Author's Notes: This was written, honestly, on the fly. Two nights together, in a small room written between 11 PM and 2 AM. Both times I felt like writing, and both times I successfully managed to get most of my thoughts down on "paper."

I know that over a month has passed and I have to give Veruca Vecavi a heartfelt apology for not completing this sooner. I am sure that the next few days after today will prove to be more fruitful.

I just started writing this story with no real aim or direction to follow. Throughout the entire time, I tried my very best to flesh out as much Jade as I could without it getting redundant or uninteresting to read. Each paragraph started to become slight developments in the fluidity of his thoughts, and slowly I started to enjoyed what I was doing. I didn't initially want for this story to be a whole recollection of things, and so the use of verbs and sentence phrasing is a bit awkward. But, it ended up how it ended up and I have to say that I do enjoy the end product. The ending of it is a bit… inconclusive, but I want to write at least one more installment that follows a similar pattern. Let's hope to see that this chapter is just as enjoyable, perhaps even more so than the previous one.

Recollections Pt. 1

When I first saw him I knew there was something strangely complicated about that man. That Guy Cecil. Upon first impression, I phase out people who I deem important or not. In my years of experience, it became an art to read people, and it was (and still is) one that I have perfected. And yet, I could not help but remain puzzled.

Oh no, I'm just a simple servant.

He said simple things with simpler smiles, but I knew for a fact that he is lying. But to what extent is another matter entirely. How long and exactly what is he hiding? Those were questions that have puzzled my existence since our first meeting. Until, of course, I learned more about him.

However, they were questions that I reserved in the back of my mind, given the present situation. Somehow, I knew that I would be able to spend time with Guy, so he was not a pressing concern. Monsters were more important. As well, I had Luke, a boy who was nothing more than a spoiled dignitary. He had a last name more valuable than his actual presence. I had Tear, a mysterious woman blessed with Fonic song. She had an enigmatic standing amongst the Mohs allegations. Then I had Guy. A simple servant. Yes, I had all the more reason to question him and his place in the group (granted, he did make things painfully obviously by employing the Albert style of fighting).

Although, looking back at such times I begin to reveal a more subconscious reasoning to my actions. I relive those moments when I first started to search for the answers to my questions, and now I understand that there was something else afoot. A certain something that I did not understand at the time. I had done my homework on the man. Extensively. Yes… Tirelessly, I was looking through database after database, compiling a file of records that held any relevance to his name. Now I must admit that I had become obsessed with knowing more about him. However, it was the 'on the field' observations that were even more exciting. We spent time together, as a fighting party, but it was to my delight that Guy was an amiable person. A soon readable person. A small grin, a questioning glance, a slight nod. I sent small and subtle indications towards him, letting him find that I do, indeed, know he is Gailardia. Galan. Guardios. A Lord from the island of Hod whose nobility was soon ended at tender age of 5. Now that I know the entire truth, there were some gaping holes in my research that I could not quite understand. There was information that could not be obtained unless I talk to him, get to know him. It was a risk that I must take, and oddly enough, I was willing to go to such lengths to know more. However, in all the time I spent learning of Lord Guardios, I must admit one thing:

I preferred the name Guy.

With preferences aside, however, it was almost inevitable to learn more about this servant. Traveling the world in small groups does things to you, and one of those is, unfortunately, creating a bond with the people around you. Of course, it was easier for me to sympathize with Guy since he was the second oldest. He was mature enough to know the consequences of every action. It was a concept many of the younger members of our group did not comprehend until much later. Simply said, though, bonding for the average person is not the same as it is for me. However… I have admittedly softened a bit. Thanks to a certain person. Enough to… truly understand… what it is like to love this person.

Hmm… Love is a terrifyingly strong word to use, though. I am getting ahead of myself. Moving along~

Despite my usual grin and quip, I had reasoning behind the things that I would say. Forgive me Luke, but yes, I did feel like babysitting everyone until the very end. But do not worry, it became an enjoyable task. At times.

There was a small rest period between our adventures around the world. Before the real struggle ahead of us with Van and his God Generals, the party had disbanded, once thinking they had achieved peace and prevented any incoming war. Such ignorance was not bliss. But I did revel in one guilty pleasure during this time. Guy. I believe it was here that my turning point soon began. The young man soon revealed everything there was to know about him, stating his Lordship and reasoning behind it. He returned to Malkuth, restored his name, and found himself comfortably seated amongst the House of Lords. Yes, he lived a casual life, I assumed, and I was, in a miniscule way, glad for him. I was glad that he had picked himself up so high, and that he, perhaps, was free from any past demons. A release I wished I had. But leaving myself aside, I objectively state now was the firs time that I soon thought of Guy in a subjective manner.

He started to become more than the young man I fight alongside with. This blond man of 21 named Guy.

Purposely, I awoke earlier each morning than usual to take a casual stroll around Grand Chokmah. If was lucky, I could spot Guy with a small horde of rappigs, walking around the palace courtyard. The poor boy tripped once in a while, trying not to bump into to people or get dragged away by small, pink, oinking creatures. I caught myself staring when I first learned that he had taken up the task of walking the majesty's rappigs. I still do not know how long or how deeply I looked at him the very first time I learned of this. Possibly enough, though, to have caught the young man's attention. That day he turned and saw me, and just then I thought I had seen the brightest smile illuminate his face. He looked… nice.

"Hello there!" The blonde had somehow made his way towards me but I had made no immediate response. This is probably what made him chuckle. He scratched the back of his head (in that classic way of his) and leaned towards me ever so slightly, wondering if I was paying any attention to him. I nodded slowly though, making sure that I still maintained a calm and controlled air about my movements (in that classic way of mine) as I responded with a question.

"Are those His Majesty's rappigs? How have you come upon such a task?" I inquired with a push of my glasses. Guy continued the flow of conversation and answered my questions, myself being grateful that he had forgotten the awkward encounter of how we first began to talk that day. And since then, I had made it a point to meet with him every so often, watching him, and once I even accompanied him as we walked by the watery banks of Grand Chokmah. Perhaps it was then that I had made the most advances with my research about Guy. I talked with him casually, and not every conversation dealt with the next battle plan or what type of monsters would be found in the area. Conversation that was made before with the traveling party was dramatically different than what I talked about with Guy. Things were calmer.

Although, as I had mentioned before, this reprieve was cut short and once again I found myself traversing the world and discovering things that not even I had thought to be imaginable or tangible. Recounting every instance at this moment would be not only insane but tedious and if I could ask Guy to tell it all for me, I would. But that would not be of much use, now would it? Granted, during this time I started to discover these feelings that I have suppressed for oh so many years. I had thought they were only distractions. Unnecessary emotions that anyone can hide in order to perform well in any given task. And such a method had served me well. That is who I became to be, and have helped me reach all of my achievements in my 35 years of existence.

But that is all it was. Suppressed. Not eradicated. I still held the qualities and emotions to care for someone, to look after another, and to feel this deep mutual respect for another. I am human over all. But there was another quality that had became mingled with usually platonic words such as respect and care. There was…something sexually present as well (which is an aspect I have not touched upon until now) that had inevitably clouded my judgment.

My wants and my needs started to drastically shift towards the latter part of my adventures with my fellow companions. I dared not touch him more than what was necessary, only throwing in a risqué movement here a there. A poke, a touch on his shoulder, a gentle breath against the skin of his neck. They were small actions that lasted only for that instance. I understood his reaction towards me. He was unsure of what to do and initially he could not help but be a bit awkward. But by that time, he had enough trust in me to not be startled. He was not scared of my advances, and after a while even he caught on. Glances were exchanged, a few playful words were thrown in, a curl of the lips. Tiny indications became magnified and for a small moment, I began to think that Guy had felt the same towards me.

But I could not make that assumption. Not now. I did not have enough information.

Although after the party was disbanded, all seemed to be well. For the most part. All of us had mourned the loss of our companion Luke. I remember the day when I personally had to deliver the dreadful news to the Duke. I did nothing more than state that Luke had died in the collapse of Eldrant, and had sacrificed his life for the rest of us. He was a brave man and holds a special place in our hearts. I am truly sorry for your loss. A few simple sentences that almost I quivered in saying. But I did not. I remained there, coldly watch Luke's mother break down into a fit of tears. Duke Fabre could not help but shed tears as well as he held his wife, biting deeply into his lower lip. The poor woman was on the point of collapsing, her poor health affecting her at full force. I stood ever diligently. When I was dismissed from the room, though, I remember taking a very deep breath. It took me some time to compose myself. …Luke. Was dead.

It was here, at this moment, that I understood what it truly was for things to die. For things to never come back, not matter how we try to alter that fact. Memories flooded over me, and I was not so sure on my feet. Soon two gloved hands had caught me as I looked up at two pale blue eyes. Two beautiful eyes, looking at me with deep concern. I remembered closing my eyes again, and softly saying that I was sorry. Then darkness had pervaded.

I was sorry that I had made him worry.

The next memory after that was myself, comfortably positioned in Guy's bed in the Fabre's estate. I slowly opened my eyes to him once again, still the same concerned man that he was before I had collapse. Something I still do not know why it happened. Physiologically, there was no apparent reason why I had done so. It just did, and now I have to admit that I am grateful that I did. It was the first time I had ever felt his arms around me, and it was that warmth that radiated from his body one that I did not know I was searching for all my life.

He gently pushed the hair from my eyes and sighed, explaining how long I was in his room, and what he had done to ease any symptoms I had during my collapse. He asked if I had been eating and I nodded my head. He then remained silent, searching for other possible answers. There some minutes have passed in silence and closed my eyes. I remember saying that I was sorry once again. He was confused. I explained and he chuckled.

"It's alright, Jade… Believe it or not, I've been starting to worry about you a lot…" He said this softly and I wondered the meaning behind his words.

And that is how it went. We talked, we admitted, we understood, and it was then that I finally had the data that I needed. Indeed. I was in love with Guy, and secretly, he was in love with me.

We maintained a slow relationship since then, making sure that our secret was kept away from the rest of the world. I was new to the feeling entirely and Guy had started to take control with the advances. Physically loving someone is much different than loving from a distance, and it was new territory I was completely caught off guard in. But he was patient with my slowness in loving. There were times when he would complain of my complete aloofness. He questioned himself if I truly did love him, and every time that he did, I took another leap of faith and somehow kept our bond together, and tighter than before.

During this time, a complete cycle of the seasons had passed and one last development was brought to our story. I found myself, alongside once again with the same party I was honored with saving the world. Then, just before we left that valley, a figured had appeared before us. He looked like Luke, and he looked like Asch. A figured who none of us first believe was real. But soon after he spoke, we all felt it in our hearts that Luke, somehow, was back.

I did not notice at first, but Guy told me that night, before we retired to bed, that I had genuinely smiled. He teased gently, poking fun at my softness of heart before closing his eyes and bidding me goodnight.

Softly kissing his hair, I proceeded to do the same.