How soft a whisper can get
When you're walking through a crowded space
I hear every word being said
And I remember that every day
I get a little bit closer to you

Sora…

Sora…

Sora…

I was seriously obsessing over this guy. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't do anything without thinking about him.

And man…they weren't the best of thoughts. It didn't help when I woke up and he was right there, so close to me that everything he felt was just rushing in. And then I got into that damn fight with Riku, things seemed to just get worse from there.

Every day turned into hell, I had never wanted someone so badly and it felt like every second that went by without him was pure torture. Damnit…

I laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling, trying my best to ignore the boy that was mere feet away. How could I sleep when he was so near? I just wanted to reach out and touch him, but I held myself back. I mean, he was my fucking brother! I've always been a little twisted but this was sooo wrong. Not to mention the feelings he gave off were so confusing.

He always acted on edge around me, like something was always running through his head making him nervous and excited at the same time. It just left me feeling confused.

"Roxas?" I heard him whisper across the room, my heart leapt to my throat and was beating so hard I was near hyperventilation. "Yes?" I asked, rolling onto my side so I could face him properly.

"Why does Riku not like you?" He asked, his words sounding careful. I thought about how I would respond for a moment, but the flame that constantly flared up in remembrance of the hate that always followed my every move came bursting through me. "He's like the majority of this fucked up place, they don't like people that aren't replicas of themselves. People that are different scare them." I said angrily.

Sora was quiet for a moment, then he sat up and I did as well. "I'm sorry, Sora that sounded like I was saying you were like them and honestly…you're not. But they seem to like you, and I'm glad that you can fit in and make people proud rather than constantly piss them off." I told him, blurting out the words but he held up his hand to stop me.

"Roxas…it's fine. They just don't see you, not the way I do." He said it so softly, so sweetly…damn, I just wanted to kiss him. It was like he was throwing himself at me, like he was the oldest, sweetest wine in the world just begging for the alcoholic to take a sip. Oh God…

"Night, Roxas." He said at last with a smile on his gorgeous lips. He laid back down and slowly he drifted off to sleep.

I didn't sleep at all that night, I got up and pulled on my uniform. Then I fixed myself up and snuck out the window, walking all the way to my destination. I picked up a rock and threw it at the window. And then another. And then another.

He finally stuck his head out just in time to get hit by one of my flying stones. "Shit! What the f-…Roxas?" He asked, staring down at me. "No shit Sherlock, open the door." I said with a huff, rolling my eyes. He walked away from the window and I heard him meandering down the stairs, then the door next to me opened.

"Get in ass wipe. Geez, why the hell did you wake me up in the middle of the fucking night?" He asked, running a hand through his hair as he gazed at me through bleary eyes. "I know how you feel now." I said unhappily as we trudged up the stairs and into his bedroom. "Whatcha mean Rox?" He asked me, laying down on his bed and I took a seat on the floor. He handed me some blankets and a pillow.

"I'm talking about Sora. Red…I'm falling for him. And every minute being away from him is hell, I just want to fuck him, and love him, and hold him, and just take care of him. Every second away from that fantasy coming true is terrible." I mumbled and he stared at me then laughed. "Okay, dude, I only caught the word fuck out of there and since you were referring to me I suppose you were correct in knowing how I feel." He said.

How long an hour can take
When you're staring into open space
When I feel I'm slipping further away
I remember that every day
I get a little bit closer to you

After we talked for awhile, I finally fell asleep. The nightmare I normally had came to play, only this time I woke up screaming instead of in the arms of an angel. "Roxas, it's alright." I heard Axel's soothing voice say from the bathroom.

When he stepped out, he was ready for school. "Ready to go?" He asked, and then noticed my attire. "I think I learned something from all your screaming." He said, once I'd stood up. "You're the crazy sex screamer I've heard about." He said with a wink and I rolled my eyes, following after him.

Once we'd gotten to school, my eyes searched every face and looked for the one I treasured above all. I finally saw him, Sora, and he looked as tired as I felt. "Hey, Sora." I said casually, when we passed each other. He managed a small smile but something was harboring behind those intense eyes…"Hey Roxas." He said in turn, then we were gone our separate ways….no matter how much my heart fought to run back to him.

School was long, tedious, boring and made me wonder how I'd ever survived before today. Sora…something was wrong. Did something happen while I was gone? Was he angry that I needed air and left for the night? Did he just not get enough sleep?

Finally, Health rolled along…my favorite class of the day. I openly stared at Sora now, contemplating each look that crossed his face and the weird look in his eyes never seemed to fade…

"Sora!" I called, running after my brother once the bell had rang. He had taken off, looking around himself like he didn't know what to do. "Roxas, I have to get home." He said quickly, but I took his hand and pulled him around. "Sora, we can go together." I said brightly, reflecting on the fact that I was touching him.

Then it happened.

All his emotions came rushing into me…anger…irritation…worry…sorrow…need…lust…and exhaustion…

I yanked my hand back, but he looked as shocked as I did. He stared at me with shocked eyes, something flickering behind them.

"Roxas, I'm going to my home not yours." He snapped bitterly, but he sounded more frightened than angry which only left me more confused. But I couldn't shake off the hurt I felt when he had said it that way and mumbled, "Oh, alright then." I said and turned around, walking away from him.

Sora…what have you done to me?

I got home and immediately worked on my homework, then took a shower. I didn't go down to dinner, I didn't do anything, I just sat there and waited for Sora to return. It took so long…eventually my lids felt heavy and dreams wrapped their outstretched darkness around my head…

"Roxas…keep up with me." A voice said, and my legs were pumping hard to run along with the boy in front of me. The bag of money in my hands felt extremely heavy but I kept on going, the light of the sun falling down into sunset. We were being cast in darkness but we couldn't escape the sound of sirens that echoed in my head and everywhere we went.

"Tommy, we need to get out of here." I said between breaths, trying to catch my breath. The scent of sunflowers was coming from the field in front of us and the heat of late summer caused more moisture on our skin than was comfortable.

"Fuck this, give me the money. We need to get out of here." He said, looking around quickly then took of running. I ran after him angrily. "Tommy, you get the fuck back here! You are not leaving me out of this! Tommy!" I yelled after him as we ran hard and fast through the sunflowers. The sirens were getting closer…closer…

He got too far ahead and eventually I tripped, falling to the ground and suddenly an arm caught me. "You're under arrest." A voice said and I let my head bow down in defeat.

When my eyes opened, I was in a dark room and Sora was right across from me. "R-roxas? Please…help me…we have to get out of here…" He whimpered but no matter how I moved I couldn't seem to get away from whatever held me back from him.
"Sora! Sora! Sora!" I screamed over and over again until a bright light was shining into my eyes, a voice reaching my ears.

"Roxas…I'm right here…" Sora said softly into my ear, and when the light was gone we were sitting in a beautiful meadow. "Sora…" I mumbled, and felt myself being shaken.

"Sora?" I asked and I suddenly woke up to have Sora cuddled next to me, his voice whispering sweet nothings in my ear. "I'm awake now." I whispered softly, but was only greeted by the sniffles of him crying.

"Sora, are you okay?" I asked him softly, turning to face him. He shook his head and his crying got worse, turning into sobs but all I could do was wrap my arms around him in a tender hug. I held him until his crying ceased, but even then his sniffles made me feel terrible.

"Well…at least Axel's not here. He's..uh…bent on banging Kairi." I blurted out, nervous because I had no idea what to say. Sora looked at me for a moment and started laughing really hard, leaving me to stare at him. "Uh…ehehehe…" I laughed a little nervously. Eventually he stopped laughing and took my hand.

"Thanks, Roxas. That made me feel better." Omigod…he's touching me. He's so sweet, how on earth could he even think about being friends with a guy like me?

For some reason, his eyes softened like he knew what I was thinking but it only left me confused. Somehow he always left me confused…but I could feel everything he was pouring into me. Which seemed to confuse him, because he looked at me with a cute tilt of his head.

He was feeling sad…hopeless…angry…but somewhere in there was a hint of happiness like he was happy about something but it was hidden deep down.

These are the days
That I won't get back
I won't hear you cry
Or hear you laugh
And when it's quiet
And I don't hear a thing
I can always hear you breathe

Eventually, we fell asleep right there…holding hands…

"Roxy, do you ever miss me the way I miss you?" A cute little voice asked, and when I turned my head…I realized we were in the meadow again only this time Sora was a cute little boy laying with his head on my tummy.

"Sora…I've missed you since I lost you." I mumbled softly, playing with a lock of his hair. We didn't say anything for awhile and all I could hear was the sound of his soft breathing.

"I can hear your heart." He said with a giggle, and suddenly he began to grow and he was my Sora. I felt bigger too, and it felt right with him there with me. "Sora…it belongs to you." I said softly in a whisper but he seemed to hear me.

"Roxy, I'm always here with you. Don't forget that, and…my heart belongs to you too." He said sweetly, leaning up and connecting our lips. It was the best kiss I'd ever gotten, and when my eyes opened to the morning sun…I wanted to believe it was true.

But Sora was still sleeping next to me, and the clock read 10. School! I jumped up but then slapped myself. It was Saturday, duh. I got back in my bed and rolled over to look down at Sora's peaceful face, he was so beautiful.

I reached down and barely caressed his cheek, his eyes fluttered open and I pulled my hand away. I smiled goofily, and waved at him. "Mornin' sleepyhead." I said cheerfully, he looked sad still but at least my greeting had brought about a smile. I wondered why he was sad…why did he feel that way?

"I can't go home." He told me angrily, answering my unspoken question. "Why?" I asked hesitantly but he was ready with the answer, "Your foster parents won't let me go home and my parents said that they're okay with that…" He said sadly.

I put an arm over his shoulder and gave him a goofy grin. "Don't worry sorry, when you close your eyes everything will be okay. Trust me. No matter how bad it gets, things can only get better." I told him sincerely and he gazed up into my eyes.

"Thanks, Roxas." He said and I looked deep into those eyes, leaning forward and…the door opened. We leapt apart like there was fire in between us. "Hey kids! Up and at 'em!" She said with a smile, then motioned towards the stairs. "Breakfast is ready."

We looked at each other for a moment, then Sora headed down after her and I stayed and watched him go. At least we could be together in my dreams.

Sora…

You know there's nowhere else
I've wanted to be
Than be there when you needed me
I'm sorry too
But don't give up on me
And just remember that when you were asleep
I got a little bit closer to you