MS: Hi guys.. Sorry for the late chapter, my beta ended up with a delay. Anyway, I think this chapter's really gonna pull at your heartstrings.. Maybe in a bad way, maybe in a good. It all depends on how you take it I guess. We're gettin' closer and closer to the end my friends :) The long road out of eden. Try and be a little patient with me; and I hope you like this chapter. :) Please review if yah don't mind, and try to keep up some hope.

Seth came back downstairs; dropped into a chair and within a few minutes the rest of the pack had heard the news. Sue had been called, as well as Billy and Charlie and the Forks police department. They wanted to come over; get a statement like pronto but thank fuck for Esme's restless guilt and determination because she sure told them where they could shove their notepads and pens.

They needed to be alone.
This one last time.

Besides.. What was the pack supposed to say, anyway..?

'Hey coppers, yeah so here's the deal; these guys took our friend away and raped her because they wanted her to get pregnant and have babies for them that'll turn into these big giant wolves. But anyhow we all turned into giant wolves ourselves and we went to go get her back but we got trapped in this cave in Canada for like fucking who knows how long and then once we found a way out those pricks were waiting for us so we pretty much got into an all-out war; and Leah our friend pretty much saved our asses despite being barely alive. But now we're back because our friends the vampires brought Leah home to treat her. ...Oh, and yeah the bad guys got away.'

Yeah that would fucking fly, too right?

(Well it would with Charlie; but he was one man.)

But, above all else the pack barked at anyone who spoke of the police to shut up... It wasn't really up there on their lists, yah know, with someone they loved dying upstairs...

Thoughts were in a million different places.

Embry wanted to just run up there and apologize before it was too late; kiss her cheek and sit with her for awhile. But Sam had that position occupied so he and the rest of the pack were sitting down in the living room, dangerously near to the foot of the steps and watching and waiting.

They stared at that closed door, but, they saw so much behind their eyelids that it shocked them.

He was always teased for it. The only ones who didn't tease him were Seth Clearwater, his big sister, Jacob Black and Sam Uley.

The rest of the school was wired right into the gossip and he didn't get through a day without hearing about his suspected parentage.

"Hey Call! Found daddy yet?" It was one day after school, he was barely twelve. It was this guy, Shane; grade-A asshole in every department except for schoolwork. He was in the same grade as Embry, nearly every class and a lot bigger than him.

Embry never knew what to say, so.. He just sorta walked on, tried to ignore it. One day it went too far; farther than it usually does and Shane just upped and shoved him into the lockers in the hallway. "Yah ever gonna fuckin' answer me kid or wha'? I'm tired of seeing you around the school. You know, this reservation is for families, not dirtbags who can't even afford a dad."

Embry wasn't that poor... He wasn't rich; but he wasn't poor. No one on the rez was really rich..

"I'm not poor... And it's not my fault I don't know who my dad is!" Shane wasn't gonna hear it, shoved him into the lockers again and this time he made sure he did it in front of the girl Embry liked. She laughed too as he dropped his books.

"Shane are you torturin' kids again?" It was a high voice; ultimately female and when Shane stepped aside Embry recognized her immediately. It was Seth Clearwater's older sister, she lived nearby and Sam invited her outside with them occasionally. Shane laughed in her face.

"You're a kid too you little stunned fuck!" She cocked her head to the side.

"Would a kid do this?" She hauled off and punched him in the face so quickly with her little hand that at first everyone sorta laughed; though it became apparent then that she really had taken Shane by surprise, as he moved his hand away from his nose and blood dripped to the floor.

"Embry do you wanna walk me home?" Embry was in shock, staring at this little thing in front of him who just grew the balls to belt Embry's bully in the face.

"Uh, sure..." He walked out of the school with her and he thought maybe yeah; he finally understood Sam.

Embry never spoke a word; his gaze was trained on the darkness of the long hallway and he kept it there. He started biting his lip though.

Quil sat with his back against the wall and his eyes on the floor, instead of the beckoning, looming door in front of him. He thought about Claire; surely she and her mom would've heard the news by now and they were probably sitting awake at their table, waiting for the final swan song call that would justify the end..

Quil clenched his fist. He knew she was just a child, but.. Claire gave up so easily sometimes and her mother was no different. ..He thought about the girl who doesn't, despite his best efforts, and Quil had to think back; search for something he thought would've been evil hard to find..

He found it in seconds.

He opened all his presents and he was pleased, yeah; but at the same time, just a tad bit disappointed.

Quil had his eye on this brand new Bench jacket; it was black with the orange Bench logo going up the arm and zipper, and it was ultra-thick and warm for days when he wanted to ride his dirt bike.

His mom or dad didn't get it; neither did his alpha; or Jake or Embry, his two best friends.

Quil felt sorta dumb, actually; he'd mentioned the jacket a lot of times, brought it up occasionally and he was sure one of his packmates would've caught on. Apparently he was wrong. Maybe they just didn't wanna spend the money...? The Bench jacket was a good one hundred and fiftey dollars without taxes.

He really did expect Sam or Jacob, even maybe Paul because he rode dirt bike too, to come through for him. He couldn't expect Seth to get it, the kid was like fourteen and without a job; he didn't even invite Leah because honestly; they didn't like eachother enough to want to celebrate his birthday.

At least that was what he though; until all his guests had arrived for the little supper and yet there was a knock at the door. When he opened it, there stood Leah Clearwater, arm outstretched with a gift in her hand.

"Here," she muttered, thrusting the gift into his chest before stepping backward off his step.

"Uh... Thanks Leah, you gonna come in..?"

"No, I got shit to do. Yah know, happy birthday." She shrugged then and turned around and walked away.

Quil shook his head, turned back around himself and went back to the party.

"Who was that?" Paul asked.

"Leah..." Quil looked down at the gift in his hand and unwrapped it.

It was the jacket.

XXXXX

The radio was still playing.

She couldn't leave now... No. It wasn't fair. Fuck, not a thing that had happened in her life was fair...

Sam kept her cool hand pressed against his hot cheek; waiting, praying, for a sign that somehow she would be okay.

That the heart monitor in the room that went beep occasionally (hardly heard over the wind outside and the music) would speed up; that her skin would get it's beautiful color back. Sam wished he could hear her soft, musical voice again. How he yearned to see her stormy eyes open and her gaze come upon him.

You should have seen by the look in my eyes, baby;
There was somethin' missin'.
You should have known by the tone of my voice maybe;
But yah didn't listen.
You played dead;
But you never bled;
Instead you lay still in the grass,
all coiled up and hissin'.

Sam could say it was the most he'd thought about in his entire life; the hardest times he had to recall and the harshest truths he finally had to face. He and his brothers.

Time to owe up.

If only she would-

There was the softest whimper from the bed; then two stormy blue eyes opened hazily.

Sam's heart skipped a beat; thought maybe her's did too but he didn't know for sure. He let the shallow beeping in the room disappear under the music's rhythm as his jaw grew slightly agape and he swallowed roughly; thank jesus.

"Lee..."

Tears began to fall down Sam's tanned cheeks instantly and she looked over at the sound of his beautiful voice. The warm liquid fell to her fingertips, and she flexed them; Leah mouthed his name.

He swallowed again.

"You... You can't leave."

Leah sighed.

XXXXX

Jared's foot tapped idly on the hardwood floor; the glossy shine acast from the only light in the room his target as he swirled his tongue around his dry mouth, anything to relieve the want to scream and cry and beg.

This couldn't be happening... Everything was.. It was okay before.

He fought the urge to growl as loud as his dogs as he walked the rainy sidewalk.

He loved her, god he adored Kim; but sometimes she was so goddamned ridiculous that it made him want to tear his hair out. Even when she knew the friggen truth about his destiny, about his obligatory duties to his pack and reservation as a protector, she still always found something to complain about.

This time it was the fact that he spent too much time at Emily's.

'She and Sam are getting married soon I think,' she'd said, 'they don't need you there all the time to destroy any time together they might have; and besides there's a lot of stuff around the house that needs to be fixed that I'm sure you could spend your time doing instead of playing housepet.'

Cajun, his bright red sheep dog turned and barked at Jared like he sensed his master's distress as the duo trotted down the slick La Push road.

Jared was so friggen tired of arguing with her.

Then when he heard footsteps coming up behind him he knew instantly he wasn't in the mood to deal with anything; let alone the bitchiest chick on the rez and that was exactly who came jogging by.

"...What do you look so angry about?" She asked, chest heaving as she slowed to a walk beside him, completely drenched from the rain and pulling out her iPod headphones.

"Nothing that's your concern." He snarled back at her, tightening his grip on the leash he held in his hand.

Leah rolled her eyes in that familiar way and Jared honestly expected her to call him a dick. But he was wrong, surprisingly.

"Lemme guess; Kim's riding your ass again am I right?"

Jared almost stopped and tripped over a stone. "How did you know?"

Leah shrugged, rainwater dripping from her saturated hair as it clung to her chest and back. "Everytime you and Kim get into a fight you take the dog for a walk; or kick something, one of the two."

Jared huffed; when he thought about it she was right. Since when had she found the time to examine him?

"Look I don't appreciate you butting in on me and Kim's-"

"I don't have time to sit down with you and have a sweet little heart to heart about this, so I'll just tell yah that if you need to talk you can come find me." She didn't say anything else, leant down and patted Cajun's head who barked like he was thrilled to see the girl and then she was off ahead of him again, running her body into the ground with her oh-so-impressive speed.

Jared had to admit; he was pretty surprised. Not once had she ever expressed any concern for his personal issues, or had ever mentioned him getting into it with his imprint. But apparently she knew.

Maybe Leah saw everything.

Paul was toying with similar motions as he counted the seconds that passed.

'One... Two... Three...'

'Seven thousand, nine hundred and eighty one... Seven thousand, nine hundred and eighty two...'

It was like timing his own deathbed as he listened intently to the low rhythm of the music from the other side of the door. He sat in the darker section of the hallway; even now it was hard to meet the eyes of his packmates; the eyes of his brothers, his accusors; for he had been the worst to Leah; outside of Sam.

Now that he truly had reason and time to sit back and think about her she'd never done a thing to him outside of her smartass comments and god knew that was only to protect herself. A self-imposed shield... Leah'd needed one, with the way Paul treated her... With a grunt he slammed the back of his head into the wall behind him.

Pain; how ironic was it that it could ease, but at the same time still be pain..?

Paul's teeth clenched inside his jaw; he needed to concentrate on the better times. Though they were hard to find, especially inside of his thick skull;... He needed them. He needed to know that every waking moment he'd shared with Leah hadn't been all bad and that he could say his grief for her wasn't just some stupid emotion rubbing off from the rest of the pack.

(monkey see monkey do..)

Closing his eyes as tightly as he gritted his teeth, Paul tried to relive the one moment that even held a light inside the dusty, dark box that was his brain.

Dodge left. Jump right.

Survive.

Simple rules of the game when that red-headed leech's newborn vampire army decided to make La Push and Forks a very public feeding ground. Of course, Sam dispatched the pack to help out and that meant dealing with the Cullens.

But it also meant something else; dealing with Leah.

(Paul thought he'd rather the Cullens.)

Sam and Jared tagged up as they usually did, against two pale-faced ravenous vamps that looked like twins and Embry had one of his own to deal with, as did Quil; so that left Paul having to take on the three vampires in front of him with Miss Bitch herself; Leah Clearwater.

Just the presence of the chick constantly irritated him; let alone fighting alongside her. Yeah what's it called? Back-up?

Pssh yeah she'd back up alright.. Back up and let those friggen vampires chew his furry ass to pieces.

Paul honestly didn't have a lot of time to muse over his fighting partner; it wasn't long before the two grey wolves were tackled head on and taken head over paws, face-planting into the muddy ground like ragdolls. He was on his feet in an instant, of course; but to his surprise Leah was up before him; teeth bared and snarling.

Leah was smaller than he was, actually smaller than all the guys were, even her kid brother; on top of the simple fact that she was a girl. In all complete honesty Paul didn't even like the thought of the pack relying on her as a protector. Yeah he sounded sexist; he didn't really care. But he did know one thing; if Leah got injured in that battle he didn't want the fault to come down on his head because knowing Sam he would be sure to get the full tilt of the blame.

So as Paul saw the vamps' gazes center on his smaller companion he couldn't help but feel extra protective; maybe a little less over his own ass then he would've expected. So, before they had the chance to gang up..

Paul let loose an ugly growl and leapt forward; clean over the silver wolf's head and took his stance in front of her. He hoped she'd get the message; he hoped falsely.

Leah released a growl of her own and Paul could hear her mentally preparing to chew him out.

He was so not in the mood. So instead of giving the she-bitch a chance he tackled both vampires at once; tried not to howl out his pain when their hands like razors slashed at his sides and easily tore flesh.

And when those vampires threw him to the ground, it wasn't the voice that he expected to call him off in his head.

It was Sam.

'Paul that was a wreckless and ridiculous move! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Because the pack has no room for pointless martyrs so smarten the hell up and work as a team!'

Paul had no choice but to fall back at his Alpha's harsh voice, and step away from the two vampires to stand beside his common enemy again.

Her blue eyes looked at him; accusing him.

Her eyes didn't match her mouth.

'Yah know I would've thought that was sorta sweet if you weren't such a dick the rest of the year round. ..Thanks I guess.'

Sam snarled in their minds.

'Leah don't encourage him!'

Paul anticipated the famous Leah eye-roll, which she did, but he was still somewhat taken by surprise. Those were the first kind words the girl had ever spoken to him; well, since Sam left her, anyway.

Apparently she appreciated him a bit more than she let on.

'Uh.. Thanks.'

'Don't mention it.' Paul huffed, stuttered but the woman cut him off. 'No, really; don't mention it.'

Then she was all grace and agility as she leapt back into the war.

Paul opened his eyes.

If only he'd been caring enough to return the same appreciation.

XXXXX

"I wanna know, Lee... Everything. Please baby... Tell me everything."

His broken voice didn't do well to hide his obvious agony and Leah felt her heart skip another beat at the unnameable devotion in Sam's eyes. It brought her back to better times... Times that had been cruelly ripped away from them.

But amidst the pain she still felt, and everything that had happened Leah couldn't focus on one thought for long.

Yet she knew that... Her time was close... She'd better use it wisely.

And though I know all about those men;
Still I don't remember.
Cuz it was us baby way before them;
And we're still together.

"Sam..." She winced; her first spoken word made the coppery taste of blood in her mouth so much more poignant as the rattle of her voicebox stung her sore, dry throat.

What could she possibly say...? What could she do...?

"...Why are you here..?" She murmured, hating herself instantly because a whole lotta pain flashed across his face pretty quickly and it didn't seem just; ..Even after everything he had put her through, after all the pain, the torment and the shitty recent events life threw at her.

Why couldn't she hate him? Hate them..?

"Leah how could I not be here..! Why can't you understand that I still love you..!" His voice was soft but he was doing that thing where his hand unknowingly clenched her's hard enough to hurt and Leah knew he wanted to scream.

'...Why can't you understand that I just want you to be happy..?'

"You love me..," she whispered breathily.

Leah looked away from him and swallowed roughly.

She'd always known that. Leah had always known. It was there when he watched her walk away; it was there when he had to scold her in front of the pack; and it was there when she was in her bedroom at night, alone, and he walked halfway to her door and stood before turning around and walking back downstairs.

But... There was Emily.

Emily, who was so much more beautiful despite the scars just because of who she was inside, and Emily with her fertility (well, Leah had that too apparently; but it was still sorta pointless to anyone who wasn't half man-half wolf), and Emily with her good grace and all-around attractiveness.

She was perfect for him.

And Leah was not, as fate had made so very clear. Fuck... Fate had made it clear that Leah Clearwater was no good for life. It had used everything in the book; her family, her friends, her lover... Everything to tempt her into leaving and just saying goodbye. Then it brought Karl upon her; ..brought more pain than any heart should ever have to hold onto.

"...I forgive you, Sam..."

The words took him by surprise and his eyes widened.

How?

"..What? You forgive me for what?"

"Everything." It wasn't easy; but she always knew she would. When she saw him laugh with her, smile with her cousin Leah knew she could never stand in the way of such happiness. So, she would defend herself as best she could but blame destiny and only destiny; because Emily deserved happiness too.

Sam scoffed; he looked angry as all hell.

"How? How could you ever forgive us Lee...? For everything we've put you through, for the people Emily and I poisoned against you and for just... For not loving you enough...?"

Sam would never be able to forgive himself. It wouldn't matter if she forgave him, if everyone forgave him. He would never be able to look past the terrible things he had put her through; He would never be able to shake the memory of hearing her heartbreaking sobs each night as he hid in the coverage of the emerald forest. He would never get over seeing that broken look in her eyes, the accusations and betrayal she tried so hard to hide, the ones he saw in the depths of her stormy eyes. The memory of her transition. As Leah transformed… Deteriorated, from the beautiful, perfect girl Sam had first fallen in love with to the wistful, tired, betrayed person Sam had created. He hated himself for what she had become; he knew it was his entire fault. So hearing the truth of her forgiveness in her perfect voice, Sam broke down.

Leah looked away from him; it hurt, sort of.

Did Sam really think she was so ignorant, so self-centered, that she wouldn't be willing to let him have his happiness...?

"I forgive you." She said it again.

And I meant, every word I said.
When I said that I Love You I meant,
That I'd Love You forever...;

Sam's tears fell faster.

"I wish you'd hate me," He muttered, his skin smoldering with a mix of anger and passion in so many simple words. "I wish that I could go back and change my mind because I made the wrong choice;... Made so many fuckin' wrong choices..." He clenched his teeth and bowed his head as he cried.

"I could never hate you.."

He looked up. That tone of honesty was a rarity in Leah's voice... He hadn't heard it in nearly three years.

"..Sometimes I wish you guys wouldn't... Call me names behind my back... It all gets back to me eventually." She smiled this sad smile. "Maybe a thank you, after I cook... You guys breakfast.." She coughed, "..Wouldn't be so bad..." She smiled wistfully.. A small broken smile. Her eyes told the truth of the real hurt those small things had done.

Sam's heart broke even more. Little details too. More shit he'd let his pack get away with, more harm and damage he'd partaken in that was slowly tearing his lover apart from the inside out.

'Hate me LeeLee, please... Go get my gun.'

"I'm so sorry..!" He brought a hand to his mouth to stifle an escaping sob, but despite her injuries Leah's hand was quick to catch his; held it in her's again.

"I could never... Ever hate you.." She whispered. Then her own eyes began to water and the last of Sam's resolve fell away.

He let out a cry of shame, anguish and guilt that nearly rivalled a scream and he held her hand hard, pressing it to his forehead as he wept. He'd never know how much seeing him cry hurt Leah; it hurt her like one would never believe.

"...Don't cry S'mmy..." Another cough. "I don't like it when you cry." She coughed again, strength weigning and the blackness at the edge of her vision crept closer. "..Yah know I'll always love you..."

And I'm gonna keep on lovin' you;
Cause it's the only thing I wanna do...
I don't wanna sleep; I just wanna keep on lovin' you.

XXXXX

Jacob had restlessly pulled his wallet out of his pocket, picking out card after card; anything to keep his mind off the current situation, his current thoughts... What could be more mundane than a friggen bank card?

But of course luck came sparingly to those boys and it just so happened that not even an old brown leather wallet could bring the second alpha some salvation.

In the last slip of his wallet Jake accidentally pulled out a folded, crumpled up photo.

And of course, ignoring his brain's turnbacknowdon'tunravelitstop he gently unfolded the photo as to not fray the edges and nearly smooshed it in his hand again at the sight of it.

In stunning technicolor, staring him in the face from the photograph like the ones at the Clearwaters' had been, Jake saw himself, Leah and Seth sitting on the hood of his Rabbit. He squeezed his eyes shut, clenched his hand around a memory and couldn't help but indulge himself in one.

He hated it in there.

Even when he used to love it so much.

Jake grit his teeth as he turned lugnuts and tightened this, that on his car. The poor thing was falling apart and Jacob was sorry obviously for that, but it was hard coming into his shed these days... It was painful without her there.

Too many nights that Jake couldn't help but think of, when he and Bella Swan- er, Cullen.. Fixed up dirtbikes and cleaned up grease stains and sorted through old parts and everything else the duo could find to do in his little work area.

Too many nights that would never be repeated again. Jake cursed and threw the wrench to the cement floor. The simple thoughts of him, that blood-sucker who'd stolen the girl he loved away made Jake wanna vomit; vomit and destroy. Actually, he was enjoying the temperature of his skin sky-rocketing and he urge to phase when a certain annoying voice (last one he needed to hear at that moment) cut through the heavy silence. (He didn't play music anymore.)

"Well jesus Jake, what's got your nuts up in a bunch?"

Leah stepped inside the dimly lit garage, Jake rolling his eyes to high heaven.

"I'm really not in the mood to deal with you today Leah."

"Of course you're not; you never are, since Bella-"

"Don't even talk about her!" He actually yelled, growled and roared the words at his packmate. Once the realization of what he'd done hit home, Jake shut his eyes again and groaned. Leah was a bitch that was for sure; but she didn't mean anything by it, Jake could guess. She didn't deserve to be yelled at.. He supposed.

So when he looked up to apologize he was quite surprised to see her staring back at him with a whole lot of pain in those deep blues.

"Leah, look I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell-"

"She didn't deserve you Jake."

Her words, those words especially took him off-guard and he was the one raising an eyebrow.

"Huh...?"

"I said, Bella was a dumbass okay? You're pretty right on Jake, you didn't deserve the shit she put you through and god knows her stupid ass is better suited to somebody cold and dead anyway.."

These were things Jacob knew, deep down, but hearing it come from the person he thought hated him, the person he himself thought he had no contempt for, somehow made it more believable because Leah was not the type just to inflate somebody's ego;.. Like a normal person.

She wouldn't of said it if she hadn't meant it.

"Uh... Thanks.." He looked back at his bike because it was hard to meet her eyes when deep inside he couldn't help but feel like maybe he should say something about Sam; but that would probably just make her angry and next time he was phased he did not want another ear half-ripped.

"So whatcha workin' on?"

"Stuff..." Leah didn't like cars. Did she?

He nearly jumped out of his skin when she sat down next to him on the floor and picked up the wrench he'd sent flying.

"The Rabbit?"

"Uh, yup..." He was watching her now, aware that he was bumbling like a friggen idiot but still too unsettled and rattled to care.

"I always wanted an Impala. Like the one my dad had. A sixty-seven," she said, leaning forward and beginning to screw the nuts where Jacob had left off. "A black one I think."

A Chevy Impala. Huh. They were damn nice cars. Jacob tilted his head.

"Really?"

"Really."

He hadn't missed, or thought about Bella once more that night.

Seth was an entirely different mess. He was the closest to the door; the closest to tipping over the edge of insanity and delving straight down into madness, leaving all rational thought behind and fleeing from the people he loved who were still alive because he couldn't take another loss...!

Leah's was already too evident and it was the worst pain Seth had ever felt in his life.

When he woke up in the morning, Leah wouldn't be there frying him eggs or putting his favorite cereal on the table. When he decided to have a little 'me-time' involving a bottle of vaseline she wouldn't be in the other room pounding on the wall and screeching at him. Leah would never be able to do those things again...

No more christmas presents... He always knew which ones were Leah's because when he was younger he didn't believe in santa, but in Mr. Hankey; the South Park piece of shit and his parents thought it was totally inappropriate and stupid for a kid to believe in a christmas poo.

When he'd wake up christmas morning, there would be four or five gifts (suspiciously in Leah's handwriting), labelled 'To Seth; Hiiiiiiiii-dee Hoh! Merry Christmas; from Mr. Hankey!'.

In this grim moment, of this grim day, he couldn't laugh at an obviously hilarious and foolish memory.

What Seth would miss most, though, were the rare moments...; times only kept safe in his memory because they were too precious for a picture and too painful to talk about. But at the same time, they were so meaningful and important this his heart nearly burst as he recalled one in particular.

Harry Clearwater's death had rocked the foundations of the small La Push reservation, and the shattering impact had reverberated up through Forks and back down the river towards Makah.

But of course, no one knew more pain thant Harry's immediate family...

Seth laid in bed awake for the first entire week after his father's death and his sister's phasing. This week... This one week had been hell for everyone and this was just the cherry on top of a giant fucking shitwrecked sundae.

First Sam imprinted on Emily; ensuring his sister's heartbreak. Then Seth phased for the first time and despite his father's pride at seeing his young boy grow up big and strong, never having to die if he didn't want to, Seth still wasn't sure if he was okay with the 'pack life' as Sam had called it. Then came the big confrontation that resulted in his father.. Dying.

His sister's phasing.

He heard her crying at night... He didn't know whether it was over Sam, her cousin, or over their dad but he could only guess it was anything and everything because there really wasn't much else that could happen to his little broken family... Not anymore.

Partly, Seth blamed himself. He bit his lip, lying awake in bed another night as he struggled to come to terms with the underlying causes; the underlying truths about why his family suddenly had to change so much; and face so much heartache. Not even his sister, the most important person to him in the world, would take the time to talk to him.

So you could only guess how surprised he was when two arms gently wound themselves around his waist and he felt hot tears as his sister pressed her forehead against his back.

"...Sis..?" He asked, turning halfway to cast a look at her face. She looked so haggard... So worn out and tired and just so... Heartbroken. He probably didn't look any better; he was tired too.

"Seth..." Her voice was a sobbing whisper in the darkness of his room. He hadn't even heard her step in, didn't know he wasn't alone till he felt the bed dip. "...You've grown up a lot, y'know?"

He didn't really know what to say.. Yeah sure; since phasing a few days before he'd sprouted up to six feet and two inches and put on like thirty pounds of muscle, but yet he didn't really think that was what his sister meant. It was weird in itself, how she'd mentioned it.

"Uh... Thanks Lee... I'm a big boy now.." He tried to put on that goofy smile that she usually rolled her eyes at (made her wonder if Sue had dropped him on his head one too many times because he was always happy), but her smile this time was weak and it didn't do his sister's pretty face justice. He could tell; even in the dark.

(A brother knows these things.)

"I remember back when you were like... I dunno, six or seven maybe and you used to be scared of the dark... Crawl in bed with me." Her fake giggle was a soft vibration against his back and Seth felt his heart squeeze.

He had used to do that, didn't he..?

"Only then," Leah continued, "I was still a lot bigger than you.. Now look." He could tell from her hollow voice, that that sad little smile had returned. She spoke the truth; Leah used to be able to wrap herself around him, protect him from the scary things that hid in the darkness, the bad people of the world...

Now, with their father gone and her relationship with Sam in the dumpster Seth was finally starting to realize just how much their roles had to be reversed.

"You're still bigger than me, Lee... I guess.. I guess I'm man of the house now though.." The joke intended to lighten up their depression only brought another rush of tears to the siblings' eyes and they both blinked them back in similar fashion.

"I used to sing you to sleep too.." That smile again, pressed into his back as she sobbed. Seth couldn't remember that... It seemed like something his sister would do; he knew his sister like no one else and no one gave her kind heart the credit it deserved. Jesus, why couldn't he remember her doing that...?

"Mm..." 'Go to sleep, Seth...' His mind told him, ' go to sleep because maybe tomorrow will be better... Maybe you'll wake up, from Leah singin' you to sleep and everything will have just been a bad dream.'

"...Love you, Sis..." He shut his eyes, arm lying over her's and keeping her arms locking around him.

He fell asleep pretty quickly after that... Never got to hear her say it back.

XXXXX

"I know you're tired, Lee... I know you're gonna hate me and you fucking should but I've gotta tell you again."

Sam's voice broke on the hate me.

"..I gotta tell you to move on... Because this was just another bump in the road and I know you can move on. ...This time you won't do it alone."

And I meant, every word I said;
When I said that I love you, it meant
That I'd love you forever...

Her half-lidded eyes shut at his words and when she turned her head away from him Sam felt a pain like his ribs cracked; like the very root of his being was being broken down from the inside out and soon he might fall; a pile of nothing, that was once a man.

He eyed the empty space beside her, and knew it was time to do whatever it took (well he knew it days ago; but this time he was going to act) to make her believe him and listen to him, and as gently as Sam could, he let himself settle down beside her.

And I'm gonna keep on lovin' you;
Cause it's the only thing I wanna do...
I don't wanna sleep; I just wanna keep on lovin' you..

If the dipping of the bed, or the heat of his arms hurt her as he laid one over her stomach and waist gently she didn't show it; he needed her to be strong and he would be pleased with her progress however small the achievement. He was not going to lose her. Not now.

Leah felt his body heat; the familiar sparks that seemed to eminate from their skin. It was like magnetism; at least that's what she felt it was like... She could never fully get inside Sam's head; anybody's head... But then again, it wasn't like they could get inside her's either because if they could, they would've seen this coming.

The realization seemed to make the wound in her back pulse; the pain in her chest spiked and the fever she was sure she was running caused more beads of sweat to appear on her brow.

Go figure; she was this close to ending it herself but life was never easy for Leah Clearwater; they had to make sure there was the barest bit of extra suffering and turmoil to go with it before things went out peacefully.

Sam grew steadily more concerned with her silence, and gently raked a hand through her ebony hair.

"You're gonna be okay..." He couldn't say the words with a straight face. Sam put his head to her shoulder, and cried.

Baby I'm gonna keep on lovin you;
Cause it's the only thing I wanna do..
I don't wanna sleep; I just wanna keep on lovin' you...

For the first time in a long time, Sam sounded unsure of his opinion about her.

Keep on lovin' you, baby...