Back in the TARDIS, I decided that I would convince Jack to come talk to me in the library. Leaving the Doctor to set the coordinates for the vortex, I grabbed hold of Jack's arm and steered him away. "So, Jack. I have a proposition for you." The look in his eyes surprised me; I explained quickly, before he could get the wrong idea. "I really like the Doctor." "Oh?" Somehow, even though he sounded surprised, I had a feeling he already knew. "And I was wondering if you could give me any advice on how to tell him." His eyebrows arched up; I had to fight back a giggle. "What do you need my help for, Rosie? You told me easily enough." He had a good point. "But Jack! I've tried to drop every hint possible. I've worn revealing and tight clothes. I've made suggestive hints. I've brushed up against him when we hold hands. I've done everything you told me to do! Nothing! The man is either completely oblivious or he doesn't want me." I frowned at that. "I really wanted him to want me. I know I'm not a Time Lady or an immortal type alien, but I am a woman, and I know I have needs, and I want him to be the one to cater to me." I looked up at Jack to see him peering over my shoulder with a masked expression. "Oh great. He's behind us, isn't he." Jack nodded and, summoning courage I didn't know I had, I turned around and looked him straight in the face. "Hello Rose." What was that in his eyes...he almost looked...surprised and pleased? "Doctor...I uh...well...umm I'll just be heading to my room then." I turned around and practically ran to my room. I'm pretty sure the TARDIS moved my room, because I felt like I was running for the longest time. When I finally managed to reach my room, I almost cried in relief. As I reached out to turn the doorknob, a hand on my shoulder scared me out of panic. "Rose, are you alright?" It was the Doctor, standing behind me. "You rushed away before I could say anything to you." He sounded hesitant. "Well, next time you get caught gossiping about a bloke you think highly of, you tell me how easy it is not to run away. I'm do embarrassed I could cry." What was I saying? Why did all that come out? "Why are you going to cry, Rose? I thought liking someone was a happy event." Now he sounded almost amused. Was he making fun of me? "Doctor..I..it's not what you think. I don't like anyone." Damn. This isn't how I wanted to tell him! I wanted to plan an elaborate romantic picnic or make him show me the rest of the gardens or something. "So what's the problem then?" He was going to make me say it! Right here, in the bloody hall outside my room, no romance at all. I couldn't bear to turn around. "You, Doctor. You're my problem." Damn damn damn, that came out all wrong! Well, it was partly true.
Gripping my shoulder, he turned me around to face him. That didn't mean I'd have to look him in the eyes, though. Or so I thought, until he pulled my chin up with his fingers. "And what have I done that's made your life so awful? You know, besides offerin' you all of time and space and adventure and more than you could ev..." "Doctor! It's not that..I'm not ungrateful at all." Ugh! I should just spit it out, get that smirk off his face. Which was extremely close to mine right at that moment. I hadn't noticed him moving closer until he was about two inches away, his breath softly brushing my cheek. "Than what is it that's got your little heart pounding so fast, Ms. Tyler?" Barely above a whisper, his voice caressed my ear, and I was pretty sure my knees were going to give out at any second.
"Doctor...I..um..well..I love you." I wasn't sure he'd heard me, my voice felt so small. When he pulled away from me, I didn't want to imagine the look on his face, so I clamped my eyes shut, and wished I could melt into my door. "I know you can't possibly love me back, and I know that you don't dance, Doctor, so please don't say anything. I'm sorry I ever said anything. I'll just go to bed now, and pretend this never happened, yeah?" Fumbling with my doorknob, I struggled to get away from him. I tried turning, to head into my room, but he held me there against the door. Which wasn't opening anyway. I silently cursed the TARDIS. I'm pretty sure she had something to do with that. "I don't think so, Rose." His voice...it was lower and huskier, something I hadn't expected at all. Drawing a breath, I took a chance and opened my eyes. What I saw in his eyes was something I had not in a million years thought I would see. Happiness. Desire. Need. Love...? That couldn't be right. My Doctor, who hadn't even noticed a single hint I had thrown his way, was looking at me like I was the only person in the entire universe he wanted to be around.
"Doctor?" I hoped I didn't sound too vulnerable, but I wasn't so sure I could. After all, I had just confessed my love for this man who was an alien, traveled around in a blue box, never landing anywhere he wanted to, who had gotten us in and out of trouble more times than I could count, and who had made it abundantly clear that he was not interested. But that look, that gleam in his eyes...that said something else entirely. "Oh, Rose" he began, looking at me so intently I had to fight the urge to look away, "how could you ever love someone like me? I mean, I've killed my own race! I've done terrible things. I don't deserve anyone as fantastic as you, Rose. As much as I've wante..." His expression plainly showed the grief he kept locked up all the time, and so I did the only thing I could think of-I kissed him.
TBC