Part Seventeen
Friday August 15th 2002
Well, it's been just over two weeks since we arrived back home in Roswell and I have to say, it's been going pretty well.
Needless to say, almost everyone was fine with my relationship with Max (I say almost everyone, because we still haven't told my parents yet), and well, okay, that's not saying much considering that basically all of our friends knew except for Michael!
The night we got back, we gathered the others – Maria, Michael and Alex – in Michael's apartment and told them that we were together. Maria was the first to react with a hysterical scream and a shout of 'I knew it!'. Michael just looked kind of bewildered, his brow furrowed in confusion, but once he got over the initial shock, he smiled at me (a rare occurrence, I have to say) and clapped Max on the back (in a very masculine way, of course) with a 'way to go!' (I know I should have been offended at this, but honestly, I was more concerned about everyone accepting our relationship than anything else). Alex, though; Alex didn't really say anything, but just gave me a knowing smirk when we announced it and every few minutes after that, he would catch my eye, giving me a meaningful, 'remember what we talked about in San Francisco?' look; which I desperately tried to ignore. Eventually I got him to stop by dragging him into the kitchen and threatening to tell Max exactly what he was doing with his sister (obviously, I left out the part about Max already knowing that Alex and Isabel were sleeping together).
So, at the moment, out of our parents, only Diane Evans knows about us; which, in a way, is almost harder than if none of them knew. See, every time Max and I are alone in his room, I just know his mom is keeping her ears and eyes open for anything suspicious going on between us. I've got so paranoid about it; I've even suggested we keep the door open while we're there (I know – crazy)! Luckily, Max won't have any of it, though. Claiming that yes, I am being paranoid and that if she trusted us enough to spend the entire summer together, surely she can trust us for a couple of hours in his room, while she's in the house.
At least, when Max comes over to mine, my parents don't think anything of us spending time in my room or on the balcony – it's what we've always done in the past when we were nothing more than friends.
But anyway, the last 2 weeks have been pretty great. Max and I have gone out on dates (although, since we couldn't be honest with my parents, there was no grilling from my dad and we had to be careful not to give the game away) and we've spent as much time together as we can. I have to admit that it was hard having to sleep alone those first couple of nights, but I'm dealing with it (although not very successfully, I might add).
But, after all, I'd better get used to not seeing him every day.
The sad thing is, both UNM and Harvard orientations start next week, which means that I only have 3 more days with Max before I have to fly out to Massachusetts and he moves up to Albuquerque. I'm dreading having to say goodbye to him; I mean, I know we'll be able to talk on the phone and online whenever we want, but it's just not going to be the same without him…
"Writing in that thing again?" comes a half-amused, half-incredulous voice from the doorway and my head snaps up. "I thought that was just for the trip!"
"Oh, ha ha," I retort, but the grin that spreads across my face basically counteracts the annoyed tone I was going for. I snap the journal shut and practically bounce off the bed and over to him.
"Hey, you," I murmur, leaning up for a kiss. Max obliges, his arms coming around me, pressing me against his warm, solid body. "You know, it's a good thing my parents are downstairs this afternoon."
"I know," he mumbles between kisses. "I just saw them in the café."
"Mmm, I could just stay here like this all day," I tell him, as my arms come up around his neck.
"Me too," he agrees against my lips. But then he gives me one last kiss and pulls away.
"Hey, I was enjoying that!" I exclaim indignantly.
"I know," he commiserates, with a twinkle in his eye. "But the thing is, there's somewhere we have to be and we're gonna be late if we don't leave now."
"Ooh, where are we going?" my eyes light up in excitement; we didn't make any plans for today
"I thought we could catch that new movie that you wanted to see and then maybe spend some time out in the desert," he suggests with a smile.
"Really?" I grin; I love going out to the desert with Max, which we've done a few times since we got back. We usually just stretch out on a blanket and gaze up at the stars. It's also pretty much the only time that we get to be alone these days and so we like to make the most of it, if you catch my drift. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go."
Unfortunately, we don't make it to the movie. In fact, we don't even make it out of the Crashdown.
The reason?
Tess Harding.
Yes, that's right, you heard me; Max's ex-girlfriend. You know, the one who is pregnant and currently claiming that Max is the father.
Which, of course he isn't. I mean; he never even slept with her. But you try getting that into her head!
So, anyway, Max and I were just walking through the café to leave, when in walked Miss Harding. I'm not going to bore you with the details (mainly because I'm really not in the mood to think about it any longer); but needless to say, she started making a scene and eventually Max had to agree to talk with her outside, just to shut her up.
Not wanting to seem like the jealous girlfriend, especially in front of my parents (who don't even know that I am a girlfriend, yet), I had to force myself to stay calm (and inside the building) and help my dad out with restaurant duties, all the while wondering like crazy what was going on out there.
After what felt like an hour (but was probably only about ten minutes), Max came back looking particularly stressed and upset. I asked him what had happened with Tess, but all he told me was that he thought he'd finally gotten through to her, but that he didn't want to talk about it.
So anyway, here we are, alone together in the desert. Having missed the movie, we are more than making up for it now; although as wonderful as it feels to have Max in my arms, I get the feeling that his heart's not really in this. Not that I can blame him, of course. I offered to let him have some time alone and to forget doing anything tonight, but he insisted on coming out to the desert anyway; and now his body is blanketing mine as he presses swift, yet fervent kisses to my lips and face and his voice whispers my name over and over.
"Max," I whisper as soon as I can catch by breath. "Max, stop," I urge, slipping my hands between our bodies and pushing him away slightly.
"What? What's wrong?" he manages, his face flushed and breathing ragged.
"I just…" my eyes roam his face. "I think we should stop." At his puzzled frown, I hastily continue, "I mean, dealing with Tess today obviously upset you. You're distracted, Max. Do you want talk about it?" I ask, reaching up to brush his hair off his forehead, before cupping his cheek with my hand.
"Liz…" he avoids my eyes, rolling to lie on his back beside me. "I'm fine."
"Max," I start, but he holds his hand up to stop me.
"Okay, so maybe I'm not fine, but I'm dealing with it. Tess just said some things this afternoon that were uncalled for and that upset me, but I don't want to bring it up again right now. I just want to forget about it. Please."
I sigh and agree, knowing that I probably should make him talk about it; but at the same time, understanding that he's really not comfortable with it. We lie there on the blanket; not speaking, but just staring up at the dark sky. A few minutes pass before I can't take it any longer, and I reach for his hand, entwining my fingers with his. I feel his fingers squeeze mine and I know he's not angry or upset with me.
I just hope that he hasn't taken whatever Tess said to him to heart. I'd hate for him to feel insecure or troubled over the situation.
I turn my head slightly to look at him. He's staring straight ahead, gazing up at the stars, seemingly unaware of my attention. It's hard to believe that in just a couple of day's time, we'll be heading in different directions. I'll be leaving the state, for God's sake.
I'll be leaving him.
Although, since Roswell only has a small airport, I have to fly over to Boston from the Albuquerque Sunport (no more cross country road trips for this girl just yet!), and we've arranged for me to go up there to say goodbye to Max before I get on the plane (the airport is only a couple of miles from UNM). I'll get to help Max move into his new room in Coronado Hall and spend my last bit of time in New Mexico with him.
I drag my thoughts back to the present and realise that tears are collecting in the corners of my eyes. I chance another quick glance at Max, only to find him staring right back at me.
"Liz? What's the matter?" He uses his free hand to wipe away the few tears that had fallen from my eyes.
I shake my head, but my heart lurches suddenly and I can't prevent my face from screwing up and a sob from escaping my lips.
"Hey," he murmurs pulling me into his arms and cradling my head against his chest.
"I'm sorry," I sniff, my voice coming out all garbled. "It's just…there's only a couple of days left until we leave."
"I know," he soothes, placing a kiss to the top of my head. "I know, Lizzie."
"I'm going to miss you like crazy, Max," I mutter into his chest.
"Me too," he sighs. "Me too."
"But we'll talk, right? On the phone?" I ask, in a pleading tone.
"Of course we will; all the time," he reassures me. "And we can talk online too, whenever you want. I promise."
"I don't want to go," I blurt out suddenly. "I want to stay here, with you."
"Oh, Lizzie," he sighs. "You have to go to Harvard. It's your dream," he tells me firmly. "And there is no way I am letting you give up on your dream for me."
He's right. Of course, he's right.
"Max…" I feel a sudden rush of warmth run through my chest. I don't know what to say. I settle with, "I love you."
"I love you too, Lizzie. Just remember that. No matter how crappy I'm feeling today about what happened with Tess, or how upset I get about things, always know that I love you."
I can only nod at his declaration. Any further words I might have said are now lodged in the back of my throat. I relax against Max's side and enjoy the peacefulness of the desert.
After all, who knows how long it will be before we can spend some time out here again?
I can't believe this is it.
We're in Albuquerque and I'm helping Max move into his room at UNM. In just a couple of hours, I'm going to have to say goodbye to him and I honestly don't know how I'm going to do it.
"Hey, you okay?" Max's voice sounds behind me and I turn round from my position at the window of his room to see him dropping yet another bag onto the bed he's claimed as his.
The room is pretty big, with white walls and a sink. It is sparsely furnished, with two single beds, two desks and two built-in wardrobes. Max's roommate hasn't arrived yet, so he had first pick of the beds and wardrobes.
"I'm fine," I murmur as I watch him arranging his stuff on the bed. I shake my head quickly to clear it. I've promised myself that I'm not going to cry today.
"Hey, my parents are just bringing up the last of my things. When they get here, I'll finish sorting everything out and then maybe we can go for a walk together or something?"
"Okay," I force a smile, pushing my woeful thoughts aside, "sounds great."
My own parents are around here somewhere, since they drove me (and all my stuff) up from Roswell; but since I agreed to help Max move in, I sent them off to look around for a couple of hours.
I help Max organise his things until his mom and dad arrive. They barely have enough time to place his remaining boxes and bags on the floor, before Max is shoving the stuff alongside the bed and ushering us all out of the room, telling his parents to go have a coffee or something. At first, his dad protests that they should be spending some time together before they leave, but Diane catches my eye and seems to realise that Max and I want to be alone for a while, so she nudges Philip and casually suggests that they go and explore the student union. Luckily, I remember that my parents were planning to take a look around it as well, so I quickly propose that maybe they could meet up for a chat over there.
Thankfully, Philip agrees and once we are all outside the Hall, we say goodbye and they head off in the direction of the SUB.
"Whew, I thought they would never leave," Max exhales beside me.
"Max!" I whack him on the arm. "They're your parents. They're about to go home and leave you here all on your own. You could at least pretend you want them here!"
He rolls his eyes and pulls me into his arms, "Now, why would I want to do that, when this way, I get to spend some more time with you before you go."
My lips curl into a smile at his words. "Well, okay, when you put it like that. But, for the record," I wag a finger at him. "I still think it was rude."
This time, he smiles and captures my hand in his, bringing it to his lips. He places a soft kiss to my fingers and then pouts at me, "Sorry, Lizzie. I won't do it again."
I can see that he's trying to be serious and keep a straight face, but it doesn't work, because a second later, his solemn expression turns into a smirk.
"Yeah, right, Evans. You just keep believing that."
His smirk becomes a cheeky grin and I can't resist planting a kiss against his cheek, entwining my fingers with his.
"Come on, then, you. Let's go for a walk."
We end up by the Duck Pond again. Almost as soon as we get there, Max takes a seat on the grass and pulls me down with him. I settle between his legs and lean back against his chest. For a few minutes, we just sit there, staring out at the water. I let my mind travel back to Saturday night, when Max took me out for dinner at this gorgeous little Italian restaurant on the outskirts of town. We had a long talk that night, and he finally told me what Tess had said to him.
Apparently, she'd still been under the impression that they'd slept together and that the baby could be his. Max told me that he actually asked her straight out who the father was; who the person she had cheated on him with was, and she had the nerve to flat out deny that there had been anyone else. When Max informed her coolly that he'd never laid a hand on her that night, she accused him of having performance issues and that he was just afraid to admit that he'd been inexperienced in bed.
You know, I really don't understand Tess. One minute, she's insisting that she's pregnant with Max's child and the next she's putting him down and insulting him. Although he denies it, I think that Max was really hurt by what she said. To be honest, I think that she made him feel inadequate and that's why he was so determined to be with me on Friday night.
I sigh as Max's arms tighten around me and his head lowers to nuzzle my neck. The action takes me back to last week, when we sat like this out in the desert one evening. We were so close to making love that night, but for some reason, we both stopped just before it could happen. I think it was because, whether subconsciously or not, neither of us want our first time together to be on a blanket in the middle of the desert, especially Max. I want his first time to be special; he deserves that.
"Max," I whisper, my hand coming up to his head, my fingers burying themselves in his hair. My eyes close at the sensations flowing through my body as his lips dance over my skin.
Unable to contain my feelings any longer, I shift in his arms and capture his lips with mine. Not breaking contact, I turn the rest of the way to face him and rise up to my knees, wrapping my arms around his neck. I smile against his lips at how wonderful this feels right now, locked in my boyfriend's embrace, with the hot sun beating down on us. It's just perfect.
"What the hell?" A loud, angry and familiar voice interrupts us and we abruptly pull away from each other, turning in the direction of the noise.
Oh, shit.
It's my father, standing there with his hands on his hips, glaring furiously at the two of us. Surrounding him, are my mother, and Diane and Philip. All of them except Diane are wearing shocked expressions.
"What exactly is going on here?" demands my father.
Max and I exchange a look of trepidation before turning back to face our parents.
Well, that was certainly interesting.
So, I guess everyone knows about us now; although I can't say that either of my parents were particularly pleased when they found out that Max and I were seeing each other. My dad got angry with Max, accusing him of trying to take advantage of me while we were on the road, where as my mom was more disappointed that Diane somehow knew about us, but I obviously hadn't felt she was important enough to be told.
We had a pretty intense talk (well, I should really say 'argument') about it, but in the end, I managed to convince them both that this – a relationship with Max – was what I wanted and that they had no right to try to break us up. I explained to them how hard it was going to be for us going to college on opposite sides of the country and that if the two of them were going to object to our relationship, then that would make it so much harder.
It was at that point I realised how glad I was that Max and I hadn't gone all the way yet. At least then, I could be truthful and honest when they asked me if we were sleeping together (they still think I'm a virgin, since there was no way I was going to admit that I'd started having sex when I was 16).
When I finally calmed them down enough to have a civilised conversation, we made our way back over to Max and his parents, who were sitting on the grass by the pond. I have to say that I was surprised at how easily and calmly Mr. Evans accepted our relationship, although something tells me that he wasn't as in the dark as both Max and I had thought (something also tells me that Diane may have already spilled the beans to him).
So, anyway, now we're all at the airport. My plane leaves in an hour or so and Max and I are desperately trying to make our last few minutes together worthwhile. Our parents have respectfully given us a little privacy so we can say our goodbyes before I have to go through to the departure lounge. So, right now, Max is clinging to me for dear life, his face buried in my neck, his strong arms holding me close.
"Don't go, Lizzie. I need you here with me," he murmurs softly and despite the seriousness of the situation, I can't help a small smile forming on my lips. His words are the complete opposite to what he was saying on Friday night.
"I have to, Max. I have to," I whisper, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. "I'm already checked in and everything."
I pull back to stare into his eyes, noting the tears visible there too. "I love you, Max Evans," I declare softly.
"I love you, too, Elizabeth Parker," he returns. I smile through my tears. No one ever calls me Elizabeth, unless it's something serious.
We stand there, just staring at each other for a few moments, before the temptation is too great and I crush my lips against his. His arms tighten around me, his hands roaming my back as we kiss desperately. How am I going to do this? How am I going to survive without him? Without my best friend?
I feel the tears finally spilling down my cheeks and a sob catch in my throat as I hold him to me, my hands buried in his hair. Eventually, Max breaks the kiss, his lips moving urgently over my face and down to my neck. I enfold my arms around his neck and just breathe in his scent as I'm wrapped in his embrace. Several moments later, we pull away and Max just looks at me, his hand coming up to wipe away my tears as I do the same for him.
I take a deep breath to get my emotions under control, before I speak. "So, I guess I'd better go," I say finally.
He just nods resignedly.
"I have to go say goodbye to my parents."
He nods again, but I'm not moving.
"I really should – "
He cuts me off with one last passionate kiss to my lips.
"Go," he whispers against my lips. "Go, before I kidnap you and hold you hostage in my room."
A small giggle escapes my lips and I relish the feel of his arms around me for one more minute, before reluctantly pulling away. Turning away from him, unable to risk another glance in his direction just yet, I walk towards my parents, who are standing several feet away.
"Oh, Lizzie, honey," my mom cries and she enfolds me in her arms. "You really going off to college. I can't believe it; my baby girl, all grown up."
It's Dad's turn next. He hugs me, kisses my forehead and tells me to be careful and responsible at college. There's no mention of Max, other than the meaningful glare he sends in his direction.
I hug my parents once more and say goodbye to Mr and Mrs Evans, who wish me luck. With one last hug and a brief kiss from Max, I force myself to make my way towards the security gates and departure lounge. I told myself I wouldn't, but I can't resist one last glance back at Max just before I disappear round the corner. He's stood there, hands in his pockets looking so incredibly sad and vulnerable that I almost give in and run back to him. But I know I can't, so I gather enough strength as I can and start walking towards my gate, tears dripping down my face.
An hour later, the plane is taxiing down the runway, preparing for takeoff. As we begin to gain speed, I close my eyes and remember every single goodbye I said today; Maria, Alex, Michael, even Kyle (who stood there awkwardly as we all gathered in the Crashdown); Max's parents, Mom, Dad and Max.
I feel the plane lurching upwards as we take off and with a deep breath, I resolve to make the most of the life ahead of me at Harvard; I make a promise, to both myself and to Max, that I'm going to enjoy myself and make friends and not wallow in sadness over being apart from him.
Let's just hope it works.
TBC…