AN: Hey guys! Once again, sorry for the day-late delay :/ My beta ran into some more problems, and she added quite a bit of her own touch to this chapter so she needed extra time :) Thanks a million for the support and shit we got for last chapter guys! And as always, thank my awesome betas RenesmeeCarlieBlack and cjfed :) Without them this deadlyness would cease to exist.
Important: This is for readers who DO NOT MIND SHAMELESS SEX. So listen up; I'm conducting a survey about the wolfpack members; it'll have 43 questions and they're all 'name the wolf' ones like yah know, all your own personal opinion. This survery will give me the chance to see how everyone thinks inside; how they want their fave boyz to act in the sack for a better read ;) If you would like me to send you a copy of the survey for you to do and help (all the people who've done it so far say it's hilarious :) ) PM ME. YOU MUST HAVE MSN. I can't create docX connections with everyone :p Haha. But seriously guys think about it. Everyone who participates gets their usernames mentioned in the story I plan to use the survey for ;)
She thought she was dead.
The last thing she'd seen was a rainy, grey sky; story of her life. She remembered blistering pain for a moment; and then it dulled, just like her vision. Creeping blackness destroyed her peripheries first, soon encasing the sky and all with it and then everything was just gone.
Leah could remember it had been hard to focus; but as soon as the feeling of foreboding death sent chills up her injured limbs the female shifter knew just where her thoughts should rest; on her family.
She remembered everyones face clearly in the haze that was her mind. She saw her mother, the beautiful Sue Clearwater. With her anger at her mother, for being with Charlie so soon, placed aside, Leah remembered her compassionate face and her everlasting and undoubtable love for both her and Seth. How she longed for her mother's arms that held her through her toughest times and wiped the tears away when she cried. ...Maybe Charlie would be able to make her happy, after she was gone.
Leah saw Seth. Oh God Seth. She couldn't contain the heartwrenching sob that followed. Her cry echoed in the midnight dark room. Seth, the only one she seemed to still have a chance of connecting with and who she knew still loved her. Would she ever see him again? His face overcame her mind, his sweet expression full of love. Seth.
Jacob. God. He had been so kind to her, understanding, and life-altering. His presence calmed her, soothed her when she needed to be soothed. They understood the pain and depression eachother were going through and their relationship developed from the torment and sorrow they shared. He was there for Leah whenever she needed him, acting as her own personal star; lighting up the darkness in her heart.
She reminisced on Embry. That arrogant bastard... She'd miss him.
Quil. Leah prayed for his happiness in the long years that would follow him, the ones she wouldn't be there for.
Jared.
Colin.
Brady.
Each name was a stab to her heart. Another person she would never be able to see again.
Paul.
May he rot in the fiery pits of hell for all she cared.
Then she saw Emily. Her breathtaking features marred by the permanent scars inflicted on her face. She reminisced on her kindness, her love. Oh Emily. Her heart ached at the thought of her cousin and once upon a time, best friend. Emily had left a permanent mark, an imprint, on her heart. She had always been there for her, when no one else understood, providing her an escape. Her heart throbbed as she remembered everything she and Emily had been through as cousins and friends. Without warning, the only memory she wished to suppress overtook her mind.
It had been a beautiful night. The moonlight shone brilliantly upon the beach and the golden and russet flames from bonfire cast breathtaking shadows.
Leah was stunning. Her hair hung in a beautiful mess, the long mane tousled over her precariously and accented by the ruby flames. Leah's eyes were midnight and smoldering and her russet skin gleamed. Her necklace hung from her neck, the brilliant sapphire and cerulean pendant the only contrast in the redish hues of the fiery blaze. Everything about the night was perfect.
Emily stood at her left. Her hair was pulled elegantly into an elaborate design on her head, the beautiful french braid wrapping around. Her face was breathtaking then, not maimed by the scars that were later to come. They walked together, hand in hand, and Leah searched for his face among the others that encompassed them.
"Embry," Leah had inquired, "Do you know where Sam is?"
"Oh thats right!," Embry sighed, clearly remembering that he had a message from Sam to give to Leah, "Sam said not to wait for him. He'll be here later tonight."
The night continued. Between the dancing and the laughter and the food, everything was perfect. When Leah's thoughts drifted to Sam, she clutched her hand around 'the heart of the ocean' and read Sam's silent promise: "Leah; when life is pulling you deeper and trying to drown you, swim for home. I'll always be waiting for you. Love, Sam."
When the time came for Old Quil and Billy to tell the legends of the Quiluete tribe, Emily was captivated. Her reaction stunned Leah. This was the first time she had been at a Quiluete bonfire and therefore, the first time she had heard the legends. Her expression was brilliant, her stunned face torn between admiration and.. Knowledge. Her reaction had been similar to the one Leah had when she first heard the mystical legends of "Spirit Warriors" and the beauty of "imprinting" (at least she had thought it was beautiful at the time). When the tales had finished, Emily smiled, a slow brilliant smile, one that would later be marred by the scars.
Sam came then. His arms encircled Leah's waist and he buried his head in her neck, sighing deeply and inhaling the glorious scent that was Leah. Sam lifted her off her feet and flipped her into his chest. She sighed, content in Sam's warm arms. They faced each other silently, their eyes locked. Sam's eyes smoldered, darker than midnight, as he looked at Leah. Spellbound by the miraculous epiphany that Leah's breathtaking self was meant for him. He couldn't believe that she was his. He had kissed Leah deeply, pasionately, fervently.
"Sam," she murmered against him, placing kisses along his collarbone. He put her down gently and then placed his arms around her waist.
"I wanted you to meet my cousin, Emily."
That was when Leah's world shifted. As Sam stiffened and his arms dropped from her waist, Leah reached for her necklace, knowing that the beautiful sapphire pendant and the promising engraving would always be there... Even when Sam wouldn't.
The universe had been altered. Even though she hadn't been able to understand the significance and magic behind what had just happened, she saw the brilliance and the light that surrounded both Emily and Sam. It was blinding, and she felt her eyes water when she caught a glimpse of the expression mirrored in both of their faces.
Admiration.
Love.
With her 'heart of the ocean' lying upon her palms Leah read the inscription to herself silently.
'Leah; when life is pulling you deeper and trying to drown you, swim for home. I'll always be waiting for you. Love, Sam.'
I'll always be waiting for you... Love, Sam...
~*~
Leah cried out, deservedly, after the torture her memory had inflicted on her.
Sam.
She'd dwelled on his face the longest.
His beautiful face that she swore Michaelangelo had carved himself. Leah saw the love and admiration in his eyes when he looked at her, as if seeing through to her soul. His piercing midnight eyes and scorching warmth. She would miss him...
And now, she was here... In this horrible, horrible hell where fire burned her limbs to the epitome of pain and everything was always black; save for the moments where the light was let in, and brought with it her torture.
Leah supposed she was alive, yeah; and she knew they still had her. Could feel burning rope, rubbing her wrists and ankles raw. Could smell the filthy stench of sex mixed with her own blood and probably their's, she didn't know. She heard their voices; speaking of her, speaking of plans for the future that had everything, she guessed, and yet nothing to do with her.
Her back was nothing but a dominant ache; a searing pain that racked her entire body with white hot streaks of agony everytime she attempted to move, or, everytime they moved her. She'd been shot, hadn't she? Yeah...
Then there was the crushing weight, the heavy feeling settled permanently on her chest, her ribs and her stomach and it got a hundred times worse whenever he came back in and used her again. (How long had she been awake...?) Leah honestly didn't know; struggling, trying desperately was more like it though and she tried to think of the timing schedule. The shewolf had drifted in and out of sleep forever, it seemed; or consciousness? She didn't know (jesus she knew this but she didn't know that, on and on). Her brain was too muddled, too oxygen-deprived for too long perhaps and it just fucked everything up.
She should never have left home.
A creak sounded from the other end of the room. Oh, fuck. Not again. 'Please, not again...'
Light suddenly soaked the room in his ominous presence and he laughed at her, watched her shut her eyes pathetically against the burn. (Didn't know it was just because she couldn't bare to watch this.)
"Sleeping, were you?" Karl. "I'm sorry if I woke you. But me and you, see, we need to have a little talk." (Could you hear smirks now?)
'Bite your goddamn tongue Clearwater and don't you dare utter a word to that prick until he finally kills you. Don't let him have the satisfaction!!'
She heard a page turn. The book.
"It's strange, yah know, that your pack doesn't have one of these. ..Or does it? You don't seem too interested in this."
'I'm a good liar.' She heard more pages turning in the giant book. No, the Quileute natives did not have a book like that. But fuck, Leah wished they did. It had everything; the things Karl had read to her from that book, the incidents he explained to her that herself and none of the elders knew shit about. It was like unravelling the mystery only too late to solve it, getting told the answers to life's greatest questions and at the same time learning to say 'fuck you God' in a hundred different languages all at once.
The book had everything; everything her pack had needed or ever wanted to know. And it was too late. For her, anyway.
Karl waited a minute more before sighing heavily and flipping another page. He leant against the wall casually, reading over the lines written in ancient script handwriting. Passed down from generation to generation of Cree shapeshifters; it was their Gospel. Their light and it had all the answers they would ever need to know; that's what made it so easy to take the girl. What made it so easy for them to grow up bigger and stronger than the others, and add to their pack even faster than the regular rate. How they tore bloodsuckers apart with barely a second glance; and, perhaps most interesting of all, how to subdue a rare female shifter.
But he wouldn't read those entries to Leah; not yet. Karl Flying Arrow found himself chuckling out loud when he stuck one hand into his pocket and pulled something up from the depths.
"I take it you're not going to talk again today." Ah, so more than a few days had passed. "Well that's too bad. I guess I'll have to do enough talking for the both of us then, won't I?"
There was a familiar, almost silent click and Leah's eyes shot open.
Karl burst out laughing. "'Leah; when life is pulling you deeper and trying to drown you, swim for home. I'll always be waiting for you. Love, Sam.' So this was what got you all hot n' bothered while I fucked you the other day? Some stupid Alpha issue?" He laughed again; but there was, indeed, a hint of something else in his voice. Jealousy, maybe? Anger? Hell yes.
Leah nearly bit through her lip at the reading of the scripture and before she could stop herself a sob erupted from her throat, causing Karl to step closer to her with that I'm-Better-Than-You smirk on his face.
"So what happened? Samuel mentioned that his fiancee's name was Emily. Pretty touching gift to give to someone who he wasn't in love with don'tcha think?" He asked her, genuine curiousty coloring his words now. But then Karl was silent for a moment; Leah liked it that way. "...Or did he love you?"
She turned her head away from him, shut her eyes as tight as she could and quailed another cry of pain both physical and emotional from escaping. (Don't pity me.)
"Well well well. That's just depressing. He imprinted on her, didn't he? The girl in the pictures, the girl with the ruined face. Did he do that? Hm?"
'Stay silent, girl. Silent.'
"Hm. I feel bad for you. Sucks I guess, because it's clear you're havin' a spot of trouble gettin' over your Alpha there. You know what? I think I wanna read you something. Can't let your deliciously bad mood go to waste." The smirk was so clear in his grotesque voice that Leah wanted to scream at him, launch herself out of her holds and tear up his face worse than her deformed cousin's. But she couldn't. All she could do was flinch as he sat at the edge of the bed, dipping the blood-stained mattress.
"'Page 347; Imprinting, Genetics, and Why.'" Leah's breath caught in her throat.
No fucking way.
"'The brilliance of imprinting is, according to tribal folklore, extremely rare. However, it's a lot more common than one thinks. It is estimated that in a pack of ten wolves, seven will imprint. However there is a miraculous exception to this rule; the exception, being a female shapeshifter.' That means you, sweetheart."
Another sob and it took almost all her conscious energy to keep the tears from falling, keep that weight that hindered her ability to breathe at bay.
"'Female shifters are very rare occurences; but as-....'" Karl suddenly stopped. "..You know what? Never mind. I'll just skip right to my favorite part." No! Leah wanted to hear it, needed to hear it-
"'Breaking an Imprint and the Pain that Comes With It; page 351.'"
No.
No fucking way.
Not possible.
Not funny.
'..........' (You know you're shocked when even your thoughts are silent.)
"A little surprised are we?" He laughed loudly, bursting Leah out of her catatonic stage. Had she heard him right...? Was he telling the truth??? "Here's the rest dear. 'Breaking an imprint is tricky business; but to the person who has the greatest reason for doing so, it is very possible. Although slightly rare as well (as estimated, only about five members of this tribe in all of history have even sought out how), it can be a rewarding experience if done for the right reasons. Ending an imprint is life-changing, and painful both physically and emotionally. Time must be spent-' yada yada yada..." Karl made clicking noises with his tongue as he skimmed, "Aha! 'But certain events have been known to shatter imprints all on their own. Even rarer an occurence then female wolves, these shifts in time and feeling are considered an act of nothing less than god and divine intervention. But most of all, it takes pure sheer love to break an imprint.'"
Leah's heart couldn't take this.. No.. Not at all...
"'It takes pure, sheer love; to even make it possible.'" Karl closed the book and looked at her, pity in those black eyes. "I guess he didn't love you as much as you thought he did, hm? As much as you wished he did."
That was it. Tears spilled forth and she screamed. The only thing that even came close to her wail of pain was Karl's laughter. When she'd quieted, when only the heaves and sobs racked her body and he could tell her lack of breath would soon put her out again, he spoke quietly.
"I was hoping that would make it easier for you to forget about him. He's definately forgotten about you, after all." He grinned. "But hey; you'll always have this." He dropped the necklace on the table a foot away from the dirty bed.
Leah turned her head back again and faded eyes, red-rimmed and one bruised, took in the sight of the jewel. How fucking pathetic. It still shone brightly against the dingy backdrop of the room even though the gold chain was torn and the heart was covered in specks of dirt and grime. It shone despite the fact that he had lied to her. Sam had given her his heart; and it was nothing but a total fucking lie.
Too bad she'd already locked her's away inside the necklace too.
As tears cascaded down her scratched cheeks and she sobbed like never before Leah remembered wishing to hell and back it had been Sam who was above her thrusting and that it would be over soon so she could go back to him. Go back and just be herself again; go back, so he could take her back.
See?.... She was so, goddamn pathetic, heartbroken, that no matter how much she knew Sam's love had been a lie she still loved him so much that it made up for it. If she were to live through this, she would go back and be whatever Sam wanted her to be.
Leah had never hated herself more than she did at that moment.
She'd never felt more disgusted, more helpless, as she felt Karl's hand creeping up her scratched up thigh.