When David got up the next morning, the first thing he did was rush down to the common room and take a paper from the stack of the neatly piled newspapers at the main table. He quickly ruffled through the pages looking for the 'Heard it at Hogwarts' column. A half of the page was dedicated to Matilda Liqper's piece, the tidbits of news were ranked accordingly, but the first piece, under a bold heading read 'Malfoy + Weasley ?', David started reading the article lightly under his breath.
'Malfoy + Weasley ?'
A reliable source offers us a juicy piece of gossip – two individuals who seem to be sworn enemies are secretly dating. What started out as a casual meeting in Diagon Alley in the summer, has now evolved from a summer romance to a full-fledged relationship between two love-birds, Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy. Previously, it had been reported that the two were strictly acquaintances, but our insider confirms that 'Ginny and Draco are so happy together – they're even considering buying matching sweaters that say 'This is my boyfriend ' and 'This is my girlfriend'.
David finished reading it with a happy smile, and he tucked the newspaper in his arm. Going back up into his room, he decided to quickly change into his clothes so he could go and show Ginny the article. Humming an old show tune from the 60's, he donned his outfit, and within minutes he was ready to go.
Making his way to Gryffindor tower, he brightly greeted random students he encountered with large, beaming smiles. He was so preoccupied with imagining Ginny's expression of happiness – no bliss, he mentally corrected himself, that he failed to note the worried glances he was attracting.
Outside the portrait of the Fat Lady, he was surprised to see that there were no other students roaming about. He looked at this wrist watch and the time read 6:47 AM. With a roll of his eyes, David surmised that Gryffindors were late sleepers. Bored, and unsure of what to do, he decided to wake up the Fat Lady. Standing next to her sleeping form, he loudly said, 'Good Morning Professor Dumbledore!' Immediately, the Fat Lady wakened from her stupor and she cast worried glances around the hall. Her eyes settled on David and he started snickering softly.
Seeing that she was dealing with a prankster, she realized Dumbledore was no where in the area. The Fat Lady faced him with half closed eyes and muttered, 'Password?', unaware that he wasn't a Gryffindor.
David's mind started working overtime; this would be a golden opportunity to see what the inside of the Gryffindor common room looked like. He had always heard rumors that while the Weasley twins were at Hogwarts, they had constructed a 'Fountain of Sweets' in the common room. It routinely sprouted streams of liquid chocolate, alternating between white and dark chocolate; and it also shot handfuls of bonbons to passing students. It had always been one of David's dreams to see this contraption.
He scrunched his face in deep thought and venturing a guess, he said "Orangutan?"
The Fat Lady snorted and said, "No dear, I didn't ask for your name." David gave her an outraged glare – the nerve of the portrait, insulting him like that! Well, he'd see about that...
He quickly started thinking back to his previous conversations with Ginny, maybe she had unintentionally mentioned the password in conversation.
Racking his brains, he hazarded another guess, "Bridal shower?"
The Fat Lady opened her eyes slightly and she looked fed up. Quickly, David tried one last time, blurting the first thing that popped into his head, "Algorithm?"
He was surprised to see her nod and the door swung forward, revealing a hole to walk through. Quickly, he clambered in the room before the Fat Lady noticed the Ravenclaw colors of his tie and denied him entry.
Upon making it inside, he was dismayed to see that still there were no students up and about. But he noted to his satisfaction that a pile of newspapers was placed carefully at the main table. Taking out his wand, he quickly muttered an enchantment. Now, there was a poster next to the wall and it said in bright flashing neon pink letters, 'Please take one!'
He soon saw a flaw in his plan - people may pick up a paper but they might skip over the article about Ginny. Frowning, he decided to fix his mistake – quickly he added a post script to his label 'And read page (he quickly checked the correct number) 7'.
Satisfied with what it read, he added another post script, "Thank you and have a nice day." But unable to resist himself, he added another line, "Beware of Mountain Lions. They can/will be dangerous."
Looking around, he noticed to his dismay that there was no fountain that erupted with sweets or chocolate. Slightly disgruntled at his discovery, he started pondering of how he would get Ginny to come downstairs.
Walking over to the portion that lead up to the girls' dormitories, - and wholly unconcerned that he might wake up other Gryffindors, he yelled "OY! CARROTS!" up the walkway to the girls' rooms.
Whatever he was expecting, he never could have imagined the outcome that occurred – immediately, a loud echo boomed back "OY! CARROTS!" twice as magnified. The impact was almost instantaneous and he heard many voices panicking. The clearest among them seemed to be Hermione Granger's, who said in a calm voice to the worried voices, "Don't worry. I'll see what it is."
There was only one thing in the world that really scared David – marrying someone who did not appreciate the fine art of yodeling. But right up on his 'List of things that I fear (in no particular order)' was encountering Hermione Granger in a bad mood – he had heard rumors that even the Weasley twins didn't dare mess with her.
Giving an exaggerated mutter of "Oh no!" (It was a pity there was no one there to see his spectacular acting), David quickly ducked behind the nearest armchair. He flattened himself against the small space and prayed that Hermione would not see him. Knowing her, she would easily get him in detention for sneaking into another house's common room.
Momentarily, he heard her steps coming down the stairs and David instantly remembered his sign over the newspapers. He smacked his head over his stupidity; Hermione would definitely know someone had been there. He took a deep breath, too scared to utter even the slightest noise incase his position would be given away. David heard Hermione come down the stairs and he could almost imagine her carrying a wand – ready to attack the nincompoop who had woken up half the house so early in the morning. No doubt she'd turn him into a jelly slug or something as equally vile...the things he did for Ginny, he thought irritably.
"Who's there?" Hermione asked in a grumpy tone, looking at the empty common room around her. Devoid of any students, animals or house elves, the common room seemed to be in order. Hermione scanned her eyes around the room and almost did a double take when she noticed a highlighted sign above the newspapers. She raised her eyebrows in alarm and wondered who was responsible for the sign. Cautiously, Hermione moved towards them incase they were jinxed or were part of a prank. Picking one up, she turned to the page number specified in the sign. Her eyes almost popped out when she read the headline and she managed to choke out 'What in the name of –,' before a couple of other girls came down to investigate the noise for themselves.
"What's going on Hermione?" A fifth year student asked, stretching in her pajamas. She tiredly sat down on a couch and buried her face in a cushion.
David scooted a little more his left, completely making sure he was out of sight. He was a little worried someone might spot a tiny piece of his cloak, but he continued praying they would all remember they needed to go back upstairs and let him be. Clearly, sneaking into the Gryffindor common room hadn't been one of his bright ideas.
Hermione's voice was a little high pitched but she answered steadily, 'Err...nothing.' Quickly, she put the newspaper back, before any one would look in her direction and see the God forsaken sign. All consequences be damned, she absently made a mental note to personally strangle the student responsible for slandering Ginny's reputation so horribly.
"Who was yelling for cabbage?" Another girl asked as she looked blearily around the room, trying to figure out the source of disruption and she sat next to her friend.
"Pfft, it wasn't cabbage – it was carrots!" David had meant to say the words in his head, but somehow he heard them clear and out loud. With another dramatic 'Oh no!' David shut his eyes and slapped his palm on his forehead over his sporadic cases of stupidity.
Immediately, Hermione turned towards the direction of the voice. About to interrogate the source thoroughly, she took two steps in the direction of the arm chair where she was certain she had heard something, when one of the girls got up to pick up a newspaper.
The other girl noticed the poster shining like a cheesy billboard sign and asked curiously, 'Did you make this notice Hermione?"
Hermione looked scandalized and revolted, exclaiming "NO!" with such vehemence that the girl looked a bit worriedly at her.
David peeked around the corner of the chair he was hiding behind, seeing that Hermione was slightly distracted, he quickly decided to change his hiding spot. Crawling as discreetly as possible, David slowly inched towards the back of another sofa.
Hermione, who was certain someone was behind the armchair, was about to make a stealthy jump on the chair, hoping to scare the prankster out of his or her wits when the girl (who had evidently turned to page 7) gasped quite dramatically and said, "GET OUT!" loudly enough to wake up the rest of the dormitory and the population of China.
David quietly muttered angrily, "I wish I could," and continued scowling like a little child who had been denied a cookie.
Her interest piqued, the girl's friend asked, "What is it?"
"Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley are an item!" The girl said excitedly and now seemed fully awake. She sat down next to her friend again and showed her the article.
Hermione made a sour face, momentarily forgetting about the noise...she was hoping more students wouldn't find out, but it was inevitable. The paper was going to be available in every common room, study hall and library; every student would have read it by the end of the day. It would be of no use to hide the copies in the Gryffindor common room, people would just pick up another copy from somewhere else.
"I'm sure it's a silly rumour," Hermione offered, but clearly, neither of the girls seemed to have heard.
"She's so lucky!" The first one gushed with a little giggle. David's ears perked up at this…so his decision was definitely clever. He mentally gave himself a pat on the back for his intelligent thinking. The score currently stood at, 'Wise Decisions': 5466, 'Not So Wise Decisions': 3. Well, 4 if you counted the latest mishap.
The second girl nodded her head in confirmation and said, "I know! Malfoy's really good looking...I had no idea they were together." Hermione looked ready to throw up last night's dinner; she couldn't believe she was hearing this conversation.
Meanwhile, David had slowly started making his way towards the portrait door. Inch by inch, he crawled steadily and made sure that he kept out of sight. Since the girls and Hermione were busy with the newspaper, he knew that he wouldn't be discovered so easily. But his escape plan flew out the window when he heard a very familiar voice say, "Say, Hermione. What was going on?"
Ginny had come downstairs.
David was thoroughly annoyed with her terrible sense of timing. He froze where he was, but luckily, there was a table to his left and David ducked under there before Ginny would turn her head in his direction.
She came and sat down in an over sized arm chair, curling up her feet and settling back comfortably. Oblivious to the looks she was getting from all the girls in the room (one of envy, one of amazement and one that was trying to perceive if Ginny had lost her mind); she absently played with a loose thread on the chair.
In about 10 seconds, Hermione shoved the article under her nose. She felt any trace drowsiness instantly escaping as she read the article in sheer horror. The first thing Ginny uttered was "David!"
One of the girls nearby kindly said, "No, no Ginny, his name is Draco."
Again, all she could manage to choke out was, "David!" She looked wide eyed at Hermione, hoping she would tell her it was an early April fool's day prank. Hermione's stern face indicated otherwise.
"Draco, Ginny. Not David." The girl corrected her again.
Not hearing anything else except the blood pounding in her ears, she said with clenched teeth, "I'm going to flay him alive!"
One of the girls gasped dramatically, and said spluttering, "Bb-but he's your boyfriend! How can you say that?!"
The other added, "And he's so hot!"
At this, Hermione turned and shot the girl such a piercing glare that she shut up. In Hermione's opinion, Malfoy was not hot, anything that even remotely resembled a tall, albino ferret, was on her list of things that were encountered in the Forbidden Forest.
Ginny continued with her death threats. She should have known that David meant business when he had told her that there was going to be an article appearing in the paper. It was her mistake to have merely thought that it was going to be a one liner on the last page under the Sudoku puzzle.
Close by, David gulped audibly and started to think of new ways to escape. If he had known that he was going to encounter the Grim Reaper so early in the morning, he would have stayed in bed. Wishing he had some sort of invisibility cloak, he sullenly mulled over his limited options.
In the meantime, Hermione had taken her wand and made the poster disappear. She could sense that Ginny was just as agitated by the course of events and having the poster there, routinely flashing 'Please take one!' was only going to make matters worse.
Seeing that they were not going to get any details out of Ginny about her relationship with Malfoy, both girls went back up to their rooms, leaving Ginny and Hermione to muse on their latest dilemma.
Coldly, Hermione turned to Ginny and said, "How long have you been secretly seeing him? Was this why you were so unconcerned about Harry and Cho dating?"
Running her fingers through her (already wild) hair, Ginny gave a pitiful sigh and looked at Hermione with such sad eyes that the older girl immediately melted.
"What's wrong, Ginny?" Hermione asked much more softly, her tone concerned.
Unsure of what to say, Ginny was momentarily at a loss. She knew she trusted Hermione, and she could divulge her newest secret to her...but she wondered quietly if it was worth it or not. Deciding to take her chances, she unraveled the entire complicated tale to her; from finding out how hurt she was when she had heard about Cho and Harry to David's plan and her 'relationship' with Malfoy. Hermione sat quietly, taking it all in. When Ginny had finished recounting her story, the Head Girl sighed as well. At long length she said, "Well, David had the right idea- "
In his head, David updated the tally; 'Wise Decisions': 5467, 'Not So Wise Decisions': 4.
"But Malfoy?! Of all the dumb and stupid things to do..." Hermione continued ranting. Inwardly, David cringed. 'Not So Wise Decisions' rose to 4.5. His right leg had started to cramp painfully and he was unsure how long he would be able to stay hidden. Deciding to flex his leg a little, he stretched it experimentally. Immediately, a sharp pang of pain shot through and he was barely able to suppress it.
Ginny, who was morosely staring at the thick carpet, saw something move in the corner of her eye. Her eyes immediately hunted the source of motion and to her utter amazement she saw a shoe peeping out from behind a small coffee table.
With mouth forming into an 'o', she stood up and slowly walked towards the sole of the shoe...surely it was connected to somebody's leg. Ginny motioned for Hermione to stay still and quiet, and she crouched to the level of the table. Since she was behind him, David was wholly unaware of his potential murderer. Ginny scowled when she saw someone lying under the piece of furniture. She could not believe someone would be eavesdropping on her conversation this way. Reaching out, she clutched a fistful of black robes and grabbed the person.
David, who was lost in his intricate escape plots, had stopped listening to the conversation a while ago, or else he would have noticed the sudden eerie silence. When Ginny grabbed a handful of his robes, he let out a loud shout, followed by, "Unhand me, you pea-brained ruffian!"
The first glance at his mop of chestnut brown hair, Ginny immediately knew who the intruder was.
"I don't believe this! How did you even manage to get in?!" She wondered in amazement as David stood up and started straightening out his robes. He adjusted his tie and attempted to give her a half hearted glare.
David pointed towards the portrait hole, "You see that door over there? Well, quite surprisingly, it opens. Hence, enabling students to walk in and out. Quite ingenious if you ask me. Evolution would have no real achievements had someone not invented this brilliant contraption." Walking towards the nearest arm-chair, he sat across from Hermione. Crossing one leg over the other, he leaned back and rested his elbows on the arm rests and gazed in a bored fashion at them.
Ginny marveled at David's confidence, he had more nerve than a fox in a hen house! Even Hermione was gaping at him, wondering how he had managed to get in.
All the infuriated red head could mutter between clenched teeth was, "Explain, now. David." She came and sat down where she was originally sitting, so now they were almost in a semi-circle. David and Hermione sat on two opposite chairs and Ginny was sitting on the couch between them.
Hearing no response from him, Ginny said again in a terse voice, "Explain, now. David."
He gave an exasperated sigh, "Honestly woman, how many times were you absent in English class?"
Forgetting her question, Ginny shot him a baffled look.
"'Now' is considered an adverb. It usually implies the present situation and –" his definition was cut short was Ginny flung a cushion at him. He easily caught it before it hit him and threw it back at her. "Nice! Are we having a pillow fight?!"
Her only response was, "I hope you have your will written out because I'm going to flay you alive!" She frowned angrily and caught the cushion, dumping it on the couch.
What Hermione was trying to figure out was how David had even managed to get inside the room. Maybe Ginny had given him the password? She would have to have a talk with Ginny – passwords could not be disclosed to any other person in the castle, no matter how close friends they were. Only other house members could know the password.
Trying to see if her hypothesis was correct, Hermione asked, "Is he your friend, Ginny?"
A very unladylike snort later, Ginny grumbled out, "No. I'm not that desperate."
David pretended to glare in mock outrage, "How rude!" He had picked up the term from an American television show and he repeated it every time a fitting situation rose. Now was a good time as any.
Ginny massaged her forehead lightly, "Tell me David. How did you manage to escape from the zoo?"
Impervious to her agitated tone, he answered with a bright smile, "It's a story I like to save for rainy days."
Hermione interjected again, "But how did you get in?"
"It was a pure stroke of genius. Ever since I was little, I knew I was especially gifted in art of clairvoyance. This may surprise you, but I can easily read minds—" He began his tall tale in a smooth voice, like he was a professional narrator telling a story. But it was cut short by Ginny who said quite unceremoniously, "Shut up, David."
Playing along, he nodded his head in agreement and said, "Ok. I shut up." He pretended to zip his mouth shut. Hermione, who was curious to learn how David had gotten in, exclaimed "Un-shut up, David."
He obliged quite happily, "...as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by this mutant carrot over here, I'm well versed in the art of mind reading. Upon reaching your portrait door, I was able to decipher the thoughts of the guarding portrait of the Fat Lady. She had no choice but to obey my request once I uttered the correct password—"
He was cut short by Ginny again, "Don't believe him Hermione. He lies more than every Slytherin put together."
Hermione was rather skeptical herself, "Are you telling the truth?" She inquired and raised an eyebrow at him. David gave an impish smile and said truthfully, "It was a lucky guess, honest."
Turning to him, Ginny held up the day's newspaper. "Have you read this?" She frowned heavily as she looked at the article again.
"I wrote it!" He answered back, proudly.
Hermione shook her head unbelievably and said, "But why?! Now she'll be the laughing stock of the whole school!"
Calmly, David replied. "Actually, if those girls who were just in here were any indication, then I wager that Ginny's going to be far from being the laughing stock."
"Who? What?" Ginny was confused.
"Never mind that. Do you have an outfit picked out for the weekend?" David asked.
Ginny was thoroughly confused now, what was he talking about? Answering sarcastically she said, "Oh yes, I think I'll wear that 'This is my boy-friend' sweater."
David rolled his eyes, "Be serious. Draco's taking you to dinner on Saturday."
What was this?! Clearly, Ginny had missed the memo. Her perplexity must have shown on her face, and David expanded, "Well, it was a last minute idea. Mine of course...as all brilliant ideas are," he said nonchalantly and adjusted his wrist watch. "Now as the entire castle knows, Cho is particularly miffed with Harry-"
Ginny scowled, "Wait, how do you know this?"
"Line 14, check the 'Heard it at Hogwarts' section again, you scatter-brained weasel." He said exasperatedly. Quickly, she turned to the page again, scanning her eyes over the other bits of news about various students. Indeed, there was a small blurb about an argument Cho and Harry had had.
"But why are Malfoy and I concerned?" Ginny wondered bemused.
David gave a little sigh; he could see that he'd have to explain things thoroughly. "Elementary, my dear Weasley. Now, in order to make amends, Wonder-boy (at this, Hermione sent David a sharp glare, but he sat unconcernedly) will try to appease Wonder-woman – no sorry, Whiny-woman by taking her out to dinner. Since this is a Hogsmeade weekend, Harry will try to set things straight by taking her to a romantic candle-lit restaurant. The only place that will be up to Cho's standards will be Atlantis – you know, that new seafood place? Well, quite conveniently, you and your Adonis will also be there. Most probably a table or two away...so they can see how real couples are-"
Ginny could not believe what she was hearing. She was also wondering how David managed to know so much about other people.
"You're off your rocker." Ginny looked at him with wide eyes...how he managed to come up with his farfetched plans was beyond her.
David sat unabashed, "It's what they say about all geniuses."
Outside the tower window, the rising sun indicated that soon a lot more students would be up. Not wanting to be trapped in the midst of other Gryffindors who might not like the presence of a Ravenclaw in their common room, David got up.
Ginny's anger had sort of ebbed away, she really could see how committed David was to this plan. It seemed unfair to kill him when it really seemed as though he could pull off his wild idea. Deciding to grace him with one final chance, she got up to walk him to the portrait door.
As soon as he stepped outside, she remarked conversationally, "By the way David. If my brother has any questions about the article – I'll let him know that you were the writer." Ron was definitely a force to be reckoned with; she'd like to see how David would talk his way out of that situation. She smiled evilly as his face turned pale in panic and she closed the portrait door behind her, chuckling quietly to herself at his comically stricken expression.
A/n: Ah wow, thanks for all the lovely reviews! It'd be great if more people reviewed...(hint hint) :D
opaque-girl: You're absolutely right, this plot idea has been used many times in different stories. It's always been one of my favorites though, that's why I decided to write my version of it. Hope you enjoy it!