It was even darker now, the water turning into a black, swishing hole that seemed able to swallow anything life threw into it. She didn't know how long she floated there, back against the water-worn soft rocks and stared at the old gift.
Leah remembered the day Sam had given it to her; she'd been so happy. He'd reappeared out of those dark, looming woods after being lost for weeks; told her it was her voice in his head that had lead him home. Leah and everyone else in the small community of La Push was sure the sixteen year old boy was gone for good; taken, abducted, dead, gone, forever... (Of course, she didn't know then what she knew now.) She was the only one who'd held out faith that he would come home.
And when he came home, he had the necklace in his hand.
He walked in through the door and Leah was sure her world had stopped; the waves stopped crashing, her music went on mute and her voice caught in her throat. He was dirty; haggard looking with deep circles under his eyes and it looked like he'd actually lost weight, the small trace of a belly gone like he'd starved. His chest was bare, scathed but a few scratches and cuts and his arms were muscled, almost bigger than she could remember them being just three weeks before, but they were marred with bruises.
"Leah," He said, his eyes at first needy when they looked at her but now so relieved the boy looked like he might've cried. They grew soft again, those deep brown pools she could get lost in.
"Sam..." She didn't know she'd been crying; but her own voice shocked her out of her daze as it came out a sob and then she was in his arms, wrapped in those large hot arms and she was crying so hard and she didn't care. "You're back..!" She choked out, sure she was wetting his bare chest with her tears as she gripped his waist even harder.
"Yeah, I'm back baby I'm back." One of his hands pressed her head tighter to his chest, his lips resting in her greasy unwashed hair cuz she'd been too worried about him to even care about herself the last few days. "I'm home."
"I was so- I just-" She kept trying to talk but all he did was shush her as he swiftly picked her up like she weighed absolutely nothing and carried them over to her unmade bed. He sat down, placing her in his lap and she curled into his chest. He was so hot, literally warm as fire and Leah loved it since she'd been cold for so long and she didn't wonder why. Sam began a leisurely rocking motion, hand entwined in her hair and Leah's tears running down his chest and stomach and her cheeks as she continued to cry her love for him. Where could he have been all this time....? What could he have been doing?? "W-Where..? Are you okay??" She suddenly perked up, both of her hands resting on Sam's tanned cheeks as she tilted his head this way and that and looking for signs of any damage on her man.
"I'm okay Leah, I'm fine. Now." She didn't pick up on that then; She was too busy engrossing herself in him as his familiar smell permeated her nose stronger than before and she took in finally how much he'd grown and how her head fit snugly a few inches below his chin when he was sitting upright. "Lee, my love.. I missed you so much." He murmured, turning his head into her palm and kissing the soft skin there.
"I missed you too.. Sam where the fuck were you!?" The last part of her sentence came out nearly a scream but Sam paid no heed to it as he only listened to the sadness in her voice and watched more tears drip down her face.
"Don't you worry about that now." He said calmly, "I'm home and that's all that counts." He grinned as she nodded her head and he wiped away the tears from her red cheeks. "I have something for you."
He lifted her out of his lap and back onto the bed then and he got to his knees on the floor before her. Sam's left fist unclenched and inside was the most beautiful piece of jewellery Leah had ever seen. Or ever would see, for that matter.
It was a necklace; as bright a blue as a tropical ocean and it glittered like the sun. The chain was long and gold and it looked so delicate but something made Leah believe it would hold strong. Sam's face seemed to light up more as he took in her reaction to the gorgeous trinket, and then he opened it.
"I know you wanna be a swimmer.. I know you'll like this." His eyes shone with love, pride at seeing Leah's dark blue orbs widen at the beautiful engraving written in handwriting in the back of the locket, carved into the gold.
Leah read it out loud to herself and tears started falling again as she tried to smile but failed miserably.
"I love you so much, Sam." Was all she could stammer out as he locked the necklace again and slipped the beautiful Heart of The Ocean down over her neck, the heart resting between her breasts and a little below.
"I love you more than you could ever know. And I'm always gonna be here, no matter where I am or what I'm doing." He kissed her long and hard, and the night soon turned into something a lot more passionate.
Leah didn't know just how true the last part of Sam's statement was 'til over the last three years. Sam was always there; he was there when he left her, he was there when she broke down, he was there when she pieced herself back together, and he was there when everyone else put her down.
But he was never there the way Leah needed him to be anymore.
Leah sighed to herself, shutting the locket and letting it fall against her chest once more before she looked up at the disappearing sun and decided she should probably go back. One hand at a time, braver than anyone should be, Leah scaled the rock cliff and found herself loving the risk of falling and dying.
..But then again, the ocean never seemed to let her get hurt did it?? She was always so opposite to regular people.. People who only felt safe when their feet were on solid ground and they were around the ones they loved. She felt a little more decent in the rolling ocean currents then she did anywhere else. And she never had anyone to be there with her, did she?
Leah sighed to herself again and finally made it to the top, looking one last time out across the horizon. Far far off, there were traces of dark clouds. The storm warning had been on the news; Leah paid it no mind, she never did. Mother Nature gets angry too yah know. So she pulled on her tank top and shorts over her cold wet bikini, shoved her ear phones in and began the route home again.
As she walked and she listened to music, Leah thought. Like she always did.
Everything she and Sam had, was gone. Everything was over, simply because her cousin had come to visit her. When they first broke up it was literally the roughest thing Leah had ever had to deal with, second only to her father's death. The world closed in and she figured out that for the first time, despite what everyone said, she was alone.
I see your face in my mind as I drive away;
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.
People are people and sometimes we change our minds;
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time..
Leah didn't understand then. Truth be told, to that day she never understood; never would. It almost became even more confusing after she'd phased and Sam explained imprinting to her. Well, didn't 'explain', more like forced her to listen as he tried to cover his tracks. Everything had changed so much.
She most of all.
Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie.
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see..
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down.
Now I don't know what to be without you around..
Leah came to terms, slowly, though. Never completely; she would never fully heal. Ever. No matter what happened. Because a piece of her had been ripped away when he left. And it sucked because he never actually went anywhere. He was still in La Push; still only houses away living with her cousin who she thought too would never betray her in such an evil way. Her world came down and the pieces would never be put back together.
And ever since then, since that day three years ago Leah couldn't deal with life the same way she used to.
And we know it's never simple, never easy;
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand...
And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to.
Breathe,
Without you, but I have to
Leah would always deny it, of course. To everyone around her and more than ever to Sam himself because if there was anything Leah hated worse than heartache it was pity. She was strong; Leah Clearwater was a storm all her own and it would tear through anything before she'd let herself get hurt. She kept trying to reason with herself; make herself come to terms even more by saying things like 'this happens to everybody', and 'you'll be over him soon.' Other people said those things too.
But people lie. Or they can just be wrong.
Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve..
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out;
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall-out..
And we know it's never simple, never easy;
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand..
And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to.
Breathe,
Without you, but I have to.
She was almost home now, she started running again. She almost wanted to phase but she knew she couldn't finish the song if she did. And she knew at least one of the many pack mates around her would stumble in on her thoughts. And that couldn't happen; because, she was stronger than they thought she was... This couldn't get out. They'd find even more reasons to hate her.
'That girl's so obsessive. She's retarded. Oh and she's a liar too. She's not over Sam. Bitter bitch.'
So she would keep fighting back whenever someone took a swing because she knew it was the only way she could protect herself and her heart.
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend;
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me..
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend;
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me...
And we know it's never simple, never easy;
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, ohhh...
I can't, breathe,
Without you, but I have to.
Breathe,
Without you, but I have to.
Breathe,
Without you, but I have to...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry yeah...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.....
She was home suddenly and her legs ached as she walked inside. Fuck how Leah wished she could just leave and let herself get some piece from them. But, as much as she hated to admit it, she had Seth.
And he would never forgive her if she left him.
Looking up, Leah wasn't surprised to find everyone still perched in her house in their usual spots. Sam at the kitchen table with coffee, Paul sitting beside him with a bored face and Jared just standing. Quil and Embry in on the couch, Jacob and Seth on the living room floor playing Seth's ps3.
'So mundane,' she thought, heading upstairs. 'Everything seems to be in the wrong places around me.'
-
Sam stared up after her as she disappeared into her room. She looked so... He couldn't describe it. These last few weeks, maybe months.. Leah'd been so out of place. More so than usual, per se. But Sam couldn't bring himself to describe just how. It was like.. It was like she was making changes in her life and those changes didn't involve him and the pack so they wouldn't notice anything particular.
That thought scared him.
Leah was his, deep down he knew she always would be even if she wasn't with him. He stole her purity, trashed her self-esteem and broke the most valuable thing she had; her heart. And then the life she'd been forced into with him killed her father. Sam just brought everything down around him. He knew Leah phasing was out of everyones' control, but he still felt so responsible for it. After all.. He was the reason she'd phased.
Walking in on your boyfriend and your cousin going at it like literal wild dogs could do that to you.
He shook his head, downing another gulp of coffee. Thinking about this shit was the reason he never slept at night anymore, and why Emily was the furthest thing from his mind lately, he was sure. If he could only stop thinking about her, his life could return to relative normalcy.
Well you know, as normal as being a shape-shifting wolf who's magnetized to a chick and who fights vampires for a past time could be.
He tore his eyes away from the stairs the shewolf had ascended and looked through the archway at the younger members of his pack instead. Jacob had moved to the couch and traded spots with Embry, who was currently getting his ass kicked by Seth at a video game as Sam could tell from the sporadic curses.
But it was Jake who's eyes caught his attention.
Sam watched the other Alpha bear a thoughtful look, gaze centered on the stairs where Sam's had been. Curious. Very curious indeed. Jake was fiddling with something in his hands too, and upon closer inspection Sam found it to be one of Leah's hair clips.
Her hair, that's right.. Leah'd grown her hair out again, hadn't she? How had he not noticed that?? Briefly, he wondered if Jake had. And had to suppress a weird growl from the back of his throat at the thought.
Jared glanced at him oddly, raising an eyebrow as did Paul so Sam tried to shrug it off by clearing his throat and taking another sip of java.
...He should go talk to her. Yes. He should. He knew she wouldn't like it, butttttttt, it was worth a shot. After all, no one had thanked her for the meals she'd been preparing the last two weeks and no one had even spoken a word to her as she'd come in.
Yeah. Sam would go talk to her. He groaned inside. 'What a dumbass idea, dumbass.'
He didn't know whether to be relieved, or agitated as the phone rung.
-
Leah, headphones in once again, listened to a song she herself had written. She was singing too of course, but in all honesty it took someone else's opinion to make yourself believe you were actually a good one. And, no one had ever heard her sing. Seth maybe did once upon a time, she sang him lullabys when she was little. But other than that, she sung when she was alone and made careful sure not to sing them in her mind when she was phased. The other thing Leah did was play the guitar; she'd attempted piano too but that was an epic fail.
She was pretty sure her mom still thought one of the boys had broken her beloved harpsichord.
But her guitar was another one of the precious attributes left to her from her father. Pretty much the only thing. It was a black acoustic with swirls of blue glitter going up one end. (No, she didn't know why her father had blue glitter on his guitar.) She imagined that maybe he'd planned to give it to her someday anyway. Or maybe Seth. (She wouldn't put pretty blue glitter past him.)
Eyeing the guitar standing against the wall at the other end of her light purple bedroom, Leah sighed. It'd been a week or two since she picked it up and attempted to write a new song. The melodies she dreamed up in her head seemed to come and go. Swimming took up a lot of her time lately. She knew music was probably more therapeutic, but there was of course a small piece of her that didn't want to get over Sam because she wanted to let the prick continue to self-suffer over what he'd turned her into. Oh and it was alot easier to be called 'normal' if you just went swimming instead of writing more break-up songs than twenty of the bubblegum pop girls could combined.
And one more thing; her songs were her private moments. If she couldn't keep to herself in her memories, she'd keep to herself in song. Turning up the volume a little on her Ipod, she listened to a song she'd written a few months before. It was all her and her guitar; no back-up vocals or drums or electric effects; the quality wasn't that good either, she'd recorded it with her cell phone and converted it to an audio file on her laptop and then stuck it on her Ipod. None the less, her own voice singing words made them more believable.
Take a look at all your friends;
See the fire, I feel the end.
Then a time to love, a time to hate;
a time to lose, to liberate is over..
I'm gunnin' for you;
I'm gunnin' for you.
And I will wait; I'll write another letter to myself.
And I will find out morning comes faster alone..
Don't put yourself in the wrecking ball;
Morning comes and you'll lose it all.
And I feel this time and time again;
I love the one, my friend..
I'm gunnin' for you;
I'm gunnin' for you.
And I will wait, I'll write another letter to myself..
And I will find out morning comes faster alone.
I'm gunnin' for you;
Yeah, I'm gunnin' for you;
Yeah, I'm gunnin' for you..
I'm gunnin' for you..
And I will wait, I'll write another letter to myself.
And I will find out that morning comes faster alone..
I started to bleed;
I started to shake;
I'm going insane..
I started to see you;
I started to run..
It started to rain.
I started to see you;
I started to run.
Oh, baby I'm ok.
Baby I'm okay;
Baby I'm okay..
Baby I'm Okay.
For some reason it seemed inappropriate to play the next song on her Ipod. She didn't know why, but Leah found herself shutting off the music anyway and pulling back the covers on her bed. It was early; the sun had set completely about half an hour ago. Maybe it was eight? Eight-thirty? She didn't know and she almost didn't have the strife to pull out her cell and look; more adequately, she didn't care. Leah was tired, and when people got tired people slept.
Pulling on some pjs and dumping her dirty clothes in a corner on her floor (ever one of the messiest people ever), headed for her bed. The warmth was really tempting. Her sleep was rare, but undisturbed when she was allowed the chance to finally get it. But there were always these small interruptions-
The was a knock at her bedroom door.
Leah cursed and went to open it, only to see tall and handsome Jacob Black. Leah still couldn't pinpoint the exact moment in time when Jake had turned from boy to man. She thought it might've been when he'd saved her from one of that bitch Victoria's goons, and ended up getting the entire left side of his body smashed in.
Her fault again.
"Hey." He smiled.
That big, cute, stupid smile.
"Hey." She said, voice softer than she'd intended. "What do you want?" Leah couldn't help but try to shield herself behind her door, seeing as she slept in underwear and an almost-see-through white tank top. Jesus all she wore was tank tops when she really thought about it.
"Nothin' really... Well, we just got a call from my dad and Old Quil." He said, running a hand through his choppy black hair. It too had grown out some, letting him maintain some of his boyish charm that the muscles usually concealed.
"Oh yeah?" She asked, faking interest. "What did they want?" 'Probably to shoot me, or let me die of insomnia. I'd rather be shot. But then in my case, I guess it's called getting 'put down' isn't it?'
"Apparently there's another pack."
"Oh whoopee."
Jake rolled his eyes.
"They're Canadian, I think. Cree. They've heard about us too and their Alpha wants to arrange a meeting. You know, probably get some partnership thing on the go." Leah nodded at his words, faintly wishing for another girl and then wanting to strangle herself because wishing this on some other poor unfortunate chick was a crime. "They're comin' down to the rez in a few days for a meet and greet."
Leah nodded again.
"..So.?" She finished. 'Fuck I'm tired..'
"Uhhh... Just thought I'd tell yah." Jacob said, hand not leaving his rustled hair. Leah sighed and nodded.
"Well thank you. Now I'm goin' bed. Goodnight, Jacob." She said annoyingly, about to close the door.
A dark hand stopped it from shutting.
"Oh, and Leah??"
"What now??"
"Um... I'm glad you decided to stay in the pack with us and everything.." Leah fought to keep her jaw clenched. She searched his eyes; no trace of lies or sarcasm. Jake was actually telling the truth. It was surprising, to say the least. Well she'd seen Jake be nice before but it was usually only because he had to be. And usually only when they were dealing with an oncoming bloodsucker apocalypse.
But once again, no lies or sarcasm shone in Jacob's wolfish eyes. That left Leah to fill the void.
"Yeah I bet you are." She snorted. "Probably for the same reason you're staring at my legs while I'm in my underwear."
Jacob turned bright red and his orbs flew back to her own.
"N-No-"
"Okay Jake. Can I go to sleep now?? Please?" Leah begged fakely, giving Jake an annoyed grunt.
Jake gulped and turned away. "Yeah, sure... Night, Leah."
"Bye." Her voice turned soft all of a sudden and she knew she had to shut the door. So she did fairly fast and then she was in her bed. Sleep came quickly; songs played in her head and she dreamt about swimming. She dreamt about Sam.
AN: Hope you guys liked chapter 2 :) I gotta say, the reviews I'm getting on this are awesome. Thanks for the support guys! But can I ask one little favor please?? I don't wanna sound like one of those authors who's unappreciative and trust me I'm not like that, but it would be totally cool if all the authors who faved and alerted this would be so kind as to leave a review too. In all honesty the more reviews a story gets, the more people who read it to see what the hype's about and the more the story gets around :) And I think this story's pretty special; but then again every author thinks that don't they??
Ah welllll lol. But what I mean is, out of all the SamxLeah fics I've read none contain as much drama as this one seems to and you guys haven't even seen a tragedy yet. Plus reviews just also make me happy and make me wanna update faster :) Thanks for the time guys!