I think I just discovered a way to achieve world domination. Sweet!
Warnings: History dug up from the trenches of my brain, drugs, at least two hippie references, and mass amounts of theoretical murder.
Disclaimer: I don't own.
During the reign of the head mistress Hive kids got days off. The younger a student was, the more days that they got off. It was finally that time of month that had been long anticipated by the students, and they didn't have any idea of what to do. It was especially boring because Angel, Bailey, and Mammoth only got one day every three months, and today was not that day.
So, instead of going out gallivanting through the streets, causing mayhem, doing drugs, playing guitars at people, and being generally hippie dippy, the students were at the park, collapsed in a pile on the grass.
"I'm going to live to be one hundred." Jinx announced out of the blue, her eyes still focused on the clouds lazily making their way over head. "I've decided. I'm going to live to be one hundred and everyone will respect me 'cuz I'll be old and wise and kick their butts if they don't."
Billy sneered. "Stupid, no one lives to be one hundred."
"They do too!"
"Not in our profession, they don't."
"Then I'll be the first." She turned her head from the sky to give him a dirty look. "Anyway, there's no way I'll die before you do."
He conceded that point. "You're too damn stubborn to do that."
"And stupid." Mikron added on. "Have you ever heard of a super villain who lived to be one hundred? If you did then he was probably nabbed in his prime and spent the rest of his days in prison." He paused before adding sweetly. "Maybe that'll be you Jinx."
She scoffed. "I'd rather die first."
"We'd celebrate your death." Hank said cheerfully. "It'll be like an end to the Reign of Terror. Y'know, that Chinese period of debauchery and bloodshed."
"Yes Hank, we know." Replied Seymour, not even bothering to open his eyes. "We were all there in History class yesterday."
"We had one of those back home." Hank replied dreamily. "Political upheaval, the whole shebang. It was fun, a lot of people died."
"You're an ass." Jinx said resolutely. "An absolute ass."
"Yep, but he sure is truthful." Billy replied merrily. "Hank, didn't you guys also have one of them Opium war things?"
"Sort of." Hank conceded, looking slightly disgruntled because more than one thing could be linked between his planet and Earth. "We shipped lots of drugs over to an enemy planet, sort of drugs I mean. Like, not what you guys have here. More, I dunno, different though. Anyway," he started to get excited and sat up so he could gesture better, "so the whole planet starts taking this shit, and they're really high. I mean like, you can see the gasses coming off the planet. Their whole atmosphere was swamped, it was awesome." He said reverently. "So then, we stopped supplying right? And, they were all going through massive withdrawal and started killing each other for what was left of the stuff. So they all are killing each other off, right? And then once a lot died, we would start supplying again and repeat the whole damn thing. And then, when we did attack them, they were all too doped out to care!"
All of the kids got out of their lazy positions to look at him in horror.
"That is so-"Jinx tried to say before stopping, a look of half admiration and half disbelief clouded her face.
"Sweet!" Seymour finished her sentence, not bothering to hide his veneration. "Like, you could kill a whole effing planet with that! You could kill a whole, like, civilization!"
"I wonder if we could use that strategy on heroes." Jinx said thoughtfully.
"We probably could." Billy said, deep in contemplation. "The question is, how would we start them on it, you know? It's harder to get specific people addicted."
Elliot looked dreamily around, still imagining the countless drugs. He gave a start with an idea and gestured to the rest fervently.
"Just getting one addicted? That might work actually." Seymour translated.
Hank looked extremely pleased with himself.
"You are all idiots." Mikron scowled. "I'm leaving before my brain cells are drained by being around you."
He got up and stomped away. Jinx stuck out her tongue at his back.
They lay down again and observed the clouds. It was really nice going out in the civvies. All that the people who walked by saw when they looked at them was a bunch of too skinny kids with a little too much street cred then was healthy. They didn't see aspiring thieves, and, as proud as most of the Hive kids were about their chosen professions, it was kind of nice to get away from all of that. Of course, once the pedestrians saw Hank the niceness that came from acting like civilians vanished, but it was nice while it lasted. Plus, they needed to enjoy the only free day that they had in the month, and they certainly weren't going to spend it doing too many illegal things. They did that every other day in the month, after all.
"Hank, you should bring that up for extra credit, lord knows you need it." Seymour said after a little time had passed by with a smirk.
"Mr. Dunham has it in for me!" Hank groaned, thinking back to their no nonsense History teacher that Angel may or may not have been dating.
"No, you're just a crap student." Billy said nonchalantly.
"So are you!" Hank shot back.
"Whatever."
The group was silent once more.
"Hey, if I die before one hundred, not that I'm gonna or anything, but if I do…" Jinx trailed off thoughtfully. "I want all of you to throw a party about me. With all my favorite music and colors and stuff. To celebrate my absolutely fabulous life, okay? No funeral stuff, I can't stand people sobbing like babies. Let's do a party for everyone when they die, instead of funerals, okay?"
"Will do." Seymour replied cheerfully and both Billy and Hank nodded in affirmation.
Elliot's forehead creased in unease. He gestured again, his fingers making agitated movements as he attempted to express his thoughts. Luckily, the Hive kids were getting pretty good at Elliot-isms.
"Everyone's going to die some time." Jinx smiled mischievously. "I just want to go out with a bang when I do, that's all, if I don't live to be one hundred I mean."
He nodded his head fervently as if to say that she would live to one hundred. Jinx gave him her crooked grin while Hank and Billy rolled their eyes behind her back. Seymour edged away from them.
"What?" She snapped, looking back. "Do you have a problem with that jerks?"
A pink hex flew and sent Billy and Hank crashing through the tree. They got up, annoyed.
"I am definitely going to throw a party when you die."
She smirked. "See that you do."
The hexes flew.
Okay, I admit it. I am having way too much fun with Hank.