AN: Hey guys! Here's chapter 12 :) It's a little shorter than the others but that's alright, right dudes? :P Haha. As always, thanks for all the asskicking reviews I got for the last chapterrr ;) This story might actually break 200 in this chapter or the next if you guys keep going so well :o Lol that's actually amazing to me. Anyway guys last notice for the sex survey; it's not troubling at all lol it'll take you 5 minutes; you don't necessarily have to add me on msn either, you can just drop me a line in an email and I'll reply back with the questions attached :) Hehe.

But enough of my rambling; on to chapter 12! :)

It was five AM. And as predicted by the weatherman, the clouds had lifted from the small village of La Push and allowed the community to breathe again; anything, other than that musty, frosty smell of ice and rain.

Sam was in the same place where he'd been all night. Sitting with his back against his ex-girlfriend's bed, listening to her stereo. He'd switched up CDs a few times during the long night (he'd been there since around nine PM) and finally opted for one that had no writing; no cover art. Just a plain CD in a plain case on the desk next to her closed and locked-shut laptop.

You could say he was surprised when he popped the disc in and her voice surrounded him in the lonely room, the lovely edge and melody of Leah in a way Sam had never heard before.

At first he was surprised; devastated that he hadn't known this demure, beautiful little fact about the girl he loved so much. It wasn't like it wasn't her because honestly, Sam could never lose her voice. It had appeared in his head too many times these last few months for him to ever lose track of it's vibrations, it's tone and the way syllables sounded whether Leah was screaming, cursing or whispering.

It was definitely her.

The song playing, it's singer, it was her. Sam could only guess she was the composer as well; he could tell because only Leah could be so artistically deep with her emotions compared to when face to face, shallow as a kiddie pool. It was always one extreme or another with Leah; she was never normal.

He loved it.

Something else weighed on Sam's mind, though. Not just the perfect angelic voice radiating from the speakers in the deserted room.

It was his fellow Alpha, Jacob Black.

He was hiding something; Sam knew it. Sam knew it from days before, the night Leah disappeared because as soon as she stepped into his house Jake and Leah's eyes met and then she shied away like she was embarassed; ashamed or something like it. And when they went to the Cullens' place two days before, Edward had hauled Jake off to the side for a moment in what he purposed was 'Renesmee Business' when it looked like nothing of the sort.

Sam would find out what he was hiding. But in the meantime of course, he would wait. Sam sat there in the empty room (wished like fuck she was there) and awaited dawn like a puppy watching a treat after performing some sort of sick trick.

When six AM rolled around the rest of his boys would wake up and they'd be out the door, into the rising sun. Today, and perhaps tomorrow and the next day, till whenever the storm decided to subside, were their only chances most likely at finding their missing comrade.

Leah Clearwater had been missing now for far too long. And if he let it go another few days even Sam was going to die. Literally. He'd never felt this pain before... It was like having a surgeon reach into an open wound and yank out an organ without any anesthetic. It was a slow, burning pull, a stretch that seemed to tear his sanity away from any bounds it had once known.

It was like the pain was pushing him, carrying him away from what Sam supposedly should've 'needest most' at this difficult time.

(By that of course Old Quil had meant Emily.)

Sam knew as soon as he'd thought the words 'fuck Emily' he should've felt guilty as hell. Knowing he was being an actual asshole, a horrible person of non-existant merit by thinking that about the mother of his unborn child, was actually painful in itself. Sam thought back to the dream he'd had the night Leah phased for the first time; the night she found out he'd cheated on her for days before breaking up with her, the night her father died..

The dream about the chasm forming in this very bedroom, Leah on one end and Emily on the other and everything nature had in it's power being used against him to tug him over to Emily's side.

That was what the pain felt like.

There were two different kinds, it seemed; one was an actual physical burning that gnawed away at his insides; the other was an emotional ache that pounded against his skull and heart like a demon inside wanting to escape. He thought that one was worse. (Because Sam had been in some serious pain before and the burning he felt now was nothing he couldn't handle.)

This pain, that spread from his heart and into his veins like a toxin in his dirty blood was destroying him, he felt it day after day that Leah'd been missing. And that was exactly where this pain pointed; it seemed as if in his dream, if he could experience it again, this pain would be pulling him towards his missing ex-lover instead of the girl he thought he loved now.

And that was where the physical pain chimed in again; when he thought about things like that, about how he was reconsidering how he felt about Emily the pain kicked up another notch. Sometimes it made his stomach heave; other times it felt like someone was strangling him and the hands had sharp fingernails to boot.

Everything was at war inside of him; and he still couldn't tell which side was winning. When Emily had told him about his baby, he felt so excited-

His goddamn cell was ringing and it actually made him jump a little as he leant forward to press pause on the stereo. Groaning, knowing it was her he answered.

"Hey Em."

"Sam where the hell have you been!?" (Hah; hell. Emily never could curse)

"I'm sorry babe.. I've been busy."

"Oh, you've been busy." Sarcasm was heavy, dripping from her bitter words. Then, it sort of just.. Disappeared. "Sam, I know she's still missing and I know you're worried; but baby, I've had important news to tell you for a whole day now and you've just kept ignoring me-"

"What news?" He cut her off. (He wasn't that interested; he wanted to get the hell off the phone.)

"Uh... Babe, I'm sorry." Uh oh... This couldn't be good. Sam felt a pang of worry; Sam felt the emotional pain intensify.

"Emily, what's wrong..?" He asked hesitantly.

"I took a test yesterday, Sam. It was negative. I'm not pregnant."

Emotional pain just plummeted to zero and Sam hated himself because all of a sudden he was happy he didn't have that commitment with her anymore. What the fuck.

"Oh yeah?.." He said, voice quiet in the still morning air. With the music off, and the storm outside at a halt, it was too quiet. It bothered him a bit.

"..Well, I thought you'd be a little more upset than that.." Her voice sounded hurt almost; Sam knew Emily too well from two years of loving her to not know when she was paining.

He had to cover his tracks.

"I'm sorry Em. I'm upset, I really am baby but it's so early, and I haven't slept all night. All week, I should say.." He found himself rubbing his hand down over his face and he could practically feel the crease between his eyes that had taken up permanent residence there.

"Ohh.. I guess... Are you coming home today..? I haven't seen you since early yesterday.." 'You only saw me then because Sue ran out of food.'

"I dunno hun, I don't think so. The others are gettin' up now in a minute and since the rain and snow slacked off we're going looking again. We're gonna be gone overnight probably, we're gonna keep looking till we have to come back inside."

Swear to god he heard Emily huff for the first time ever.

"Sam... Don't you think it might be pointless..?"

"Don't say that. I'm busy. I've gotta go. Bye, Emily."

He hung up on her, just like that. And had to clench his jaw as a bolt of agony shot across his chest and straight into his heart. It felt like his love for Emily, his very binding to her was fraying at the edges and unravelling, just like all their lives had been these last few months.

And now he knew he wasn't going to be a father; did he really have a reason to stick around?

The pain that time was so profound as he thought about leaving her (with those scars) that he audibly let out a groan, and pushed play on the stereo just in time to stifle it.

Pain. It was a fickle thing, wasn't it?

I could go back, to every laugh;
But I don't wanna go there anymore
And I, know all the steps, up to your door;
But I don't wanna go there anymore.

He just needed to be alone with her voice. Alone with the guitar melody that suddenly gave Harry's instrument in her room meaning. The pain he felt in his heart, the throbbing uncertainty of the path his life would take from here ached even more.

Talk to the wind, talk to the sky
Talk to the man with the reasons why..
And let me know whatcha find;..

I'll leave my window open;
'Cause I'm too tired at night to call your name.
Just know I'm right here hopin',
That you'll Come In With The Rain.

What was happening to him..? These last few months, what had changed? Why was it getting stronger?

'..Why aren't I complaining?'

I could stand up; and sing you a song.
But I don't wanna have to go that far and I;
I've got you down; I know you by heart.
And you don't even know where I start.

It was true, wasn't it?... They'd lost everything they possibly had to regain with Leah after hurting her and they were only seeing it now because she was gone.

"You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.." He whispered as the still morning sunlight, for the first time in days, poked in through the window.

Talk to yourself, talk to the tears,
Talk to the man who put you here;
And don't wait for the sky to clear.

I'll leave my window open;
'Cause I'm too tired at night to call your name.
Oh, just know I'm right here hopin'
That you'll Come In With The Rain.

With a grunt, Sam stood up. He wondered how many other of her songs, stashed away in her secret heart were about him. 'I hope all of them are.'

I've watched you so long,
Screamed your name;
I don't know what else I can say...

But I'll leave my window open;
'Cause I'm too tired at night for all of these games.
Just know I'm right here hopin';
That you'll Come In With The Rain.

I could go back; to every laugh.
But I don't wanna go there anymore..

He shut off her stereo. He turned to the bed, growled in his throat and swept the dust off the sheets.

Sam walked out of the room, banging on every door in the hall as he walked.

"Get up! It's time to go!"

He would hear her voice, so much sooner and not from a CD. She would sing for him; he was going to make sure of that.