Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer. I do not own Twilight.
Chapter Three
On the way back home, I thought about his kisses.
He was so gentle when he kissed me. It made me feel treasured. The nice thing about kissing Jake, though, was I knew I could lose control with him. I wouldn't have to hold anything back when I was with him.
I wondered what it would be like to really kiss him. Full on, mouth open, tongue seeking, raw and animalistic kissing. A little thrill went through me at the thought.
I was confused. I knew I still loved him, but I had to admit, I liked kissing Jake. And spending time with Jake. And having Jake hold me.
Did that mean I was in love with him, too?
I wasn't sure. I thought about the way he had made me feel and the way Jake made me feel. It wasn't so different, but I was different with them. With him, I was always on my guard. I had to be careful not to push him too far. He could never lose control with me around because he could end up killing me. With Jake, I was free to lose complete control and he'd be right there with me. He followed my lead, letting me make the decisions.
By the time I pulled into the driveway, I hadn't made much headway.
Charlie was home, so I pushed all those thoughts to the back of my head as I walked through the door.
"Hey, Bells," Charlie called from his chair in front of the TV.
"Hey, Dad. I, um, invited Jake and Billy over for dinner," I said, heading towards the kitchen.
"How is Jake?" Charlie asked.
"Good," I answered, pulling out the stuff to make chicken enchiladas.
Charlie fell silent after that and I wrapped myself up in making dinner. I didn't want to think about Jake's kisses and all they promised. It was too difficult.
So, instead, I thought about my dream from last night. It had been strangely realistic. I could still remember the sound of flesh being torn apart as the battle was raged. I shivered at the thought. The Cullen's had been in the dream, but there were other golden-eyed vampires. And then the red-eyed vampires. They had been scary, standing in strict lines with three of them obviously leading.
I wasn't sure what it meant, but I knew it couldn't be good.
Then there was how I ended up in the field. I seriously had no idea about that. I'd never slept-walked before in my life. But, how else did I explain it? Frowning slightly, I lifted my bare feet and looked at the soles. Sure enough, there were a few scrape marks that I hadn't noticed. When I touched them, gently, they all but vanished.
What the heck?!?
Wide-eyed, I went back to making dinner, deciding to wait and talk to Jake about it later.
I had just finished with the rice when the front door opened and Jake rolled Billy thought. Jake immediately sought me out, smiling when his eyes found me in the kitchen.
"Billy, you old geezer! What the hell have you been feeding that boy of yours?" Charlie called as Billy wheeled into the living room.
I missed Billy's response, but Charlie laughed loudly.
"Hey," Jake murmured, coming close.
"Hi," I smiled, turning back to the stove.
"What's for dinner?" Jake asked, sniffing the air appreciatively.
"Enchiladas," I answered.
"Smells good."
"Thanks."
A heavy silence fell over us. It was highly uncomfortable and I had no idea how to dispel it.
Jake leaned against the counter, arms folded across his chest, and watched me. I shifted slightly under his gaze, uneasy with the close inspection.
He sighed heavily and dropped his arms.
"What happened, Bella?" he asked.
His voice was so forlorn, I glanced up at him. He was staring down at the floor, his shoulders slumped. I felt a little piece of my on-the-mend heart break again watching him.
"Jake, it's nothing to do with you. I'm just… confused," I finished lamely.
"Bout what?" Jake frowned.
"This. Us. I don't know if I can do this. How can I feel this way about you when I still love him? And I do love him, Jake. Even after all this, I still love him," I sobbed, tears coming to my eyes.
Jake took me in his arms and rocked me gently. He made soft shushing noises into my hair, trying to calm me down. It wasn't nearly as bad as earlier, though. Only a few tears escaped and I wasn't crying out in pain.
"Shh, honey. I know, okay. I'm not going to push you. We just take this one day at a time. Besides, we're still us. Just Jake and Bells, best friends," Jake assured me.
I took a deep breath, allowing his voice and scent to sooth me. Jake could always take the bad thoughts away. All it took was one smile, one laugh, one word and I was smiling, laughing, and talking with him. It felt good to be held so firmly and yet still tenderly in his arms. It was something I'd never experienced before.
Eventually, I had to pull away and continue cooking. Jake stayed leaning against the counter, watching me.
"I need to talk to you," Jake said suddenly.
"Now?" I asked, moving to pull the enchiladas out of the oven.
Jake shook his head.
"It can wait till after dinner."
I frowned at him, but he just shook his head again. A second later, Charlie came into the kitchen, Billy right behind him.
"Smells good, Bells," Charlie grinned, sitting at the table.
I smiled back as Billy and Jacob sat as well. I placed the pan right in the middle before going back to get the rice. As I placed the pot down, I saw the enchiladas were already gone.
"I guess you guys were hungry," I said, taking my seat.
I noticed one of them had placed an enchilada on my plate and smiled. They were silent as they inhaled their food, grunting in approval occasionally.
Ignoring my own plate, I watched them. Jake ate as if this were his first meal in weeks, shoveling it in at a fast pace. Billy and Charlie were a little slower, but not by much. I figured it must be a guy thing. I'd never seen a girl eat like that. It was kind of disgusting, really.
Jake shot me a questioning look as he reached for more rice. I just smiled back at him and began eating my own dinner. By the time I was finished, Billy and Charlie had moved back into the living room and Jake was leaning back in his chair, patting his stomach.
"That was really good, Bells," he sighed.
"Glad you enjoyed it. You better watch yourself, though. Too many more meals like that and you'll be too fat to fit through the front door," I teased, picking up the dirty dishes.
"Ha-ha. Werewolf metabolism, remember? We have to eat more because our temperatures are so much higher," Jake reminded me.
"Riiiiight," I nodded, frowning into the sink.
I heard his chair scrape against the floor as he got up from the table. He appeared beside me a moment later, dish towel in hand.
"You wash, I'll dry," he offered.
I smiled my thanks and handed him the first plate. We worked in silence for a while, enjoying the peace that could only be found with each other. Charlie and Billy were in the other room, yelling at the players on the screen as if they could hear them. My smile grew at the normalcy of it all.
"What's so funny?" Jake asked, smiling himself.
"Nothing. It's just nice, you know? Everything being normal for a change," I sighed happily.
Jake's smile faded slowly and his sigh was much heavier than my own.
"Once we finish these dishes, will you take a walk with me?" Jake asked.
Suddenly nervous, I could only nod.
I slowed down the washing, trying to delay the talk that was sure to come as soon as we stepped outside the front door. I wasn't sure what Jake wanted to talk about, but it was obvious from his demeanor that it wasn't going to be anything good. My mind began running through anything that could have happened within the past few hours since I'd left him at La Push.
I couldn't delay the walk any longer as he dried up the last of the dishes. We walked to the front door, calling out to our dads as we left. They barely grunted in response. Jake took my hand as soon as we stepped outside, leading me down the front steps and into the woods.
My heart started going double time. This scene felt way too familiar.
Jake noticed my heart speed up and gave my hand a quick squeeze, no doubt meant to reassure me. I sucked in a huge breath before letting it out, forcing my body to relax. Jake wasn't going to leave me. There was no reason for him to. Unless…
"Jake!" I gasped, stopping completely.
He jerked around to face me, worried. His hand immediately went to my frozen face, cupping it gently. I knew I looked scared out of my mind and I was. He couldn't have, though. Not in less than three hours. Could he?
Oh, God.
"Bells, honey, talk to me," Jake pleaded, stroking my cheek with his rough thumb.
"Jake, you haven't imprinted, have you?" I asked desperately.
He instantly relaxed, huffing out a breath.
"No, Bells. That's not it."
My tense body collapsed against his chest as his arms went around me. I was shaking slightly from my momentary bout of fear. One of his hands cradled my head, holding it against his chest, while the other ran soothing circles on my back.
"You okay?" he asked, placing a kiss on top of my head.
I nodded against him, still too relieved to speak.
"Can we keep going, then?"
I nodded again, pulling away. He took my hand back in his and we set off. I had no idea where we were heading, but Jake seemed to know his way around. I was surprised to find that I wasn't having any trouble keeping up with him in the dark. Normally, I would have fallen by now at least once, but I hadn't so much as stumbled. It was an odd feeling, one I wasn't quite sure I disliked.
Jake came to a stop in the middle of a clearing. He took me over and sat me down on a fallen tree before pacing in front of me. I watched him warily, unsure of what was going to happen.
He stopped and turned to face me, frowning.
"Bella, you shouldn't know about me being a werewolf."
Okay, not what I was expecting.
"What do you mean? You don't want me to know?" I asked, confused.
"No, it's not that. It's just… I shouldn't have been able to tell you. The only people we're allowed to tell are our imprints and our families. You're neither, but I could tell you," Jake said, running his fingers through his short hair.
"I don't understand," I admitted.
"Sam gave an Alpha command. We can't tell anyone outside of our families and our imprints about the pack. We can't have the wrong people finding out about us. When Sam gives an Alpha command, we can't break it. We are bound by the pack ties to obey him. But I told you. Sam is worried about that.
"I'm supposed to be Alpha. My bloodline says so. My great-grandfather was the first Alpha, so it should fall to me. I don't want it though. Sam thinks that since I could break his hold to tell you, he won't be able to command me. It's dangerous. We're very territorial and he's worried I might try to fight him one day to take over as Alpha.
"The thing is, I had to obey his commands before. He told me I couldn't see you, so I didn't. I tried, but I couldn't break his hold. I'd spend hours just staring at the phone, trying to break his hold so I could call you, but I couldn't. That leads us to believe it has something to do with you. Sam wants to run a few tests, just to make sure.
"I'm hoping once he does, he'll realize I don't want to take his place. He's a good Alpha and I'm not ready for the responsibility. I didn't even want this to begin with," Jake finished, staring at the ground.
I stared at him, reeling from the information. Something was always wrong with me. First, he couldn't read my mind. Now, Jake was breaking Sam's hold on him because of me. What's next?
"Then, on top of all of this, we just found out that two more will be joining our pack," Jake exclaimed roughly.
This caught my attention.
"Who?" I asked, shocked.
"Seth and Leah Clearwater," Jake answered.
Harry's kids. Charlie went fishing with him a lot. I remembered something about his fish fry being Charlie's favorite, but I couldn't put a face to the name.
Something started tickling the back of my mind. I focused on the thought, trying to figure out what it was. Something I had decided earlier. Seeing someone.
"What about Quil?" I asked when the thought process was complete.
Jake winced slightly and looked up at me sadly.
"He phased today. Sam just told me before I came over here," he mumbled.
I knew Jake was unhappy about that. He wouldn't wish this life on anybody. Especially his friend.
"Come here," I ordered softly, opening my arms for him.
He allowed me to pull him into my embrace and comfort him. He rested his head on my shoulder and started to breath heavily. His arms branded around me, keeping me close. I made soothing sounds and rubbed his back, hoping it helped in some way.
"It shouldn't still be happening. It should have stopped," Jake huffed.
I didn't say anything, just continued to hold him. He suddenly ripped himself away from me and started pacing. His arms were trembling and he was growling softly. I leaned away from him a little, worried about what was happening.
"Why is this still happening?" Jake roared at the sky.
He was shaking violently now, unable to control himself. He glared over at me.
"Get away, Bella," he ordered, backing away from me himself.
I scrambled off the tree and moved through the woods. I was close enough that he could still see me, but far enough away that he wouldn't hurt me. An image of Emily's face flashed before my eyes and I shrank further into the trees.
Jake suddenly let out a loud howl and his body erupted, changing right before my eyes into the russet wolf I had seen in the field last night. When he fell on all fours, his eyes zeroed in on mine. We stared at each other for a long time before I moved towards him. My steps were slow, hesitant of setting him off.
When I was about a foot away, I reached out my hand to him. He sniffed it, pushing his cold, wet nose into my skin, before giving it a thorough lick.
"Ew, Jake!" I shrieked, slapping at him.
He barked out a laugh and danced out of my reach. I laughed with him and tried to chase after him. He was, of course, much faster than I was, but he stayed close by and even let me catch him a few times.
I was running behind him, laughing, when he suddenly stopped. Unable to stop as quickly as he did, I ran right into his back leg. The force of impact knocked the breath out of me and I fell to the ground with a soft thump.
Jake moved to stand over me, growling. His eyes darted around the edge of the trees, searching for something I couldn't see or hear. Scared, I grabbed hold of the paw closest to my head. Jake lowered his body a little in response.
"What is it?" I asked softly.
Of course, he didn't answer, just continued watching the trees around us. I moved to sit up, my head just barely brushing his chest. He lowered his head so it was level with his shoulders so he was closer to me. I wrapped myself around his right front leg, hugging it to my chest.
Jake whined softly and let out a bark. A moment later, a chocolate brown wolf trotted out from between two trees. The wolf walked over to us before sitting down about a foot away and wagged his tail. Jake huffed and sat as well, pulling me along with him since I was still wrapped tightly around his leg.
I looked between the two, trying to figure out what was going on. I figured this was one of the guys from the pack. There was no way Jake would put me in danger of a real wolf. I just wasn't sure who it was.
"What's going on?" I asked, frowning at Jake.
He just panted lightly in response. I turned to the other wolf.
"Well, can you talk to me?"
The brown wolf let it's tongue loll out and gave me a goofy grin. Jake growled menacingly, but I couldn't help but laugh. The brown wolf yipped lightly, standing up. Jake followed suit, pulling his paw out of my grasp. He moved to stand beside me before lowering himself onto the ground. With a tilt of his head, he indicated for me to climb on.
"Can't I just walk?" I pleaded.
Jake gave me a look that clearly said 'shut up and get on'. I huffed out a breath and climbed onto his back. He stood up quickly causing me to grab onto his fur. He barked out a laugh as he and the other wolf took off through the forest. I buried my face into his fur as we sped past the trees.
He came to a stop towards the edge of the tree line. I slid off his back and onto the ground. Jake nudged me forward with his nose. I turned and frowned at him.
"Aren't you coming?" I asked.
Jake shook his head once.
"Will you at least call me later?" I sighed, petting his fur.
He groaned slightly and lowered his chin to my shoulder, wrapping one front leg around me for a hug. I smiled and nuzzled into his warmth. He gently nipped at my shoulder, pulling the fabric of my shirt slightly. I laughed lightly and pushed him away.
"See you tomorrow?" I asked with a small smile.
Jake barked softly in response.
"Bye, Jake. Bye… um…" I trailed off, looking at the brown wolf.
The two of them gave barking laughs before turning away and disappearing into the woods.
Still smiling, I walked up and into the house feeling lighter than usual.
The next day, I found myself sitting in Sam and Emily's living room as Sam ran various tests to see why Jake had been able to break the Alpha command. We started out with simple stuff. Sam would give a command to Jake; Jake would easily break it. Sam became concerned when he tested the others in the same manner and found they were able to break the command as well.
"I just don't understand," Sam murmured, staring off into space.
"Do you think you're losing your power as Alpha?" Jared asked.
"I don't think it's Sam. I think it's Bella," Quil piped up.
We all turned to look at him.
"What makes you say that?" Jake asked, trying to keep the worry out of his voice.
"Well, no one breaks the command until she says something," Quil shrugged.
Sam stared at me for a long time and I shifted around under his gaze.
"Emily! Come here for a second," Sam called, never taking his eyes off me.
Emily appeared in the doorway a moment later.
"What is it?" she asked.
"We're going to try something different. This time, you're going to try and get them to break the command," Sam said.
I bit my lip nervously as Sam called Jared to stand in the center of the room. He ran through similar commands as when they had been testing me. Sam commanded Jared to jump; Emily tried to tell him to stop. We were all relieved to discover that Emily could not break the command.
"So, it is just me?" I asked.
"It would appear so. I'm going to talk to the Elders about this. Maybe they can shed some light on this," Sam sighed, leaning back in his chair.
Emily patted his hand in comfort and he took hers in his own before raising it to his lips. The absolute love and adoration between them was hard to watch. I tried to focus on Jacob instead.
He was sitting beside me on the love seat, his arm draped across the back. I watched him laugh at something Quil said. He was mesmerizing.
"Bella?"
I turned to see Sam watching me intently.
"I want you to come tonight. The Elders may have a few questions for you," Sam said.
I felt Jake tense beside me and heard the slight growl in his voice.
"I don't want her going, Sam."
"It's not up to you, Jacob. It's up to me. She needs to be there. Plus, it'll save us all a re-telling," Sam sighed, rubbing his face tiredly.
Jake opened his mouth to say something else, but I grabbed his hand in both my own.
"It's okay. I don't mind going," I assured them.
Jake frowned at me, clearly upset that I agreed to go. I didn't see what the big deal was. It wasn't like they were going to tie me up to a pole and burn me at the stake or something if they didn't like what they found out.
Right?
"Erm… Sam? What happens if they think I'm a threat?" I asked slowly, unsure if I wanted to hear the answer.
Jake actually let out a fierce snarl at my question and I jumped back from him.
"Jacob! Calm down!" Sam ordered, standing up.
I sat there with my mouth jammed shut so Jake had no hopes of breaking Sam's Alpha command. Jake's shaking slowed down and he took in deep breaths, his eyes shut. After he was calm, he looked at me apologetically.
I gave him a smile and scooted closer, taking his hand again. He squeezed it briefly.
"So, what'll happen?" I asked, determined now to hear the answer.
"The worst they can do is ban you from the reservation, but I highly doubt it will come to that," Sam assured me.
I wondered if he was being entirely truthful. What he said didn't exactly match up with Jake's reaction. I looked at Sam doubtfully for a minute and then looked at Jake. He was glaring daggers at Sam, obviously mad about something.
"Is there something you aren't telling me?" I frowned at Sam.
For a second, I thought he was just going to sit there and ignore my question.
"If they ban you, we will be forced to keep watch on you. If at any time we feel you are endangering us by revealing our secrets or assisting our enemy, we will be forced to take you out," Sam blurted out.
I stared at him, wide eyed. He looked equally shocked. It was suddenly very quiet in the house, everyone looking at us in absolute astonishment.
Jake was the first one to move. He jumped up from his seat beside me to stand in between Sam and I.
"WHAT THE HELL, SAM?" Jake shouted, his hands fisted at his sides.
"I-I don't know what just happened. I wasn't going to tell her that," Sam insisted, looking up at Jake with wide eyes.
Jake just snarled in response, obviously furious. Before he did something stupid, like attack Sam, I stood up beside him, wrapping my arms around his trembling form.
"Bella, get away from him. He's not safe right now," Sam declared, moving to stand up.
Jake loud out a feral growl in response and Sam froze.
I ignored them both, keeping my arms wrapped around Jake's torso. I buried my head into his arm, taking deep breaths. Gradually, Jake stopped shaking and was breathing with me. He moved his arm out from under my head and wrapped it around my waist. He bent over and placed a kiss on the top of my head, sighing deeply.
"Alright. When are we going?" Jake asked Sam.
Sam gave him a serious look, assessing him.
"I think it would be best if you stayed away from the meeting, Jake," he finally said.
"Not on your life," Jake murmured, still resting his head on mine.
Sam frowned, obviously disturbed about something.
"She's affecting you. Are you sure you haven't imprinted on her?" Sam asked.
Jake's relaxed muscles instantly turned to stone beneath my hands.
"I'm sure," Jake barely whispered.
Sam nodded once, realizing it was a difficult subject.
"The best thing we can do is just wait until tonight for you to talk to the Elders. Until then, we should all just relax," Emily insisted, standing up from her place beside Sam. "Come on, Bella. Why don't you and I go make these boys something to eat. No doubt they're starving."
I couldn't help but laugh at the hopeful expressions on all their faces. Emily gave me a little smile with an eye roll. I slowly pulled away from Jake and followed her into the kitchen. I glanced back once to see Jake watching me with a small smile playing about his lips. I returned it before going to help Emily cook.
You guys are so awesome!! The reviews have been absolutely AMAZING!! Thanks everybody!!
Alright, that's it for this chapter. It's a little shorter than the others and I'm not happy about that, but I had to stop here. Next chapter will be the meeting with the Elders. What do you guys think? Should the next chapter be in Jake's point of view or Bella's?
Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far!!