...
Jim's mind had been like a locked chest. He could look at it whenever he wanted, but the curiosity to know what was inside was just eating at him. The only problem was, he didn't have the key. So when his memories re-surfaced, it felt just like that. It felt like the chest had finally been opened and the musty air was released and he could finally rest.
Well, as much as he could rest, and running around a strange planet during a chilling hour wasn't exactly the best method to establish rest after a horrible mind fuck, but he was Jim Kirk and Jim Kirk didn't typically do things normally.
He was just badass like that.
Hello universe, guess who's back on his fucking feet?
Jim dashed around corners and felt his lungs beginning to burn from the rapid breathing he had succumbed too. He didn't know if James was behind him or not, but he was pretty sure he was. He was entirely focused on the strange implanted emotions in his mind. He had finally (desperately) melded with his Spock, but if there had been any emotional transference from him Jim didn't notice it. All he felt was the presence of his older counterpart.
Mr. Spock.
He could feel him in a sort of way that to anyone else would have felt creepy, but Jim welcomed it. He never felt so happy to have someone else's mind shit caught up in his head.
He ran at break-neck speed. He was so afraid he might loose the feelings again that he didn't want to take any chances. He kept running.
Running.
Running.
In front of him he saw a strange beginning of a forest. They hadn't gone that far to notice it nor did they think the planet would have any trees—let alone a forest. Throwing caution to the wind, he dashed straight in following the feelings like a lost scent. He was the hound dog and the Vulcans his prey. He wasn't going to loose them again. Not this time. Not ever. And he honestly didn't care if it was the foreign emotions that made him feel like that.
The forest was far more dense than he thought it would be. The moment he entered, he got caught on vines and struggled for a few moments to rip himself from them. Once free, he was caught again and slapped in the face by other vegetation and something ripped part of his tunic and another torn his slacks at his knee, but he didn't care. He just kept moving. Even as the stinging sensation of being scratched by the thorns around him reregistered, he just kept moving.
He finally stopped when he reached a clearing. It was dark, but an eerie glow illuminated the area from what looked like native fireflies. The clearing was large and grassy and right in the middle were two lying bodies.
"Spock!" Jim called and rushed out towards them. Upon reaching them, he collapsed to his knees and began looking them over. Both had slight scrapes and abrasions on their exposed skin and both looked to be unconscious. James finally joined him and collapsed by his Spock and took his head quickly into his palms.
"You found them!" James exclaimed in what sounded almost like a half-sob. "Jim, you found them!" They were both relieved.
As James tended to Mr. Spock, Jim tended to his. A strange serene feeling crept up over him as he studied the face of the unconscious Vulcan. He looked calmer than he had ever looked and Jim wondered for a brief moment if Spock looked like this when he slept. He brushed some dirt from Spock's cheek and a tingling sensation kissed his fingertips.
He decided it best to ignore it.
"Spock, can you hear me?" Jim tried. "We're here. James and I. We made it. We found you. You're going to be okay." Instinctively, he placed his hand to the left side of Spock's body and felt the Vulcan's heart thrumming away.
Good.
His heartbeat is there. And normal.
A sudden static like chirp startled him and both he and James jolted at once.
"Enterprise to Capt—Kirk—Enter—Cap—Come in—Kirk." Jim and James both looked at each other before he grasped his communicator and flipped it open where he began messing with the frequencies until it was remotely clear.
"This is the Captain." He said sternly.
"I can hardly—make out—what you're saying, Cap—"
"Can you beam us up?" He asked in a hurry.
"Beam?—Captain…the anomaly—heading your way. Moving—moving strangely…" static, "return to vessel Galileo—try—beam back—" He looked up at James who had already started throwing his First Officer over his shoulder.
"Did you hear that? The anomaly is moving and so should we. We've got to get back to the Galileo." James told him. Jim agreed. If they didn't move quickly, the anomaly would be gone again. Why was it moving towards the planet? Was it actually a creature that ate things around it after all and spit out neutrinos afterwards? Jim wasn't sure, but what he was sure about was that they needed to get back to the vessels. Taking one arm and using all his strength, he heaved the unconscious Vulcan on to his shoulder. Spock was a lot heavier than he looked and for a moment Jim grunted with the extra weight.
Damn. What have you been eating?
Ignoring Spock's weight,he and James started out of the clearing and into the woods.
"Do you know how we got here?" James asked with some strain.
"Not really." Jim admitted which was bad in a way. He could find them because of the strange link, but finding their way back was going to be harder sense they didn't really have a sense of direction. Jim rolled his eyes, it's not like he had a mind link with the vessels. Which would be rather helpful in some cases, he mused. James suddenly pointed.
"Look. The fireflies." Jim followed his finger and the strange fireflies were moving in a rhythmic pattern through the woods. It was like they knew how to get out, like fresh air in a dark cave. They didn't have much else to go on, so Jim asked James if he thought it would be a good idea to follow them. James agreed it would.
Taking a shot in the dark (literally), they followed the little beams of light and were relieved when the trail of flying lanterns did, indeed, lead them from the forest and back towards the rocky terrain they had crashed on. When the exited, both stood still as a whipping wind hit their faces and above them they could see a black pit circling towards them. It was so dark, black, that it made the night sky look pale.
Oh, shit. "Is that the…?"
"We've got to get back to the Galileo!" James ordered. Jim nodded to his assessment and with their heavy packages on their shoulders, ran as fast as they could towards the vessels. The fireflies around them seemed to be reacting much like the dolphins on Earth. They followed their every step and playfully flew around them, making traveling a little difficult due to the circumstances. If they hadn't been in such a dire situation, Jim may have called them beautiful and elegant insects but now they were just being annoying. He found himself swatting at them a few times so he could see in front of them. He also found himself thinking how lucky the little bastards were that he was unable to reach his phaser. This was not the time for any more delays.
More wind slapped them and nearly knocked Jim over. James had caught his arm and they both looked up to see the black pit enlarging in size.
It was coming closer.
He and James were wearing protective suits from the neutrinos, but the Spocks weren't. If that thing was still shooting them out, then more damage could be inflicted upon them and this almost made Jim sick to his stomach. So much pressure was on him and his adrenaline was pumping full throttle. They needed to get back to the vessels!
When they finally managed to reach the Galileo, they saw the small clouds above them part and dissipate as the anomaly breached closer to the planet. Jim swallowed. He had never seen an anomaly do that before and this thing certainly was living up to the definition of 'anomaly'. Jim reached for his communicator but stopped as a light flooded his eyes and nearly blinded him. Was that coming from the anomaly?
"Kirk to Enterprise! Beam us up! Four! Beam us up!" A loud roaring noise and an indescribable low-pitched ring thundered about them. If James hadn't been holding on to him, he may have fallen over from the wind and the piercing sounds. He tried his communicator again and though blinded by the strange light, he could still manage to make out that the anomaly was blowing away most of the surface clouds and the giant black swirl in the sky stood out.
Jim was afraid.
…
The next thing Jim saw was the familiar Transporter Room. It twinkled in and out for a time and while his atoms were trying to piece themselves back together, he remembered thinking how scared he was that due to the anomaly they wouldn't make it back. Their atoms would be scattered through the cosmos and probably destroyed by the anomaly. He was relieved when he could finally make out the Transporter Room and see the familiar faces of his crew.
James and Jim toppled on impact.
Bones and Leonard were first on the scene. Both ordered nurses to gather up the Vulcans while they desperately threw their tricorders over the weakened and frightened Kirks. James was first to bring himself back from the scare.
"Damnit, Bones, I'm fine! Just tired. I'm more worried about Spock." The older doctor frowned.
"I don't care what you think you are, Jim! You've been exposed to a strange alien planet, the anomaly is doing exactly what anomalies do best and you're lying on the floor of the Transporter Pad with an equally stunned younger Captain! I need to check you so you might as well shut up!" Jim was being pulled up into a sitting position by his younger doctor when Leonard shot him an evil glare. "I don't want to hear any lip from you either!" Jim shrugged and complied as his Bones ran the tricorder over him. He turned his head and looked at James who also decided to look at him at the same moment. It was quiet and they didn't say anything until Jim watched a grateful smile broaden his counterpart's lips.
"You found them. We got them back."
"Yeah." Jim replied softly.
"You did good, boy."
Jim shook his head. "We did good. If you hadn't come with me, I'd be stuck in the middle of a field with annoying alien fireflies and two Spocks I wouldn't be able to carry out." Pause. "Thanks for coming with me." James blew it off with a flick of his wrist.
"Ah, you would have done the same." Jim smiled weakly and then it bloomed into a full-scale grin. Looking at James, he had made the comparison to his father many times but now he looked at the man in a bit of a new light. James wasn't like his father. James was him. This was his older self in a way he never thought possible and though the guy may have done things differently, it was still him. At the same time, he had grown a new respect for James and himself.
It felt good.
"Well, you're both fit as a fiddle, you just need some rest." Younger Bones began as he and Leonard put the tricorders away.
Leonard folded his arms. "But the moment either of you start to feel strange, report to Sickbay immediately. We didn't get much time to analyze the planet before you both dove in head first so be cautious to any symptoms."
"Thanks, Bones." Jim and James said in unison. They looked at each other grimly and then…the both started to laugh. Maybe talking at the same time wasn't that bad.
"Bridge to Captain Kirk." Came the familiar and steady voice of Lt. Uhura. Bones and Leonard took the opportunity to escort themselves out and both Jim and James stood. Jim wasted no time and approached the wall intercom to talk back to her.
"Kirk here." He said as professionally as he could.
"Captain, you're not going to believe this…I don't really believe it…but…we're being hailed." Jim looked over to James who was now wearing an equally puzzled mask.
"Hailed? Out here? In the middle of unknown space? By who?"
"Um…the anomaly, Sir." If two faces could possibly drop and hit the floor at once and at the same time and momentum, Jim and his older self had managed it. They looked at each other and a million questions began to buzz around in his head.
The anomaly.
It was hailing them.
The anomaly.
The big thing that was like a star, but no light, shot out neutrinos, moved and exploded, was large enough to possibly swallow a solar system, had strange jets—and it was hailing them.
Well, Jim thought, if I thought my day couldn't get any weirder after the whole memory loss thing, I stand thoroughly corrected. The universe is just determined to get me to suck its cock every which way it can. He tried to turn away from his counterpart but found he was having difficulty.
"I'm on my way, Kirk out." Jim said while still looking at James. He turned the intercom off. In silence, they both exited the Transporter Room and began making their way for the Bridge.
So in a little summary, Jim had had to sabotage his own ship, experience the equivalent of the most painful emotional rollercoaster of his life, have his memories taken away, go through the bullshit of his friends keeping information from him, being in a damn love triangle between an older version of his First Officer and himself, go through the panic of not only loosing one Spock but possibly both, go on a suicide mission to a planet that they had never charted before, get the fuck freaked out of them by strange lights, noises, and winds that could make a typhoon look like a fucking summer breeze and—okay, so maybe the anomaly hailing them wasn't so weird after all. After all the shit he'd been through in the past week, it almost seemed normal. Jim could handle it.
When they entered on to the Bridge, Jim nodded to his beautiful communications officer and she was quick to patch the transmission for him. To his surprise, the viewscreen was activated and a familiar species greeted him.
The face was Human.
He didn't know the man or the strange uniform he was adorning, but the face was most definitely Human.
Before Jim could make a formal greeting, "Why are you following us?" The voice was thunderous, but Jim wasn't one to be frightened. He was confused, but not frightened. If this asshole wanted to skip formalities and go straight into the information part, then he could comply with that. He was pissed too and could use a little venting.
"Following you?" Jim demanded. "I don't know if you know this, but we've been in pursuit of a strange star for days now and didn't exactly know we were following anyone! Where is your ship? Inside the anomaly? Do you need assistance in getting out?" The Human was silent and eyed Jim as if what he had just asked was the most stupidest thing to ever come from his mouth. Granted, Jim had said some pretty stupid shit in his days most of all which got him horribly mangled, but offering assistance didn't really dawn on him as 'stupid'. Jim felt the urge to break the guy's nose if he said one more thing remotely aggressive.
He was lucky he was only a transmission.
Very lucky.
"Our ship is the structure that you are calling an 'anomaly'." He finally said in haughty tone. Jim wanted to fall forward and stumbled from the sudden information. What kind of ship looked like that? Was this guy pulling his leg? Getting off on some strange interstellar prank?
"Well," he tried to regain himself, "I've never heard of a ship that could pull off half the shit we've been seeing yours do in the past few days. A giant black pit? Strange jets? Neutrinos? I would think the Federation would have heard about something like that by now." The Human sighed and looked to his side away from the screen. He nodded and another Human came into view. He looked gruffy and far older than the man he had been speaking with.
"You must be the Captain." He said in a low baritone. Jim nodded.
"I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise." The man nodded.
"I am Captain Talho of the ISA D'teHur. Forgive the unprofessionalism of my First Mate, we have never been so thoroughly pursued before now and we were cautious. We did not want to take any chances of initiating contact with a hostile species."
"Understandable." Jim said under his breath, though the asshole 'first mate' seemed to be the only hostile species he had encountered thus far.
"You have questions." Talho said in more of a statement than a question.
"Yes." Jim acknowledged. "Will you be willing to answer them?" Talho seemed to stand still and think for a moment before he answered.
"I will answer what I can without breaking our Prime Directive, Captain." Okay, Jim could roll with that. Of course, he had over a million questions he wanted to ask, but he logically tried to put them together to see which questions would get him the most answers. He hadn't been expecting to find out the thing that shot out his counterpart to be a ship. Hell, I don't think anyone was expecting that! Though their faces were Human, they were obviously an advanced race of some sort. He decided to ask that first.
"Your ship is nothing like I have seen before. Are you from an advanced civilization?"
Talho slightly nodded. "In a way, yes. The ship you see is a scientific exploration vessel we constructed over seven hundred years into your future. As scientists it was our job to seek and study the past and their timeline counterparts."
"You jump from timeline to timeline for scientific study?" The grin on Talho's face made Jim automatically decide he liked this guy. He had wished he had met this guy before the First Mate. He may not have felt the sudden urge to break something had that happened.
"Yes. Our mission is to observe the differences of alternate realities and to determine if there is indeed a new timeline created for every possible action. We were on course in a quiet timeline when we noticed a strange difference in the fabric of space-time. This strange difference was your reality, Captain. In correspondence with your other timelines, this one tread the furthest from the origin source. We would not miss an opportunity to study your reality." So from scientific garble to idiot, Talho basically had told them that he was studying James' timeline and noticed a different timeline beside it that was way off the intended course and decided to check it out. This timeline was theirs. But this still didn't explain how their counterparts had gotten here.
Jim grasped James' arm and pulled him forward. "Captain Talho, this man beside me is also Captain James T. Kirk—he's my eight year older counterpart. When we first saw your uh…ship…we found him and two other older versions of my crew on board his vessel which came from your…ship. Did you intend on bringing alternate reality counterparts with you in your timeline jump? Was this apart of your study?" Talho's brow creased as he studied the older man beside him. He turned and left the screen for only a moment as he picked up a strange device and began flipping through it like a dataPADD. Once done, he looked grimly and most apologetically at Jim.
"My apologies. It seems that the small malfunction in our Timeline Transporter had gone overlooked. Before we left Timeline:Ac88725C, we had been approached by an inspecting vessel. It was ignored as we were about to leave the timeline for further study of yours. This is unprecedented. There have never been studies confirmed that using our Timeline Transporter while being engaged by a smaller vessel would result in bringing the vessel with us." He paused. "I can only imagine the troubles this inconvenience has caused you, Captain. Suddenly, your perusal makes sense." Pause. "We purposefully made our ship appear like a dark star so we may study without disrupting the fine fabrics of the timelines. We jet neutrinos to prevent other vessels from studying us. All in caution, mind you. If we had been more aware that you had been following us to simply send our unforgivable mistake back to their timeline, we would have made contact earlier."
"So, now that we understand each other and you're aware as to why we've been looking for you. Can you undo what you've done? Can you send these men back to their timeline?" Talho smiled and nodded in a sweet gesture that warmed Jim's heart.
"Paradoxes are something we have been warned about for centuries. To know that we had almost caused one and nearly destroyed a perfectly functioning society alarms and upsets us. We will fix what is obviously our fault. We will take your counterparts back to their timeline." It was like a breath of fresh air had suddenly opened on the Bridge. Jim smiled at James who wasn't looking at anything in particular—and why should he? He had just been told that he and his Bones and Spock would be going home. The shear emotion that must have been coursing in his older self must have been great. This was why they were here. This is why they had pursued the anomaly—ship—and this was why they were standing here now. They were going home.
James, Mr. Spock and Leonard were all going home.
"We will be ready to beam aboard the men in eight hours. Is this sufficient time for them to be ready?" Talho asked in genuine concern.
"Yes." James said before Jim could. "Yes. We will be ready."
"Then, as there is nothing further to say, I shall contact you in a few hours, Captain Kirk. Once again, I am most apologetic for our mishap. We take full responsibility." The transmission was cut and everyone went silent on the Bridge. Jim felt a heaviness, but not the sad kind that put you on your ass after a horrible night out. It was the kind of heaviness that told you everything was going to be okay. Jim liked this feeling.
James touched his shoulder and brought him from his thoughts. James didn't need to say anything because the wet brown eyes said it all: they were going home.
They were finally going home.
...
According to Leonard and Bones, the Vulcans were okay. The onslaught of the neutrinos had caused them to go a little crazy but were fine now. There were no longer any threats as the readings told them that Captain Talho had cut the jets of neutrinos to allow safe transport of the counterparts to their ship. Bones was sure to voice his opinion that he thought Talho had planned for the Vulcans to react that way, but Jim didn't really care at that point. They were safe and back on the ship.
That was all that mattered.
When Jim reached Sickbay he wasn't surprised to see James already there and beside his own Vulcan. His Spock was in a biobed right beside his older counterpart and both Vulcans appeared to be sleeping soundly. He entered quietly and approached James who was holding Spock's hand so tightly, he could see the white of his knuckles.
James loved Spock.
He really did.
And he was willing to give Mr. Spock a chance to remain here in the timeline than live an unhappy life back in his own. That was honourable by Jim's standards and he believed that not only had he grown, but James had done some growing up too. He didn't know why, but he placed a hand on James' shoulder and began to speak.
"You know," he hesitated, "I should really leave it up to my Spock to decide if he wants to trade places with yours or not, but I'm pretty certain he'd say no anyway." No response. "Hey, what you said back in the cave, that you loved Spock? I could tell you meant it. Anyone who would be willing the sacrifice their love for the one they love is really admirable and…" he paused, "…maybe I was too quick to judge you." James looked up at him at this. His eyes were wet and his face soft from the apparent tears he had been trying to hide. For some reason, Jim wanted to cry too.
"We're Human, you know. We change all the time. Seriously, you think you know us one moment and then bam we're something completely different. We're adaptable. We keep moving and keep struggling for a reason and somehow we always come out a better person in the end. Somehow. Maybe that's what Pike was just trying to tell me all along…and maybe that's what I'm trying to tell you, Jim." Jim had called James 'Jim' intentionally. James kept looking at him but there still seemed to be no response. "What I'm trying to say is, is that we change. I've changed and that means you can too. Spock loves you and I've known about ever since this head shit started happening. I think…I really think he just wants to know if you love him too. If you really love Spock like you said you did back in the cave, then…show him. Honestly, I just think that's all he's been waiting for all along." No more words were spoken as James finally nodded. Jim had never played the 'daddy' role before but seeing the softening features on his counterpart really made him feel like he had done something right for once. He felt good about himself and about James. James, he would do the right thing, Jim was sure.
To give James more alone time with his Spock, Jim distracted himself by going over to his Spock. He knew James had a lot of thinking to do and well—so did Jim.
He looked down at the young Vulcan peacefully sleeping under the thumping biobed. His features were hard but around his eyes was a sort of softness Jim hadn't really ever paid attention to. This Vulcan had done so much for him, even went out of his way to protect him and suffer the consequences for him. Spock was really a good guy when you got pass the whole uptight-alien-kiss-my-ass exterior he showed so frequently. Jim knew he was and was thankful to call this Vulcan his friend.
Perhaps…Jim thought…one day, even more.
"Jim." It was low, baritone and harsh from an unused throat. Jim instinctively looked up to his name, but the minor syllable hadn't been uttered by his Vulcan. He glanced over Spock's torso and saw that older Spock had awakened and was looking at James. He didn't want to be rude and listen to their conversation, but a form of curiosity that could only describe all that is James T. Kirk kept him from moving and so he settled his focus on his Spock and just listened.
"Spock..."
"Where…?"
"Shh, you're safe now. Jim and I…we went and got you. You're safe. You're on the Enterprise." Jim flicked his eyes up and saw that older Spock was looking around the room to regain his bearings. James was still holding his hand tightly. "Spock," he called again, "I have some good news. We're—we're going home. We're going home, finally." The Vulcan looked up at him and his lifted a brow almost too casually.
"Home?" he asked.
"Yes. You and me and Bones. We're all going home. We…we found the way." Mr. Spock glanced over to Jim who immediately tried to make it look like he wasn't eaves-dropping and when his eyes flicked up again, the Vulcan wasn't looking at him but had his eyes closed in what looked like a peaceful submission to some thought. He looked pained and upset. Was Mr. Spock upset that he would be leaving this timeline? Had Jim been wrong to assume the older Vulcan would want to go back to his own timeline?
"I am…pleased…to hear that you and your younger self have found a solution to our problem." The way he spoke was too automatic and from the time they were all spending together and from the implanted emotions, Jim knew he was hiding a deep sorrow at the good news. Even from this distance, Jim could feel that Mr. Spock didn't, in fact, want to leave—but remain here with him.
A pang of sorrow breached his chest and nearly made Jim choke. He looked up and saw as James took Spock's head into both his palms to force him to look at him. "I—I know I've been a horrible lover." James admitted a little too loudly. "I've been cruel to you…very cruel…" he faded for only a moment and released Mr. Spock's head and in turn, Mr. Spock turned again to look in Jim's direction. "And it took seeing the scar you put on my younger self to realize it." The older Spock's eyes went wide for only an instant and then he turned his head to look up at the older Captain. The information that James now knew must have been a little surprising to Spock but then his features softened as he must have thought it would only be a matter of time.
James cupped his cheek. "Yes, I know about it but it's okay, Spock. I…I don't blame you." Pause. "I was selfish. I was cruel. I was…I was…oh hell, I was a lot of things and none of it you deserved. He was right, Jim was. I was afraid of commitment and being solely yours. I was afraid. I admit it, Spock, Captain James Tiberius Kirk was afraid!" He took Spock's hands and clutched them tightly to his chest. "But if there's one thing this whole—" he fumbled for the words, "—timeline—has taught me it's that I don't want to loose you. Ever. Not to Klingons. Not to some pretty interstellar woman. Not to prisons or strange worlds. Not to money. Not to fame. Not to logic—Spock, what I'm trying to say is…" he hesitated but Spock seemed intent to listen to whatever he was trying to say, "Spock…" he began again and caressed the Vulcan's cheek while still holding his hand tightly, "…I….I love you." The tension was suddenly lifted and it was like a whole wall inside of James had just crumbled. From his lips came a sweet litany of all his feelings and as with words, tears spilled down his cheeks. "I love you. I love you. I love you. Spock—I love you!"
The Vulcan seemed lost for words and yet Jim could feel something change in the air. He was overwhelmed with a strange sense of right and caress. As he watched the scene play before him he noticed a sparkle of wetness in the older Spock's eyes. He was dumbfounded by the sentiment of it all.
"Jim." Was all he could manage to say. It may have only been one syllable and it may have only been a name, but Jim felt more emotion in that one word than any facial feature could ever show. James clutched him as tightly as he could and began to whisper.
"And I want to prove it, Spock. I want to prove it to you that I'm not joking and when we return that I'm not going to go back to my old ways." He sniffled and tried to clear his throat so to sound more serious than a sobbing teenager. "And I'm going to prove it to you the only way I know a Vulcan would understand." He paused and readied himself for something. Jim wasn't sure what, but whatever it was James must have been contemplating it for some time. "Spock…I want to be your bondmate—if you'll have me."
Jim watched the Vulcan's eyes go wide again but this time they did not regain control and go back to their steadiness. The tears could no longer be held back as they silently fell from his eyes. "Will you have me?" James asked quietly. "Forever?" No one spoke as the tears now fell freely from both older men. After a full minute of silence, Spock finally spoke.
"Yes, Jim. Yes, I would like to have you as my bondmate if—if you will have me in return." James smiled through his tears.
"Always, Spock."
"Jim." Jim had to look away as he watched his older self and older Spock come together for a kiss. He didn't know why he was embarrassed but as he heard the silent suckling noises and wet sounds of a full-hearted kiss, he knew his face was flushing a brilliant pink colour. It was strange to know that these two men were only a few feet away and making out…but Jim found a form of tenderness in it. It was sweet. Spock was finally getting what he had only wished for and James…James would not regret his choice. Jim knew. He could feel it in his mind that these two would be happy together.
For once, he didn't have a snarky remark to offer as an interruption.
He looked down to his Spock, not really knowing what he was expecting, and he was still sleeping. He looked beautiful there. Unconsciously, he too grasped Spock's hand and held it tightly. Maybe it had been the tenderness of the moment between their counterparts or maybe it was those implanted emotions again, Jim didn't know, but Spock looked beautiful. More beautiful than he ever remembered a man looking. He reached out a trembling hand and moved the ruffled bangs back into perfect form.
Spock.
As he gazed at the sleeping wonder he couldn't help but to remember all that had happened, all they had been through together. From a blooming friendship to an almost destruction of said friendship and then how they worked as a team to solve their problems. Elder Spock had been right. There was potential for a long-lasting friendship in them—and maybe more. It was hard to believe that this sleeping Vulcan who looked so at peace had been the same beast that had thrown him over the helm console to grip his breath away. He touched his forehead again.
Spock.
As his fingers caressed the inhumanly warm skin, his mind burned and suddenly it was just like it had been back in the cave when all his memories had returned. It seemed a straggler had just made it back and Jim watched in his mind as one last memory returned to its rightful place:
/He saw Spock crying as he removed his fingers from his face. But why? Why was Spock crying? He looked up dreamily at the blurry figure he knew was Spock. "I…" Spock stumbled, "I can not remove them, Jim…I am sorry. I do not…I do not know how…I can only offer you…"/
Jim became aware of himself again. The memory hadn't been much but it was more than he had had. So…Spock hadn't been able to remove the emotions? So…had he just masked them instead? Without a complete memory of the situation he was unsure. He thought about it and thought hard as he tried to remember.
Nothing.
So why did—?
"Jim, your emotions are transmitting to me quite fluidly and it is quite painful." Jim looked down at his Spock and released his hand immediately.
"Oh, Sorry about that, Spock." He said nonchalantly—and then his brain caught up with him—"Holy shi—Spock! Spock! You're awake!" He grasped his shoulders tightly, but then remembering the taboo he let him go only to see Spock laughing behind his eyes. He raised a firm brow.
"You sound surprised. Did you not think that I would wake?"
"Shut up, you son of bitch, and let me be happy." He said it a hard heat but he was wearing a smile.
"Obliged, Captain." He looked around the room and seemed to ignore that their counterparts where still very close to one another and possibly still kissing—or maybe they were just talking really close to one another—Jim wasn't sure since now his focus was entirely on his Spock. "I see that I am once again back on the Enterprise."
"Yeah, you have no idea how hard it was to carry your ass all the way from a forest clearing to the Galileo. You're a lot heavier than you look."
"I suppose if I were Human I may have taken offense to such comments, but as I am Vulcan it is normal for our weight to be greater than our body mass." He looked Jim up and down only once. "Of course, the same can not be said for you."
"Hey!" Jim smiled jokingly having just figured out Spock pulled a weight-joke on him. He wasn't aware he had grasped Spock's hand again until the younger Vulcan tugged his hand away. "Oh, sorry." Jim apologized. He blushed. "I didn't know I was—yeah." What. The. Fuck?
Why was I holding his hand again? Jim felt he could have kicked himself for not realizing it sooner. Captain's don't grab their First Officer's hands! Especially not if those hands belong to a Vulcan! He felt his face grow hotter. "Sorry." He said again when Spock offered no response. He just did the Vulcan equivalent of a shrug and looked up at him.
"There is no need to apologize, Jim." He shifted to make himself more comfortable in the biobed. "In fact, it let me know that you are currently thinking of my first mind meld with you." Jim blushed. Damn Vulcans and their damn sensitivities. "I am to assume that you want to know why you have regained your memories?" Jim slowly nodded. Well, since they were on the subject…
"Why were you crying?" Jim suddenly asked. Spock threw up his Vulcan defenses and tilted a brow.
"Vulcans do not cry." Jim was obviously calling him on his bullshit and equally met him with a raised brow of his own. Spock, looking like he had no choice, simply smiled behind his eyes and nodded. "Vulcans do not cry…but half Vulcans may indulge now and then." Jim smiled. They really were friends. Spock began his explanation. "When I was going through your mind to take away the alien emotions, I found that it was far too intricate of a task for me to do. I did, however, try since I was the only available option to help you in your state of mind." He sighed. It was completely Human and Jim felt pleased to know Spock trusted him enough to see it. "As I…looked…I came upon something that was also tied into the alien emotions. It was…our friendship, Jim. It was our growing friendship and I knew that if I took away the emotions, that I would take away our bond. I…" he hesitated, "panicked, so to speak. Logically, I should have removed them along with our friendship, but I chose not to. Completely illogical. So instead of removing them…I masked them. Hid them from you. I knew it would only be a matter of time before they resurfaced, but it was a chance I was willing to take. I…meant what I said, Jim. I have admitted to myself that you are my friend—and I would like to remain as such, illogical as it may be." A comfortable silence fell over them as Jim's smiled broadened as wide as it could.
Spock looked away and Jim wasn't going to miss this opening. "You know…" Spock looked back to him, "you never did give me your answer."
"Answer?" Jim stifled a laugh and brought his face dangerously close to Spock's.
"Wanna be my boyfriend?" Spock's eyes widened just like his counterpart's but fell back into place as a green flush washed over his cheeks.
"I hardly see this as an appropriate time to make sexual advances."
"Come on, the older guys seem to like it!" Jim whined.
"I will say once again, Jim, they are not us." A finger caressed Spock's chin as Jim lifted his face to look at him.
"I bet I can change your mind." The younger Vulcan didn't answer and so Jim boldy went where no man had gone before. He inched closer, feeling his breath bounce back at him as he approached Spock's lips. Spock's lips were parted slightly and his eyes became hooded slits as the incoming contact inched closer and closer. Jim found his own eye-lids heavy as they came together. He knew this kiss would be special and he knew it would feel right. Just a few more millimeters—
"Captain Talho just contacted us again, Jim." Spock pushed Jim back with the fastest hands he's ever seen. Both were startled but Spock looked more panicked than Jim did surprised. Both turned their heads in the direction of the voice and saw their younger doctor standing in the doorway. Jim had never wanted to kill Bones as badly as he did now and it took everything in his body to keep him from doing it.
"Whoa, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your moment." Bones rolled his eyes as Spock tried to make it look like he had been minding his own business and Jim hadn't just tried to kiss him. "But he contacted us and said he'd be ready to take our counterparts back in less than six hours if we can manage to get them ready." Spock looked to Jim.
"He said 'Captain Talho'. Who is this?" Jim laughed and patted his shoulder.
"He's the man who's gonna take them back." He pointed to their counterparts who were hugging and sobbing at the same time, but clearly both were extremely happy. Well, James was sobbing, older Spock looked more like he was holding all the weight of the emotions but he was clearly happy too. Spock didn't need an explanation to know why. He knew. Jim knew he knew. "I'll fill you in on the boring details later."
"I look forward to the report, Captain."
"I know you do." He winked and Spock blushed.
"Okay, okay, enough romancing, already!" Bones shouted with his hands at both Kirks and Spocks. "We gotta get these guys ready to go and we only have a little bit of time left with them. Let's make the most of it, shall we?"
Jim couldn't agree more.
...
A/N – Story's not over yet! But omg, what a story it has been! I think I still got at least three or possibly four more chapters to go before it's done. I'm looking forward to it and I hope you are too! More to come! 8D Thank you so much to everyone who has been supporting me and this story! I really appreciate it!