Vires Mentis

II

James couldn't help but feel uneasy.

Dumbledore's office was a place that James tended to avoid in the past. Granted, he had only been there twice in all his years at Hogwarts, which had to be some kind of record considering the amount of rule breaking the Marauders had accomplished.

But maybe the feeling had more to do with the presence of three other unknown wizards huddled around Dumbledore's desk.

Yeah, that might be it.

Dumbledore had gracefully seated himself, looking completely untroubled.

"Treacle Toffee?"

Two polite declines of the muggle candy were made.

"I assume you are wondering who our guests are?" James then allowed his eyes to wander to the wizards. One looked almost as ancient as the Headmaster, but carried himself with confidence that spoke of power. The other two were much younger, much bigger, and no less formidable looking.

"Friends Cyprian Pavlenco," large man number one, "Benjy Fenwick," large man number two, "and Elphias Doge," old man.

"Friends, this is James Potter and Lily Evans, Head Boy and Girl." James bowed his head an inch, keeping his eyes on the men.

"I have been fortunate enough to have my friend's assistance in the coming school year. I brought you here to introduce them to you, as you will be seeing them on school grounds and in the castle from time to time."

James eyes flashed to the Headmaster's. He didn't like where this was going; he wasn't the only student in the room. But Dumbledore wasn't finished, there was something more. Surly introductions could have waited for another day.

James would be patient; he would wait for Dumbledore to –

"I don't understand professor."

Or Lily could ask.

Looking at her, James thought she looked very small in the large chintz chair.

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, you are quite correct, Miss Evans. The main reason I brought you here tonight is because, as Heads of Hogwarts, I feel you are required to know about certain precautions that we are taking."

Of course this was what he wanted to speak about. James knew this would be happening at some point, Dumbledore had told him as much over the summer.

Dumbledore continued, "You may have been aware of the increasing number of incidents involving pure blooded wizards praying on both wizards and muggles alike. They are steadily becoming more serious in nature."

A pause, the old man's blue eyes were on him. James looked away, clenching his jaw. He would be strong because there was no affordance in any other option.

Everyone knew about the Death Eaters. The attacks had started around the time James first started Hogwarts. Attacks, he called them, but in actuality they were disappearances. Whole wizarding families simply vanished, never to be heard from again. Their homes were a sight reminiscent of a war.

The only evidence to be found was a green, smoking grotesque symbol of a snake in the mouth of a skull looming over the site. The Dark Mark.

It had all started in Eastern Europe. Then Voldemort and his followers migrated to Britain. And with the change in scenery, the Death Eaters changed their tactics. The horribly disfigured remains that they left in their wake would bring friends and family closure but at the expense of nightmares and sometimes madness.

The Psychological warfare was inhumane, immoral, and extremely effective.

It made James want to hit something.

Dumbledore didn't overstep his boundaries. "I would like the both of you to exert great caution. I will do everything in my power to keep the students safe, and that includes enlisting of help, wherever it may originate from."

Elbows placed on the table with his hands tented just under a severely crooked nose, he peered at them with intensity. It struck James for the second time in the span of a month; the amount of responsibility Dumbledore carried.

"The school grounds will be patrolled by at least one person at all times. There are new wards to protect against the admission of disguises, among other things. Rules have been tightened and must be maintained, and I would hope I can have your word that you will help facilitate these changes. It is of the upmost importance that you understand the severity the situation merits."

Understand? James bloody well understood alright. He was about to say as much when he caught himself. The anger left as soon as it had come, leaving him suddenly exhausted.

"We understand Professor. We would be honoured to help in any way possible."

James nodded at one of Dumbledore's more delicate looking trinkets, thankful that Lily chose to speak for both of them.

Dumbledore's smile was back, "Wonderful, now you both must be tired. I'm sure you know where the Vanguard Tower is?"

"Yes, professor, we'll be on our way then." Lily smiled and stood.

James just wanted to get out of the room. He didn't want to deal with his life, his responsibilities, or any of the wizards in that room. He was simply too tired to.

His only thought while he and Lily made their way to the East Wing on the ninth floor was he had never in his life felt like being somebody, anybody else so much before.

There was so much Dumbledore wasn't saying.

It was solidified by Potter's reaction. She thought the train ride had been unnatural, this, well this was something else entirely.

As soon as they had been seated, Lily noticed Potter looked tense. As Dumbledore enlightened them, however vaguely, Potter looked like he might yell at the Professor. And then more strikingly, he looked so despondent that Lily had to remind herself that this was James Happy-Go-Lucky Potter. He couldn't look hopeless. It didn't seem possible for him.

Whatever was eating at him, it was doing a good job of it. Lily sneaked a peak at the boy as they climbed the stairs. God, he looked dreadful. How did she miss it before?

Lily wanted to ask, but it wasn't her business plus it looked like any second now he was going to just drop. And maybe because she was feeling a minute amount of sympathy. Wow, she'd never thought she would see the day. Sympathy for the Devil.

She thought back to the other wizards. She had heard to Fenwick and Doge, they worked at the Ministry, if she wasn't mistaken. She would have to look that up. And this Pavlenco character, well, she'd never heard of him. He was a heavyset man with dark hair and no shortage of scars on his bare arms. Lily thought him to be an Auror.

All she knew was there was something going on that no one was telling her. And she intended to find out, even if she had to drag it out of Potter. Then again, it was all Potter could do to drag himself up the last flight of stairs.

Finally they found themselves in front of a suit of armour. In the letter that congratulated her on being Head Girl, there were instructions alluding to the space she would share with the Head Boy, and how to gain entrance.

Their residence was the Vanguard Tower, situated on the Eastern side of Hogwarts. Between two portraits of a medieval witch chasing a group of bandits around a fire and an old, wizened wizard was a silver suit of armour. The instructions stated that you had to tap the armour and state your name and then the suit of armour would ask a riddle. The correct answer would allow you inside.

Lily, who loved puzzles, found it a refreshing change from simply telling the Fat Lady the password.

Doing what was instructed, she and Potter watched as the armour creaked to life.

"What has a mouth but cannot eat what moves but has no legs and what has a bank but cannot put any galleons in it?"

So obviously not a living thing, if it can't eat. But it has a mouth, a statue? No legs; a fish statue? No, not that either. Well, maybe a dementor because they have no need of a bank, but does sucking out a soul count as –

"A river."

"Correct, Master Potter."

Lily huffed, she wanted to solve it! Next time she would beat him to the answer.

Presently, the armour struck his sword in to the stone floor, an action that strangely carried no sound. The stone wall behind the statue rippled like the surface of water and a passageway appeared. Potter leaped forward using the quickness he was known for on the Quidditch Pitch. Lily followed close behind as a winding staircase took them upwards.

Lily glanced back at the opening only to find that it had become stone once again. Reaching the top, she followed Potter into what must be the common area. Lily never would have imagined it to be so spacious. There was a comfy looking sofa and chair set up around a fireplace that was roaring with life. Long windows adorned the circular wall, one was stained glass and the other one faced directly eastward. There were even two tables against the wall that they might do homework on. Perfect.

Potter hadn't moved since he walked in the room. Lily couldn't see his face, but honestly, how much of a difference would it be from a few minutes ago? She was just about to ask him if he was alright when he headed to the wooden door on the left.

Fine. She wouldn't ask then. Potter could deal with whatever he was dealing with all by himself.

Wait, how did he know which room was his? Lily peered at the door after Potter closed it. No markings of any kind could be seen. But looking above the door she found his name scrawled into the stone:

James S. Potter

He had a middle name? Well, just another thing she would have to figure out. If she was going to be spending any amount of time in this area, she was going to have to find out what it was. It would drive her bonkers otherwise.

It was a nice area to relax, if only she didn't have to share it with numskull here. But, Lily thought, she might not mind this new, quiet Potter. He hadn't even asked her out yet, which was relieving even if it was beyond odd.

Heading to her room she saw a four-poster bed draped with dark green blankets. Finally, something that didn't clash with her hair. She walked straight to the bad and fell into it, glad to be back at Hogwarts.

To be back home.

She smiled into her pillow.

He couldn't wait another second.

He needed to be alone, away from everyone.

He had shown too much of himself, too much of what he was feeling. Why did he have to be around the few people whose opinions mattered? How was this fair to him?

Standing in the common room with Lily, Lily Evans – it was more than anything he could have hoped for. He had her all to himself here, and any other time he wouldn't have let a moment like that pass for the world. But not when he couldn't be who he wanted to be. Not when he barely knew how to handle himself.

He felt like he was under attack, from the Wizarding World, Professor Dumbledore, the Gringotts vault managers, Sirius, his mum…

She was at home all by herself. James felt horrible for leaving her without himself or Sirius there. He had been emotionally strong for her for the last month. It had been physically draining and had placed an emotional strain on him.

All he needed was a moment where he could be as weak as he wanted. Before he could be what everyone wanted, what he needed to be, he needed to let go.

So James Potter did the one thing that he had resisted doing since the death of his father.

He let go.

Treacle Toffees for anyone who can guess James' middle name!

Comments and constructive criticism are welcome!