arms wrapped around my waist and he forcibly turned me around to face him. His hands began to wander, checking for injuries. I tried to pull away and ended up hitting him in the shoulder. He didn't even flinch. That caught my attention.

"What happened to your arm?" I demanded.

"Leech told you. It stopped hurting." Bryce rolled his eyes at my sudden interest, but dutifully pushed up his sleeve so I could get a better look.

Under the bandage, the skin was perfectly smooth. No blemishes and clearly no scar. That wasn't possible. No matter how good Nadira was, even supernatural healing left a mark. I pressed down, applying pressure and that didn't seem to hurt him either.

"That's enough, Gillian. You're bony fingers are going to leave bruises," he complained, pushing my hands away.

"You didn't just heal, Bryce. You never got hurt," I said in wonder.

Leech spoke from the front. "I'll call around when we get back, see if anyone knows even the theoretical side effects of going inside a time tear."

"Either of you going to tell us what happened while you were in there?" Bryce whispered against my hair. I just closed my eyes and tried to forget. Savannah spoke from my other side.

"Sort of the a ghost of the majorly suck-y past. And hopefully not future." She shuddered as she said it and I couldn't help agreeing.

"You saw memories?" Leech asked.

"Bad memories," I corrected. "The ones you try and convince yourself never happened. And then future moments of extreme misery. It was fun. You should try it sometime."

"No puppy dogs and rainbows in your future?" Bryce asked.

"I think visiting my mother's grave piss drunk was actually my best moment," I sighed, unable and unwilling to keep the self-loathing from my voice. "I was pathetic."

"I let you," Savannah said. That had probably been the strangest part. Everyone always said I was going to fall apart. But Savannah wasn't exactly the sort of person to let me stay there. I would get better because she said so, or she wouldn't stick around. But she had. She had stuck around so much, she even left Adam.

"At least you finally fucked Adam," I pointed out.

She punched me in the arm as I laughed. "God, that's just wrong. He's like so fucking old and...god, did you see him? That chest...fuck me."

I giggled and shook my head. "Apparently, he will."

"As interesting as hearing about the sex life of my sister is," Bryce snapped, "Could the two of you focus, please?"

Savannah didn't like that. "Like I wasn't unfortunately way too well acquainted with your sex life. Let's see how you like it when I seduce Leech."

Leech blushed. Hell, I blushed too. Bryce just smirked and shook his head. "Focus."

"We saw the past. And the future."

"Actually," I spoke up. "We don't know if it was either. It might not have been the exact past. And as for the future...it might not be the future. It might just be what we're scared of or...or something."

"I can't see Sean yelling at me, ever. And Leech doesn't seem like the type to just..." Savannah broke off, but then resolved to spill everything. "You don't want to kill yourself, do you Leech?"

Leech looked almost guilty for a second and I felt Bryce tense beside me. But the bigger man shook his head. "No."

"And really? You can't get pregnant so why are we even worrying about any of this."

"Did I tell you I gained two pounds last week?"

"Didn't I see you throw them up the last two days?"

"Shut up." I glanced up and saw Bryce looking at me carefully. "Cut that out. Like you'd ever condescend to knock me up. You're too busy enabling me in the future."

Savannah piped up. "Then it's for sure not real. He's not going to fucking do that unless he knocked you up and he wouldn't be alive to let you freak out if he had."

Bryce demanded, "Am I supposed to be following this?"

I shook my head and tried to go back to sleep. "Nope. Just go back to being annoyed with me."

"Like I ever stopped," he growled, arm tightening around me. "We are looking into this."

I agreed, but since we couldn't do anything right that second, I just closed my eyes. Leech gave Bryce a brief overview of what we had to do to open the portal. There was an apology in there somewhere, but I was too tired to pin it down. Once he had finished, we drove in silence, only the radio Bryce ordered on making noise. There were things to discuss, final plans to make, but they could wait as we all tried to recuperate our strength. Eventually, Savannah broke the silence.

"Bryce," she asked from my left side, "How did your father die?"

He stiffened in the seat, body going rigid. "Excuse me?"

The radio seemed oppressively loud all of a sudden. Paulson seemed to realize this was not something he should be listening to and I watched as a window came up between the front of the back. And I sat between the two half-siblings and hoped they wouldn't kill each other.

"The autopsy," Savannah said. "They must have had an autopsy, right? During the investigation, they must have done one. Did you read it?"

Of course he had read it. The same way I read my father's deposition on what happened that week he went missing, even though he begged me not to, just so I would know how he got each debilitating injury, the same way Savannah had known every move that proceeded her mother's death because she replayed it constantly—Bryce had read that autopsy report, over and over, searching for some closure. I would have. And the way he flinched, the guilt that shot across his face, proved it.

"Can we not talk about this?" he demanded.

I tried to intervene. "Why don't we wait until we figure out what happened back there before we do this? They could have been fake memories or—"

"Anything you saw that hasn't happened?" She demanded angrily. "You trying to say your sister didn't try and beat you up?"

"Don't talk about Dana. And just because most of it seemed like it had happened, doesn't mean that—it doesn't mean that you should be bringing this up."

"I need to know how Kristof died," she announced.

"Can't you just accept it was an accident and move of?"

"No. We're getting to the bottom of this. Bryce, how the hell did your father die?"

"Why do you need to know?" There was a dangerous edge to his voice. I sat up straight and prepared half a binding spell. I wasn't sure who I was going to cast it on, but it didn't hurt to be prepared.

"How did he die?" she repeated.

"How do you think?"

"How did he fucking die?"

Her face was white, spittle flying, eyes wide. I curled unconsciously closer to Bryce. She was terrifying in her despair.

Bryce's voice was clam, deceptively calm, since he was still coiled so tightly I thought he was going to break. "He was bruised up pretty badly, all over, but they think that was done post-mortem. Broken arm, broken leg, three ribs on the right, one on the left—but again, done after he died, they think. They think what killed him was a blow to the head."

"Which part?"

It was surreal. They were talking like it was a just a matter of what to eat for lunch and not their father.

I closed my eyes as Bryce announced, "Back of the head. Something caved in the back of his head. Instantaneous. No pain," he added dully.

Savannah's voice was hallow. "So I did kill him."

"You don't know that," I burst out, before her brother could kill her. "You can't be sure. You can't."

Savannah's mind worked furiously. "Paige would know." The car stopped, but no one got out. "Paige knows." And then she burst out of the car, running to the house.

Leech had locked the door, but Savannah used an unlock spell and when that didn't work she severed the bolt. Bryce hurried out of the car after her and I rushed after them both, still feeling nauseous. Leech and Paulson followed me, before Paulson pulled up short. He would guard the perimeter.

I found them in the kitchen, Savannah dialling a number, cursing when her shaking hands didn't obey. Bryce was standing beside her, eyes blazing. But he really was a Cabal sorcerer. He would have definite proof before he choked her to death with his bare hands.

"She's just going to tell you the same thing she always does," I said, trying to grab the phone away. "She's just going to tell you what she thinks you need to hear."

Savannah eyes narrowed, but she acknowledged my point by putting the phone on the counter. She turned to me, hands out. "I need to know," she whispered.

"Will it really help?" Leech said, trying to gather her in his arms.

She jerked away and as one, Kristof's children announced: "Yes."

"You're father doesn't think it matters," Leech continued. "He's right here Savannah, asking you to put the phone down. The past is the past. He loves you and hates to see you this upset."

Savannah glanced at me, pleading. When I had the choice of knowing exactly how my father died, how fast did I take it? In a heartbeat. Had it helped? Hell no. But I couldn't deny her that mistake. I took the phone from her. "Put it on speaker phone."

Bryce hit a few buttons and gestured for me to continue. Did I really want to hurt him this badly? Not even when I hadn't met him. But Savannah needed to know and they said the truth set you free. Leech didn't like where this was going. "Gillian, stop. It was an accident. An accident, so just leave it alone."

"Leech, I love you like a brother, but if you don't shut up I will have you killed," Bryce announced.

"You all need to be quiet," I told them. Savannah cast a binding spell and Leech froze. I dialled Paige's number.

The thing about lying that most people don't realize, is that it's a skill like any other. You have to practice to be any good. Sure there are natural liars, but they hone their skills too, turning it into an art form. And boy had I practiced. Thanks to Paige, I had practiced. Because I needed to be what she wanted so she would stick around.

The trick was to say what people expect—they accept it without question. Things like this were more difficult. Inventing stories required a fine eye for balancing fact and fiction, the plausible and the impossible. I wasn't that good, but I did have an advantage. Most people thought I was telling the truth. And Paige was the type of person who wanted to see the best in people. Maybe I should feel bad, playing on this trust, but I didn't. I had watched both Savannah's parents die—I wanted to give her the truth, no matter how I had to get it.

The phone rang once, twice and then Paige picked up. "Hello?"

"Paige? It's Gillian."

"Are you alright, Gillian? You sound...." She searched for an inoffensive way of saying I sounded like I had spent the day sobbing while watching the worst moments of my life.

I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry, Paige. Savannah got a bit of a fever and it sort of freaked me out."

"Is she alright? I can fly out—"

"No, she'd know I told you then. It's just, I wasn't sure if the fever was bad—don't worry though, I called Sean Nast, she told me too, and he sent a shaman over and he fixed her right up."

"That's good," Paige said doubtfully. I was too shook up for her to expect that to be the whole story. I didn't disappoint.

"When she was feverish—I'm sorry, it's not any of my business. I shouldn't have called."

"What happened, Gillian?"

I licked my lips and looked up. Savannah's blue eyes bored into mine, demanding I push this. "She was screaming all these things—half-casts of some kind and calling for Eve. Begging for her really. And she kept saying, 'You killed Paige. You promised and you killed her.' I was a little afraid she was going to summon something."

"And then what?"

"She broke my book shelf. Just stuck out a hand and the whole thing broke. At least it wasn't me, right?" I gave a fake little laugh and added, "And then...well, I don't really know how to say it...."

"Gillian..."

"Right. She said I killed him. She kept repeating it, over and over, just shouting, I killed him, I killed him. I told her she's never killed anyone, but she kept saying it."

Paige's side of the line had gotten very quiet. Leech was moving in the background, Savannah being too distracted to hold the spell. But he said nothing. I always thought he was clever.

"So I asked her who she killed. And then she just sort of laughed and said 'Kristof.' She was crying and laughing and I frankly didn't know what to do so I called Sean. She kept saying things in the background, 'killed Paige, you deserve it,' I don't know—it just scared me a little."

"That's understandable." Paige tried to laugh, but failed. "She can be intense sometimes."

"Paige?" I spoke quietly—I didn't have to fake apprehension about her answer. "Did she really...I mean, I know I'm being ridiculous, but she just sounded so sure...did she really kill Kristof Nast?"

Savannah stepped closer to the phone, but I held her back not wanting Paige to hear her. On my other side, Bryce remained frozen, staring at the phone like it contained all the mysteries of the universe.

"The investigation said it was an accident."

I gave a little laugh. "I know. I'm being silly. It's just...Paige, was it really? Did the house really just collapse and trap him in? Sean's been asking to see her and I don't want to say yes if there's even the slightest bit of truth in what she's saying. She'd never forgive me."

Paige spoke slowly. "The house collapsed on top of him."

I pounced on her hesitation, playing my trump card. "While he was alive? Please, Paige, just tell me the truth. She's the only sister I have left and I just can't stand seeing her like this."

The silence grew as Paige decided on her answer. I knew what it would be—I think everyone else did to. But we had to hear it first.

"She didn't mean to," Paige repeated. "She didn't realize it was him, not really. She just meant to push him away. She was just too strong."

"An accident," I repeated.

"An accident. She didn't mean to knock him back, certainly not with that amount of force."

"Thanks Paige," I said. Savannah's face was breaking, and anger was going to emerge dominant. Why hadn't Paige told her? Paige wasn't supposed to lie, she was a goody-goody. White-hats didn't lie.

"Don't tell Savannah I said anything," Paige told me. I promised.

Savannah spun on her heel and tore out the back. "What is with you witches and running?" Bryce snapped as the three of us hurried after her. I could have warned him, but he should have known better. Savannah never backed down.

Bryce almost crashed into her, as she stood on the back porch. The smile on her face made me take a step back.

"Hey, Bryce. I killed your father. What are you going to do about it?"

Talk about poking the angry bear. But that's the way she wanted it to be...Bryce evidently agreed with me. He looked at her for one long moment and then swung a fist right at her face. She barely ducked in time, stumbling backwards. With a war cry, she dove at her brother, knocking him right over.

Fight.