Part Twelve
Max is sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands braced on his knees, when I re-enter the room. I think he's realised that I intend for something to happen between us tonight because he looks kind of nervous. I wonder if he knows what I'm planning for him.
I remember just then that when we talked the other day, he didn't mention whether or not a girl had ever…gone down on him, for lack of a better phrase…before. I make a mental note to ask him before I do anything.
"Hey," I say quietly and his head snaps up.
A smile breaks out on his face, "Hey, to you too." He frowns slightly, "You know, it's only been about two minutes since we last saw each other; I don't really think that 'Hey' is all that relevant right now."
I shrug. "I guess you're right. It just felt appropriate somehow," I say as I saunter casually towards him. I have to stop after two steps, however, because that's how far it is from the bathroom door to the bed. Damn these tiny New York hotel rooms.
His legs part and I slip between them, looking down at him. My fingers slide through his soft hair and he raises his head to gaze up at me. He places his hands firmly on my lower back, holding me close to him. I can't resist the smile that plays on his lips and I bend down to kiss him, one hand resting on either side of his head. As the kiss deepens, Max's fingers trace a slow, sensuous path up my spine. He comes to a stop with one hand at the base of my neck and the other splayed across my upper back; I shiver at the feel of his large, warm hand against my skin.
"Max," I gasp as he breaks the kiss and begins to drop feather-light caresses along my jaw line. At first, it feels so good that I can't think straight, but then I manage to come to my senses and push him away.
"What?" he protests as I shake my head. "I thought you wanted – "
"I do, Max," I cut him off. "But this isn't about me tonight, it's about you. I want to give you pleasure this time, like you did for me last week."
His jaw drops open, "Liz, I can't expect you to – "
"Why not, Max? What's so different about me doing this for you this time?" I ask, straightening up. His hand slides down my back again as I move.
He shakes his head. "It's just…you've never done this before and I had…I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable…" he trails off uncertainly.
"Max, you'd only done it once yourself before last week! And let me tell you, there was nothing wrong with your technique," I grin. "I may be inexperienced in this area and I'll admit that I'm a little nervous, but I want to do this for you," I tell him earnestly. "And I'm hoping you'll help by showing me what you like…" I raise my eyebrow in suggestion, but he doesn't respond and it's then that I realise that he's no longer looking me in the eye.
Then it hits me.
"That's it, isn't it? You don't like it. You don't want to me to do this, do you?"
He shifts uncomfortably, "No, it's not that. It's just that…um, no one's ever, er, pleasured me that way before and I guess I'm not really sure what to expect and…I'm kind of nervous too. I mean, you're Lizzie, you're my best friend" he gestures towards me. "What if you, like, laugh at me or something? I'd never be able to look you in the eye again."
"Max," I tilt his chin up to face me. "I'm not going to laugh at you, okay? If anything, the thought of seeing you and touching you, is making me so turned on right now that I can't think straight," I tell him, watching as his eyes widen. "Please, Max. Let me do this; we'll experience it together - a first time for both of us."
I barely give him enough time to finally nod his consent because my arms are suddenly wrapped tightly around his neck and my lips are devouring his. Using my legs as leverage, I give a small push forward and Max falls back to the bed, pulling me down with him. A thrill runs through me at the feel of his strong, hard body pressed against mine and I can think of nothing else but that his tongue is caressing mine and our bodies are touching.
Somehow, our shoes get kicked off and we end up lying in the middle of the bed, my legs are straddling his hips as we continue to kiss.
Eventually, oxygen becomes an issue and we are forced to part. Max's head falls back against the pillows and he is breathing heavily. I take the opportunity, while he's catching his breath to move downwards, pressing soft kisses along his neck and collarbone, down to the opening of his shirt. I play with the fastened buttons for a moment, before casually unbuttoning a couple of them. I hear a gasp from Max as my fingers graze the newly exposed skin and I continue to unbutton his shirt, placing small kisses on his skin as it comes into view.
Before long, the shirt is completely open and I can run my fingers over the expanse of his bare chest, taking his shirt with them as I go. I reach his shoulders and he lifts off the bed slightly so I can ease the garment off him. I discard it on the floor and lean over him to admire a half-naked Max, my hair brushing his skin as I move.
"Liz…" he mutters and I look up to find his eyes closed. His hands rest gently on my hips and I smile at the picture he makes. I can't help it; I lower my upper body to his and capture his lips once more. He moans into my mouth and I part my lips to allow his tongue entry. I feel his hands move from my hips and up underneath my flimsy top, coming to rest on my lower back. His fingers begin a torturous assault on my skin and as the kiss deepens, his hands move further up over my back. Now it's my turn to gasp as he presses me more fully against him and I feel the bulge in his pants as it rubs against me.
"God. Max," I breathe into his mouth, and some of my nervousness dissipates.
With a rapid surge of confidence, I tear my mouth from his and make my way back down his chest, licking and nipping at his skin. My tongue circles his right nipple and his upper body jerks slightly. I smile against his chest, lingering there for a moment before moving to pay attention to the left one. As my mouth works, I let my fingers trail down over his stomach muscles, grinning when I feel them contract under my touch.
My fingers finally reach their destination, but I'm still a little hesitant when they come into contact with his erection straining against his clothing. Sensing my uncertainty, Max slides one hand out from under my top and covers my hand with his.
"Liz, hey," he whispers soothingly. "You don't have to do this if you're not ready."
I raise my head from his chest to meet his eyes. "I am ready, Max," I tell him. "I just, um…" I trail off, suddenly at a loss for words.
He seems to understand though, because he presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head and murmurs, "Look, we'll just do this together, okay?" As if to emphasise his point, he moves my hand to his zipper and together we pull it down. A hiss escapes his lips as some of the pressure is relieved and I glance up at his face to find it contorted with pleasure.
His reaction spurs me on and I gently ease his pants down over his hips, boldly running my fingers over the material of his boxers, feeling the hard length beneath them. This time, my actions elicit a moan from Max and I'm suddenly eager to hear more.
I want to make him lose control.
Starting at his belly button, I walk my fingers along the trail of hair that runs down to his boxers. When I reach the elastic, I teasingly slip my hand underneath it, letting out a small gasp myself as my fingers close around his hard flesh. He lets out another moan at the contact and suddenly I have this incredible urge to not only touch him, but to see him while I'm doing it. I take a deep breath, knowing that what I'm about to do will cross a line and that I can never go back once I've crossed it. This will be the first time I've ever seen all of Max; that is if you don't count that time when we were four and he ran around my back yard completely naked before jumping into the paddling pool and thoroughly soaking me in the process. I mentally shake my head. Okay, not a good time to be recalling childhood memories!
Another quick glance up at his face and seeing his eyes still tightly shut gives me the confidence to continue and before I can change my mind, I lift the waistband and free him from the confines of his underwear.
Wow.
I'm not really sure what else to say at this point, or how else to describe him. He is magnificent, if you can really say that about a man's penis; I mean, they're not exactly the most attractive things in the world. But I guess the locker room rumours about him were true, he's definitely the biggest I've seen, although I've only technically seen two others in the flesh before.
I feel a little embarrassed about just sitting here and staring at him like this (at least he's not looking at me though), so I just let instinct take over and stroke him gently. A tiny smile plays on my lips as his breathing deepens and then starts to come in small gasps. Incensed, I move my fingers over him faster and then reach lower to lightly cup and caress his balls. His answering moan is all the encouragement I need and I lean forward, tentatively flicking my tongue out to taste the tip. Max's hips jerk in response and he whispers my name.
More confident now, I lean in again, but this time my tongue lingers slightly longer and then I take the whole tip in my mouth. His hands bury themselves in my hair and he gasps again.
"Oh God. Liz…"
Now fuelled by my own desire, as well as his, I daringly take more of him into my mouth, running my tongue over the smooth skin as my hand wraps around the rest of him, stroking steadily as my mouth does the rest.
He's panting now and his breathing is erratic. Not ceasing what I'm doing, I look up at his face again and find that he's opened his eyes and is now looking down at me, watching my every move beneath heavy-lidded eyes. I fight the urge to look away, and suddenly I find myself caught up in the obvious love and desire shining in his eyes and as his hands tighten in my hair, I feel a surge of warmth in my belly; now I'm too turned on to care about being self-conscious or embarrassed. A quick smile flits across Max's face before pleasure takes over again and his head falls back to the pillow.
"Oh God, Liz," he moans again, his eyes sliding closed once more. "Don't stop."
I focus all my energy on giving him as much pleasure as possible. I'm sucking and licking and pumping his length with one hand, the other gently cupping his balls once more.
Suddenly, without warning, his balls tighten and his body tenses.
"Liz, I'm going to…you have to…" he gasps then and tries to push my head away, but I'm not having it. It might be my first time doing this, but I want to experience everything about it and to be honest, I think it would be more awkward and well, messy, if I were to pull away now and have him 'reach his peak' all over himself (not to be crude or anything).
So, I shake my head and make a sound of protest in the back of my throat, which must have caused a vibration against him because just then his hands fist in my hair and he lets out a loud, gasping groan, his seed spilling into my mouth. It's unexpected, but not completely unpleasant. I swallow quickly and continue to give him pleasure until I've sucked him dry and he relaxes back onto the bed, catching his breath.
I let his softening member slip from my mouth and cover him up once again, discretely wiping my mouth while his eyes are still closed. Before I crawl back up the bed to him, I lean down and slide his pants off his legs, leaving him in just boxers. I admire his muscular thighs and calves as I go. Deciding that I can't be bothered to get ready for bed properly, I slip off my skirt as well and let it fall to join his trousers on the floor. I slide up the bed in my strappy top and panties until I'm face to face with him.
"Wow," his eyes open slowly and he gives me a lazy, but contented smile. "Hey," he whispers.
"Hey to you, too," I reply. He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off before he's even started. "And it was my pleasure."
"I love you," he states, earnestly.
"And I love you," I return happily.
His arm comes around me then and he leans down to kiss my lips. At first, I try to pull away, mindful of what I've just done, but he doesn't seem to care and I find myself giving in and kissing him back. He eventually pulls back and rests his forehead against mine, grinning ear-to-ear.
"Come on, let's get some sleep," he says and shifts to release the covers, pulling them over us. I rest my head on his chest, my arm around his waist.
"Goodnight, Max," I murmur softly.
"Goodnight, Lizzie," he whispers back. "And thank you for tonight."
I don't reply, but raise my head and place a kiss to the sensitive spot on his neck, just below his ear. He shivers slightly, but is too sleepy to do anything about it. I lay my head back down on his chest, relaxing against him, closing my eyes as I drift off to sleep.
"God, Liz, just stop, okay?" exclaims an irritated Max. "Please."
"Stop? Stop what? You're the one that keeps ignoring everything I say!" I cry, annoyed.
"That's because nothing that has come out of your mouth in the past hour as been particularly nice and it doesn't seem like you're going to get over…whatever it is that's making you act like this…anytime soon!" his voice raises steadily as he speaks, until he's practically shouting. "And I'm trying to concentrate on getting us to Cambridge. You know, so I can see the place that's going to be your home for the next four years."
"Yeah well, I can't help it if you're an uptight ass with no compassion for others," I grind out, crossing my arms over my chest as I turn away from him. I stare out of the window and try desperately to blink away the tears that are threatening to fall.
"What the hell, Liz? All I said was that maybe it's going to cost too much to visit some of the other cities on the East coast, and you totally bit my head off!"
He's right, of course. I've blown this entire conversation out of proportion. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me today. I don't want to fight with Max. Last night, when I pictured how we would be spending today, it definitely did not involve a full-blown argument between the two of us. But I guess I just woke up cranky this morning, which was a shame, considering the special night we just shared, but now I just can't seem to stop the harsh words from tumbling out.
I'm having a clumsy, nothing's-going-right-for-me, stressful day and it just so happens that Max is the only one around to take the heat. I really do love him, but I could really do with some alone time right now and being stuck in a car with him for several hours is really not helping my bad mood. As much as I don't want to let on that I'm trying not to cry right now, I can't control the small sniffle and hiccup that escape and I can feel Max's gaze on me.
"Liz," he starts tiredly. "I don't want to fight with you today and I'm sorry, okay? So let's just calm down and forget about it."
I whip my head round to face him, "No, I'm not going to forget about it. This isn't your fault; it's mine. I'm having a crappy day today and I'm taking it out on you. I don't mean to, but I am," I tell him seriously. "Look, I don't want to put a dampener on things, especially after last night, so it's probably best if we just give each other some space right now. Why don't I drive and then you can relax for a bit?"
Max nods, taking in what I've said, but he still refuses to let me drive.
"You just said it yourself: you're having a bad day. I'll handle the driving and you get some rest, okay? And we won't talk anymore, at least for now," he says and I nod in reply. "But, do you think maybe I could just hold your hand instead? You look like you could do with a bit of…subtle support," he smiles and although I'm still a little frustrated and annoyed, I find myself agreeing, my fingers curling round his as his large hand slips into mine. I squeeze his soft flesh lightly, letting him know that I'm grateful for his understanding and we continue to drive in silence.
As Max drives on towards Cambridge, all the while casually stroking my hand with his thumb and fingers, I let my thoughts drift back to last night. Looking back on it now, I feel kind of embarrassed about how forward I was with Max and when I woke up this morning, before the crankiness started, I was really worried that things would be awkward between us; but one glance into those gorgeous, sleep-filled, gold-flecked eyes and all my fears dissipated. We shared a tender kiss and muttered sweet nothings to each other, before I got up and promptly began dropping and knocking over everything that I touched and so my bad day began.
We ended up almost missing the deadline for vacating the room at the hotel because of my apparent inability to do anything right this morning; and then the traffic out of the city was really bad, but we're finally on our way to Massachusetts and Harvard University.
The warmth of Max's hand in mine is comforting and it soothes my frazzled nerves. I find myself drifting off to sleep within a few minutes of our truce being initiated and the next time I open my eyes, we are in Cambridge.
"Wow," I exclaim as we drive through the town. There are a lot of quaint shops and the place has a nice community atmosphere. "It's beautiful here. I can't wait to see the campus. What?" I ask when Max looks at me funny.
"You're going to school here, but you haven't even seen the campus yet?"
I huff indignantly, "Well, it's not like it's only a few hours away like UNM. I think two thousand miles is slightly far to travel for a quick campus tour." Max opens his mouth to say something, but I carry on regardless. "And besides, I've wanted to go here my whole life. Harvard is my dream," I say, gazing ahead at the beautiful scenery.
I hear a scoff and turn to Max to find him with his hands raised in the air in an act of surrender, "Okay, okay. I got it. No need to get your knickers in a twist."
For a second, I'm tempted to wipe that smirk off his face, but then I see a genuine smile creeping through and I realise that he was just teasing. I shoot him a glare, but the effect is ruined by the sudden urge to giggle that has just risen up in my throat.
Anyway, Max pulls up outside the university a few minutes later and together we set off on a tour of the campus, our earlier argument all but forgotten.
Day 31 – Wednesday July 23rd 2002
Max and I spent the afternoon and early evening taking in Harvard University and I have to say, the architecture and the scenery here is wonderful. The buildings look really old fashioned and so different from New Mexico, where everything has been built Adobe style.
We got to see the Biology Medical labs and the lecture theatres where I'll be taking my classes in the Fall and just seeing where I'll be living and studying got me all excited. Suddenly, I can't wait until next month when I'll be moving out here. Of course, it's going to be hell without Max, but simply the thought of working in those labs and making new biological discoveries sends a thrill though my body.
We also had the chance to look around the residence hall where I'll be living come the end of August. It's right near the science labs and close to several of the local student hangouts. The rooms look really nice and I guess I'll have a roommate to get to know soon.
Tomorrow, we've decided to drive into Boston and have a look around the city. Since it's close to Cambridge, I'll probably end up spending some time in the city and it will be nice to have a look around it before I finally come here.
I feel kind of silly about it now, but when we found a motel to stay in for the night and finally had a chance to relax in our room, everything just caught up with me – the university, my bad mood all day – and I just burst into tears in the middle of watching a rerun of Friends and scoffing a pizza.
Max was great. He didn't ask questions; he didn't get offended when I tried to shrug off his words of comfort; he just plucked the slice of pizza from my hands, and placed it on the box. Then he swept the few unruly strands of hair from my face and enveloped my in a warm hug. His hands rubbed my back soothingly and he whispered comforting words in my ear until I managed to calm down a little.
It was like he understood that I hadn't meant to be so harsh to him today, that something was up and that I couldn't help flying off the handle at him about the littlest things and he seemed to take my little outburst in his stride. Eventually, I was able to get emotions under control again and when he was finally satisfied that I was back to normal again, Max left me to watch to more Friends episodes while he took a shower.
That's where he is now: in the shower and the way things have been heating up between us lately, I would normally be thinking about the fact that he's currently standing naked behind that door and how much I'd like to ravish him. But tonight I'm just too tired and moodily depressed to consider it, so to pass the time until he's finished, I've been writing in my journal instead.
Just as I write that last sentence, the bathroom door opens and a clean, freshly shaven Max walks out in a T-shirt and boxers.
"Hey, you feeling any better?" he greets me with a smile, using a towel to dry his hair.
"Yeah, I am. Thank you," I send him a grateful look.
He drops the towel onto the back of the nearby chair and I have to suppress a giggle at the sight of his hair now. It's sticking up in all directions and makes him look about ten years old. Well, his face at least; the rest of his body is definitely not that of a ten-year-old.
"I'm sorry about earlier, in the car," I apologise as he leans down to pick up the box of remaining cold pizza and place it on the floor. "I don't know what's wrong with me today. It's like everything has been off-kilter or something and I just haven't been able to do anything right."
"Hey, don't worry about it, okay? We all have our bad days," he tells me, sitting down next to me on the bed "Remember the other week when we drove to the hotel at Disneyland? I was having a really crappy day then, just like you're having today. I didn't mean to, but I took it out on you and I barely spoke to you that whole day. It wasn't your fault and I shouldn't have ignored you like I did, but I had some stuff going on in my head and my problems just spilled over onto you. I'm sorry for that, but you didn't hold it against me, just like I'm not going to hold this against you today. So let's just forget about it, okay?"
"Okay," I manage, touched by his apology and explanation. My mind wanders as I remember the few days we spent at Disneyland and I remember something that happened, or almost happened while we were there. With everything that was going on, I'd forgotten to ask him about it.
"Max, you know when Aiden showed up in California, just after we'd been on the river rapids? You started to say something to me, but we got interrupted. What were you going to say?"
Max frowns in confusion for a moment, but then his face clears and, for some reason, he blushes.
"Oh, um," he ducks his head, biting his lip before looking back up. "I was going to tell you how pretty you looked soaking wet; and I think maybe I would have told you how I'd been feeling about you the previous few days. How jealous I was when I saw you with Aiden. How you mean so much more to me than just a best friend. I would have told you that you're my whole world, Liz."
"Wow," I breathe. "You were going to tell me all of that? Man, Aiden really has bad timing. Max, you should have stopped me from going out with him that night," I scold.
"Would you have listened to me?"
"Okay, probably not," I concede. "Not if you didn't explain why you didn't want me to go."
"Exactly."
"Oh no," I hold my hand to my head. "That's why you got mad when I got back, isn't it? Wow, I really messed that up, didn't I?"
"Hey, don't worry about it. It all worked out in the end, so why bring it up now?" he reasons and I find myself agreeing with him. "Hey, you must be exhausted. Why don't you go wash up and we'll go to bed, okay?"
"Alright," I say and climb out of the bed. "I'll see you in a minute."
Ten minutes later, we're curled up together in bed. Max is lying behind me, his head propped up on his hand. His fingers are caressing my shoulder and upper arm and it's sending me to sleep.
"I love you, Liz," are the last words I hear before sleep takes over.
TBC…