MS: Hey y'all.. It's sad that there are only like, 3 chapters plus an epilogue left to this story huh? That's all fine and good, I do suppose; I don't know how many of you can keep handling the cliff-hangers lol. This chapter's a little solemn; little nostalgic in it's depression, almost... I think if you youtubed the song you'd catch the mood perfectly. Hopefully though, if my betas and I have done our jobs that won't be necessary; haha, enjoy guys.. The best you can in this situation.
The battle had lasted into the Twilight.
Adding to that the hours the guys needed to heal, it was early morning again by the time they could all pick themselves up off the ground with nothing but a faint wince and haul their beat-up asses back to Forks.
More scars; faint, white lines amongst copper pecs and tanned limbs. Memories of a painful ordeal and Sam prayed those would be the only reminders the pack carried with them after that day.
Leah had to be okay.
They ran once more.
Embry, Jacob, Paul, Quil, Jared, Seth and Sam plowed through snow drifts half washed away by rain; skittered over ice that cracked with every step and scaled the steepest hills this time knowing for a fact (this wasn't like the first time... The first time they ran on speculation alone.), that Leah was dangerously close to slipping away forever.
The Cullens had run ahead hours ago... Rosalie's morbid curiousity could wait no longer for their companions to recover and so they followed after Edward and Carlisle.
The pack had stayed in their positions for hours after they'd left, as their wounds healed and closed, bones regrowing slowly but surely. Sam had dropped down beside Leah's brother, and god Seth was crying so hard.
Sam didn't know he was too until Seth looked up at him.
"Don't worry Sam... She'll be okay..... Leah's always okay....."
It was around nine AM when the boys skidded to a stop out in front of the large Cullen manor; lights dimly blazing inside. They always were, weren't they..?
Sam phased half on a bolt up the steps, his previously-broken leg was still stiff and sore but god be damned was the Alpha going to let it slow him down as he shuffled through the door with the youngest member of the pack hot on his tail.
Heads looked slowly up at him; not surprised he'd shown, of course, vampiric hearing was just as good as their's...
Bella was on the couch, bottom lip pulled between her teeth (the move that always meant bad news) and her dark brown hair was frazzled despite her now ever-perfect appearance. Renesmee sat beside her mother, golden eyes were trained on the windowed walls and didn't budge toward her imprint, or his shaking friends. It chilled Jake to the core.
Esme stood by the foot of the stairs; moved moreso to the middle with Rosalie at her side and their faces were depressed, yet adamant. Emmett and Jasper were not in sight; nor were Edward or Carlisle but the thick smell of blood from upstairs that had possibly driven the weaker Cullen brothers away was the only clue Sam needed to know where Leah was.
The silence in the room was devastating.
Sam grit his teeth (he was starting to get a toothache) and began meagre steps forward, towards the stairs. Alice appeared from a room out of the hallway; a stack of clothes in her arms and she walked -not skipped, or razzed- over to them like the usual pixie-like girl did and began to hand out pairs of pants.
Sam and Seth hurriedly pulled their's on before continuing on their way toward the steps.
Rosalie placed her arm on the railing, effectively blocking their way.
"...You don't want to go up there." Her voice was soft; her voice was strong like a mother protecting a child, or a calm reprimand.
"Why...? Is she alright!" Fear spiked under Sam's skin; a foreboding feeling of dread like the same mood the storm set in him the moment it touched down in La Push and it made his flesh crawl.
"...She's... She's not yet stable..." So much fucking hesitation in their voices.. It made Seth want to jump at them, scream and cry and strangle Esme to make her words pour out faster.
"Then why can't we see her! I need to see my sister!" Seth cried out, shaking as he fought back the urge to become the beast he'd been before.
"Seeing her might be a bit much right now..." Esme continued, "Leah's... Leah's not well."
'No fucking shit. No goddamn way. She only got raped and beaten and plummeted from a two-story cliff. Well fucking done you dumb broad,' Paul seethed, his fingers clenching and unclenching.
"I don't give a shit, I need to see her!" Sam roared, his voice taking on the alpha timbre that suited him so well; ..Gave him the impression of bravery when everyone in the room knew he was speaking so loud only because his fear inside screamed so much louder.
"Please Sam... If you'd just-"
The door creaked open upstairs. Edward's voice.
"Sam.... Please, come up here. Seth you may come as well."
The duo pushed past the female vampires at the front and began to climb the spiralling staircase into the dim, dreary hallway above. They passed the stacked graduation caps; barely spared the multicolored facets a glance and kept their eyes trained on the simple path in front of them.
(Why did it feel like they were walking the plank?....)
Seth could feel his brothers, still down below, eyes burrowing into his back as they prayed for good news; prayed for relief and understanding and forgiveness from everyone around them. Seth didn't know why he now ventured so easily into their thoughts... Maybe those days in the cave around nothing but everyone's raw emotions really did let you get to know a person.
Seth just wished it could've been under better circumstances.
Soon they saw Edward waiting for them; a tall paleness against a near-black hallway as they walked further into the darkness. Light slithered out from under a shut door which he stood beside.
"She's in here..." Edward gently pushed the door open, and Leah's family stepped inside.
The fifteen year-old boy let out an immediate sob that he brought the back of his hand up to stifle; wanted to turn and run but Sam grabbed his shoulder to steady his own footing and they were rooted to the spot.
Too many machines were next to her, as she lay in bed... There was an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth and her eyes were closed. Leah's beautiful black hair was strewn about the pillow, obviously cleaner like she'd been bathed but at the same time it only made the injuries stand out more; made it so obvious how all the wrongs didn't belong. The radio was playing softly.
Two IVs were hooked into her arms; unknown fluids and medication hanging from banana bags on what looked like coat hangers. The covers of the bed were pulled over her, up to under her armpits where the barest edge of white bandaging could be seen.
Her chest moved so, so slowly up and down.... Sam feared it would stop like her father's had. (Almost helping his own heart squeeze the life out of itself.)
There are times that walk from you, like some passing afternoon.
Summer warmed the open window, of her honeymoon.
Even under the sweeping covers, Sam could tell how much she'd changed. Her wrists even seemed smaller, obvious weight loss a little much to take even if he had seen it back in the cave. The scratches on her cheek were treated.. Two or three crimson red little lines remained and her head had a bandage too, near the back only faintly visible from the small angle Leah kept herself to sleep in.
The boys could only assume about the huge ace bandage covering the bullet wound from the back.. Sam wondered if Carlisle had gotten that small metal piece of death out after all.
And she chose a yard to burn, but the ground remembers her;
Wooden spoons, her children stir her, bougainvillea blooms.
There are things that drift away; like our endless numbered days.
Autumn blew, the quilt right off the perfect bed she made.
Finally, he took a vacant step towards her.
"Lee.... Leah...." Sam murmured, his strong voice now seeming like a distant memory though he'd used it only a few seconds ago. The tall man dropped into the chair Edward left by her bedside; his hand automatically took her's. It too was bandaged tightly.
"Oh my god... Sis.." Words seemed to hard to find.
"I've been... Skimming her mind, during the brief instances of consciousness she managed to maintain. But as of right now, her body has lapsed into a coma-like state of unawarness... A speculated conclusion of the stress, injury, exhaustion and malnutrition."
Stress. Injury. Exhaustion. Malnutrition.
Evil, evil words designed to hurt his sister; used to describe her brokenness and label her problems. The four words burned Seth to the core because before, these words seemed unlikened to Leah's vocabulary.
They should never, never be needed to commentate his sister and it burned the youngest Clearwater to the core; swallowed up his spirit in a dark well of animosity and self-directed anger. A whole lotta loathing for a young boy.
"...What kind of things has she been thinking..?" Sam muttered; his exterior had once again softened to a depressing fog.
And she's chosen to believe, in the hymns her mother sings.
Sunday pulls it's children, from their piles of fallen leaves.
"..It's been like a movie reel; a slideshow of video clips..."
Sam bit his lip.
"She's been replaying a series of events, I do suppose... It's heartbreaking." Sam could probably name every single moment; could see them flying through his LeeLee's broad mind that had suddenly shrunk so much to accomodate pain and pain alone. The Alpha could list every single time; every moment where Leah's heart cracked just little more.
"What sorta stuff has she been seeing..?" Seth asked, eyes brimming with unshed tears that the word 'heartbreaking' managed to dredge up again.
'She's definitely seeing the night we broke up..'
"She re-imagines the night Sam broke up with her, often.." The oldest Cullen child looked at Sam wearily; Sam squeezed his eyes shut.
'Check.'
He thought some more.
'The first time I saw Emily... On the beach, at the fire.'
"Emily's visit."
'Check.' Sam buried his face in his hands.
There are sailing ships that pass, all our bodies in the grass.
Springtime calls her children 'till she let's them go at last.
"I've seen her contemplate leaping over the La Push cliffs... Diving headlong into the currents and never coming up again."
That one was the roughest and it tore the cries from both of the wolves' throats. The signs... How had they missed the signs!... How had they not spoken up, or noticed the silence? ...How do you miss someone you love, dying...?
Seth and Sam could not fathom the unthinkable; couldn't deal with the turning point of their own wrong actions. Not enough to think out loud that they'd taken the girl they both loved for granted for far too long.
Long enough to kill her.
Leah must have felt so trapped... Felt so alone even amongst a sea of people who actually loved her, all because they themselves were too damn stupid and fucked in the head to take notice. She would die for them; she has died for them. ...Just couldn't stay any longer.
And she's chosen where to be, those she's lost her wedding ring;
Somewhere near her misplaced jar of, bougainvillae seeds.
Sam's own mind drifted anxiously into overdrive as he imagined the love of his life standing on the rocks above the raging waters and staring down into the dark abyss; a cold, lonely mouth waiting to swallow up her tiny self and never spit her out again. And Leah would not put up a fight.
He imagined what she'd felt; how, she felt. Even now.
Perhaps something akin to the worst moment of his own life..? The times where he too, had sought a way out; a want for something better and for discontinuation. For Sam, it had been the gun his father had left behind; one of the only posessions of the memory of Joshua Uley.
For his Lee, the precious gift he'd tossed aside like jewellery to a toddler, the way out was the ocean that she loved so much.
True, that she'd never spoken to him directly of her longing for the deep blue sea but he could see it sometimes, when the sun caught her eyes just right and the wind blew her beautiful hair just so; the color of her pools seemed to match the waves she watched so intently and he could practically see her itch with the want to jump in.
Sam had just never known she'd wanted to disappear forever.
There are things we can't recall, blind as night that finds us all;
Winter tucks, her children in her, fragile china dolls.
Three years, almost; here sat Samuel Uley, nineteen years old. There, in bed, was Leah Clearwater; seventeen years young. They were 'official' when she was twelve and he was just about fourteen. They ended when she was fourteen; the year Sam phased but he was sixteen then. Leah had just turned fifteen when Sam phased... God, why did all these dates matter...? Why did Sam feel the need to clock every second and minute of their time together, the weater and the hour on the day their closeness came to an end..?
Sam Uley and Leah Clearwater were together for two years; preteen and teenage romance. They talked about marriage. And kids, and had sex, and kissed and had so much fun and they cared about eachother like you wouldn't believe.
Then it was suddenly the best (sadly) and one of the worst days of Sam's life all at once.
Introducing fifteen year-old Emily Young; fourteen-year old Leah's Makah rez cousin.
Time began to drag by after that.
Leah knew something was up, Sam knew that she knew; he cared, but not enough to stop sleeping with Emily.. Stop seeing her, kissing her... He felt complete and couldn't look away when her deep brown eyes begged his for recognition. He cheated, on the love of his life (stupid stupid stupid prick) for three weeks before he got the balls to look Leah in the eyes and tell her he didn't love her; but he did.
And that was the worst day of Sam's life.
And the worst day of her's; ...Not after this probably, but it was before.
"Edward.... Is she gonna be okay..?" Seth's voice came out a sob; his throat congealing so much emotion the boy felt like he was about to choke on it.
....How did Edward tell them..?
"..We don't know... Carlisle thinks it... Unlikely... That she'll survive past the next few days.. Luck permitting."
Seth fell to his knees and Sam hit his knee with enough force to almost reshatter the bone.
"No...."
Their thoughts chased Edward out of the room; he left them to greive.
But my hands remember her's; rolling 'round the shaded ferns.
Naked arms, her secrets still like, songs I'd never learned.
There are names across the sea, only now I do believe;
Sometimes with, the windows closed she'll sit and think of me.
Sam was crying, but, he was silent.
Seth took notice after what seemed like half an hour of beating his fists against the cold linoleum floor and looked up at his Alpha. Why did he feel like, he needed to know if Sam was okay...?
So many questions and no one knew the answers.
"Sam.... Sam you..?" Seth couldn't bring out the words; he didn't know how Sam understood but he had the feeling that he did.
"..Please.... Seth, I know I have no right; I'm more of an enemy to her then those pricks we let get away will be any day. I've hurt her more than she could take and I swear to god I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making it up to your family... Even though it will do no good. ...But please.... I need some time alone with her."
Sam's words sunk in deep; almost as deep as Edward's heartbreaking news and Seth felt like his hands and knees were frozen to the floor as he tried to pick himself up to leave Sam with his dying sister.
His dying sister.
"Please...." He begged again and Seth only now heard a tone so different from any word his alpha had ever spoken before. This was not proud Sam; king of La Push. Boyfriend extraordinaire with martha stewart as his wife and a kid on the way.
This was a man gone cold; a boy in black at a funeral with no one to say goodbye with.
But she'll mend his tattered clothes; and they'll kiss as if they know..
A baby sleeps in all our bones so, scared to be alone...!
Seth got up, wiped his nose and didn't bother with his eyes and walked out.
Sam heard the door shut, brought her broken hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. He let out a heart-wrenching sob.