AN: Hi guys! I'm back up on it with chapter 4, out already simply because my readers are amazing and totally supportive :) Thanks a million guys! Like the PMs and the reviews have just been deadly, they're so encouraging and they really make me feel fulfilled as a writer. PS; did I mention this chapter's a lil bit more interesting then the rest? ;)

The next day started off like any other.

Leah was robbed by precious sleep from Jake. Leah was forced to go out on patrol. Leah was, once again, dead on her feet.

It just kept getting better and better.

Jake's russet fur ahead of her was a stark contrast to the greens and browns of the forest, all blurring past them as once again the same old tired trail was ran. The sky was even darker today than it had been yesterday and Leah was surprised it hadn't already started raining. There was serious doom and gloom outside.

But leave it to Jacob Black to be as annoying and exhausting as possible on a day when Leah wanted nothing more than to go home, lie back in bed and die. Her Alpha continuously tried to start meaningless conversations with her, talking about this and that, who and who and so and so. The environment around her started to mesh together and as it looked like some watercolor gone wrong Leah realized she'd stopped listening forever ago.

'..so then Embry and I needed to replace the muffler and so-' Jake brought up solid, stopping still as a stone and as he expected Leah slammed into his hind quarters with enough force to move him a few inches. 'Jesus, Leah are you really that off in space?' Jake snapped, turning on his paws and staring down his former Beta. (Position went right back to Jared when the packs joined up again. How surprising.)

Leah whined low in her throat, cursing and telling herself to wake up and get with it. Jake cocked a wolfish eyebrow as he listened to her try to sort through her thoughts and watched her shake the surprise from her body from their collision.

'What is wrong with you?' Leah snapped.

'What's wrong with me? Says the one who makes a worse listener than a vacuum cleaner!' Jacob rolled his eyes with a low growl from his chest.

'Well, I'm not very attentive at hours I'm usually asleep!' Leah growled, hackles rising dangerously. Then suddenly, they dropped and she shook her head.

'Look, I'm just still tired okay?' She grumbled. Just for effect, Leah flashed pictures of her swimming from the day before to make herself seem more exhausted.

'Leah, you're always tired! Besides, we've been running patrol the same time we always do, what the fuck has made it so difficult for you these last few months? Why are you suddenly so damn exhausted all the time?'

Her ears flattened against her skull and she weaned in annoyance. Sometimes, it didn't seem like she was tired, more like.. She just didn't feel the need to get out of bed.

She could practically feel Jacob rolling his eyes. 'That's rich, Leah. Forget to hide your thoughts?'

Oops. Yes she did. This was the exact reason why she didn't like being around them; she couldn't soak in her own misery, she couldn't do the things she wanted, she couldn't keep any secrets, she had to be around Sam all the time, and she couldn't be on the defence for herself without them ranting and raving about what a bitch she was.

Jake frowned, reading her thoughts.

'And here I thought me and you were beginning to understand each other.' He pouted and Leah could've sworn that wolf could pull a sad face. Jake extended his front paws and leant towards her before arching his hind quarters into the air, tail a-wagging and eliminating Leah's idea that he was sad. 'I know what'll make you not tired anymore!' He barked. 'Race me around the Cullens' place!' Holy shit, a wolf winked at her.

Jacob ignored her surprise.

Leah just sat back on her haunches, tail flat on the ground before making one annoyed thump and sweeping some underbrush away from her.

'I'm really not in the mood, Black. Really.' She sighed, looking everywhere but his face.

...Now there was a new one. Leah Clearwater; afraid of Jacob Black's racing speed? Since when?

Leah snarled at his thoughts (it worked). Jake yipped at her, even going so far as to lean forward more and snag her silver ear between his teeth. 'Come on Leah, we both know you just don't wanna race because you know I'm faster than you!'

Leah flicked her head and removed herself from his mouth, luckily only losing a bit of fur in the process, but instead of taking off and thus kicking his sorry ass, she walked away.

'I don't want to race because I'm tired.' She said calmly.

Even the tone of her thoughts seemed like a parent who was losing patience with an over-active child. But it was Jacob, was there a difference?

As the news really did sink into Jake's skull, he plastered on a real pout and trotted over in front of his previous Beta, tail hanging limp. 'Okay, I am so not buying this... Come on Lee, what is wrong? I'll beg yah for the answer. Want me to beg? Huh?' His playful banter made Leah fight against the urge to at least send the boy a small smile, something to show she was appreciating his attempts at amusing her, but she had nothing. She knew she should smile; or at least say thanks but then she remembered all the other times they never had the same courtesy and she just growled low in her throat.

'No, Jake, I'm tired. Just plain friggen' exhausted, so can we please finish patrol without you irritating the shit out of me so I can go home and sleep?' She mind-snapped at him quickly. Jake whimpered and leaned backwards.

'Fine. See where being nice gets me?'

'It'll get you a black eye pretty soon if you don't shut up.'

That did it, and Jake just had to growl back. (Nowadays, anger was easier to accept from them than kindness; the latter was just too rare.)

'Stop being such a cunt, seriously. I only wanna help you Leah, for Christ's sake.' Jake chattered on, turning his rust-colored furry back on her and walked away, back along the route of patrol. He could practically feel Leah's mental eye roll, but her thoughts went into that strange lapse of single-minded silence, like when he was talking about fixing his rabbit with Embry earlier.

Luckily Jake was becoming an expert, along with Sam at keeping his own thoughts to a minimum when others were around, like the whole character freakin' sketch monologue he could just hear himself begin to spout in his head. Leah on the other hand had learned to shut down her thoughts completely. She did a nice job of hiding them nowadays.

And that was good too. Actually it was freakin' fantastic because Jake was tired of seeing polaroids of happier times with Sam flashing back and forth in Leah's head. He'd seen more of his fellow Alpha then Jake had ever wanted to know about and he was sure it had scarred him for life. He knew sometimes she didn't try it, but sometimes Leah was deliberately cruel enough to fill the pack's minds with images they didn't want to see. Like Embry's parentage; that was mean.

And so the pack would fire back; hell Jake had fired back a thousand times. Never the type of stuff that Paul and Jared thought about (Paul had this one particular dark little fantasy where he actually just turned around and ripped her throat out with his teeth; Leah seemed unaffected and practically expectful.) and Jared just wanted to punch her in the face sometimes. Leah welcomed that too because Leah Clearwater was not scared of a pack of ruddy boys. Clearly.

The only thing she was afraid of was in the pack though, and he had memories that could shut her up in a moment or send her packing home. Jake had encouraged it a lot actually, for Sam to relay those memories he'd have from dinner with Emily that morning and kissing her as he left for patrol. Visions of them going to bed at night and their small gestures of the love Leah would never have with him ever again.

Jake had to agree that it was cruel sometimes yeah, but sometimes it was just fair.. Leah was really spiteful, really bitter. In all honesty she should've been over him years ago. It had been nearly three now. It was time to move on, like fuck.

That was the reason he got so angry every time he heard Sam's name in her mind, wasn't it? Because she gave his fellow Alpha no peace? Sometimes, and fuck one of those times was now because this discussion with himself always seemed to show up when he thought about her, he didn't think that was the reason why. Leah had grown very close to him when they formed their own pack and rebelled against Sam's gag order when Bella was pregnant. And sometime during those few weeks together Jake had come to understand Leah just a little better; He liked to think that way anyway. Actually he liked to think about her a lot; that was why he questioned his apparent 'jealousy' whenever Sam was concerned.

It wasn't like he liked Leah that way. He had an imprint and he loved Renesmee to pieces even though all she needed the Quileute native to be at the moment was a good friend. And, it wasn't like he hadn't thought about Leah that way.. In all honesty he was pretty sure every dang member of the pack had thought about that way the first time she'd phased in all her naked glory. (Yeah, they considered it for about twenty minutes before they got the whiplashing of a lifetime from the only female shifter.)

Around the time of splitting off from Sam though, those feelings had obviously intensified a bit from being in more close proximity and sharing that special Alpha-Beta connection with Leah. They talked more and more and could be remotely civil to eachother at the best of times. He liked to think he'd made things better for her; and he had, according to her testimony. Jacob had indeed seen the day when Leah had become less annoying then Paul.

Actually, she still was less annoying then Paul. Just a hell of a lot more tantalizing. But anyway, then Jake had gone and agreed to reunite the packs again and they were back to surname basis.

He'd never admit it of course (he was pretty damn glad he'd learned to hide some thoughts so Leah wouldn't hear), but he missed their connection. A lot.

And that's where everything comes back to Sam and Emily because they were the ones who turned Leah into what she was today; a nuisance who 'deserved to be taken out back and shot' according to Paul. Jake didn't agree with that at all.. But what the fuck could he do, really? He couldn't make the guys stop hating her and he couldn't make himself stop getting mad every time she was bitchy to him. It was a full-circle type of deal.

If only she'd stop. If only Leah wasn't so goddamned difficult Jake would do everything in his power to try and help her get over Sam. Hell, even lately he was having ideas about how to do that..

...And how did you know if something would work if you didn't have the balls to try it?

With a sigh, Jacob stopped running. Leah's soft foot falls from about thirty feet behind him stopped as well.

'Can we phase back now? I wanna go home.' Typical Leah. Jacob thought nothing, just phased back to human form and pulled on his torn-up jeans. He turned back to look at her and gave her a nod. Leah turned and walked into some bushes, to which Jake saw shake and a small glimpse of her bare back before she stood up straight in her regular pair of white shorts and a loose-fitting black tank top.

It was time to shake things up a bit.

Leah pulled her hair from the straps of her tank top. Turned around and found Jacob Black a lot closer to her than she remembered. Cocking an eyebrow, she stepped backward only to have Jacob's hand land on her waist and tug her right back up close and personal.

"Um, what the hell are you doing?" She asked, placing a hand on his chest and trying to shove him away. She looked up at him with surprised dark blue eyes. A lot of people thought they were brown; Jake could see now that they were wrong.

"This." He replied simply before reaching forward, pressing his lips to hers.

For a moment, she stood rock still, the feel of his lips on hers rough and dry.

And it didn't feel bad. Not bad at all.

Jacob Black was kissing her.

Oh, holy fuck.

Pulling away, gasping she stared at him.

"Jake, what the fuck?!" He grinned at her, cheekily.

"Just wanted to see what you'd do."

"And you're a about find out! I'm going punch your lousy face in Black, and unlike Dumbella, it'll actually hurt!"

"Your lips are softer than hers."

"Ugh, I did not need to know that. Lesbian dreams are more than enough to handle, thank you."

"Oh, come on." He said snatching her hand and pulling her closer. "You liked it."

"I'm sorry," She gritted her teeth. "But do you get some sort of sick pleasure kissing girls who don't want to be kissed and then telling them they liked it, or are you just a sucker for pain?"

Crap, she was going to stomp the asshole's feet with all her might if he didn't let her go. A tiny part of her mind registered that Jake's hands were warm, very warm, and she liked men with a firm grip, didn't she?

Well she told that tiny part to fuck off.

Ripping her hands out of his, shouting out threats and obscenities, Leah flipped her hair, turned around, death threats still being yelled out loud and strong, and stomped home.

***********

Leah slammed her bedroom door behind her and sat down on her bed with a huff.

The fucking nerve of that kid! Ah, well, maybe not kid. Jake was a little older than she was, not that he ever acted that way. Most of them were in fact, still didn't stop them from being totally immature. Fucking Jake with his stupid grin and his goddamn hot bod-

'I need to cool down.'

Leah's eyes danced around her room till they landed on what she was looking for. Purple bikini and her blue iPod. Grabbing both she was out the door.

Seth, seated at the kitchen table, cocked a brow. 'Please be something NOT to do with Sam or the pack.' He just groaned inwardly and returned to his Gameboy.

-

About half an hour later Leah was feeling that familiar burn in her lungs and her legs from running full-out on a completely empty stomach and not stopping once. Looking out at the looming darkness the grey clouds brought huddling over La Push, Leah all but sighed deeply.

Today definitely made her list of things she never thought she'd do in her life. She'd friggen kissed Jacob Black.

She'd friggen kissed Jacob Black, and it was kinda nice.. . but then, Jacob Black had an imprint.

Leah practically felt her heart rip in two from the sheer thought of reality and she grit her teeth to stifle a scream. Not this again... Fuck, no, not this again.

No. There would be no that again. Pulling her tank top off over her head, Leah stared down at the swirling water below. Never. Not in a million years. She would jump off and drown before she ever let herself be torn apart by an imprint again. In fact, just thinking about it made jumping off and drowning seem like a pretty good deal.

'No Leah, think of Seth. Think of your mom. ..Though all she seems to be thinking of these days is Charlie Swan's saggy balls-' She jumped.

'NO. NO, LEAH. Enough of that. Never, EVER think of that again. Never.'

Jesus. As her body collided with the cold water she was beginning to think this day was right up there on the list of days that scarred her for life; right up next to the day Sam said he didn't wanna be with her anymore and that night she went to her-HIS, house; ..Found him and Emily fucking like rabbits on the couch.

Yeah. Drowning seemed like a pretty good idea. And suddenly the necklace around her neck felt like a dead weight against her chest. Dragging her down.

Letting her body sink down deeper and deeper to the murky depths, Leah replayed the day with Jake behind her eyelids to try and shed some light on the situation (get her mind off of Sam). He didn't like her that way; right? Sure, she and Jake had grown closer lately, but that connection was lost as soon as he made her go back to Alpha extraordinaire Sammy. And Jake had Renesmee, no matter whether she was a highly intelligent baby or not.

Besides, Leah didn't like Jake in that way... How was she supposed to explain it to him if that's what Jake was getting at?

As her air began to run out, Leah seriously pondered just tying cement blocks to her ankle and letting herself become fish food. This day was way too much. She was too tired to deal with all of this crap. With an underwater sigh, she shot herself back up to the surface and looked down at the wet jewel between her breasts.

Why did she keep doing this to herself..? Why couldn't she let go? ..Let him go?

It hurt her to the core to think it. But she was so far past denying it that even trying to was painful.

She couldn't let go of Sam because she didn't want to.

He was the last shred of normalcy her memories held; Sam and her father and sitting in the backyard by the fire place, roasting wieners and toasting marshmallows while her father played his- her,.. Guitar. Cuddling up next to Sam on that worn out bench she'd used for firewood last year.

Sam Uley was the last shred of happiness her memories held. And she had lost both of them at almost the exact same time. (Who knew that running home bawling after seeing them in what was supposed to be her future home, and having Sam follow her begging for forgiveness would lead to her phasing for the first time and triggering her father's fatal heart attack?)

Leah knew who alright. The fucking gods seemed to have it out for her awful bad. (If she had the slightest idea what she'd done to deserve it, she would've taken it back in a heartbeat.)

With a sad sigh Leah looked down at the Heart of the Ocean again like she did days ago. Now the fates were dangling Jake in front of her as well.. Like it was some cruel joke.

And the only thing that made it worse was the fact that that kiss with Jacob Black was amazing though she'd never admit it; but it didn't even compare to a kiss with Sam.