Chapter Four: Determination

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a.p.o.v

I stood in the elevator, my purse clutched in my hands as I watched the light pass from one number to the next. With each descending floor, I took a deep breath.

I can do this.

I repeated my mantra in my head, confident and determined the closer I got to the lobby that I could go in there and face my past. I was in my incredibly expensive Jimmy's and a fabulous, green satin dress that hugged me in all the right places.

With the perfect accessories to compliment my outfit, I felt like a million bucks.

When the elevator finally reached the lobby, a rush of nerves flooded to my stomach. I pushed my anxiety aside and headed towards the Terrace, where the first night of the reunion was scheduled to kick off with cocktails.

I rounded the corner into a wide hallway, catching sight of a long, narrow table set up in front of the doors leading to the Terrace. As I approached, I saw that there was a woman behind the table, carefully re-organizing the small pins that were arranged in straight lines.

"Uh...hi," I said awkwardly, "I'm here for the Rainier reunion."

When the woman looked up at me, I didn't even have glance at her nametag to guess who it was.

"Lauren Mallory?" I asked.

She knit her brows together in thought before a smile lit up her face. "Alice Brandon!" she exclaimed. Before I knew it, she was around the table, embracing me tightly as she rocked us back and forth. "You look amazing! How have you been?" she asked with exuberance, "I was so happy when you RSVP'd."

"I've been great, thanks," I said sincerely, "how about you?"

"Oh, you know," she said with a wave of her hand, "things have been good, just a bit hectic lately."

She smiled as she headed back around the table and I smiled too. She hadn't changed much since high school. While I could most certainly tell that she had aged, and that her body had adjusted since giving birth, she still looked just as beautiful as she had senior year. She still had the long, blond hair and the striking, blue eyes.

"Here you go," she said, handing me my nametag, "just pin it to your dress or something, so people can see it."

"Oh, thanks," I replied dumbly, taking the little button. I didn't really want to pin it to such a nice dress, but I held my tongue and did it. As I was brushing my hair over my shoulders, I asked, "Uh...you know who's all checked in, right?"

Lauren tilted her head slightly and nodded, probably figuring where I was going with this.

"Has...um, has Edward Masen checked in yet, by any chance?" I inquired apprehensively.

She bit her lip, "Yes, he has. Came in not too long ago, actually...with his wife."

"Right," I mumbled under my breath, suddenly feeling like my chest was on fire, "okay...thanks. I'll see you inside later?"

"Of course," she replied with a soft smile.

With my prior determination long gone, I hesitantly walked into the Terrace. The lights were dimmed slightly and dozens of people milled around the large space, talking and drinking animatedly with former friends. I stayed close to the wall, darting my eyes around the room for a sign of Edward. I had no idea what his wife looked like, but I imagined someone tall and beautiful, like Lauren or Rose.

I spotted the bar at the back of the room and sighed in relief. I most certainly needed a drink.

I avoided everyone else as I made my way to the bar, trying to cover my face with my hair so nobody would recognize me. I hopped up on one of the barstools when I got there, twisting slightly to take stock of where I was in relation to everyone else. I scanned the crowd thoroughly, feeling as my hands began to shake in uncertainty.

I felt stupid for being so damn nervous, but I couldn't help it.

"Can I get you something?" someone asked from behind me.

"Dirty martini," I replied without turning around, "extra olives." I squinted as I catalogued the faces of all my former classmates, and when I casually glanced back towards the entrance, I did a double-take. I had found what I was searching for. Edward was near the entrance, looking impossibly handsome in a suit as he laughed with a man who vaguely resembled Tyler Crowley.

I turned abruptly and put both hands on the bar, trying to keep it together. "Better make that two martinis," I told the bartender.

I looked up as he poured my drink, and when my eyes met those of the extremely attractive man on the other side of the bar, I forgot why I was upset. The bartender smirked as he brought up another glass and began to pour me a second martini.

"I take it high school was a bitch?" he asked curiously.

I bit my lip as he added extra olives to both martinis and I nodded as he passed me a glass. "Yeah," I replied quietly, "something like that." I glanced back up at him as I took a sip, meeting his gaze again as I swallowed a mouthful of alcohol.

"Uh, I'm Alice," I said, trying to shake off my attraction to the sexy stranger.

"Jasper," he replied, reaching out to take my hand. He grasped it tightly, green eyes boring into mine the entire time as his long fingers closed around my wrist. The heat of the skin-to-skin contact was overwhelming and I leaned forward, completely consumed in him.

The way he was looking at me was startling.

"Excuse me, can I get a drink?"

The voice of a man broke the strange moment between me and Jasper. It was then that I realized he was simply holding my hand, the pretence of shaking it forgotten. I pulled it back like he had shocked me, cradling my hand in my lap as I picked up my martini and drank the rest of it.

Jasper moved on to serve the man at the bar and I couldn't help that I looked in his direction. I watched as he took the man's order, working with precision and ease. The sleeves of his black dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows, showcasing his toned arms and the small sliver of a tattoo that ended just below the shirt. He lifted his hand to brush his dirty blond hair from his eyes, and when I followed the movement with my own, I became conscious of the fact that I was staring.

I had definitely been ogling the sexy bartender.

I quickly darted my eyes from Jasper and started on my second martini, feeling my cheeks flush. I turned away from the bar to try to gather myself, but I could still feel him there. For some reason, my body was aware that Jasper wasn't far away.

I think I blushed a little more.

I took a calming breath as I sipped my drink, looking around the Terrace for people I recognized. I found Edward again out of sheer, dumb luck, and instead of feeling anxious, I felt...good. I mean, I wasn't in any rush to go up to him and say hello, but his presence didn't make me nervous like it had mere moments ago.

It was such a relief.

I smiled to myself as I slowly drank my second martini, also finding others such as Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley (now Newton), and Sam Uley. It was strange to see everyone interacting with one another, how some people seemed awkward while others acted like no time at all had passed since they had last seen their classmates.

I knew for certain that I would be awkward, which is why I was biding my time and relaxing before I started reminiscing about a point in my life I would rather forget. Warmth tingled up my spine as I turned back to the bar and set my empty glass down on the countertop.

Jasper was there, surprising me with his closeness.

"Oh," I gasped, "hi."

"Hey," he said with an easy smile, causing dimples to form at the corners of his mouth. The sweet indents somehow made him sexier and I let out a shaky breath, trying to keep myself from staring at his lips.

"Can...I get another martini?" I asked, sliding my glass over the counter towards him.

Jasper picked up both glasses, grazing my fingers and winking at me as he responded, "Sure thing."

"Oh God," I mumbled under my breath as he walked away.

I avoided ogling him this time as he made my drink. Instead, I took to folding a blood red cocktail napkin as I waited for him to finish. He added extra olives to my martini and I smiled up at him as he set the drink in front of me.

"Thank you," I said, twisting the stem of my glass between my fingers.

"No worries," he replied, leaning casually with his hands on the bar. "So, Alice...should I even ask why such a beautiful woman is alone at the bar of her high school reunion, knocking back martinis?" Jasper inquired.

I took a generous sip of my drink and shook my head, "No, you shouldn't."

"Fair enough," he conceded. He bent further to rest on his elbows and whispered, "I take it you're trying to avoid a certain ex-boyfriend?"

My eyes snapped up to his, my expression sober as he hit the nail on the head.

"Ex-girlfriend?" he joked in mock surprise when I didn't respond.

I laughed at his playfulness and shook my head, "No...you were right, ex-boyfriend. It – it's just that it was a long time ago and I'm still kind of...self-conscious...about what happened."

"You?" he asked incredulously, "you're self-conscious?" When I replied with a shrug he continued, "You haven't seen this guy in, what, twenty years?"

"About that," I answered quietly.

He shook his head, "Well...I don't know what you looked like back then, but if this is what you look like now," he paused as he met my gaze, "you'll knock that guy off his feet, no question about it."

Heat spread up my shoulders and neck, colouring my cheeks as Jasper's compliment made my heart thump unevenly in my chest. It was possibly the nicest thing anyone had said to me in my life, and to hear it from such an attractive man was...exciting.

I kind of wanted to jump him.

"Jasper...you're too nice," I said in embarrassment.

"Sweetheart, I'm just tellin' the truth," Jasper replied with a sexy grin. "And you..." he continued as he leaned closer, "are beautiful. I have no doubt that whatever guy you're trying to impress will be floored when he sees you."

"You're very talkative for a bartender," I said, mischievously narrowing my eyes at him. I was only teasing him because his compliments were making me uncomfortable, in a really good way. Not that I didn't appreciate them...I appreciated them too much. If he told me one more time that I was beautiful, I might have jumped over the bar and mauled him like a jungle cat.

"I'm observant," he corrected, "I'm merely sharing my findings."

"Observant," I repeated with an arched brow, "sure."

He smirked at me and rapped his knuckles against the bar top. "Now get out there and enjoy that party," he said with a nod towards the rest of the room, "you're keeping me from my other customers."

A quick glance down the bar told me that Jasper wasn't kidding about the fact that I was keeping him from his job. I bit my lip at how I had distracted him, and with a final wink, Jasper set off to fill orders, leaving me alone with my martini.

Well, now is a good a time as any, I suppose.

I slipped off the stool with my purse in one hand and my glass in the other, looking back over my shoulder at Jasper. He caught my eye as he poured a drink, giving me a reassuring smile; dimples and all.

Feeling significantly better since I walked through the doors, I started catching up with my old classmates. I talked for a while with Jessica Newton, listening as she went on about the last twenty years and how much things had changed. She had definitely mellowed out since I had last seen her, going from the high school gossip and perky cheerleader to the archetypal soccer mom.

She and Mike were happily married with three kids, and one on the way.

"How far along are you?" I asked, motioning to her bulging belly.

Mike took that point to appear, patting his hand over Jessica's stomach. "She's about six months," he said with a smile. I smiled back at how happy they seemed. They had been voted 'most likely to get married' senior year as they had been dating since they were juniors, and to see that they were still together was astonishing.

It also made me feel about three inches tall.

I left Mike and Jessica after another few minutes of chatting to talk to Tyler Crowley. From what I could tell, he was already three sheets to the wind. He was boisterous and loud, as well as being way too touchy-feely for my liking. He put his hand on my arms and shoulders as we caught up with each other, making me so uncomfortable I could hardly stand it.

Shivers ran up my spine as I walked away from him, hating that he'd had his hands on me at all. He had been an all right looking guy in high school, but now he was just plain creepy.

It was unnerving.

I made sure to avoid Edward as I moved around the room, chatting with a few other classmates that I remembered. When I noticed a large bulletin board on the other side of the room, next to a cluster of chairs, I became curious. I wandered away from the group I had been talking to, finding myself drawn to the board and the words printed across the top.

In Memory

I gasped in shock as the photos of Angela and Ben stared back at me, feeling as my eyes stung with tears for the friends I had unknowingly lost. The small blurb beneath their pictures told me they had been involved in a car accident three years after graduation. While Angela had died on impact, Ben had passed a few days later in the hospital.

My chest tightened painfully at the fact that I hadn't known this.

With a heavy heart and a damper on my mood, I headed back to the bar. I had a sudden compulsion to see Jasper; I hadn't seen him in well over an hour and I missed his dimpled smile. I set my purse down on the end of the bar, watching inconspicuously as Jasper served the other guests. His hair was more tousled now and he had undone a few buttons on his shirt, giving me a glimpse of the pale skin beneath.

He looked like he had stepped out of a magazine.

I quietly watched as he worked, drumming my fingers against the dark, cherry wood as I racked up memories of Angela and Ben. They had both been close friends of mine in high school, but going our separate ways after graduation had severed the lines of communication. I wished more than anything that I could go back in time and make sure we kept in touch.

Anything would have been better than finding out now that they had passed away at such a young age.

I was just about to take a seat on one of the stools when a dirty martini with extra olives was placed in front of me. I smiled down at the drink before looking up, subjecting myself to the way Jasper's lips pulled up into a grin.

"You okay?" he asked earnestly.

I nodded. "Uh...yeah, I think so," I responded, "I just found out that some friends of mine passed away a while ago and...I didn't know about it."

"Oh," he said with a deep frown, "I'm sorry about your friends."

I waved my hand in dismissal, "It's okay. I was just...overwhelmed."

He nodded slowly and asked, "Is there anything I can do?"

I smiled at his thoughtfulness. "No...this is fine," I motioned to the drink, "thanks, though."

He smiled in return as his eyes flickered down to the other end of the bar. "I'll be back in a minute, yeah?"

I sipped my martini as Jasper served other guests, brushing my bangs out of my eyes as I watched the growing crowd of people. I hadn't seen Edward in a while but I was starting to think that I would be okay to talk to him...maybe.

I slipped an olive into my mouth when a short brunette came to stand at the bar next to me, trying to get Jasper's attention. She looked back at me with a small smile and a polite, "Hello."

I tried to place her at Rainier but I couldn't seem to remember who she was. She didn't exactly look familiar so I chanced asking, "Did you go to Rainier, or are you a guest?"

"Oh," she shook her head, "no, I didn't go to Rainier. I'm just a guest. My husband went to Rainier."

"Ah," I replied with a nod, "that's why I don't recognize you." We both laughed and I introduced myself, "I'm Alice."

The woman shook my hand, her smile fading as her eyes were drawn down to my nametag. "Alice Brandon?" she asked. I knit my brows together in perplexity and she cleared her throat, "I'm Bella...Bella Masen."

I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.

This was Edward's wife.

She looked nothing like I had imagined. I pictured her being tall and statuesque, with a presence that would make me feel like I was invisible. Bella was none of those things. She was a petite brunette who seemed humble and darling.

"Oh," I blanched, suddenly at a loss for words, "uh...I-I'm sorry, I have to go."

I turned to leave, but Bella protested, "Wait, please!"

"Look," I began hastily, "I appreciate whatever it is you're trying to do...but I-I can't right now. I'm sorry."

A jumbled mess of emotion, I fled as fast as I could, my steps hurried as I left the Terrace and practically ran down the hallway. I stopped when I rounded the corner, thumping my head back against the wall as my chest rose and fell with my rapid breaths.

I needed to get it together.

I slowed my pace as I headed to the elevator, trying to regulate my breathing so I didn't end up passing out from a lack of air. I ran my fingers through my hair, pushing it from my eyes as I stopped at the elevator doors and pressed the button.

I couldn't believe what had just happened.

"Alice!"

I turned quickly at the sound of my name, watching as Jasper ran towards me. He slowed as he approached, breathing heavily. "Jesus...woman – did someone light a fire under your ass?" he asked sarcastically.

I chuckled at how out of breath he was and shrugged, "I guess you could say that."

He put his hands on top of his head and said, "Okay...well I didn't plan on doing it like this, but you sort of gave me no choice, so...here." He pulled a red cocktail napkin from his pocket, handing it to me. I cocked my brow, taking it between my fingers as confusion settled in.

"Um...thanks?"

He rolled his eyes, "Turn it over."

I did as he said, feeling more than giddy when I saw that his phone number was written on the other side of the napkin.

"I don't know if you have a boyfriend or anything," he explained, "but I was watching you tonight and – I just think you're...amazing, Alice. You're beautiful and funny, and I might be out of line here, but...I'd really like to see you again." I opened my mouth to respond and he added, "Only if you want to."

I smirked at his unnecessary rambling, "Jasper, I'd love to see you again."

He took a deep breath, "No boyfriend?" he inquired.

I shook my head, "No boyfriend."

He sighed, "Good, because I've also been wanting to do this."

Jasper took the final step to get to me, slipping one hand around the back of my neck as the other went around my ribs, pulling me flush against him. I gasped as his lips met mine, lifting my hands to his collar and twisting his shirt in my fingers as I stepped up on my toes, bringing us closer together.

I parted my lips in time with his, my tongue seeking out Jasper's as his arm tightened around my back and he walked us forward. I gently bit on his bottom lip as I bumped into the wall, loving the quiet, guttural sound that came from the back of his throat. He pressed his hips into mine as I nibbled his lip, tangling his fingers into the hairs at the nape of my neck.

The intimacy and passion of the kiss we shared was like nothing I'd ever experienced. It was the kind of connection that made your heart race and your stomach fill with butterflies. What I felt as I kissed Jasper was stronger than anything I had felt before, with any man.

As I stood in his arms in the deserted lobby of the Fairmont hotel, my pulse quickened.

Jasper was the type of guy I could see myself falling for.