By Zoram Selrof
Chapter 1: Crazy afternoon17:13 PM (Japan Time), Friday June the 12th, 2019…
"…This week's over at least! Next Tuesday… The last class and then… Surprise! Summer vacation!"
"Man. I'm so looking forward to it!"
"You two are very alike!"
"Really? I didn't stop to think of it. Right, Akashi?"
"Hmmm… Good point…"
Hikari Netto was walking down a corridor which led into the entrance lockers of a school along with his brother, Saito, and his classmates.
One of the classmates, Akashi, was about a meter and sixty tall.
He had messy jet-black hair and blue eye irises.
"And I'm sure that a flying cabbage will doom Dekao!"
Ayanokouji Yaito laughed at her silly jokes and the others sighed.
"It's not like I hate cabbage!" Ooayama Dekao argued back.
"It's pointless. When she gets in the mood…" Sakurai Meiru sighed.
The group stopped in front of the lockers, and each opened theirs to change their shoes and pick up their PETs.
Netto simply placed his on the arm-strap without checking it out and Saito did the same with his (green and white colored).
"Hello! Delta! Any new mail?"
"There's one from "Jupiter Warrior"! Labeled "URGENT AND PERSONAL", too… But I don't know anyone with such a name to begin with although I've scanned it and it's virus-free… Some campaign?"
Akashi's PET was red and white.
It was decorated with the silver lowercase delta character set against a black background.
"I'll check it out. Any other news?"
"Not really…"
Delta's main body was black.
His helmet, forearms and boots were silver.
His eye irises were red.
His emblem was the same delta character set on his chest and ear-pads.
Some jet-black hair came out from behind the helmet as well.
He was very similar to Rock Man and was around his height as well.
"Let's see… What!?"
"What's wrong?" Delta asked.
"Delta… Are ya going out with Red Sword?"
"What!? Me? Going out with Red Sword? No!"
"This mail has a photo of you two going to the Densan Internet City's newly inaugurated Navi Cinema…"
"No way!"
"… Akashi! Explain this!" Dekao called out after he looked at his PET.
"What? Gorilla Man ran out of bananas? Tell him to go compete with Donkey Kong for them!"
"No! Your little sister is dating my litter brother Chisao!"
"And what if my… Wait. Did you say my little sister?"
"I said that!"
"I have no sisters and brothers!"
"Then who's this girl dating Chisao?"
"Someone of his class or a Photoshop edit!"
"NO WAY!" Yaito yelped.
"What's wrong, Yaito – chan?" Meiru looked up from her PET.
"Listen! "Strawberry Milk Inc. with home office in Kyoto is under investigation by the Public Prosecutor's Office, suspected of sub-contracting a manufacturing company in Taiwan that employs child labor. The CEO of the company, Mr. Ichigo, has gone missing and is suspected of having fled overseas with the business assets" … What the heck!?"
"… Reeks of fake news or a troll…" Saito muttered, skeptical.
"Mail… What!? No way!" Netto gasped.
"What?"
"Sheesh! "Triple affair between two Official Net Battlers and the leader of the Hunter's Guild! Exclusive news!" … It depicts Rock Man dating both Delta and Red Sword!"
"Can't be. This is someone's idea of a joke using Photoshop!"
"This must be it, too! There's a photo of Roll dragging Rock Man with him, shopping in an expensive store, having him try on a white groom's suit! And she then tries on a bride's suit… But I'm sure Roll would never go to such stores!" Meiru exclaimed.
"By all the…!" Roll cursed.
"But… Who sends all these mails?" Saito brought up.
"This "Jupiter Warrior" character! Whoever he may be!"
"Attention, please. They will dynamite this place! Evacuate in a calmly and ordered manner while not forgetting to call for the bomb disposal squad of the Navy SEALS… Led by Peter Stillman, the mighty instructor…"
"What? The Navy SEALS…? But the Japanese police have their own bomb disposal squad, don't they?" Akashi argued.
A mass of students ran out without bothering to grab their PETs from the lockers or their shoes.
Netto's group was dragged along, and they found themselves in the middle of the street, where they struggled to break out of the mass and reunite in front of Higureya.
"What the heck!" Netto cursed.
"Someone's placed dynamite in the building?" Saito gasped.
"Attention, please. The headmaster is about to attack the vice headmaster with Visigoth fury. Please call the SWAT team!"
"What's "Visigoth fury"?" Akashi sighed, annoyed.
"Attention, please. The chemistry teacher is about to blow the school up! Please call the police!"
"The c-chemistry teacher…? Blow up the school…?" Meiru gasped.
"Attention, please. A fatty man with a moustache is about to send our top idol, Ms. Sakurai Meiru, to the grave. Come! "Protect Ms. Sakurai Squad"! Time to prove your skills!"
"That's LAME!" Meiru sighed.
"Attention, please. Mr. Akashi is about to lose his life in a silly accident! Authorize use of a Copy Roid, let Delta escort him to safety to his village!"
"Lose my life in a silly accident? No way!"
"What village?" Delta groaned.
"Attention, please. Mt. Fuji will erupt today at 6 o'clock in the afternoon. Evacuate the immediate premises!"
"Mt. Fuji is gonna wake up?" Dekao gasped.
"Attention, please. A great madame is approaching, shaking the earth. There will be manslaughter, and everyone will fall one after the other!"
"A great madame…?" Yaito sighed.
"That sounds unlikely, Ms. Yaito…" Glyde ventured.
"Attention, please. Prophet Jeremy is resting on a watery grave by now. Let us offer him the last of our admiration for his accurate prophecies which he recorded in his journal!"
"Prophet Jeremy?" They wondered.
"Look! It's the riot squad!"
Riot squad members ran in accompanied by dogs.
A crowd of curious (mainly the students who'd run out) began to gather around the school as the police formed a perimeter.
"I protest! I'm innocent! I didn't intend to attack the vice-headmaster! That Nubian scimitar in my drawer is a collector's item that I bought at an auction 11 years ago!"
The headmaster protested as he was led out by the police.
"Take your hands off me! That gunpowder wasn't there when today's chemistry class! Someone is trying to frame me!"
The chemistry teacher growled next.
"Inspector! We found genuine dynamite in the gym, the roof and the elevator's control room plus in the teachers' desks of all classrooms! We're trying to see if the dogs detect more of it!"
"This is madness!" Saito sighed.
"B-B-B-Bertie~!" A voice boomed out of nowhere.
"Who's Bertie?" Roll wondered.
"Beware! The chemistry teacher is trying to make the elixir of eternal life for Mr. Clark Kent!" The voice announced over the speakers.
"WHAT?" The chemistry teacher roared.
"It's useless to play innocent, Moriarty! I, Holmes, have uncovered each and everyone one of your tricks!" The voice claimed.
"I am not Moriarty~!" The chemistry teacher protested.
"I thought everyone had been evacuated?" The inspector asked.
"Strange… Team B! Check the broadcasting room!"
"Wait a minute, sir… There is no – one, sir. Yet the equipment is working! Maybe there's a Net Navi inside?"
"Send some police Navis to ID that Navi!"
"… Lieutenant, sir! There's a problem, sir!" A Navi reported.
"What now?"
"See! ALL Warp Points are labeled "BROADCASTING ROOM", sir! As such, we don't know which one we have to use, sir!"
"How's that possible?"
"Blame my hacker skills. Soon this world shall be plunged into despair, through the actions of the Death Club!" The voice announced.
"Death Club?" Everyone wondered.
"We've already started to move! We're not slow. Maybe you'll soon find that you're missing a few guys out there?"
"What!" The inspector exclaimed.
"And it's too late to try to find me, too. I'm faster than these slow Navis uselessly wandering around the central hub… It was all so easy, really! When you have the complicity of a real-world agent, and you can do anything at all! I now see why terrorists have it so easy to target places…! Security is so laughable, really!" The Navi sneered.
"What's your name?" The inspector demanded.
"Me? I'm Jupiter Warrior. Maybe some received the emails that I wrote! While April's Fool was way back in April, but I missed it 'cause I was busy… Anyway… I'm off. Enjoy… While you can!"
"Wait! All Police Navis! Watch all exits!"
Silence built up as the inspector nervously glanced at his wristwatch and everyone seemed to wait for something.
"Monster surprised you!"
A BGM rang out, followed by an explosion, the sounds of a shotgun and additional explosions before silence formed again.
"W-what was that?" The inspector gasped.
"We don't know, sir!"
"Check on the Police Navis!"
"… They've all been brought down, sir!"
"What! All of them?"
"Correct, sir!"
"Is there anything else?"
"We're scanning the area, sir! There are some puddles of a blue liquid which seems to generate static electricity somehow, as far as we can see through the PETs… We may need to retrieve it and send it to the MoS (Ministry of Science) for further analysis!"
"Send a squad to cleanse up and secure the area. And it'd seem we can release those two persons! We've been fooled by a terrorist who wanted to cause mass panic!" The inspector added.
"I will protest to your superiors!" The headmaster threatened.
"I will, too!"
"Feel free to!" The inspector shrugged.
"What do we do, sir?"
"Check that the school is secure and then we'll head back to the station! There'll be a pretty heated up debate there, I'm afraid!"
"Our school was targeted by terrorists! We can be lucky this guy was satisfied with just giving us a scare!" Netto sighed in relief.
"Mr. Zataki and the "Committee" will start questioning all authorities as to how someone could sneak gunpowder and dynamite into a school unchecked and unquestioned!" Akashi sighed.
"By the way… That BGM is really named "Monster surprised you" and it's from the game Xenoblade 2 that released on Winter, 2017, for the Nintendo Switch console…" Delta explained.
"Guts! Let's try to submit this email address to the Officials, too, to see if they can figure out something from it!" Guts Man suggested.
"Good idea… And we should look out for news related to this "Death Club" terrorist group. All we know is that one of them is a Navi who's named Jupiter Warrior!"
"What people!" Meiru cursed.
"Let's hope that the authorities can do something about them before they turn deadlier!" Roll sighed as well.
"Worry not! Ooyama Dekao and Guts Man will sweep the floor with them on it! We have the "S" License, after all!"
Dekao boasted as he held up his right fist.
"Beware. The sneaky Ooyama will buy out all potato chips bags of the local Family Mart store…" The earlier voice chuckled.
"What!?"
"Guts Man will become Smart Guts Man…"
"Too long! Guts!"
"Glyde will be the Gliding Battling Butler, protagonist of his own series that'll make the "strong butler" trope resurface!"
"Excuse me!?" Glyde gasped.
"And I'll gain the exclusive rights to sell merchandise!" Yaito laughed.
"Bravo, Ms. Ayanokouji. Show the plebs the power of the nobility! Especially when it comes to DX Strawberry Milk!"
"Delighted!"
"Yaito – chan! You're no nobility!" Meiru sighed.
"Who are you?" Delta questioned.
"Jupiter Warrior! A lone cowboy far, far away from home~…"
"That's taken from the Lucky Luke comic series!"
"As expected of a connoisseur!"
"Wait. Isn't it Ootsuka?" Netto suggested.
"Had the impression both he and that "Minami" spy had been too quiet for this last half a year… About time they popped up…" Saito muttered.
"Who knows? Ask Kindaichi to solve it on his grandpa's name!"
"Sheesh. Kindaichi is a fictional character!"
"You're just crossing across the plains when a giant gorilla of doom looms over you and when you see it's Lv. 84 you know you're DOOMED! DOOMED!"
"Sheesh! You meant the Territorial Barbarossa of the Xenoblade games!"
"Beware, folk charmed by Mine Fujiko! Lupin the 3rd is about to steal the headmaster's dagger!"
"Sure, sure. As if he would bother…"
"Beware. Leon, the millionaire, is going to blow up the port district just like he intended to over at Taiwan…"
"That's a joke taken from this year's Detective Conan movie, The Fist of Blue Sapphire…" Akashi sighed.
"Maybe it's a relative of yours, Akashi?"
"Sheesh. Of course not! Now go broom the living room!"
"Delighted. I'll tell Mickey to use magic on the brooms!"
"Sheesh. You're not funny!"
"Beware, my fellows… The courtesan bewitcher is coming! Mine Fujiko!"
"That joke is so overused, it hardly impresses!"
"De masu! Come out, evil spirits! I'll send you back to the Afterworld!"
"What?"
Higure Yamitarou ran out of the store, dressed in a white yukata, having a white bandana around his forehead, and yielding a wooden stick with paper stripes hanging from it.
"I'm the shaman Maeda Ichirou! De masu! Begone, evil spirits!"
"Yamitarou… Stop acting the clown…" Number Man grumbled.
"Interesting. Can that paper bite, Mr. Maeda?"
"It bites, stings and purges evil! De masu! Only for 5000 Zenny!"
"Only!? That's a scam!" Netto sighed.
"Let's go home. Mom must be worried about us by now!"
"Good idea… I guess the "Committee" agents will come ask for me, too…"
"Hmpf! I'll use my kung-fu skills to drive them away!"
"Sure, sure… I'm going home, too, and call Mom…"
"And I'll go tell everybody that I'm the descendant of the mighty Tokugawa! Bow to the mighty Princess!" Yaito giggled.
"Ms. Yaito… Don't overdo it, ma'am!" Glyde sighed.
"And this ends the preface! Come back for more!"
"Like we would! You get lost!" Akashi grumbled.
"Beware! Xehanort will come to interrogate you for information on the "Lost Masters"!"
"Kingdom Hearts next? Sheesh! What a nerd!"
"Let's let the jerk troll the walls and go home!"