Chapter 10

Estefania's POV

I couldn't sleep. I just laid there, staring at the ceiling, at the wall, through the window, playing with my phone, returning emails, drawing, writing… doing anything but sleeping. That's why its 7:00 AM and I'm already showered and dressed and applying my make-up. I was working with my eyeliner when my phone buzzed next to me… almost making me pull my eye out. I place a hand over my chest, and pick up the phone… seeing the same number that's been calling me ever since I left NYC. I ignore the call, and proceed with my makeup. The phone buzzed again, letting me know I had a new voice-mail… again. I throw the phone into my purse and head downstairs to go make some coffee. When I enter the kitchen, I'm surprised to see my sister with a full breakfast on the small kitchen table. "Hey" She said. "I didn't know what you liked, so I made a little bit of everything" She said smiling. "Would you like some juice?" I shake my head no. "Oh, right… you hate OJ" She says, moving in every direction through the kitchen, frying this, flipping that.

"Do you have some coffee?" I ask. She points to the small coffee pot in a corner of the counter, and points where the mugs are. I grab one and pour a decent amount of coffee, that I knew I was going to need for this day.

"The sugar is right there" She says pointing to the small container. "We have Splenda, if you don't drink regular sugar" She says smiling, turning off the stove and placing the bacon into a big plate, taking it over to the table.

"I don't drink it with sugar" I said sipping at the hot liquid, hissing when it hit my tongue. I hear my sister chuckle.

"Can you grab the plates?" She says, pointing to the cabinet behind me.

"Are you feeding an army or something?" I asked while I grabbed 2 plates and placed it at the table. It was a ridiculously amount of food for 2 average girls.

"No" She says, almost rolling her eyes. "Sisky always come to eat here when he's in town. I usually make him something, but since you're here, I think we can, you know… bond" She says, placing 2 more plates at the tables and all the silverware. I eye her closely. She looks so… grown. Wow, have I been using that word a lot. "Take a sit and lets talk" She says, sitting down. I sit down and just fidget with my mug. "So…" She starts.

"So…" I say.

"You know what day is today, right?" She says, staring at her OJ. I was trying to forget about it, but I guess we were going to have to talk about it sooner or later.

"Yeah. I'm not thrilled about it though" I say, being blunt and honest.

"You're gonna see Mom. She is so happy you came back. It almost killed her when you left"

"I'm surprised he didn't killed her first" I mutter, knowing she heard me.

"It wasn't always that bad. We had our shared of good moments" She says and I scoff. I'm pissed. I'm pissed that she's defending that son of a bitch. Pissed that she's trying to see the good side in this.

"Don't" I say through clenched teeth.

"Don't what?"

"Don't do that. Don't try to act like it didn't happen. Don't try to make me feel sympathy for him. Don't try to justify his actions" I say turning to see her. I see her almost scare. "I came back for you. Not for her… and certainly, not for him. He can rot in hell for all I care" I say, getting up.

"Nia, he's our dad"

"He is not my dad. He never was a dad. Not to you, not to me. He never was a husband either. And he shouldn't be called a man"

"Where are you going?" She asks, almost desperate. Maybe she thinks I'm gonna run away again.

"I need a cigarette" I say, exiting through the kitchen door. I knew coming back and dealing with all this wasn't going to be easy, but I never knew it was going to be this hard. Especially, when I feel my sister is making it harder than it should be.

William's POV

I'm walking with Sisky to the front of the house. I don't remember ever waking up so early when I'm home. But for her, I would do anything. We usually just walk right in, but I think Sisky is scared of Estefania. He told me she looked so hard and cold, like she could slap him or scowled him. But I know better. She's far from that. She's so fragile… you almost don't want to breathe when you're next to her cause she might get flown away. I wasn't expecting for the door to be opened by a choked in tears Cassidy. Sisky immediately went to her side, while I stared at her hanging so tightly to Adam. I felt myself panting, fear invading my whole body. She couldn't. She just couldn't have done that. Not after last night. She can't do this again. I walk into the house, looking around for her, but I can't see her. "She did" I mutter to myself. Adam and Cassidy weren't able to hear because of Cass' sobs. I turned to look at Cassidy and hug her. I hug her because, if I close my eyes, maybe I can pretend she's her. Maybe I can pretend that this time, I got a chance to say goodbye.

"Is everything okay?" I hear someone ask. I turn to look straight to the eyes that chase me in my dreams. I walk really fast to her and hug her. I hug her with everything I've got in me. She's taken back, not sure how to respond.

"You shouldn't smoke anymore. It doesn't suit you. You're way too pretty to have such a nasty habit" I say, staring at her. I could smell how she drenched of the just smoked cigarette. She looks away from me, to look to the mess behind me… a mess called Cassidy.

"Cass, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that" She says, walking towards her. Cassidy lets Sisky go but doesn't move towards her sister. She turned to look at her, with eyes filled with hurt, anger and… hate?

"FUCK YOU, ESTEFANIA" She screams, leaving the whole room shocked. "Fuck you. You've only been here for a fucking day, one fucking day, and you already messed everything up. I don't care that you are sorry. I don't care that this is difficult for you. Don't you think this is hard for me too? You think I didn't have plans for my life? You think I wanted to be stuck in this fucked up family forever? Uh?" She asks and I see Nia. She's not shocked, she's not even surprised.

"Cass, why don't we calm down?" I say walking next to Estefania.

"No" I hear Estefania say through clenched teeth. "Let her"

"Nia…" I start but she cuts me.

"No" She said glaring at me. Then she turned to Cassidy and walked towards her. "Go on" She says to Cassidy. I think this scared Cass. She went from furious to scare in just seconds. "GO ON" Nia screams and I see Cass coward from her. "Don't you dare" Nia says, all of the sudden furious.

"Nia, I…" She never finished her sentence cause Estefania slapped her. She slapped her sister. I couldn't move. I cannot believe she hit her sister… and she didn't even look regretful.

"What the hell is you're problem?" Sisky cries, grabbing Cass in case Nia decided to hurt her again. Cass just looked at her while tears fell from her wide eyes.

"Say it" She says.

"Nia…" I started but she cut me off again.

"Say it. For once and for all, Cass… say what you're feeling. Say what you're thinking. Say that you hate me because I'm the reason you stayed behind. Say that you hate me because my life should be yours. Say that you hate me. SAY IT" She screams.

"I HATE YOU" Cass screams. "I hate you. I hate you because you get everything you want. I hate you because you don't appreciate everything you have. I hate you because everything is about you. You left. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LEFT AND THEY CARED MORE ABOUT THE DAUGHTER THAT ABANDON THEM INSTEAD OF THE ONE THAT STAYED. I never existed for them after you left. Everything was about little Estefania. You just didn't take my future with you. You took my best friend, my sister, my other half… you took our parents. You are a selfish bitch. You never cared about anyone here. You didn't care about me. You don't care about Mom. About ANYBODY" Cass screams.

"I think we should calm down" I say, trying to stop this madness. What the hell is going on?

"You should hate her too, William. She left you too" She says, looking at me. I lowered my gaze, feeling Nia's stare in me. "Why don't you tell her? Did you know he was mess when you left? Did you know you broke his heart? Did you know that of all the people that you left behind, he was the one that hurt the most? You hurt the only person that really loved you. That would've done ANYTHING for you. You're such a coward, Estefania, that I'm surprised you even came back" She hiss that last part, and that's when I turn to look at Estefania. I know this isn't gonna go pretty… not when Nia has that look.

Estefania's POV

"Are you done?" I say, trying to keep myself under control.

"Not even close" She says. "I shouldn't have asked you to come back. You are drama. You've always been drama. Everything you do brings a problem, and guess what? You're not the one that has to deal with it. We are. Like always did, like we always do… like we always will" She says, shuddering. I see she's near a nervous break down, but I needed this. She needed this. She needed to let go of everything. "I hate you… I hate you so much. You are the person I should be. You have what I should have… I hate you! I HATE YOU! I hate you…" She says breaking down, falling to her knees.

"You don't want this" I say. Now it's my turn. "You don't want my life. I wouldn't want you to have my life… because I don't hate you" She looks at me and I can feel William's eyes on me. "You think I'm happy? You think it was easy for me to give up my life for nothing? You think it was easy for me to start my life? You're so stupid. I WAS 15… I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT LIFE WAS. I didn't know that the real world is not what's painted to be. You think I'm happy? I'm far from happy" I say. "Everything I have, everything I am, is because I had to learn how to survive. I didn't have a home, I didn't have a secure roof over me. I didn't have anyone to care about me over there. I didn't have a hot meal everyday. Yes, you stayed here. Yes, you had to put up with everything that fucker did. You even could allow yourself to think and worry about me… but that was all. That was all that you had to worry about. You had everything else. You had your friends. You know what I had? NOTHING" I say, almost panting for how pissed I am. Does she seriously think she had the tough path and I got the easy way out. "I didn't have anyone to trust, to talk, to cry… nobody. I didn't have a job. For God's sake, I didn't even finished high school. I had to worry everyday about were I was going to sleep, if I was going to eat… if I was going to survive! But you know what kept me going?" I look at her. She's crying and barely shakes her head. "You" She rapidly looks at me. "You kept me going. You made me who I am. I promised myself that I would be someone… for you. That I would take you away from here, from all this, and just give you happiness. And when I became someone, I would come back for you… and I did. I came back for you" I say, kneeling in front of her. "Because I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy because if you're not… then I failed. I failed to myself and most importantly to you" I say, allowing myself to cry. Cry for her… cry because of her. She hugged me tightly. And I hugged her the same way because everything I did, do and will ever do is for her… because of her. "You're my sister. How can you think that you didn't matter to me? How can you think that I ran away from you?" I say to her between sobs. Adam and William just stand there, witnessing how I was trying to mend my sisters' heart… to mend my heart.

"I just want you to be happy. You always wanted to be happy and I thought you were. I thought you had everything you wanted. I'm sorry" She says to me and I feel her tears soak my shirt. "I don't hate you, Nia. I love you" She says. I let her go and look into her teary eyes.

"I know. I love you too" I say to her and I mean it. I mean it more than anything. And in this moment, right here and now, is when I realize that I'm not gonna be able to go back. I won't be able to leave her. I slowly turn to look into William's eyes… I won't be able to leave him too.

Soundtrack:

1. Pitbull - Brasil Street Remix (Calle Ocho)

2. Cobra Starship - Placer culpable

3. Fall Out Boy - The (Shipped) Gold standard

4. All Time Low - Sick little games

5. Mayday Parade - Miserable at best

6. Taking Back Sunday - MakeDamnSure

7. Panic at the Disco - We're so starving

8. The All-American Rejects - Swing swing

9. All Time Low - Poppin'

10. Escape The Fate - Friends & alibies

11. The Ataris - Boys of summer

12. Augustana - Sweet & low

13. The Academy Is... - In the rearview

14. Cobra Starship - Prostitution is the world's oldest profession (And I, Dear Madame, am a professional)

15. Panic! At the Disco - But its better if you do

16. All TIme Low - Dear Maria, count me in

17. Mayday Parade - Black cat

18. Poison - Nothin but a good time

19. Bon Jovi - Say it isn't so

20. Guillermo Davila - Barco a la deriba

ENJOY!!! ;)