Archways and Endings
A/N: You guys rock my socks! What would I do without you? Who knows what? I do know that I've been incredibly sad because it's been confirmed that Chad and Hilarie have left. I know that some of you guys are Brucas and hate Peyton, but I LOVE Peyton, she and Luke just had a baby, what the hell does that mean for the show? I blame CMM because from what I understand he can be a big ass, and he like demanded more money or decided that he wanted to make more movies and go and bite the hand the feeds him. They gave Chad so much creative opportunity this season, he wrote and directed an episode. Hilarie or Sophia didn't get either opportunity, James and Joy got to direct. A lot of TV actors do that and I've never understood that, for Christ's sake, the Friends cast was making a million dollars for episode, and that's because the show was soooo popular and because they'd been on the air for ten years, Chad you aren't that famous, you're sexy as hell, but god your EGO! So basically Julian is staying as a permanent character (yay Brooke gets to be happy) and they are bringing three new characters on(Source is Wikipedia), one I hear is Haley's older sister Quinn, Clayton, Nathan's new agent, and some girl named Alexis as the new face of Clothes over Bros. I'm hearing their might be a time jump and Peyton and Sawyer may be a part of the show to some extent, Lucas will NOT. I've heard rumors that their will be a divorce, which doesn't make me happy either. Either way the time jump doesn't make much sense either considering that Jackson (Jamie) was one of the first people to sign a contract for Season 7 as well as Bethany Joy. Makes me wonder…. Will I watch? Yes, because I wonder what Mark would have dreamed up that makes Peyton and Sawyer around without Lucas, and with out crushing the world he took six years to create. And then I wonder what he's going to do in general, everyone ended Season six happy, but with a mystery wrapped around it, which was a cliff hanger all on it's own. Sorry for this crazy rambley note that probably makes no sense.
This is a few days late, because I've been super stressed, and this chapter didn't want to come. But I pushed it:)
-Kelsey
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Five: Violins Make No Sound
June 12, 2016
Tree Hill, North Carolina
Paige
I saw her with him. Then I began to wonder how she expects anything thing to get better, how she expects my father to change if she does this. A part of me wants to hate her for ruining our family, but everything is so screwed up as it is, and it's not like this hasn't happened before. Sometimes my life seems so fake to me until I remember how real it is. How right now this very second I'm breathing, my heart is beating, and I'm alive, even though I feel so low, even though I feel so dead. I was just going out with Emily to get coffee, and now I wished I'd never walked into the café at all, because I got to witness my mother in the company of another man, for the second time.
The first time, I was so little, I can barely remember. My father was out of town; he was coaching, and had himself semi-together. It seems that the moments when things are almost right, almost put together, my mother decides to add her own outrageous spin on a situation. She decides to cheat. No matter how hard I've tried to relate or understand to this fact, it never comes out just right, and in the end I put the blame on myself. Perhaps if I never born, perhaps if I would have put such a demand on my mother and father, they'd be happy, and they wouldn't stray. But that's not what happened and nothing is ever going to change that.
I remember being sent to bed early, early enough that the sun was just peaking over the horizon, slowing falling into a black abyss. I cried and complained, and begged my mother to let me stay up just a little later.
"Tomorrow, Paige." She whispered. "Tomorrow, I promise," and with that she kissed the crown of my head, turned off the light, and left the room. As I lay awake in my bed, I heard the front door of our apartment open. The walls were as thin as paper, sounds traveled so fast through every room, and that's' when I heard a man's voice, a man that was not my father.
"Hey Brooke," I sat up straight in bed. The voice wasn't familiar; it didn't remind me of anything. But even at four and a half, I had to know something was very wrong, because I tipped toed out of my snug Cinderella sheets, and stood in front of my bedroom door, crouched on the floor.
"Well hey there mister," She said, which I know understand to be a "flirty" voice.
You always know the sound of lips meeting, it doesn't matter where you are, if the place is crowded, or completely empty because the sound makes everything silent, until the finally smack, the tail end of it. That sound I had only ever heard, when my father came home from work, and kissed my mother. And I knew exactly what it was.
So when I heard my mother and this "person" do that, I didn't know what to do. What to think.
"Where's your daughter?" The voice asked.
"Asleep, I put her in bed about half hour ago."
"So there isn't a problem with me doing this," And the sound of them kissing filled my ears like static, loud, sharp, and confusing.
It was then; I climbed back into my bed, pressed my eyes closed, and went to bed. Never speaking a word about it, never wanting to know anything either. I knew that at four and a half, just like I know it now, I shouldn't have seen anything, I wasn't supposed to.
When I woke up early that morning, the man was tip-toeing out the door, I saw him. He smiled at me, and closed the door quickly behind him. And for the past almost ten years, I've put that incident out of my mind, until now.
It's funny how the past sneaks up on you, no warning; it's just in your face, begging to see the light of day again. Everyone is struggling, and fighting, and screaming, and then all of the sudden you're reminded of something, and it makes you so upset. It really hurts. This memory kills me, I hate remembering it.
My father had his affairs too, so if I judged my mom, well that'd probably be a little hypocritical. I've never judged my father, and I can't tell you why. It's all a little backwards, and my family's dysfunction continues on a daily basis. But it's how it is and it'll probably always be that way. I always expected so much more from my mom then my dad. She's been the one who's been there for me; she's the one who's supposed to be perfect.
I sit in my bedroom, now. The iced-coffee I'd gotten from the café sits on my dresser, untouched. The sweat is melting into the woodwork, which I'll probably get yelled at for later. But I want something to be ruined. My heart feels that way. Why shouldn't this hundred year old dresser feel it too?
I know for a fact, she won't come home after me. She will not run into the house, badgering me to not say a word; she won't lie and make up some insane story to try to make me believe her and cover up her actions. No, she'll just come home at six like she does every night. And we'll both pretend that she wasn't in that coffee shop, and that I never saw her with the mystery brunette. We'll sit at dinner in silence. We won't talk about her, or my father's drinking, or all the bad things we try to run away from. We'll just pretend that everything is as it should be. And the silence will take over the sound.
-TBC-
Short and of course not the best thing ever. Are you pissed at Brooke? Yeah I have a feeling you are going to be even more pissed at other characters pretty soon. Just try to remember, they're human, they fuck up. Comments please.
-Kelsey