Chapter Three: Recollection

.

.

a.p.o.v

One month later

"All right, Em, I'm just getting into a cab," I said as I awkwardly opened the car door, "I'll talk to you later."

"Sounds good, short stuff, see you tomorrow," he replied.

I grinned at the nickname and hung up the phone, slipping into the back of a cab. We had been going over the final plans for Rose's birthday party tomorrow because Emmett wanted everything to be perfect. While he always made her birthday a big deal, this year was a little different.

This year, Rose was going to announce that she was pregnant.

They had been trying for well over a year, and up until now, they hadn't been able to conceive. I was sure the copious amounts of sex they were having hadn't been bothering Emmett in the least – or Rose, for that matter – but she had been getting...depressed. She was still hopeful, but each time she read the negative results on the pregnancy tests, the light would die in her eyes.

Imagine her surprise when she finally took one that was positive.

To celebrate the amazing news, Emmett wanted this birthday to be special. He planned an elaborate gathering at her favourite restaurant, inviting her closest friends and her parents. She had no idea how big the party really was and I knew she would absolutely love it.

I relaxed in the back of the cab, watching the blur of traffic go by as the sun faded in the sky. It had been an unusually busy day at work, filled with appointments and fittings. I didn't normally work so late into the evening but I didn't mind it because I was grateful for the distraction; anything to take my mind off the future.

I handed the cab driver money as I got out at my apartment, pulling my keys from my purse to unlock to doors to the building. I grabbed my mail on the way up, sifting through it and marking things as 'important' and 'useless'. When I got to my door, I hadn't even realized the small package resting on the floor until I ineptly tripped over it.

"What the...?"

I bent down, snatching up the rectangular package. A small sticky note adorned the front, informing me that my next door neighbour, Mrs. Anthony, had signed for it and left it there for me. I smiled at how nice she was and made a mental note to thank her the next time I saw her.

I peeled the sticky tab off the front, casually glancing down to the return address.

Lauren Mallory.

Of all the names I could have imagined...

I swung the door shut behind me, abandoning the package in the front hall like it was going to bite me if I held onto it for another second. I wasn't sure what I thought would be in there; all I know was that I wasn't in any hurry to find out.

I went on with the rest of my night, making dinner and watching a few of my shows. It was low-key and relaxing, the only problem was that I couldn't stop thinking about the stupid package. No matter how hard I tried to forget about it, the possibility of what could be inside was nagging at me.

Frustrated and tired, I lugged myself to the bathroom to get ready for bed. After I performed my nightly routine, I curled up in the cool sheets, slowly allowing my eyes to drift shut. I was just on the edge of unconsciousness when I abruptly jolted awake. My entire body shook me from sleep and I groaned, turning over. I laid there for a while and tried to feel as relaxed as before, but I found it impossible because my mind was too active.

I couldn't stop thinking about that package.

With an irritated sigh, I went to get it. I rubbed my palms over my eyes, grabbed the package from the hall, and carried it back to my room. I crawled up on my bed, cradling it in my lap as I looked down at the name. I pulled my hair back into a loose pony tail before I carefully tore through the brown paper and took out something that strikingly resembled a yearbook.

Rainier Beach Class of 1989

Alumni Profiles

I smiled at the words printed across the front, finally understanding the purpose of the questionnaire. A quick glance at the first page told me that every former student who responded to Lauren would have their profile in this makeshift yearbook...along with their graduation picture.

I laughed in remembrance as I looked through the first few, coming across pictures of students I could hardly recall and others that brought back a rush of memories. I grimaced as I flipped to my page and quickly turned it, trying to forget the insanely wild hair I used to have. I guess it was popular in the eighties, but looking back on it now made me want to smack myself.

Big hair and bright colours.

Damn the eighties.

I continued to flip through the pages, reading up on people. It was interesting to see what everyone had been doing since leaving Rainier, accomplishing things you never thought they would, going on to do something extraordinary. I looked through the book for over an hour, checking up on old friends, careful to avoid a certain name.

I was disappointed that I couldn't seem to find the profiles of either Angela Weber or Ben Cheney – friends I'd regretfully lost touch with – but I hoped they would be at the reunion. It would be nice to see them again after so long. I hated that we'd lost each other since high school.

After I had been through every profile – twice – I decided to just bite the bullet, so to speak. I paused on Lauren's page, lifting the corner and thumbing the smooth paper. I wanted nothing more than to close the book and burn it to ash, but I knew the curiosity would swallow me.

So I did it, I turned the page, and my heart jumped up into my throat.

Edward Masen.

The face of the boy I had fallen in love with stared back at me; that perfect smile and those amazing eyes. The familiarity of his expression was all wrong to me and I looked away, hating that his betrayal still bothered me. I should have gotten over it years ago, but looking at his graduation picture only served to twist the knife.

It forced me to remember everything I had tried to forget.

.

.

One month later

"Okay...this is me," I said with a shrug, turning to my moral support as I stopped in front of security. Rose, Emmett, and Felix had come with me to the airport to say goodbye, to reassure me that I was strong and that I could do this. I appreciated the faith they had in me and honestly felt better because of it.

I couldn't explain it, but this trip seemed...different. While I knew what I would be facing by going to my high school reunion, I also had no idea. There were so many things that could happen over the next few days that I felt equal amounts of excited and nervous.

Rose was right...change is good.

I said goodbye to Emmett and Felix, suffering the bone-crushing hugs they so willingly reserved for me. I protested as they each took their turns squashing me but my pleas fell on extremely deaf ears. I felt like a limp noodle afterwards as they wandered away and left me and Rose to have a moment alone.

"Have a good flight, okay?" she said with a comforting smile, "Call me when you land."

"I will," I replied, leaning in to give her a hug and a quick peck on the cheek, "and take care of the little one while I'm gone," I nodded to her stomach, "and those bozos over there."

When I jerked my head toward Emmett and Felix, Rose laughed, giving me a final hug before I waved the three of them goodbye.

The flight from New York to Seattle was short but boring. I took a magazine to keep me occupied and also brought along the yearbook Lauren had sent me. I flipped through it again, reacquainting myself with my old classmates for what seemed like the hundredth time.

It might have been repetitive of me, but it was good, because I no longer felt my heart race when I turned to Edward's page.

Edward.

I expected to see a different person when I looked at his profile, but the man I read about was someone I didn't even know. He was now a big-time music producer in Los Angeles, with a wife and a daughter. It had always been his fantasy in high school to make it as a famous musician and I found it fitting that he had gone into the music industry.

I was actually happy for him.

I admit that I was still a little resentful about what he had done to me in high school, but I wasn't seventeen anymore. I was a thirty-seven year-old woman who had finally realized that life was far too short to hold grudges.

I was tired of missing out on the important things.