I don't own TMNT.

Remember how some of you were so happy that Leo was alive? ^_^

Well… -_-'

You may commence with throwing knives. O_O'

If It Doesn't,

Raph closed his eyes from the humorous smile and then felt a heavy hand on his shoulder, but wait, he felt like he was standing on his head. Why couldn't he open his eyes?

"Raph!" a distant voice called.

The red masked turtle tried to move but found himself paralyzed. Wait, why couldn't he move?

"Raph wake up!" the voice yelled again.

A bright, white light filled the world around the red masked turtle before he breathed in deeply. The hothead shot up, breathing heavily, his eyes glancing around him frantically.

The rapidly shifting eyes cam to a stop when they met a gaze of worried ocean blue.

"Oh, it's just you," Raph said with a frown.

Mikey looked a bit hurt by that but he brushed it aside, mainly concerned about his older brother, "How's your head?" he asked.

"My head?" Raph asked and raised a hand only to have it land on a thin strip of bandages around his skull.

"Yeah, after you ran out of Winters' building, me and Don came home. We waited but you didn't come back so we went out to look out for you."

Panic gripped Raph's heart and mind. It couldn't been! All of that had to be-

"We found you unconscious in one of the sewer pipes a few miles from here," Mikey explained and smiled a fake smile while tears long unshed built behind his eyes.

"Leo," Raph whispered, his breath coming in short gasps and his eyes widening.

He finally realized he was back in his room but he really couldn't focus. He threw off the blanket that was covering him and jumped to his feet before running out the door.

"It has to be real, it has to be real," he chanted under his breath as he ran for Don's lab.

All of that couldn't have been in his mind.

"It couldn't have just been a…"

Raph stood in the doorway of his purple masked, little brother's lab.

He glanced at the sheet covering a form on the lab.

"Dream," he finished.

His mind and heart were both horrifically screaming denial. NO! LEO HAD TO BE OK! HE WAS JUST OK! THEIR LEADER HAD JUST BEEN LAUGHING AT MIKEY'S DISTRESS! SO, HE COULDN'T BE DEAD.

"Raph?" a soft voice behind him asked.

The red masked turtle turned quickly and met eyes with his immediate younger brother.

Don saw the disbelief still present in Raph's eyes and he shook his head sadly, "He's gone Raph."

"No," Raph whispered.

"There's no pulse," Don continued on, oblivious to the rage building under the surface.

"No."

"No breath."

"No!"

"He's dead."

"NO! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!" Raph shouted turning his back to his younger brother, "This is Leo. The one who does the impossible on a daily basis. Even you can't argue that!"

"No, Leo did the highly improbable, not the impossible. No matter how much of a superhero you see him as, he has-well had his limits. Leo's gone. Just accept it Raph, we need to figure out what to do about the body. Master Splinter's vouched for cremation while Mikey and I-"

"SHUT UP!" Raph yelled, snapping around and shoving his younger brother back, "I DON'T CARE WHAT ANY REPORT OR TEST SAYS. LEO CAN'T DIE!"

"Raph?" Mikey asked as he walked into the main room where his two older brothers were arguing.

"HE CAN'T BE DEAD! IT ISN'T POSSIBLE! THIS CAN'T BE REAL!" Raph seemed to be completely losing it, his eyes were tightly closed and his hands clenched into fists, his loud shouting fell into a choked whisper, "He can't be. He can't…"

"He's dead Raph," Don said through clenched teeth, he had been waiting for Raph to return for hours and his temper, that was usually in check, had just tumbled over the edge.

"HE'S DEAD RAPHAEL! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO WANTS TO DENY REALITY!"

"He can't…" Raph choked out, "He can't be gone. He can't leave us, not like this."

Don growled and before he knew it, his bo staff was in his hands.

"Don no!" Mikey shouted.

The enraged turtle threw his arm behind him and swung it forward, hearing his woode wapon hit flesh and bone. He was breathing deeply as he noticed his younger brother running to Raph's side. Then, Don suddenly dropped his bo, finally realizing what he had done. He dashed to Raph's side.

"Raph, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" he repeated over and over in a frantic voice.

Raph just stared at the ceiling as he embraced the pain. If it hurt that much, he must be awake. It must be real. Still though, he denied it. He slowly sat up, wiping blood from his mouth.

"Don," he said sternly, "Have you checked everything? Not just his heart and lungs, have you checked his brain? Maybe he's still in there."

"Raph," Don said with sad eyes as he watched his older brother wipe more blood from where it was running out of his mouth, "I don't have the equipment to run a cat scan. Besides, if he was still in there, Master Splinter would've reached him by now."

"Isn't there anything?" Raph asked, his eyes downcast as he felt the pity filled stares of his younger brothers.

"No," Don whispered hopelessly.

Raph scowled and climbed to his feet, heading for the open doorway of Don's lab.

"Raph!" his brothers yelled.

"I have to know for sure," he whispered and closed the door behind him.

Don groaned and shook his head before the two youngest sat down on the couch.

"Don?" Mikey asked.

"Hmm?"

"Maybe Raph's-"

"Let it go Mikey," Don spat, glaring at his little brother, who flinched back from the look in his eyes, "He's dead and he's not coming back. Leo's dead."

Mikey's bright blue eyes shimmered as they began reflecting too much light. Don turned his head and glared at the floor instead. His little brother needed to learn. The sooner, the better. Choked sobs followed the three second silence after the purple masked turtle turned away. Full cries followed seconds later and Don ignored them.

At least…he tried to.

Mikey on the other hand, felt destroyed. He had been so happy to have Leo back. His uncompleted and disastrous world had finally been fixed but now, it had shattered. All he could do was cry, burying his hands in his face, but as the fact that he was crying hit him, he cried more. Before Leo left for training the youngest always went to the eldest, for the benefit of them both. Although the young, orange masked turtle needed the comfort, Leo often needed something or someone to hold and comfort. He loved too much and needed to share it. While Don and Raph had focused on everything negative that Leo's absence brought to them, Mikey found himself remembering something their father had told them years before. One of the lessons he had actually paid attention to.

"Every story, has two sides."

So he wondered and started pointing out the negatives on Leo's side of it all.

He was alone.

He was 2,000 miles away from home.

He was in the middle of a jungle.

He had no one to care for his injuries.

He had no one to talk to.

He had no store or restaurant to get food from.

He didn't have a bed to sleep in.

He didn't have his family by his side.

He didn't have something or someone to love.

And Mikey knew that was the worst kind of loss Leo could ever endure, besides his family's deaths. Suddenly, all this little stuff started meaning everything to Mikey and now, he realized he didn't care about anything other than that cold, lifeless…corpse, in the other room that used to be his eldest brother. After a minute of hearing nothing but his own grief he felt a hand on his shoulder and then a cold embrace. The orange masked turtle forced his eyes open to find his immediate older brother had his arms around him. This didn't work though, Leo always let him cry on his shoulder before he would fall asleep in the eldest's lap, knowing he was safe. The hug Don was giving him, just wasn't right. It wasn't enough. He wasn't Leo.

Mikey pulled away roughly, his blue eyes staring into Don's soft chocolate eyes as both hues leaked tears, "I'm sorry," Mikey mumbled, closing his eyes in distress, "But it's just not the same."

The chocolate hue of Don's eyes was just too close to Leo's, except, the eldest's eyes held hidden eternal promises of protection and love, while Don's held confusion and pain. It wasn't right. It just wasn't right.

Life wasn't fair.

Don growled, "WELL I'M SORRY I CAN'T BE LEO! JUST GIVE IT UP MIKEY! HE'S DEAD!"

The air was full of Mikey's choked sobs and Don's heavy breathing from all of his screaming. Don froze and then glared at his younger brother as the genius got to his feet.

"JUST GET OVER IT!" he shouted before running into his room and slamming the door behind him.

He held a shaking hand to his face as he slid down the door until he hit the floor. He wanted to deny it all. He really wanted to, but that didn't make anything better, he knew.

So why couldn't he just accept it and get over it?

Yeah, if you didn't get it. All that good stuff that Raph just experienced, it was all just a dream. ^_^

Now don't worry and please don't kill the author! O_O

Just take it easy. I've said this once and I'll say it again:

This story is not over. (Yes, there's a spark of hope in my voice.)

This is chapter 5, only two more to go! ^_^

Please review? And if you're angry, please review and yell and scream all you want. I say this all the time, I'm not an exploding author. The point of a story and words is to evoke emotion so if this makes you mad, tell me. Yell at me! Tell me how you want me to change the story. People, something please? Truthfully, I'm getting very bored.

PLEASE? PLEASE REVIEW? PLEASE?

Ok, in other news. I now have 49 stories posted here. So I'm planning something for my 50th creation. A new story, with, believe it or not. An OC! It took forever to convince myself but I made one and put him in a story.

Yes, it's a him. I'm not going to be the typical fan and create a female turtle to write a love story about. It's so overrated. Anyways the story will be my 50th creation and I'm hoping people will give my character, Thade, a chance. The main focus of the story will be, of course, the brotherly bonds the team holds, and jealousy. Don't worry, no one falls in love. If you want to read that kind of story, I suggest you go to a different author. I have no interest in writing anything about romance.

I can only hope that this all almost kind of got through to people. See ya later!

~Moonsetta