Photo

By: afallenblackrose

AN: watches for the angry mob with torches and pitchforks Before the mob kills me, I'm sorry for not updating in such a long time. But I'm updating now, so don't kill me.

Chapter Six: The Way We Were

I kept trying to wake up as Paul nuzzled my neck. But life decided to piss me off and not let me regain consciousness from this freaky nightmare.

I sighed in defeat, but Paul took it as a sign to move his lips to my own. As he kissed me I started to feel the urge…

…the urge to throw up.

I wrestled my lips away from Paul's and made a dash to the bathroom.

"Suze? Are you okay?" Paul asked as I emptied my stomach into the toilet bowl.

"Do not come in," I groaned. "This isn't pretty." Paul walked in anyway and bent down and felt my forehead.

"You're not running a fever," he said. "Was it something you ate last night?"

"I don't know," I groaned as I threw up again. Then a small calendar caught my eye.

"No, f'ing way," I muttered.

"What is it?" Paul asked. I looked at him then at the calendar and back again. Just the thought of what this could mean sent me vomiting into the toilet again.

"Look, I have to go to work," he said then looked at me. "Or I could call in sick. Are you going to be okay?" I glanced at him.

"Go ahead," I whispered. "I'll be fine."

"Okay," he said and kissed my forehead. As soon as he left the bathroom I grabbed the calendar and flipped through it.

I was three weeks late. I groaned.

Then I emptied my stomach one last time. What was with this freaky nightmare? Was it trying to make me not choose Paul?

Mission accomplished, I never was going to choose Paul anyway.

Now, can I go home?

Or better yet, show me a future with Jesse!

I closed my eyes and waited. Three minutes passed and still nothing. I opened my eyes and I was still in the bathroom. What could that mean? Was I supposed to live this future out until I regained consciousness? Or…

I shook my head not daring to believe it.

Did it mean that I had no future with Jesse? I sat on the floor lost in thought. Was Paul actually right? Were Jesse and I never going to happen? Tears started to form in my eyes. I wouldn't (read couldn't) believe it. Jesse and I were meant to be with each other. Sure, we've only kissed once and we haven't talked about it since, but why else would he have kissed me?

Unless it was an experiment to see if there was something there between us.

And Jesse felt nothing so now he was writing it off like it never happened in the first place. My heart sunk further into the pit of my empty stomach.

I wiped the tears that continued to fall from my eyes. I couldn't cry in a situation like this. I was stuck in the future where I was married to Paul Slater!

I had to find my own way out of this nightmare. My stomach started to churn again.

I flushed the toilet and got up from the bathroom floor. I had to go to the drug store to find a pregnancy test.

As I washed my hands something strange happened. I felt like I was outside of my body. I looked around and sure enough the body in front of the sink didn't move.

Wait a minute, why was this happening? I thought I was supposed to live through this future. Not watch it like some damn TV show!

The room around me faded out into a dining room. It was dark outside and I was staring at myself at the head of the table.

That's when Paul walked in.

"Suze, I'm home!" He exclaimed. I stared silently as my body didn't move.

"I'm in the dining room," the future Suze said. Footsteps echoed into the room. Why was this place so enormous if it was just Paul and I?

Paul walked into the dining room.

"Something smells great," he commented as he sniffed the pot on the stove. "Spaghetti?" The future me nodded. Paul helped himself to a large portion and then sat down across from the future me.

He ate slowly and stared at the future me worried. The future Suze wasn't eating her food.

"Eat something!" I exclaimed to her. Both Paul and the future Suze looked up in wonderment.

Damn, I forgot I was a "ghost."

"Strange," Paul whispered. "I could have sworn…"

"I know," Suze said. "But maybe we're just imagining things?" Paul shrugged and continued to eat. Suze stared silently at her plate. I grumbled across the room. If she didn't eat anything Paul would know something was up.

"Suze," he said after a while. "Are you sure you're feeling all right? You weren't looking so hot this morning when I left." Suze looked up at him.

"I'm fine," she replied. "It's just…" She sighed in annoyance.

"It's just what?" Paul asked. Suze looked at her food.

"I got some news today," she said silently. Paul kept looking at her waiting for the future me to continue. Suze took a deep breath and continued.

"It wasn't the flu that I had," she said. "I'm pregnant." My stomach started to churn. I was going to have Paul's baby?!

"Repeat that again," Paul whispered. Suze looked up at him and stared right at him.

"I'm going to have your child," she repeated. Paul rose from his chair and walked towards Suze. I started to cringe. What was he going to do? Suze's eyes never left his.

"But how? I thought we were being careful?" Paul asked. My stomach started to churn again.

"We were," she replied. "Except the night of the storm." Paul smiled fondly at Suze. I sat on the counter in wonder. He seemed harmless; he wasn't going to hurt the future me.

In fact he looked like he was glowing with pleasure.

He placed his hand on Suze's stomach and rubbed. Suze smiled at him.

"I can't believe there's going to be a baby growing inside," Paul said.

"There already is a baby inside of there," Suze pointed out. "It isn't too big but it's there." Paul smiled and kissed Suze on the cheek. I glanced at the scene before me.

This was the normal life I've always longed for. Even though it was with Paul, but Paul was a mediator/shifter too. He'd understand what I was going through.

So was I suppose to pick Paul?

The room started to fade around me.

XxXxXx

I woke up on the bathroom floor. My bathroom floor. My father was standing above me.

"Well?" He asked. I groaned as a massive headache started.

"Well, I'm more confused then ever," I replied.

"Oh?" His eyebrow arched. "Tell me."

"I went to a future where I was married to Paul Slater," I began, my voice whispering. "Then I was pregnant. He was so excited." My father watched me with an attentive eye.

"So, you're choosing Paul?" He asked. I groaned again.

"I don't know," I replied. "I mean, Jesse is sweet and all but I'm in love with him, and Paul still gives me the creeps!"

"But?" My father asked.

"But with Paul I have a chance at the normal life I always wanted." I sighed in defeat and closed my eyes.

"You have to make a decision, Susannah," my father said.

"What about going to the future to see where I'd be if I chose Jesse?" I asked. My father shook his head.

"With Jesse there is no certainty of a future." I groaned. Just like I thought when I was in the future.

"No certainty?" I repeated. "None at all?"

"Suze, you know with any future there is no certainty," my father said.

"So, the future that I saw with Paul?" I asked.

"Will happen," he said. "If you choose Paul." I sat up.

"I want that normal life, Dad," I said. "But not if I can't have Jesse."

"Well then, go out there and tell them," my dad said and disappeared.

"Thanks a lot," I muttered. I sat there thinking. I had made a list, I'd seen the fights, and I saw the future with Paul.

I had kissed both Paul and Jesse.

I had fallen in love with Jesse, a love that was unrequited.

I wanted to bang my head on something.

That's it! If banging my head on the edge of the bathtub made me live through a future with Paul then why couldn't I do it again?

Only this time I would see a future with Jesse.

The only bad side was the concussion I was sure to have.

But I've had plenty of those before.

Anything to see my future with Jesse.

I stood up and positioned myself so when I fell my head would hit the bathtub. I started to drop myself when a spectral glow caught me.

"Susannah, what do you think you're doing?" Jesse asked me. I cursed him in my head.

"I should be asking the same thing," I responded.

"I'm saving you from hitting the back of your head on the bathtub," he replied coolly. He stood me upright.

"You shouldn't be in here," I said as I brushed off my shirt. His "touch" still gave me the chills, but in a good way. I looked at him, knowing I'd be drawn into his charms.

"Susannah, if I hadn't caught you, you would have a concussion." Jesse said his arms crossed over his chest.

"Well, maybe that's what I was trying to do," I muttered. Jesse's eyebrow arched in question. He'd heard that.

"And why would you…" Jesse began to ask, but was cut off as Paul opened the door.

I thought I locked that thing!

"Great, I didn't miss anything," Paul said. I gave him a dirty look.

"This bathroom is getting crowded," I replied and made my way to the door. Paul and Jesse followed behind me. "Why won't you two get the hint? I want to be left alone!" I exclaimed.

"You had your time alone," Paul said.

"When we left you alone, I come in and find you trying to throw yourself down towards the bathtub." Jesse said. Paul looked at Jesse then to me.

"Throw yourself down to the bathtub?" Paul asked. "Were you trying to give yourself a concussion?"

"What does it matter?" I asked. "I've had my fair share of concussions over the years."

"That weren't self caused?" Jesse countered.

"Not many," I replied. "But this one was different." Paul and Jesse looked at me.

"How is this one 'different'?" Paul asked. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll keep the reason to myself, thanks," I said. A hand touched my shoulder.

"Susannah…" he said his cool eyes on mine. I shook my head.

"No," I replied. "First of all don't you have somewhere to be?" Jesse removed his hand from my shoulder.

"Susannah, I'm here as long as you need me," he said.

"As long as I need you?" I asked near hysterics. "The last time I saw you, you were on your way to the rectory. Telling me 'it was all for the best.' And now…" Angry tears streamed down my face. Jesse and Paul froze. They couldn't deal with a near hysteric mediator.

I turned away from them and went down the stairs. Max was on the last step.

I tripped over him and landed face first into the carpet.

"Suze!" Paul exclaimed.

"Susannah!" Jesse exclaimed.

"I'm fine," I replied getting back on my feet. No one was in the living room. I clenched my nose as it started to bleed.

"Suze, are you trying to kill yourself?" Paul asked handing me a handkerchief.

"You think that was intentional?" I asked. "Max was on the last step, I didn't see him." I took the handkerchief and wiped away the blood.

"But you landed on your head," Jesse said. "Why are you trying to knock yourself out?" I grimaced.

"I landed on my face. But again, I'm keeping my reason to myself," I said and kept walking. Paul's hand turned me around.

"Why do you keep trying to knock yourself out?" He asked.

"What makes you so sure I'm going to tell you the reason?" I asked.

"Who else are you going to tell?" Paul countered. I threw up my hands.

"Fine!" I exclaimed. "If you want to know so damn badly I'll tell you."

"Really?" Jesse asked.

"No," I replied. Jesse and Paul exchanged looks of concern.

"Sussanah," Jesse said. "Please tell us what's going on." I glanced at either of them finding the irony of the situation hilarious.

"What's going on," I started to say. "Is that I can't choose between the two of you!" I clamped my hand over my mouth. I can't believe I just said that.

I turned away frustrated and walked into the kitchen.

"And what does that have to do with you trying to knock yourself out?" Paul asked. I laughed.

"Everything really," I muttered.

"Care to explain?" Jesse asked.

"Not really," I sighed. "But if it will get you two of my back then fine." Jesse and Paul looked at me expectantly. I grimaced.

"When I ran into the bathroom, my father showed up," I said. "I was talking with him about the decision I had to make when next thing I know I've been knocked out. When I wake up…I'm not in the present, I'm in the future."

"The future?" Paul asked. "But that's impossible, you can't do that."

"Well, I did," I said.

"And what was this future?" Jesse asked. I grimaced again.

"In this future I was married," I replied.

"Married to who?" Paul asked.

"To you," I stared at him.

Author's Notes: There you go a lengthy sixth chapter to make up for the months of not updating! Review and I'll update soon!