Part Six
"Didn't you?"
Max looks away from me and leans his head back against the headboard. He seems to be struggling with something and I almost ask him straight out why he's having such a hard time admitting to something that I know he's done. I open my mouth to say something, but he speaks first.
"No, Liz. I didn't," he says quietly.
What? "You…didn't," I repeat.
He shakes his head, a slight movement, "I didn't sleep with any of them. I'm…I'm a virgin, Liz." He closes his eyes as he finishes, as if it's too embarrassing for him to admit face to face.
I feel my mouth opening and closing repeatedly, but no sound comes out. Max is a virgin? My entire world has just been thrown off balance. Everything that made sense in my life before this moment is now completely foreign to me.
How is it that Max Evans and I have been best friends for so long and it turns out that we don't even know each other? At least, not where it counts. All those deeply buried thoughts and feelings that two people who are as close as we are supposed to be, should share; we didn't share with each other.
Suddenly I feel like the world's worst friend. I know I just told Max that there were some things that men and women just didn't talk about, but come on! I feel like the entire picture I had of Max in my head is now completely wrong. It feels like I've never really known him and I wonder if maybe, right this moment, Max is having similar thoughts about me.
"Y – You're…" I can't get anything more out and when I don't continue, Max looks at me, trepidation visible in his eyes. He nods sombrely. "But…Why?" I blurt out, unthinking, but then I realise how it sounds and backtrack quickly. "I mean, you're eighteen, you're a guy, you've had a string of gorgeous girlfriends, none of which have lasted more than a month; I guess I'm just a little shocked, that's all."
"I…I just…" he lets out a huge sigh. "God! This is hard. I never expected to ever have this conversation with you, Parker."
As eager as I am to hear his answer, I have to take a moment to revel in the feeling that his informal use of my surname gives me. It's almost playful and it reminds me how close we are. How easily we can usually talk to each other and how comfortable we always have been in each other's presence.
I reach over and touch his arm, just below the elbow. "Hey, Evans," I stress, teasingly, before turning serious. "You know you can talk to me, I'm not gonna judge you, or laugh at you. I promise."
He stares at me thoughtfully, "I know."
When he doesn't continue, I lower my head slightly and raise my eyebrows expectantly.
He looks down and I see his eyes linger on my hand still resting on his lower arm. I lift it off him and his gaze lowers to his hands. "This is probably going to sound kinda pathetic and not very masculine, but I've always believed that you should be in love with the person you decide to sleep with," he says and a wave of shame washes over me, because up until a couple of years ago, that's what I'd believed too. It's funny how life doesn't always turn out the way you expect. "Sure, I could have easily pushed that belief aside and had sex with the girls I went out with, but that's not me, Liz," he looks up at me again then. "I wouldn't have felt comfortable being that close to them physically, when I wasn't close to them mentally and emotionally," he admits. "I know that makes me sound like a complete girl, but I can't help the way I feel. And it's not like I'm saving myself for marriage or anything, I'm just waiting for the right girl."
Wow. I think that's the most he's opened up to me about his personal thoughts and feelings, ever. My heart clenches in my chest as I realise how hard it must have been to confide all that in me. "Max," I start, but further words fail me.
I can see a flush starting to rise from his neck, up into his cheeks and he looks away again, "Don't, Liz, don't say anything, I don't think I could handle it."
"No, Max, that's not what – " I place my hand on his shoulder and his head turns towards me once again. His gaze lingers briefly on my hand before it reaches my face. "It's not stupid, or girly or anything like that. I actually admire you," I tell him and his expression turns sceptical. I shake my head, "No, I mean it. Unlike me, you didn't give in to peer pressure and the teenage desire to grow up quickly; you've stuck to your beliefs and I admire that."
His expression becomes incredulous and I can tell that he's relieved. I smile at him gently, before making a swift decision and wrapping my arms around him in a hug. At his lack of response, I realise that he's surprised, but it only takes a second for his body to relax and I feel his arms come around me, his chin resting against my shoulder.
"Thank you, Liz," he whispers close to my ear and I nod.
"No problem, Max," I whisper back and hold him tighter to me.
We sit there like that in silence for a couple of minutes, but then my back starts to ache from being in this position and I groan, so we both pull back and grin at each other.
Max is the first to break the silence, "Boy, am I glad Michael and Alex aren't around right now!" he exclaims, and the horrified expression on his face at the prospect of them finding out about this conversation makes me burst out laughing.
"So," I say when I've calmed down. "Now that's out of the way, what do you say we get started on finding that perfect girl you've been waiting for?"
I was only joking, but his smile fades and his expression turns serious, thoughtful, a far away look in his eyes.
"Hey, Max," I wave my hand in front of his face to get his attention. "What did I say?"
He shakes his head and focuses on me again, "What? Oh nothing. It doesn't matter," he smiles at me and then relaxes back on the bed, concentrating on the TV screen again. He grabs the remote from where I placed it down on the bed and flicks through until he finds a movie that we both like. I settle down next to him to watch it and it's thirty minutes before I realise that he never answered my question. However, I'm too tired to think about it now; I can talk to him about it another time.
Day 20 – Saturday July 13th 2002
After a long day of driving yesterday, we finally made it to San Francisco. True to his word, Max let me drive most of the way, only insisting that we switch when we were an hour or so away from the city, which although I'd never admit it to him, I was glad about, because by that time I was exhausted!
Despite my tiredness from driving for so long, we had a great day yesterday. Ever since our talk on Thursday night, the atmosphere between us has been lighter than ever and all the tension that was present between us just a few days ago has now completely dissipated. We spent the whole day laughing and joking around and Max seemed happier than I've seen him in weeks, or even months, for that matter.
Last night, we checked into a motel on the outskirts of town for some much needed rest (luckily, in separate beds this time) and today we're going to meet up with Isabel at her college. That is, when Max decides to wake up and get his ass out of bed!
You know what? I give up. I'm off to take a shower.
When I come back from my shower, a towel wrapped around me because I stupidly forgot to take any clothes into the bathroom with me, I find Max still asleep on his stomach. The left side of his face is squashed against the pillow and his mouth is open in an unflattering position. His right hand is tucked under his chin at an odd angle and his leg is half off the side of the bed, poking out from under the covers. Usually the sight of him like that would have made me snort and roll my eyes, but for some reason, today I think he looks cute.
With a shiver, I realise that I'm still wearing only a towel and the air conditioning is blasting from the wall beside me. I make my way over to my suitcase and pull out a skirt and top, along with some clean underwear. Not really keen on going all the way back over to the bathroom to change, I take a quick peek at Max, who is still fast asleep and facing away from me and decide to just go for it and get changed right there.
When I'm done, I throw another glance over at the other bed and let out a sigh of relief; Max hasn't moved an inch. A peek at the clock on the table between our beds shows that it's only eight-fifteen, and we're not meeting Isabel until eleven. It doesn't look like Max is going to get up any time soon, so I scribble a short note for him and decide to go for a walk. There's not much to see where we're staying, but the sun is shining and it's a nice, warm day, so I just go for a wander.
I walk for about 20 minutes and end up at this small diner at the side of the road. Knowing that Max will most likely wake up hungry and acknowledging the fact that my stomach is rumbling, I go in and order two take-out breakfasts. When I return to the hotel at nine o'clock, I find Max is finally up and dressed.
"Hey, I'm back," I call. "I brought breakfast."
There's no reply and I look up from balancing the food in my hands to see that he has his nose buried in a book. Wait! That's my book! Oh God, this is embarrassing; he's found the romance novel that I was trying to read without him noticing. I place the breakfast boxes down by the TV and lunge for the book.
"Hey, that's mine, Evans! Give it back," I cry.
He looks up from the page and gives me a mischievous grin, "Is it now? You know what? I don't think I will, it was just getting interesting," he says and begins reciting from it, "she watched hungrily as he pulled the wet T-shirt over his head, a gasp escaping her lips as his washboard stomach came into view. She felt the familiar warmth spread through her stomach, moving lower as he caught her gaze and began walking towards her. Licking her lips in anticipation, she let out a helpless sigh as his head lowered to hers and he kissed her – " I snatch the book from his hands and quickly hide it in my backpack.
"Hey, I was reading that!"
"Not anymore," I grate, my teeth clenched.
Max raises his eyebrows, "Looks like someone might be a little frustrated right now," he quips. "And I'm not just talking about your current mood."
I gasp, offended, "I am not frustrated," I tell him. "And anyway, look who's talking!" I retort, but the moment the words leave my lips, I regret them. I open my mouth to apologise, but he doesn't look offended or upset. He's grinning.
"That's what my hand's for, Parker."
Oh, eww. I so did not need to hear that.
"Max! Oh my God, that's disgusting! I did not need to know that," I exclaim, but he's just sitting there smugly, his arms crossed over his chest and a thought occurs to me. "Oh God, you haven't…while we've been living in the same motel room, have you?"
He smirks and I realise he's enjoying my discomfort. "And what if I have?" I make a face at him, although I'm mortified to admit that a small part of me is aroused by the thought of him – my God! I am a disgusting person!
"Oh, relax, Lizzie!" he rolls his eyes at me. "I haven't done anything, okay?" he starts laughing, "But that look on your face when I said it…"
"Okay, okay! So this is 'let's all embarrass Liz' day is it? Fine, well now you've done your job," I huff. "So let's eat breakfast and get going, shall we?"
Max just smirks at me and gets off the bed, reaching for the food I brought back with me; tucking in, he lifts an eyebrow in my direction.
"Well, what are you waiting for, Parker? We haven't got all day, you know!"
I roll my eyes again, this time in exasperation and turn to eat my breakfast.
It's eleven-fifteen by the time Max and I find Isabel's residence hall in the middle of the city. Although we've been joking around and making fun of each other all morning and not really thinking about much else, I know that Max is both excited and anxious to see his twin sister again. Before this summer, the longest they'd spent apart from each other was the odd girls- or guys-only camping weekend with their friends and we've been away for almost three weeks now. Honestly, I have no idea how they're both gonna cope, living over a thousand miles from each other for the next four years.
As we leave the jeep and make our way towards the building, Max spots Isabel and another person standing in front of the lobby, waiting for us. He grabs my arm and urges me to keep up.
"C'mon, Liz, I can see her," he says urgently and then frowns slightly. "I wonder who that guy is. The one standing next to her" he says, going into protective brother mode.
I glance over at them, a smile appearing on my face, "Oh, I wouldn't worry about him, Max."
"What?" he looks at me quizzically. Obviously, he hasn't noticed yet.
I shake my head, "Never mind."
As we get closer, he lets out a sound of understanding, "Oh."
"See, I told you, nothing to worry about. It's just Alex."
Wait, did I just say Alex? As in Alex Whitman? What's he doing here?
We finally reach them and Max lets go of me, pulling his sister into a hug. I watch them for a moment before turning to greet our other friend.
"Hey, Alex," I reach up and hug him. "What are you doing here? Not that I mind of course, but this is unexpected."
When I release him, he shrugs awkwardly, glancing at Max and Isabel. "You know, I had a few days off and I was missing Izzy so I called her and she invited me up here to stay with her."
I raise my eyebrows and glance at Isabel, "Stay with her? As in…?" I trail off, unable to voice my thoughts.
But he nods, "Yeah," he says with a dreamy smile and I grin. The boy has it bad! "But don't tell Max, okay? You know how overprotective he can get," he asks, his expression worried.
I shake my head, "Of course. I won't say anything. But if he finds out on his own, you can't blame me, okay?"
"Okay. Deal?" he holds out his hand and I shake it.
"Deal."
He leads me to a nearby bench and we sit.
"So, enough about me. How's your trip going? Where have you been so far? What have you seen? You and Max get it on yet?" he fires the questions quickly and I have trouble keeping up.
"Well, it's been great so far. We've visited – " I stop. "Wait. What did you just say?"
He grins at me. "You and Max. Anything been happening there?"
My mouth drops open in shock and I shove his arm. "Alex! What is the matter with you? Max is my best friend! You know perfectly well that there's nothing like that between us. How could you even suggest something like that?"
But that smirk is still on his face. "Are you sure about that, Liz?" he asks, his gaze fixed somewhere behind me. I turn to see what he's looking at, and my eyes fall on Max and Isabel, now involved in an intense, hushed conversation. My gaze meets Max's and he offers me a small smile before turning back to his sister again. She looks irritated and it looks like she's nagging him about something; I'll have to ask him about that later.
"Liz?" I turn back to Alex again to find him watching me intently. His gaze makes me slightly uncomfortable as I think about what he's just been implying. I feel really self-conscious now, not least because Alex's words have brought up thoughts and feelings that I've been trying to ignore for the past few days.
"Alex," I say with a smile. "Just drop it, okay? Nothing's going on," I tell him, but I'm not sure whether I'm trying to convince him or myself.
I take a quick look in Max and Isabel's direction again. It seems the conversation is over and now Isabel is making her way over to us, Max trailing behind her.
"Liz," she exclaims brightly and pulls me into a hug. "It's so good to see you!"
"You too, Iz." I reply. "How's summer school going?"
"Oh, it's great! I love it here!" she tells me excitedly and loops her arm with mine. "Come on, I'll show you my room."
We head off into the building, leaving Alex and Max to greet each other and follow us when they're ready.
"So, you and Alex, sharing a room; sharing a bed?" I ask with a grin as we step into the elevator.
She returns the grin and sighs. "Yeah…It's great, isn't it?" she says. "I'm so happy right now, Liz."
"I can tell. You two make a great couple, Iz," I tell her. She frowns slightly and opens her mouth to speak, but I beat her to it. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell Max."
She lets out a sigh of relief, "Whew, thank you, Liz. I don't think I'm ready to deal with him knowing just yet."
"Your secret's safe with me," I tell her sincerely as the elevator doors open and we walk down the corridor to her room.
"Well, here we are," she says, opening the door. I step inside and look around. It's really nice, considering it's student accommodation. Isabel has made it feel really homey and it looks lived-in. I walk around, admiring the photos and pictures on her walls, but stop when I hear her gasp behind me.
"Oh, shit."
"What?" I whip round to face her.
"Alex's stuff!" she points to the floor and bed where his clothes and belongings are scattered around. "Max is going to be up here any minute! Liz, you have to help my hide this stuff," she pleads.
"Okay, quick. Let's put it, um…" I look around helplessly.
"The closet!" she exclaims and I nod. We hastily gather up Alex's things and shove them in the cupboard, slamming it closed just as the door opens and the guys step through. Whew! That was close.
Isabel gives Max a quick tour of the room and we settle down on the bed, comfy chair and desk chair to discuss what we're going to do while we're here.
"Okay," Isabel starts. "I thought we could do some sightseeing this afternoon – the Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman's Wharf, etc and then we can go out for dinner this evening. There's this really great Mexican place down the road that we can go to. Their food is to die for!" she exclaims. "Oh, and we'll have to go shopping for something to wear," she muses and I smother a giggle at the mortified look that the guys exchange.
I straighten my face quickly and turn to Isabel, "That sounds like a great idea, Iz. I can't wait!"
She grins proudly, "Okay, just let me grab my purse and we'll get going," she chirps and Max and Alex groan from their positions on the chairs.
We've had a brilliant day, doing the tourist thing around San Francisco, although the hills in this city are not pleasant to walk up! It's fun being with Isabel and Alex again, laughing and joking, as if we'd never left Roswell; although, I think something must be up between Isabel and Max. They keep having these hushed conversations and lagging behind Alex and I. A couple of times, I notice Max getting annoyed with her, shrugging out of her grip and walking quickly to catch up with us. Another time, I look back to check they're still behind us and I find them standing still, their eyes fixed on me…or maybe it was Alex, I'm not sure. Oh God, what if Max has somehow guessed the state of Alex and Isabel's relationship and is pulling the big brother routine again (despite the fact that Isabel is four minutes older than him)? I'm going to have to have that talk with him soon.
However, right now I'm sitting on the bed in Isabel's bedroom, wrapped in a bathrobe, while she does my hair and make-up for dinner. Max and Alex are getting ready back at our motel room and are coming to pick us up in half an hour While it's been nice not having to worry about curling my hair or making sure my mascara isn't smudged these past few weeks, I've missed getting dressed up to go out and I'm savouring every minute of Isabel's pampering treatment.
"Okay, all done!" she exclaims, holding up a mirror for me to admire her handiwork. Wow, I look…great! She's done a brilliant job. My hair is down and curled slightly; it's flowing over my shoulders gracefully and my make-up is…perfect, I look all…sultry…is the only word I can come up with.
"Wow, thanks Isabel. This looks so great!"
"What did I tell you?" she grins. "Okay, now you get into your new dress and I'm gonna finish my hair and make-up."
"You need any help?" I offer, wanting to thank her.
She smiles, "No offence, Liz, but I think I'd better do it myself. Go get changed," she urges.
You'd think I would be offended by her comment, but she's right. I don't know the first thing about applying sexy make-up; I'm much more of a natural-look girl. I reach for my new outfit and release it from the hanger. It really is a gorgeous dress; it's long and silky and a deep shade of dark-blue. I step into it and loop my arms through the thin straps. I can't wear a bra with it because the back is barely there, but that's okay since I don't have much up top anyway. I reach for the strappy sandals that Isabel has lent me for the evening and fasten them around my ankles. Standing up, I walk across the room and stop in front of the full-length mirror fixed to the inside of her closet door.
I smile. I love the way the dress hangs on my body, hugging my torso and waist before flowing down to the floor. Realising I'm missing something, I reach over to the desk and pick up the dangly earrings and matching necklace that Isabel has also lent me. There, I'm ready. Now if only Isabel would hurry up.
Fifteen minutes and one near make-up disaster (involving clumpy mascara and out-of-control lip-liner) later, she's finally ready and there is a knock at the door. Isabel gets up to open it, giving Alex a 'good evening' hug and kiss, before letting both he and Max in. I stand nervously next to the bed; I've never been that comfortable going out in public all dressed up like this, but the moment I set my eyes on Max, my body relaxes. He's wearing a dark suit and tie, his hair neatly teased into place and a grin on his face as he jokes with Alex about how long it takes women to get ready.
But the laughter seems to die in his throat as his eyes lock with mine and the grin disappears briefly before it is replaced by a warm smile that, for some reason, turns my insides to jelly.
"Liz…" I hear him whisper and I wait for him to continue, but nothing else comes. He's still staring at me and I can't find the strength to look away. I don't know what's going on here, but, you know what? Right now, I don't care.
TBC…