Muse

by crushed2

Brittany Pierce left everything behind in Ohio in hopes of finding a new beginning in New York City, and by everything she meant her trust in people and her passion for performing. A chance encounter with a beautiful model may just change all of that.

16. Chapter 16

The car was eerily quiet during the ride to Brittany's house, the only noise the sound of Karyn White's "Superwoman" playing softly on the radio. Santana knew that wasn't by chance. Nani had chosen that song for a reason. Cutting the night short, Kevin's totally defeated attitude, Santana knew what it all meant. She just wonders if Kevin finally knows.

I'm not your superwoman

I'm not the kind of girl

That you can let down

And think that everything is okay

Boy I am only human

This girl needs more than occasional hugs as a token of love from you to me

Nani sang softly, her eyes fixed on things passing by in a rush as she looked out the side passenger mirror. Santana wanted to cry. How does this happen? It's why being with a different girl three or four times a week was so much easier. You didn't have to hold it all together for a fuckbuddy. You didn't have to put in any work other than the physical. All of a sudden her mind jumped to Wolf, to Marcel, to Nani, who wanted better. It jumped to Brittany, and to fear. Nani and Kevin had started out so strong, and then somehow it had all gone so wrong.

"Promise me," Santana leaned over and whispered in Brittany's ear before she kissed her tenderly there.

"What honey?" Brittany asked confused.

"Promise me we'll always do all that we can."

Brittany looked at her with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Just promise me we'll fight for us, always."

"Like warriors," Brittany said smiling. She linked her pinky with Santana's and kissed her softly on the lips and she understood. She understood that the woman she had come to consider a friend, the woman who helped her and Santana on the road to the beginnings of their love was nearing the end of her own road with this love of hers. She listened as the song told the story of it all falling apart...told a story of falling out of love without giving a clear reason why.

You like to think that I'm just crazy

When I say that you've changed

I'm convinced I know the problem

You don't love me the same

You're just going through the motions

And you're not being fair

I've got my pride I will not cry

Still I can't help but care

All the way home, Nani was sending a clear message. Song after song of love lost, broken hearts and dreams, until they pulled up to Brittany's building and Santana helped her out of the car. Brittany said goodnight to each of them and Santana walked over to Nani's car window and waited for her to roll it down before she spoke softly, the music masking their words from others.

"See you tomorrow, Pu."

"See you tomorrow, Simon."

"I want you to call me. No matter what don't leave until I get back."

"Don't worry, I'll come and pick you up, I know you left your bike at home."

"A cab will do. Just wait for me okay? I'll be home early."

"Okay Simon."

"You need anybody around for this or will it be okay?" Santana leaned in closer and asked. Even though the blare of the music was likely drowning out their conversation Santana had to ask. Kevin's not a violent guy but breakups can show another side of people. She'd never leave Nani to do this alone unless she wanted to.

Nani smiled, "I'll be fine."

"Call me when it's done. If I don't hear from you I'm coming home no matter how late it is. Call...don't you dare text me. May decide to come home anyway so especially if you decide to give him some farewell pussy please call. By the way, don't do that, it's a trap."

Nani laughed. "I promise you it won't be that kind of goodbye, not the least bit interested."

"Outstanding. I love you Pu."

"Love is a fickle thing, Simon."

"Never with you and I."

"Promise me Simon, no matter what, that will always be the case."

"Be happy Pu, no matter what, that's all I'll ever want for you okay?"

"Thank you Santana."

"Thank you always, Pu."

Santana walked around to the drivers side and waited for Kevin to roll down the window.

"Good luck Kevin," Santana said, reaching out her hand for Kevin to shake. If he didn't know for sure before he knew he was in trouble then.

"Goodnight Snixx."

"You treat her like a lady Kevin. I will kill for her, and that's not just an expression. I'll do my time. They have to lock me up with a bunch of women anyway so it can't be all bad. Even eliminating the ones with questionable hygiene I'll still come out on top, literally. Don't make me do it. It'll be easy time Kevin."

"We're gonna be okay, Snixx, I promise. We're going to work it out, it's just a rough patch," Kevin said hopefully.

"I hope so, if that's what you both want. You know what they say...hope for the best, prepare for the worst but either way don't do anything stupid. I added that last part."

"We'll be okay Snixx."

"Good. I may be home tonight Brittany's cat is a hating ass pussy sometimes."

Kevin chuckled, "Goodnight Snixx."

"Goodnight, Kevin."

Santana took Brittany's hand and walked with her to her apartment. When they got upstairs they settled in and were quickly greeted by Lady Tubbington.

"Hey Lady T," Santana said as the cat brushed up against her legs. "Sorry to just drop by unannounced, hope you weren't planning on entertaining tonight but something came up. Whatever happens Britts and I will keep it in the bedroom...all night long," Santana said, winking at Brittany who laughed.

"Santana, is Nani going to be okay?"

"Nani is strong, and I think Nani has finally reached her limit with trying. I wish I could be there tonight but I know she would want to be alone to do this, to cry if she wants to. She won't cry over a man in front of me, I know her. She will be fine. Kevin better be accepting. It's all good. If I feel I have to go home please don't take it personally."

"Of course not." Brittany could tell that Santana was stressed out for her cousin.

"I don't want to give you the wrong idea. Kevin has never shown any signs of being violent or hot tempered but breakups can bring out the worst in some people. I just keep my guard up is all."

"I understand Santana, and if you have to leave I'm leaving with you, just letting you know."

Santana smiled. "I'm sure it will be fine, doll. Thanks anyway."

"Of course."

"Did you have a good time? You look amazing by the way," Santana said as Brittany stepped out of her heels. "Don't take the dress off, I'd like to take it off for you," Santana smiled and Brittany laughed.

"If that's what you're into."

"I'm into anything to do with you," Santana said, pulling Brittany tightly into a hug and treating her to a searing kiss.

Like she told Kevin, she knows how to keep a woman.

As soon as Nani and Kevin made it through the door Nani took off her shoes. Without saying a word she went to the bedroom, grabbed the pair of sweats and the t shirt she had brought in case she and Santana were going down to the gym to work out, and wordlessly went into the bathroom to freshen up. She slipped out of her dress and immediately slipped into the sweats and t shirt. She slid into her slippers and then went to hang her dress up, never speaking a word to Kevin. Once she had hung her dress up she came and sat next to Kevin on the couch, who for the first time she could remember in a long time hadn't gone straight for the remote to find something sports related on the television. He just sat there, waiting for the ball to drop (pun intended).

"You wanted to talk?" Kevin asked.

"Yes," Nani answered.

"What's going on?" Kevin asked.

"We're not working out, Kevin. We haven't worked, at least not for me, in quite some time. I struggled, struggled badly, with breaking up with you because you are such a good man at the core of things. Now, after tonight, I don't know if I'm in love with you or if I'm in love with the idea of you, with the fact that you're nothing like the men I grew up around, but it all just hit me at once by the end of the night. It's not just sports and trying to fit me into a box I'm not ready to be in yet, it's you, and maybe loving you less, falling out of love, allows me to see what I couldn't see before...that you had more to do with our circumstances going wrong than just being in love with sports. You're falling out of love too, Kevin, or your back would be broken from trying to carry us just like mine is."

"Are you saying we're breaking up Nani, and are you blaming me for that?"

"Yes Kevin, I'm saying I don't want this anymore but no, I'm not blaming you, not alone anyway, but I can't take all of the blame either. I'm just giving you your share of our downfall instead of guilting myself into taking it all on myself, or even worse, guilting myself into staying like I've done for a year now. It's not all on you Kevin, but it's also not all on me. You knew I would go out with my friends when I could, but sometimes you want to go out with your man, not just to eat or on a romantic trip, but on an average weekend, and you want them to want that too, and for it not to be a chore or something on your honey-do list or something planned around which teams are playing that night. You want it to come naturally because they just want to be with you."

"You think I didn't want to be with you Nani?"

Nani sighed. "Kevin, when you're in love you don't see some things as they're developing. Sometimes you see it once it's reached a critical level. It's not that you don't like to dance, it's that it felt as if you were trying to force me to forget the things that I liked and get me to like the things that you did, and not in that "meet me half way" kind of way. I remember sitting down and having you explain football to me. You bought me a jersey and we would sit there, just you and I, my head on your chest and you holding me close. You said when you knew I understood enough to cheer at the appropriate time you were taking me to my first game. And we laughed and you teased me and finally I learned to cheer at the right time. I even cursed your team for fumbling the ball, and then you came home that weekend with tickets for just you and I, and we went to see the game. I had the best time, not because of the game, but because of how we came to be there...you sharing your world with me. When have you ever tried to step so selflessly into my world? Never, if I'm honest. I just thought we had different styles, different approaches, that it would take you a little longer to open up. Instead you tried to seal off that part of my life, and instead of just shutting down that part, neither of us could have imagined that you would be shutting off a major artery to our love."

"All of this over dancing Nani?"

"It's not dancing, damnit," Nani said angrily before taking a deep breath and settling down. She didn't a want this to be angry. She wanted it to be clear and final. "It represents anything you could have done that I liked. Instead any open space you tried to fill with something you would like for us. I shouldn't have to lose me for us to be a we."

"I'll change, I'll take you out more. I'll take in interest in what you like more."

"You think I want you to change? You're perfect just as you are, Kevin, just not perfect for me."

"It's not even a lot you're asking of me," Kevin said, as if he was finally realizing it himself.

"Yeah, it is Kevin, I realize that now, because if it wasn't you would have given it to me humbly and from your heart. It's just not who you are. I don't want to take a part of you away..."

"You are a part of me, the best part of me..."

"Yeah but I know how it feels Kevin, to try and bury a part of yourself. Even if you are successful, you'll start to resent it. It's me Kevin. I'm just not ready to be as old as I feel when I'm with you these days. I'm not there yet. I'm not ready to be there yet."

"It has to be more to it Nani."

"It is," Nani admitted. "I thought about what I saw tonight and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. What if we have those kids? What if I have a beautiful little sensitive son that would rather write poetry than play sports? Or maybe he'll want me to teach him how to play the drums. Or maybe he wants to play chess and not football. Will what happened with you and I happen with you and my sensitive boy? Will you just try and steer him towards what you love and not meet him where he's at? I won't take that chance, Kevin."

"I would love my kid no matter what."

"I know you would Kevin, I don't doubt that, but would you bond with him? That part I don't trust."

"How could you think that?"

"How could I not, when you don't even do it with your potential wife and I'm not a vulnerable child? And yeah, we love our kids even when we no longer love our spouses, but I can't imagine giving you a few kids and one out of three of them doesn't like sports. Guess who is getting the bulk of the time, the ones that do what daddy loves to do, that like to go to games and sit on the couch and yell with you. Then I'll have this other beautiful child grow up thinking he's lacking in some way. I will not have it. I will not chance it. Dating is the time to prove who you are to someone. You started off strong, but some real truths came out."

"Is that why you didn't marry me?"

"In part. After you proposed I thought that I better be clear, speak up, tell you what I need. I did and you didn't respond. It's like you either didn't hear me or you didn't care. You were clearly setting the terms of who I would be getting if I accepted any future proposals, and I just don't want that man Kevin. It just felt like you were looking for the easy way out by proposing. I started checking out and you probably sensed it. The next thing you know you're offering me a ring, as if that's all every woman wants in order to make them happy. A ring doesn't mean shit. I can buy my own jewelry, Kevin. A ring without your whole heart attached to it is meaningless. It's a nice trinket, that's all."

"Is that what you think, Nani? Is that why you really think I proposed to you? I proposed because I'm crazy about you, because I can't imagine my life without you."

"You're crazy about the idea of me. I'm hot, I cook, keep a clean house. I'm smart, love kids, everything you want in a wife. I check off all of the boxes on your personal list. The problem is me being happy isn't one of your boxes and it should be. Happy wife, happy life, that's rule number one. You forgot what the golden rule of a good relationship is...it's being an active participant in that relationship and invested in each other's happiness. Yes, I checked out, but you checked out first. Maybe not intentionally, but in the sense that you were trying to force me to become more like what you wanted me to be and less like who I am."

"I love you Nani, so fucking much. I love you just as you are, just as you've always been. I don't want this..."

"But I do Kevin, and I won't change my mind. It took me too long to make it up, and tonight I did."

"I'm not blind, Nani. Does this have anything to do with Lexi?"

"I barely even spoke to Lexi when I turned down your proposal," Nani chuckled. "I remember telling you once that if you ever proposed please don't do it at a sporting event or that jumbotron thingy because sports are your thing, not mine. I remember thinking I would hate to have to turn you down in a stadium full of people but I don't know if I'd be able to fake it if you made that moment more about what you like and not what I like. I was so happy that you just did it at an intimate dinner, that you heard me for once and didn't make a spectacle, because I knew that if I felt this way when you did it I was turning you down no matter where we were and who was there. I was already drifting away Kevin, and you were already grooming me to be your perfect sports widow wife. I'm tired, tired and frustrated, and this has nothing to do with Lexi, it has to do with us. Nobody can come between us if there aren't already cracks. We had cracks that have turned into craters now."

"How did we fall apart so fast?"

"It wasn't fast Kevin, it was painfully slow, like the air leaking out of your favorite balloon and you can't figure out where all the leaks are, one morning it's just lying there on the floor with nothing left inside. That's how it felt Kevin. How did you not notice I was barely managing to hold us together?"

"But you held it together, until now. Lately, every night you're on the phone with Lexi. You come alive when she calls. Watching you dance tonight I saw how happy you were when she was out there with you. How she came to your rescue when you and Snixx got into it and when you didn't return from the bathroom. How long you stay away with her. How she took your hand and led you to the dance floor. She wants you Nani, she doesn't even try to hide it. My question is do you want her?"

"I don't know Kevin, and the beauty is I don't have to know in order to let you go, because one thing has nothing to do with the other and you know that. We can't blame this on Lexi, but I will tell you, the attention, the gestures, the way she makes me feel, it just reminded me even more of what I missed. It reminded me of what it felt like to be alive. What happens after we end this thing, it's none of the other's concern. We set each other free, and free means we don't worry about who they end up with and if they straightened their shit out. A million times I told myself that it would be a mistake to leave you. Tonight I realized it would be a mistake to stay. If you saw all of that, saw me slipping away, saw me enjoying the attention from Lexi and you didn't step up, then deep in your heart maybe you don't want it either. Maybe you have your own regrets."

Kevin found himself getting angry. "That's bullshit Nani! I can't keep my eyes off of you, why do you think I noticed all of that shit? My heart beats faster when you walk in a room. Ask anybody, all I talk about is you, how perfect you are, the life we're going to have, the kids that I want to be just like you. I saw it Nani, but I didn't know what to do about it. I just felt like whatever I did wouldn't be enough because it was something you had to work your way though, and so sadly I did nothing believing that you would. I was a fool but I promise I can fix it Nani. We can go get help. I get it now. You were telling me it was ending and I just chose to believe that our love was too strong to fail that easily. You can't tell me you don't love me anymore Nani. I still feel it, even if it's fading. I'm ready to fight, just fight with me, okay baby?" Kevin said, daring to touch her and take her hand for the first time. It felt so cold in his.

Nani sighed. "Even if you said this a year ago it would have been too late, Kevin. It's only gotten worse. The sports thing, it's a lifestyle for you. I don't want it, and I don't want to take it away from you. Every weekend with the guys, even some weeknights, in the living room while I go to bed alone. You would be miserable without it. It's a part of you. You will find a woman who wants that life with you, but you can't find her if I stay in your way. Let's let it go Kevin, and let the hope that we will ever come together again go with it. That kind of hope will keep us stuck. If by some miracle we cross paths again I will know that I didn't live my days trying to manifest that, I went out and truly lived and if we found our way back then it was truly meant to be. I'm letting you go so I can live, and so that I can not be selfish and let you live too. I make you comfortable, Kevin, go find the woman that truly makes you happy. You're 30 years old. We're far too young to settle. I love you Kevin, and I wish you the best, but I refuse to settle."

"Tonight, when I didn't go back on the dance floor, it's because you looked so much happier with her..."

"You're looking for something, someone to blame. Look to us Kevin. I'll be honest with you, you know Lexi. Lexi loves women. I would never drop someone just to risk it all that she will be able to settle down. I'm doing this for me. Being attracted to a woman and being in a relationship with one, changing the whole way you see yourself and who you thought you were, no way I do this for anyone but me. My identity my entire life has been as a straight woman, even when I explored my curiosity one time it didn't change the fact that I was a straight woman. I'm not going to sit here and discuss something with you that no longer has anything to do with you. Who I choose and who I choose to be has nothing to do with you now, Kevin. This is my journey and I haven't invited Lexi on it with me yet, and I'm telling you that you can't go any further on it with me as well. It's mine, and if it leads me to a woman, or another man, or somehow full circle back to you, I'm just surrendering to it. I'm drawing inspiration from my little cousin and I'm trusting that inner voice thing she's always talking about. I finally understand it now. I ignored it, and all it caused was pain and wasted time. Well, not wasted time, because I learned so much from being with you. I learned so much about myself, and so I thank you for that. We just need to talk about how to do this. I'll look for somewhere to stay..." Nani said, letting go of his hand. It felt even colder without her holding it. Painfully cold. Hypothermic.

"Nani..."

"We can't be roommates Kevin."

"Nani..." Kevin sighed, fighting back tears. "I blew it. Fuck. I sat back and let it all slip away. I listened when the guys would say 'just come with us, Nani won't mind'. My inner voice was saying stay home with you. Go to New York with you. I never listened to mine, and now yours is telling you to leave me."

"I'm sorry Kevin. I was going to wait, wait until after the new year, but there would never be a perfect time. If you don't want your family to know just tell them I wanted to spend the holidays with my family and you wanted to spend it with yours, and so we decided to spend them apart. If you don't want people to know yet they don't need to know. Give yourself some time to heal, then tell them."

"Can we please just sleep on it, talk about it in the morning?"

"You're just in disbelief and maybe even panic mode. The morning won't change a thing Kevin. We will talk though, because the living situation, the sleeping situation, I'll handle it as fast as I can but I haven't had time to make a solution. For now we can just coexist."

"And where do I sleep tonight, Nani?" Kevin sighed.

"My room, I'll sleep in Santana's."

"Okay," Kevin sighed.

"Okay," Nani said. Nani stood and so did Kevin.

"Can I hug you?"

"Of course."

Nani embraced the man.

"I'm sorry" he said softly, not wanting to let her go.

"Me too, papa bear," Nani said, calling him by her pet name for him one last time, even if she doesn't know what made her do that. They both realized in that moment she hadn't called him that in so long.

"I never, ever wanted to let you think I didn't care. I loved you more every day."

"I believe you Kevin, but you also took me for granted," Nani said, breaking the hug. "Goodnight Kevin," Nani said, turning and walking into Santana's room, locking the door behind her for some reason. She just wanted a boundary, something that says that he just can't walk in on her anymore. She doesn't belong to him anymore. He has to knock and ask permission just like anyone else.

Nani sat on the bed and sighed. She sent Santana a text. If Santana and Brittany were enjoying one another she didn't want to interrupt. She knows Santana would check her phone whenever she got a chance. She would call her back when she could.

-Hey Simon. It's done. I'm okay. Call me as soon as you read this. I know you said call, but Brittany and I get along well and maybe not so much if I interrupt an orgasm. TTYS-

Nani lay on Santana's bed, the picture Brittany painted staring down at her.

"Ugh, it has to be narcissism," Nani said out loud to herself and chuckled. "Great fucking painting though," she said, before admonishing herself for laying in bed talking to herself. She turned on the tv because she couldn't sleep, and before she knew it she got a text message.

Let me know if you're okay, star. Nani instantly smiled and sat up, taking a selfie in bed.

Do I look okay? Nani smiled, sending the text.

You look more beautiful than ever. This should not be how I see you in bed for the first time.

Nani chuckled. It's done.

Really, are you okay?

Yeah, he's in my room, I'm in Santana's for the night.

Guess that means that Santana is in Brittany.

You mean Brittany's

Nope, said that right the first time.

LOL

I love your laugh

But you can't hear me.

Yeah, I can. I hear it all of the time.

You're sweet

You have no idea, star. Hey, you need me you call me, okay?

I will

You can stay here if you're uncomfortable. I will come and get you

That's so nice of you but I'm okay.

The offer stands, call me anytime star

He asked me if I was into you. Said that you were into me

Wasn't trying to hide it but I guess he's not as stupid as he looks

Be nice

Only nice to people who don't hurt my Nani, but can't say that I'm mad he fucked up. Now you're available for me to show you how it's done.

But you've never even been in love.

All that means is that I still have all of my love left to give to you

Ugh, you say the most perfect things.

Just getting started, star

I better get some sleep if I can. Gotta deal with what going back to Philadelphia looks like now.

I'm here for you any way that I can be.

I know.

Goodnight star

Goodnight Sexy Lexi

Nani pulled the covers up close and tried to close her eyes and find some sleep. She lay there listening to the tv, not wanting to hear the man moving about in the other room. She just didn't want to think about him. She lay watching tv, still fully dressed in her potential gym clothes, just in case she acted on how stir crazy she was feeling. Maybe she would go to the gym, or for a drive, or where she really wanted to go...Lexi's place. Maybe she would go all the way back to Philly, get her shit, and finally come back to New York for good. She lay there for about 10 minutes when her phone rang.

"Got your message, Pu, you're very bad with instructions. I told you to call me, not text."

"Yeah, and it took you a real long time to get that text. Maybe you and Brittany were a little busy?"

"Maybe we were worried about you. When I say call, call me woman!"

Nani chuckled, "You got it mom. Anyway. It went okay. Now I just have a lot of decisions to make. I think I'm moving out as soon as I get home, Simon, even if I have to go to a hotel for a month or so until I find something. Even if I have to commute from here two hours each way a day. I have to be at work at 7:30 in the morning, if I leave at 5am I'll probably be home by 6 or 6:30 every night. I'll be tired but lots of people bought those houses grandma used to look at in the Poconos and they commute to New York for work daily and it's about the same drive time. I don't know Simon, I just know I'm not going to live in awkward discomfort there with the man I just broke up with. I wanted to wait until I had things in order but I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I had to cut him loose."

"I don't blame you Pu. He didn't get angry or anything?"

"Nope, haven't heard a peep from him since I locked myself in your room..."

"Why are you locked in the room, are you afraid?"

"No, it's just a message that he can't walk in on me anymore, he wants to speak to me he needs to knock like anyone else."

"I'm coming home, Pu."

"No you're not."

"I'm coming home so we can talk, Pu. I know you wouldn't mind the company right? And I'll just worry about you all night long..."

"So you're just gonna do a hit and run on poor Brittany."

"I put her ass to sleep, Nani. I'm feeling very energetic tonight..."

"Ewwww, come on Simon nobody wants to hear that"

"You brought it up. Anyway, a quick cab ride and I'll be there in 30 minutes."

"No..."

"See you soon, Pu."

"Simon...," Nani said, but the line had gone dead.

Nani sighed. She would be lying if she said she wasn't happy about Santana coming home. She wouldn't mind the company. She'd be up all night anyway.

Santana gently rolled out of bed and hopped in the shower. She dressed and then went to wake Brittany.

"Hey doll," Santana said next to Brittany's ear, kissing her on the forehead.

"Hey honey, what's going on?"

"I think I should go home to Pu. I want you to stay here, Pu is sleeping in my room and Kevin is in hers and I don't want us worried about sleeping arrangements. She said everything is calm but I think she can use someone to talk to. I need to be there for her. She's always there for me."

"Of course, Santana."

"I hate to leave you, especially after how amazing you just made me feel. Just want you to know there are very few things in this world that could make me leave your bed voluntarily," Santana smiled.

"I know honey, no apologies or explanations needed. Just please call me when you get home."

"Go back to sleep, I'll call for a taxi..."

"Not good enough. You call me the moment you're home and with Nani. I want to hear both of your voices before I go back to sleep."

"Okay doll, I promise."

Brittany and Santana chatted until her taxi arrived. Then Santana went downstairs and made her way back home to Nani. Once there she unlocked her door and was glad to see that everything seemed okay. She knocked on her bedroom door and heard Nani moving to get up and answer it.

"Who is it?"

"It's me."

Nani opened the door. "Hey Simon, couldn't stay away huh?

"Nope, not tonight, how are you doing?"

"You should have stayed with your woman."

"Get over it. I came to check on you. Why are you fully dressed? Did something happen?"

"No, wasn't sure if I'd be going down to the gym or anywhere really to try and stop my mind from racing all over the place."

"Well I'm here now, and as soon as I call Brittany to let her know that we're okay we can talk. She said she wants to hear both of our voices before she can go back to sleep."

Nani smiled. "Go ahead, call her. I've disturbed her night enough. The very least I can do is let her go back to sleep."

"She shouldn't have any trouble doing that," Santana smiled.

"Ugh, you're disgusting."

Santana laughed and called Brittany. She put the phone on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Hey doll, Pu and I are here and getting ready for bed. Miss you already."

"Sorry for disturbing your night, Brittany," Nani said.

"Nothing to apologize for Nani. Anything you need please let me know. I hope you're okay."

"Better now. Thanks for loaning her to me, I promise to return her to you tomorrow. I hope to see you before I leave."

"Whatever you want, Nani. For now, I'll leave you two to catch up uninterrupted. Goodnight Nani."

"Goodnight mi amor," Santana said.

"Goodnight honey."

"I'll call you in the morning."

"Don't worry about me Santana. Call whenever you have the time. Glad you made it home safely."

"Te amo, Brittany."

"Love you too honey."

Santana hung up the phone.

"Awwwwwww," Nani squealed.

"Oh will you shut the fuck up," Santana said and Nani laughed.

"I'm glad you're here Simon." Nani sighed.

"Me too, and I'm glad this happened here and not in Philly. Your real support system is here. Kevin can suck it."

"No need to be angry at him. Feelings change Simon."

"So he admitted that his feelings changed?"

"Nope, says he loves me more than ever. He just needs time and he will realize the truth. Even if he loves me like crazy he loves me for what I bring into his life, but not enough to bring what I need into mine."

"Yeah. Pu, you did the right thing. Our daddy issues were rearing their ugly heads and when I got rid of mine I found love. The same will happen for you now that you've gotten rid of Kevin. I hope you see what was really happening here."

"What do you mean, Simon?"

Santana sighed. "Kevin looked like the perfect guy, and you saw him that way, mainly because he was the one thing that your dad wasn't. He was faithful. That meant so much to you that you couldn't see what he was lacking. But that would never be enough for a man to love a woman, they expect a woman to be faithful, and it shouldn't be enough to call him perfect. It's expected out of both people in a relationship, and it can't be the only thing of value that you're bringing to the table. Love is the foundation, and that love if it's strong enough the fidelity comes naturally, but I couldn't imagine being with a woman that I didn't want to see smile every day. Shit I gave my jump offs more energy and attention than that big oaf put out for you tonight. Nobody has time for that shit."

"You're right, Simon. The things we don't see when we want something so badly." Nani shook her head in disbelief. "I want kids, happy well adjusted kids. I can't have them with just anybody, though. I need someone in my life that's as dedicated to raising a family as I am."

"And you'll find them Pu, but not until you clear out the clutter in your mind. You have to deal with your issues surrounding Marcel. Trust me Pu, it opens up the world for you."

"Yeah," Nani sighed.

"You two are not okay, and just like you talked to Kevin about it I need you to talk to Marcel. It'll haunt you. It'll haunt every one of your relationships if you don't deal with it Pu. Nobody knows that better than me."

"I'll figure it out, but first I have to figure out where I'm going to live."

"Why should you leave? He has family in Philly."

"No, I'd rather go. I want a fresh start."

"Fuck that, if he was a real man and he knew you wanted out he would volunteer to stay with family for a while until you get your shit together. He's going to try and use your rock and a hard place to weasel his way back into your life. Nope. I'll help you find something, a short term rental, an extended stay hotel, an air b and b...something. We will figure it out and you don't need to drive 2 hours each way a day. You don't need to do that, Pu."

"It wouldn't be that bad if I had to do it for a while."

"Pu, aside from the fact that you would get less sleep it's winter in New York, which means it may be 75 degrees one day and blizzards all next week. No, I'll take a couple of days off and come back to Philly with you. That way you don't have to ride back with Kevin alone. I'll stay with you until Tuesday or Wednesday and maybe we can move you into a hotel by then for a week or so until you find something."

"Santana it's not that serious. I will be fine. I don't want to live with him but it's not like I'm in danger. He will probably want to talk more on the way home. I know I won't change my mind, but he needs closure. I'll stay there a few days, look into some short term rentals, and call you when I need help moving my stuff out. I always had my doubts about moving in with him and this is why, getting out can be a bitch, but you live and you learn."

"It made sense Pu, you two were together all of the time. You both saved money. That money will come in handy now."

"Well I won't worry about it tonight. My credit is good and so is my rental history. I'll find something suitable. I just don't want to be around the awkwardness of living with an ex for months. We both need to move on without one foot stuck in our pasts."

"I've got you, Pu, whatever you need. Money, time, just know that I've got you."

"I know Simon."

"I know you like to deal with things on your own Pu, we all do sometimes, but you've been going through a lot for a long time and keeping it mainly to yourself. You have that right, but I'm never too busy to listen when you need an ear, never."

"I know Simon, and I appreciate you."

"Kevin told me you turned down his proposal. After tonight I can see why."

"Yeah, that was part of the reason why. That, and something else just felt so wrong about it. Then tonight it hit me, all of a sudden I felt like having kids with him would be a mistake, and not having kids is sort of a deal breaker for me. I don't know if he would find the time and energy for a child that didn't share his interests."

"I can see why you might feel that way."

"He proposed and I felt nothing. I knew I didn't want to settle down with him, and since that moment I think I knew it was the beginning of the end."

"So why did you stay?"

"I had to be sure, had to know I wasn't acting on impulse, had to figure my shit out."

"I get it. I feel like I wasn't there for you, Pu. We talked all of the time and I knew how you felt about the sports and some other things but I never imagined that you were unhappy enough to turn down a marriage proposal."

"I wasn't sure about anything Santana. One day we were okay and the next day not so much. You knew that, you even said it to me."

"Yeah, but I was being my charming self. I wouldn't have been such an asshole about it if I knew how serious it was. I didn't know how much you were hurting."

"We've always said what we felt to each other. I never want that to stop. It's okay Santana, I know your heart."

"Kevin says you talk to Lexi a lot, is that because I'm not there for you, Pu?"

"No Simon, that's not it at all. It's just that we started talking a lot when we were plotting on getting you and Brittany together. She was a nice distraction from my own bullshit. You and Brittany were as well. I'm happy to have been able to help you two along. Lexi was too."

"Yeah, I know, and we appreciate you both." Santana paused. "Kevin maybe had a problem with Lexi flirting with you."

"Kevin is just looking for someone to blame for us falling apart when all he has to do is look in the mirror. Lexi has been flirting with me since the day she met me, whether he was there or not, and I have always been flirty back."

Santana laughed, "You two do seem to be turning it up a notch lately."

"You think so?"

"Hey, maybe it worked even if it didn't change things in the end."

"What worked?"

"Pissing Kevin off, or at least getting under his skin a little."

Nani laughed, "It didn't work that well."

"It could only work if you really wanted to save things, Pu. Seems like you were done for a while."

"I never asked Lexi to conspire with me to make Kevin jealous."

"Oh please, you're Lexi's boo. If she sees you turning it up in front of Kevin she's gonna do the same thing and maybe even raise the stakes a little. If you don't give a shit don't expect Lexi to. It's not her style to worry about some dude that can't keep his woman's attention on him," Santana laughed. "She probably would enjoy knowing she got under his skin for the way that he neglected you tonight. Shit, she was perfect for the job, because if some dude did that a fight would have broken out."

"It sure would have."

"He should have stepped up and claimed his woman, he had every chance."

"I'm glad that he didn't." Nani said, but not for the reasons that Santana thought.

"Me too. If it's not what you want it's not what you want." Santana said and Nani shook her head in agreement. "Why don't you change and get comfortable Pu. We'll watch something funny on tv until we fall asleep."

"Sounds good Simon. Thanks again for coming home. Sorry I threatened to beat you with a turkey." Nani smiled.

"Sorry I planned on shoving that same turkey up your ass if you tried." Santana replied, and both women laughed.

"Love you Simon"

"Love you Pu" Santana said, pulling the woman into a long, comforting hug.

The women stayed up only for a short while. Nani fell asleep and Santana heard Kevin moving about the apartment and so she pulled on her robe and went to investigate what the man was up to. She also wanted to see how he was handling things. When Santana entered the living room he was sitting on the couch watching tv and sipping a drink.

"Hey Kevin," Santana said sitting across from the man in a chair.

"Hey Snixx," Kevin said softly.

"Drowning your sorrows in booze?"

"Maybe a little"

"It doesn't help, I would know."

Kevin sighed, "You tried to warn me Snixx."

"Maybe I was too late. Wish I would have seen things more clearly sooner."

"She never talked to you about any of it?"

"I knew she was tired of being a sports widow, of playing hostess to you guys and waiting for whatever scraps of your attention was left over after you were done."

"My gut told me I was fucking up Snixx but a part of me didn't care. She made me happy, and as long as she looked happy on the outside I didn't care. I allowed myself to believe that everything was alright. Then after she started coming to New York to hang out with you and Brittany she seemed a little happier after a while. She got to see you and help you. She got to go out and hear you sing. She and Lexi started talking more and more. She stopped complaining."

"Just you saying she was complaining indicates a problem. It wasn't complaining Kevin, she was voicing her feelings. When you look at your woman as complaining you see her as a burden. When she's voicing her concerns and you listen and respond you see her as a treasure."

Kevin thought about what Santana said and sighed. "I should have talked to you a long time ago, Snixx."

"You should have talked to Nani a long time ago."

Kevin sighed again. "You gonna make me drink alone, Snixx?"

"Somebody has to look out for your sloppy ass. I had quite a few at the club."

"Too bad you don't have Lexi to look out for you anymore."

"Listen Kevin, I'm not gonna let you sit here and blame Lexi. You can't talk shit about Lexi or Nani to me. I'll sit here with you while you cry into your drink about your failures, but what you won't do is place the blame on anyone outside of your relationship, and guess what? You won't blame Nani either. I know how much she tried. No matter what she didn't tell me she told me enough to let me know she was trying and you were failing. You want to know something else? I told her to leave your ass if you don't fix it. I'll tell you that to your face because you don't deserve her if her happiness isn't a priority for you. I wanted you to make it, I gave you some damn good advice to save it, and then I saw your bullshit tonight, and after that I wish you luck Kevin, but also, fuck you, because my cousin is the best and deserved more. Nani is not a lesbian, but your lack of interest in continuing to court her is probably making her more lesbian by the moment. And Lexi is not a predator, women fuck her because women love to fuck her and do you know why? It's because she knows how to treat women very well unlike your lazy, sorry ass. Stop the bullshit Kevin, or take your drunk ass to bed."

Kevin felt himself go through a range of emotions quickly. Sadness, anger, regret. He decided to go with anger.

"You backed her leaving me?" he asked annoyed.

"Fucking A I did, Kevin."

"I treated her like a queen. I never stepped out on her!"

"Oh wake the fuck up Kevin. Queens don't stay trapped in the kitchen making snacks for a bunch of dudes more interested in watching men run up and down the screen than watching a perfect ass walk through the room. So you never stepped out on her, and you want extra points for that? People who love each other don't do that shit. That's a given. Being a faithful man makes you some sort of mythical creature in your head? Jeeez, no wonder I fuck women. You think that the only thing that women want is to not to be cheated on? You men are so damn easy on yourselves, giving the bare minimum and think you're doing something special by not being a dog. Well she didn't cheat on you either Kevin, and she never would, but you found out the hard way that she would dump your sorry ass. You don't want her Kevin. A man that wants a woman, is passionate about a woman, doesn't act the way you acted tonight. Your ego is hurt, because you never thought she would leave your ass. Well she did, and I'm glad she's tired of fighting for you, because after what I saw you're not fucking worth the trouble. Now if you want to talk, to really talk about this shit, I'm willing, because if I can make you understand Nani won't have to. If not, goodnight Kevin."

Santana stood up and was ready to walk out when Kevin spoke up again.

"Wait Snixx, I'm sorry. Shit, I'm all fucked up here. I had all of these plans with this woman, life plans, holiday plans and I don't even know if she's even going to decide to go home with me today. I don't know if she does will she just grab some things and head for a hotel. We didn't talk about anything other than it's over and there's nothing left that I can do about it. I'm crushed man. I'm pissed the fuck off. I'm confused, and I feel like a sucker..."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Santana asked.

"Everybody around me knows I love that woman, and yet everybody encouraged me to just do me, Nani won't mind. Nani is cool with it. Nani is the best. I had her out here entertaining these guys when they didn't ask their women to do that, if they even have a woman. Telling me shit like 'man your girl is the best my girl would never do this'..."

"And your stupid ass ego ate that shit up didn't it Kevin? And then you got entitled, and now you're single. Guess you're gonna have to order hoagies and chips from now on."

Kevin sighed. "Snixx, I get it now. You think Nani will believe me?"

"Don't want to give you false hope Kevin, for the most part I still like you, but I don't think it will help. Still, it won't hurt to let her know, even if it's to give her the gift that she did mean something to you, because after tonight I'm sure she doesn't really know. Man, you were an asshole, even if you weren't trying to be."

"I danced with her, what else did you want?"

"Even if you weren't dancing you should have catered to her hand and foot, made her feel amazing, just given her your undivided attention. For one night Kevin, that's all. That's all she wanted was one night where she didn't have to compete with your boys and sports, and what did you do? You turned on the game in the fucking club. Who does that? Hell, at least watch her move, other dudes were watching but your head was too far up your ass to see it. She looked beautiful out there, and you know she can dance. At least let her see that you appreciate that." Kevin sighed deeply and Santana continued. "Kev, I know you loved her, I think you still do, but you need someone who is more compatible with you. Nani is doing you both a favor. I think one day you'll see that."

"Is that why she lights up when Lexi talks to her? Don't tell me you didn't see her take Nani's hand and lead her to the dance floor."

"Yeah, I saw it Kevin. That's Lex. She just wanted to make her feel like a woman, make her feel less alone in the moment, make her feel beautiful. She wasn't making a run at your girl, it's just what Lex is good at. She's good at making women feel appreciated, because she understands when she sees someone isn't getting what they need. She also left with phone numbers tonight, danced with other girls, and if she was after Nani she wouldn't have done that. You know that she and Nani have always flirted, always appreciated each other, but now all of a sudden it bothers you because you fucked up and she left you tonight?"

"No, it bothers me because they talk all of the time, and I can tell Nani looks forward to it..."

"So why didn't you pay her attention then? Yeah Kev, she probably did look forward to having someone who wanted to speak to her, who wanted to give their attention to her rather than having to fight for it. Just leave Lexi out of it okay? Focus on wrapping this thing up. And for the record Kevin, Nani is not interested in living with you. As a parting gift maybe you can stay with your brother or one of the single guys for a week or so and give her some time. That would be a loving gesture right now. Who knows, it may even help her see you as a caring guy again, but even if it doesn't, she has given you plenty. Do me a favor and give her something back, okay? She may still insist on leaving, but give her an option okay?"

Kevin sighed," Okay Snixx."

"You okay big guy?"

"Yeah, Snixx, thanks for the chat."

"Okay, well get some rest okay? Don't drink up all of the booze in the house or I'm gonna run a tab."

"You got it Snixx" Kevin said as Santana stood.

"Wanna hug it out?"

Kevin laughed, "yeah, I can use a good hug."

"Great. Ten second rule. Bro hug for 10 seconds and then get the hell off of me. Ready?"

"Ready Snixx."

Santana hugged the man and he sighed. She felt a little bad for him. Still, it was Nani, and she didn't like what she had seen that night, so yeah he was on her shit list right now. She needed a moment to digest what her cousin had been dealing with.

"Okay buddy, go sleep it off."

"Love you Snixx."

"Ditto, big guy."

Santana went back to bed, locking her door and hoping that Kevin would call it a night as well. She lay down but she couldn't sleep. She wishes she could call Brittany, she hated leaving her after they had made love the way that they had, appreciating one another, silently wishing that what happened to Nani and Kevin never happens to them. Finally, she drifted off to sleep beside her cousin, just as they had done so many times as children.

The next morning Nani was up early watching the news quietly when Santana woke up.

"Hey kiddo," Nani smiled. "You still sleep like a log after you drink"

"It wasn't the drinks, it was the sex," Santana snarked.

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"Anyway, how are you feeling Pu?"

"Better than ever."

"Glad to hear it. Hey, can we talk a bit?"

"Of course," Nani said.

"You and Lex, is the flirting real now Nani?"

"Has Kevin been ranting to you again?"

"Yes, but it's not about that Nani. I have eyes. I mean, it's your business what you do..."

"We're not doing anything, Santana."

"I know you're not, you're not a cheater, Pu."

"And I'm not gay."

"Neither was Brittany," Santana smiled.

All of a sudden tears sprung to Nani's eyes.

"Pu..." Santana said concerned.

"I'm sorry Santana, I..."

Santana hugged the woman. "Sorry for what Pu?"

"I know how close you two are. This is wrong."

"Why is it wrong Pu? You're attracted to her, you always have been I know that. She's always been attracted to you, too. If you want to have some fun with Sexy Lexi and forget about Kevin by all means..."

Nani started sobbing. Santana just held her tight for a few moments. Finally it hit her all at once.

"Oh shit, Pu." Nani just kept sobbing. "You have feelings for her. Real feelings." Santana said in awe.

Nani just kept crying and Santana let her get it out. So much was starting to make sense now.

"It's okay Pu." Santana said, stroking her back.

"I can't..."

"Pu, is this who you were talking about, your dilemma?"

Nani couldn't even say the words, all she could do is shake her head against Santana's shoulder.

"So I'm the other woman?" Santana asked incredulously.

Nani shook her head again and Santana laughed.

"Pu, I'm never sleeping with Lexi again. Even if Brittany and I by some miracle didn't make it I think Lexi and I both have learned that our friendship is precious to us. We can't expect every woman to be as good as Brittany is about it. What shocks me is that you think that I would be a problem for you. After all of the conversations that you had with Brittany telling her that Lexi and I had no real romantic feelings for each other you don't even believe that yourself it seems. Well let me tell you then. we don't. Lexi and I love each other like I love all of the idiots who work at the club with me. She's my friend, Pu, I promise."

Nani sighed. "It's not just that, Simon. Lexi is used to having her choice of women."

Santana sighed as well. "Yeah Pu, she is."

"She says she wants to try for more with me."

"She said that to you?" Santana asked, surprised.

Nani chuckled, "Don't look so shocked, we've been flirting since the day we met."

"The Lexi I know doesn't flirt that way. If she said it she meant it Pu, especially with you."

"What's so special about me?" Nani sighed.

"Pu, you're everything someone could want in a woman, don't let that idiot in the other room discourage you or have you start hooking up with unattainable girls just to get through it. Not that I'm saying that is what this is because I'm not judging, but if that is what it is just think twice first, because that's not who you are."

"That's not what it is, Santana."

"Good. The reason I said that is because she has always respected you, and also because she has always respected me. She doesn't set out to lie and hurt women, and she would be especially careful with you. She would be careful because she values you and she values my friendship, I know that for a fact."

"Why would she all of a sudden be willing to try something she's never tried before?" Nani asked.

"Kevin said you two talk a lot. What's a lot?"

"Every day."

"Well damn."

"Shut up Simon."

Santana laughed. "I'm guessing you talked about life, your lives, shared deep thoughts and secrets and shit."

"Yeah, some."

"I'm guessing it's more than just some. Lexi doesn't talk to women on a daily basis, she doesn't want to give them the wrong idea. She and I have talked about things like that. With girls that she's just fucking she keeps it real simple."

"But she talked to you. You two had an intimate relationship. It was more than just sex."

"Yeah Pu, it was. She really is one of my very best friends, but if we were ever going to try love don't you think we would have done that by now? We're friends Pu, friends who had great sexual chemistry, but never anything more than that, and she for certain never talked to me every day."

"This is crazy Santana. I can't..."

"I know Pu, it's weird as fuck, but it's something we can all get over if it's worth it to try. It may not be easy, but I love Lex, and I love you, and I love gay you, so this would be worth it."

Nani laughed.

"Nani and Lexi," Santana shook her head in disbelief, a slight smile on her face. "Escandalo!"

"Shut the hell up," Nani said, shaking her head.

"It's like one of abuela's novelas, except nobody is in a coma."

"Ugh, I will never hear the end of this if I date her."

"You won't hear the end of this now. You've already said too much." Santana laughed, shaking her head. "I should have known that something was up with you with the way you were checking out Shuri when we went to see Black Panther 2"

"She was pinging my gaydar, serving big dildo energy..."

"She really was," Santana laughed. "Pu! You have to let me tell abuela. You know she's a messy old lady who loves drama."

"I'm telling her you said that," Nani laughed.

"You better not!" Santana said seriously. "Ugh, come on Pu, you have to at least let me tell Brittany."

"Of course you can tell Brittany, Little Sugar."

Santana laughed, "I'm still not as bad as Sugar but come on Nani, this is some good stuff here. I'm so excited."

Nani sighed. "Don't be so excited. Do I take a chance on a woman who has as many women as Lexi does? I'm a lover not a fighter, Simon."

"You said you two talk, and I know that you already knew some of Lexi's story and I'm going to leave her to share the rest of it with you herself, it's only fair. I'm not a therapist but I think Lexi and all of these women have less to do about sex and more to do about her family. It's her story to tell, but I don't think she wanted to commit to anyone because people leave, they hurt you, they even throw you away. Can't do that if you don't claim anybody. But you Nani, she's been flirting with you for years, and you never had a wild streak, always was focused on finding the right person to settle down with. You fought for your relationship with Kevin. It makes sense that she would fall for someone like you. She told me that she and I were yin and yin. You're her yang, Pu. You're the opposite of she and I in all of the best ways."

Nani shook her head in understanding. "But she loves you too Santana. What if what she's looking at in me is the parts of us that are so similar? You have Brittany now, what if she's looking to replace you?"

"Come on Nani. Give yourself some credit. Yeah, we are a hell of a lot alike, but we are so different too. She may like that there are parts of you that remind her of the parts of me that she does love, but that doesn't mean she's looking for another version of me. We gravitate towards the things in life we feel comfortable with. It's that saying about people all ending up dating their parents. It doesn't mean we want to be with our parents. If she likes you she likes you, Pu. She always has and never kept it a secret. What we had was just sex, and a really good friendship. If Lex wants to give something new a try and you want to try that with her I support you, Pu. I'm kinda ecstatic about it."

Nani laughed.

"Wait, is this why you kept asking if I'd always love you?"

"Maybe," Nani answered embarrassed.

"It's easier to stop loving you for threatening to beat me with a turkey in front of my entire family and the woman that I love than it is to stop loving you for wanting to bang a former fuckbuddy."

Nani laughed.

"And shit, Lexi asked me last night about dating someone close to me. She was talking about you," Santana smiled widely, shaking her head.

"Who did you think she was talking about?"

"Tiffany"

"Tiffany is hot"

"You really are a closet gay, aren't you?" Santana laughed.

"I know hot when I see it."

Santana laughed. "Pu, just get things settled with Kevin and then ask her out on a date."

"She already asked me to come stay with her next weekend."

"Damn Lexi," Santana smiled.

"Not for sex," Nani rolled her eyes, "just to hangout and get away from Philly."

"If you say so," Santana smiled.

"I don't know if I'll ever be okay with dating her."

"Is it because of me?"

"That's probably the biggest thing in my way."

"I'm sorry Pu. Damn, I wish I could take it all back. If you don't give it a try I'm always gonna feel like I stole something from you."

"It's not your fault you met her first. I mean, that's not the only reason. Seeing her dance with that girl last night, seeing the girl give her phone number to Lexi and kiss her on the cheek, Lexi may not be ready for what she thinks she's ready for. She may not understand who I am."

"Dancing with that girl was a defense mechanism. You have to see that. She likes you, and you're there dancing all close with Kevin. She didn't know what to do with those feelings and so she resorted back to what she knows, how to be a player. You have to know that, Pu."

Nani was silent for a moment.

"I heard you having sex with the person I want to be with," Nani sighed. "The woman I want to lay with has laid countless nights naked in the arms of my cousin. How do I get over that?"

"You barely heard anything, just enough to figure out what was going on. No wonder you were always a big baby about it you should have told me that I was with your woman. Pu, just think of me as one of the many girls Lexi has been with. It means no more than that to either of us. I am just another body. You don't have to get over it today. If you just give it time, if you just embrace that she and I are really over and that I'm totally into this hot ass blonde babe who is crazy about me it will go away with time I think. You helped Brittany. Talk to her, I bet she can give you some perspective on this. She would love that. She would love the chance to give you what you gave her, some peace and acceptance."

"Maybe I will, once I wrap my mind around all of this."

"So you gonna go next weekend to Lexi's?"

"There's a decent chance that I will, depending on how my living situation works out."

"Listen Pu," Santana said, getting quiet.

"What?" Nani asked.

"Ssshhhhh, listen. Do you hear that?"

"What?" Nani asked, listening closely for any abnormal sounds and getting concerned.

"I hear something purring loudly, and it ain't Lady Tubbington. It must be your pussy. You better go and let Lexi quiet that down for you," Santana said, bursting into laughter.

"I fucking hate you."

"I love you Pu, and you two have my blessing under one condition and this is non negotiable."

"What's that?"

"You can't tell Lexi that you have my blessing. I owe her for that shit she pulled that night I was trying to hump her leg."

"No Santana..."

"It's non negotiable, Pu. Don't worry, I won't make her squirm too much."

"Ugh, the things I do in the pursuit of love." Nani shook her head.

"I love you Pu. We'll talk more soon. Meanwhile, just think about what I said."

"Ok Simon, and thank you for everything. I love you too."

"I know Pu, and nothing will ever make me doubt that."

Kevin was up early, silently packing. Santana sent a text to Brittany and told her that she should come over if she liked. About 90 minutes later Brittany was on the door just as Nani and Santana were finishing up cooking breakfast.

"Hey doll," Santana greeted Brittany.

"Hey honey, how's Nani"

"She's great, in the kitchen finishing up breakfast. Come eat with us. I may be riding out to Philly soon, if you can make it you're more than welcome."

"Thanks"

"Sorry again about last night."

"Don't be, I got what I wanted from you before you left."

Santana laughed, "I kinda like this side of you."

"And I like the side of you I saw last night."

"More to come, doll. Always more to come." Santana said, kissing her hand and leading her to the kitchen.

"Hey Nani, how are you honey?" Brittany asked, going to hug Nani.

"I'm fine," Nani said smiling.

"Hey, cut that honey shit out," Santana said pouting and Brittany and Nani laughed.

"So Nani, how would you like it if Brittany and I drove you back to Philly?"

"There's no need for that."

"I could borrow mom's car."

"Nope, I'm fine Santana. We'll be out of your hair soon. I'm going to invite Kevin to breakfast now. We are adults. There's no need to make this contentious."

"Okay Pu, but we will see each other on my next day off."

"Sounds good, Santana."

The four ate breakfast and soon Nani and Kevin were heading back to Philadelphia. Santana gave Kevin a genuine hug and wished him luck. She was sad to see Nani leave, but happy to have Brittany spend the day with her. Santana spent much of the day immersed in music. She doesn't know why, but lately she has been inspired to create. She didn't even rush and tell Brittany about Nani and Lexi, she just wanted to sit and work up the nerve to play in front of an audience. She was happy to have Brittany nearby to tell her if her playing sucked, as she had been considering trying something new during one of her sets. She thinks it's time. Since Nani will likely not turn down Lexi's invitation the following week she's hoping for Saturday night. Saturday nights are the busiest, but you know what they say...go big or go home.

Brittany felt good seeing Santana this way. She had never seen it before. Santana just comfortable with her there, not feeling the need to stop whatever she's doing and focus on Brittany. Whenever Brittany would walk by Santana took the time to look up and smile, or wink, or motion to her with her head for her to come and sit next to her while she tinkered at the piano. At one point she took Brittany's hand and guided her long, slender fingers across the keys, teaching her a few simple notes and then going to the other end of the piano and playing along to them. How they complimented one another, like the music from the keys of a piano, Brittany has never been so happy, and all of a sudden she understood Nani even more. Nani had made up her mind and wanted to move on now, no delays. Brittany feels the same. As she concentrated hard not to mess up on the piano she finally spoke.

"I don't want to wait, Santana. When can you come to Ohio with me?"

"As soon as you want, honey. As long as I'm not scheduled to record and the label isn't ready for me yet, let's get it done," she said, smiling softly at Brittany.

"When is the soonest you can take some time off?"

"Any time after I perform on Saturday. I'm inviting everybody out to see me, My mom and Aunt Gladys, anyone from the Angels who wants to come out, even my abuela."

"Really? You got something special planned?"

"Something special or a disaster. If I crash and burn at least I'll have my support system in the room."

"I haven't seen you fail yet out there," Brittany said smiling.

"You've only seen me doing what I've been doing since I performed in talent shows in junior high school. Yeah, I've evolved some I hope, gotten better at it, more comfortable with it, but that was me being a performer. All of a sudden the artist in me wants to get out. All of the things I've written down, poems that are more like lyrics to a song. and now I'm hearing all of this music in my head to go along with it and I can't shut it up. I've got to finish it, record it even if it's just a video on my phone only for me to enjoy. I need to get it out."

Brittany smiled proudly at Santana. "So you're performing original music?"

"Oh no, nothing is ready yet, I just realized this because last night, this morning, it made me want to write. I saw pain last night, felt fear, saw confusion and hope and desire and doubt. The most human emotions. I realize that everyone I know and love exists in the pages of that book right there, their journeys. My journey with them, my feelings for them. You're in there, you're my favorite lyric of all, and even Wolf is in there."

Brittany smiled softly, "You going to show me?" Brittany asked.

"Nope. You just have to wait and one day I'll sing your song to you."

Brittany leaned over and kissed Santana on the lips. Santana felt the need to deepen it.

"I love you Brittany."

"Love you too, Santana." Brittany looked deeply at Santana. "Are you okay honey?"

"Yes I am doll."

"Are you going to invite Wolf on Saturday?"

"Not sure, but probably not."

"You seem a little melancholy, are you worried about Nani?"

"Yes, and no."

"Broken hearts usually heal with time."

"Depends on how they were broken. In Pu's case, I think she did her healing before she even left him. She has been preparing herself for this outcome for a year now. Something finally inspired her to go ahead and get it over with."

"I'm glad for her, if it needed to be done."

"It needed to be done. You saw that last night."

"I did."

"Did you also see how Lexi was with her?"

"You said they always flirted with one another."

"They did, but it was different last night. I saw it. Kevin sees it. Maybe you didn't because you don't know how they are together normally, but it was new. Kevin complained about them talking every day but I was glad that Lexi was there to make her feel beautiful. I'm glad that she has been there for her. I've been so busy lately, and honestly she needs more than me sometimes. I hope Lexi can be that for her."

"Whatever makes Nani happy."

"Pu has been off lately. Troubled, and by more than her relationship, worried about what other people think, worried about if my feelings for her would ever change."

"Why would she worry about that?"

"Because she's falling for Lexi."

Brittany looked at Santana in shock. "Holy shit," Brittany breathed out quietly.

Santana laughed, "Oh so this gets you to cuss?"

"And good sex, especially oral."

"Duly noted," Santana shook her head laughing.

"How do you feel about Nani and Lexi?" Brittany asked hesitantly.

"I feel horrible about it," Santana sighed and Brittany went quiet. "I feel horrible about it because people have to ask. It feels like everyone repeats what Lexi and I have always said about our relationship but nobody really believes us. We were never in love. We never wanted to be together. We should have always just been friends. I wish that we were. Then I would never have had to ask you to accept our friendship and Pu would not be hesitant to let Lexi in. She feels strange about the thought of being with Lexi in any way after the nights Lexi and I had together."

"I can understand that."

"Would you feel comfortable talking to her? You had to come to accept some things about Lexi and I, maybe you can help her accept some as well."

"If she wants to talk I would be happy to talk to her."

"Brittany, you believe us right? It was just casual."

"Yes Santana, I do. I mean it's hard for people to believe because we see the world through our own lenses, and many people can't imagine having casual sex with the same person over and over and it not meaning more to one of those people. That doesn't mean that it's not possible. I think that maybe that's why so many people get into horrible relationships, because they try to make something mean more when it really doesn't so that it can fit into a narrative. It took me time, and it will take Nani time, to get over you two being together."

"I hope she does, because from what she said to me Lexi is not just looking for sex. Those two have always been attracted to each other, nobody ever believed that all of that flirting wasn't based in some truth, but now they are getting to know each other, and they like what they are finding in one another. It would make me so happy for the both of them to find happiness, and if they find it together that would be so amazing."

Brittany smiled, "You really do love them both very much."

"I do, and not in a way that either you or Pu ever have to worry about."

"I get it now Santana, really."

"Good, because I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you, and it's the best feeling ever. So take me home with you Brittany, and I'll be whatever you need me to be, and then come back here and make this your home for real, right here where I'm at."

"That sounds perfect Santana. How about the following weekend after your big performance."

"I think that will work."

"If we can do a three day weekend, we can leave Thursday right after work. Even if you have to perform I'll take the first shift driving, and we can make it there early on Friday. I'll show you around, take you home, get my things and pack them up for good, and leave Ohio in my rear view mirror."

"Sounds good Britt. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure honey."

"Why now?"

Brittany sighed. "This Thanksgiving she asked if I was coming home as usual and I said no as I usually do. Then I got caught up in all of the good feelings about being with your family, and so Thanksgiving day all I did was text her and my step father a happy thanksgiving. They text me back and that was the end of my thinking about them until this morning, when I picked up the phone to ask them how it went. Big mistake. All she did was complain, complain about me being away and never speaking to them, complain about me not calling on Thanksgiving, complain about me breaking up with Jake and now he's with Marley who she bets wouldn't do what I did and take her clothes off for him and so he will probably marry her."

"I'm sorry Britt."

"Don't be, because I got something wonderful out of it. I found out that I just don't care what she thinks. It didn't bother me one bit, it only confirmed for me that this is home now, and that I'm ready to pack up every bit of my things from my past. I used to say I didn't want my trophies, my ribbons, my costumes and certificates. I didn't want dance, because it reminds me of her and of what my dancing meant to her. But I realize I want it all, every tape, every ribbon, because it's mine. It was always mine, and if she wants dance then she needs to get out there and learn how to do it. I'm done with her, and I'm sorry that my stepfather is sick but because of her I'm done with him too, and I'm done with Ohio. She can't abuse me when I'm gone, and though I know she will try and find a way to do so, it won't matter, because I have a home here. I have you, and all that you've given me that comes along with you, and I want every painting, every trace of me, gone from her wicked life."

"Britt, let's do it this weekend. I haven't even begun practicing with the house band and the backup vocalists at the club and it's a lot to do in one week, I can do it the following week."

"No, there's something in you that you want to let out creatively and I'm eager to hear it. The following weekend will be fine, but I want it done before Christmas. I want it done before a new year starts, I want to be free to figure out my next move."

"Okay doll, if that's what you want. Whatever you want I've got you."

"Thank you."

"You are always welcome."

Santana played around on the piano and her guitar for most of the day, only stopping to enjoy the lunch that Brittany prepared for them, and maybe for a little lady loving. Then it was even more intense, the music that is, as Santana wrote furiously in her notebook, inspired. She had never felt more inspired in her life.

Brittany made them dinner and then spent the night, leaving for work the next morning on the back of Santana's borrowed bike. Santana had apologized profusely, but she knew that she wouldn't see much of Brittany that week. She wanted to schedule as much practice time for her set as she could. She had run it past Sugar that she would be doing something different. She usually ran things past Sugar, just to protect herself. Holly was rarely there, always off on some exotic vacation with Sugar's father, but she usually liked to know about any changes taking place, and although one set would likely not even be a blip on Holly's radar, this set felt big to Santana, and so she mentioned it just in case.

By Monday Santana had made all of her calls, inviting her family and Lexi and Big Momma and Cougar. She even invited Sunshine and Lance, asking them to come but if possible to leave her old bike at home so that no one would see it. She explained why, and they were glad to come out and support. She didn't invite Wolf, afraid that if he didn't show it would affect her more than if he did, and so she left him off her list. The week had seemed to fly by, and by the time Saturday night had come she hadn't seen Brittany in almost a week, and she was more nervous than she could ever remember being because this night of all nights Cal decided to show up with people from the label, some who she knew and some she didn't, but none of which she wanted to experiment in front of.

Dave made sure that Brittany had her usual seat, and that instead of the other performers joining her she would have the two tables in front for her invited guests. Santana had made sure that no one else was around when she practiced with the house band and the background vocalists. She told them she was inviting her entire family, and they knew this meant something to her so everyone complied without any pushback. Honestly, they were just as excited as everyone else to see what she had planned.

When Santana finally decided to peak out at the crowd she knew that Brittany would be there early, always ready to support her. She had missed her that week. She hopes it was all worth it. She would be going on last tonight, she requested the slot and was easily granted it. It wouldn't be the first time she would be closing things out. It would be the first time she didn't have everything timed down to the second, though. She hopes that nobody would notice, or care.

"Hey doll, you look amazing tonight. Thanks for showing up early and sitting right where I can see you. I need the distraction."

"You're nervous?"

"I wasn't until Cal and company showed up. What the hell are they doing here? What sorts of executives have this kind of time to keep popping into a rinky dink club a few times a month. I hope my check clears," Santana said sarcastically.

Brittany laughed. "Who knows? Maybe just checking up on their investment. Either way no reason to be nervous honey."

"What if they don't like what they hear?"

"You're an artist, not just a performer, remember? You're not one dimensional. You know how we artists are. We do the work that makes us happy and we hope people like it. We hope they get it, and if they don't it just wasn't for them. They've seen you numerous times, they can check you out online, if they get to see something new either they like it or they don't, but that doesn't mean they forget what you are capable of. Just sing like you sing when nobody is in the room. Perform like you do when no one is watching, and your entire family will be here to celebrate that with you and to lift you up. I'll be here, and your friends are here. Just enjoy it Santana. Have fun."

"You're the best, baby, I mean that."

"You look sexy tonight. You and these magic pants you slide yourself into. I'm surprised you changed so early tonight."

"Just wanted to be ready, just fix my hair a bit when I go on, have some time to meditate."

"Okay, you do that."

Just as Santana said that Lexi and Nani walked in. It brought a huge smile to Santana's face.

"Pu, Lexi! You guys are early."

"Thought we'd catch the entire show tonight.," Nani said, hugging Santana and then Brittany.

"Thanks for making the trip," Santana said and smiled at Nani who played it off as if Santana didn't know that this trip was more than just about her singing. "Hey Lex, thanks for coming out. Did you run in to Nani outside?"

"Hey Santana," Lexi said, hugging the woman and then Brittany. "No, we linked up and drove here together. We'll probably hang out later."

"Great, I'll see you at the house later Nani," Santana said and Nani rolled her eyes.

"Maybe, maybe not. I might get lucky."

"Well good luck with that," Santana said, laughing. "Well, I'm going to get ready. I'll check back later to make sure everyone is okay. Nani, can you do me a favor? If anyone from the Angels shows up just get them comfortable at that table right there."

"Don't worry, I've got it," Nani said, looking at the table with the 'reserved' sign on it.

"Great, the family will fill in these seats soon, and if too many people show up we'll kick Dave out of that table right there. He's expecting it if needed."

"Okay, we've got it out here. Go, get ready, break a leg or whatever they say on nights like this."

"You got it cousin," Santana said, heading backstage once again.

It felt like everyone began arriving quickly. Liv and Greg showed up after having picked up Beatriz and then shortly after Gladys and Nick arrived. Big Momma arrived with Cougar and then Lance arrived with Sunshine. After about 30 minutes Santana came out and greeted everyone, and Sugar, knowing that this night was special, sent over appetizers and a couple of pitchers of beer on the house. As the sets started ending, first Quinn, then Kurt, and by the time Rachel finally took the stage Santana dared to look into the crowd again. The house was packed. She noticed a few more of her sisters from the Angels were there sprinkled throughout the crowd. Everyone she invited had shown up and then some. She was thankful for the support, and then she saw him, trying to remain unnoticed way in the back of the crowd. Wolf had made an appearance.

Santana didn't want to admit it but she felt something soft in her heart when she saw him. She hadn't intended to but she made her way through the crowd, greeting people and thanking them for showing up, until she reached the side of her father.

"Hola Wolf."

"Hola Snixx. Do you want me to leave, mija?"

Santana just smiled at him calling her 'mija'. "Naw, not tonight Wolf. It's okay. Don't want you sitting way back here though. Go sit with Cougar and Big Momma..."

"A couple of the guys from my club are showing up too if that's okay? Heard it was a big night, and just in case you kicked my sorry ass out I wanted someone here to cheer loudly for you in my place," Wolf said.

"It's okay, I'll have Dave make room for them if needed. Go up there with the rest of my people."

"Thanks for letting me stay, I know you didn't invite me for a reason but I had to try and see this."

"Glad you came Wolf. Enjoy the show." Then Santana did something that surprised them both, she kissed the man on the cheek and she took his hand, something she hadn't done since she was a small child. She led him to the table where the Angels were seated and then just as quickly she let it go, disappearing backstage without another word.

Wolf just fell into his seat, unable to speak, the softness of her hand still a memory in his. For once he finally felt like he had done the right thing with her. He loved this feeling. He'd give anything to feel it again.

Rachel finished up her set and Sugar sent over a couple of more pitchers of beer and another tray of appetizers. Everyone was excited. It was time.

Santana came to the stage and sat her guitar on the stand. Then she took a seat at the piano and adjusted the mic. She played a soft melody on the keys in order to quiet the crowd before she started. Usually the music starts and she sings and everything just explodes right out of the gate. Tonight would be different.

"Hey everybody," Santana said, tinkering at the keys gently. "Thanks for coming out tonight, I really hope you've enjoyed the show so far. There were some awesome sets out here tonight, and I hope I can continue to keep you all entertained. I'm doing something a little different tonight, something I've never done before, and so I hope you enjoy it."

Someone in the crowd started clapping and then everyone else joined in. Santana smiled.

"Thank you guys. A couple of years ago I started playing the piano and the guitar. As life decided to show up and put me through hell I immersed myself in it. Before I knew it I had gotten kind of decent at it. Not decent enough to share with anyone, but maybe tonight will be a little better I hope. Lately I've been writing more than ever because I've been feeling more than ever, and all of a sudden I could hear the music that went with so many of those words playing in my head, and while I'm not ready to sing anything original for you tonight, I'm not that brave yet, I'm ready to share another part of me. I played this song a lot when my grandmother died, and since she can't be here tonight in body, I want to sing this and bring her here with me in spirit, like I know she always is."

Santana began to play the piano and began to sing "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan. Those closest to her were shocked, never having heard her play more than a few notes on the piano. Her voice sounded strong and ethereal, and when Santana dared to look at her family she saw tears in all of the women's eyes. She smiled softly at them as she made her way through the song, and when she finished she stood up from the piano as the applause rained down and sat on a small stool, adjusting her mic.

"Well I made it through that one," she said, with a slight laugh and a mischievous smile. "Won't make it through too many more of those though if my family keeps crying like that. These two tables here, these are my family and friends, with a few members of my bike club here as well as my father's bike club. Love them and appreciate them for coming out here tonight. This set is going to be a lot slower than the sets that you're used to me doing, but I hope that you'll enjoy yourself so much that you won't even notice that. The next song that I want to do for you comes with a story as well. Get used to it, they all come with stories tonight," Santana said and everyone laughed. "It's one night, and you've had three great sets before me, so hopefully you'll feel like you got your money's worth anyway." Santana picked up the guitar and got comfortable.

"When I started playing guitar I watched some of the greats, but one of my favorite performances was a George Harrison tribute when he was being inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame. Prince was being inducted the same year. There was a stage full of legends playing "While my guitar gently weeps". At the end of the song Prince comes out and he plays this solo, this amazing, powerful, sexy solo, and I have to admit it was the most heterosexual three minutes of my life." The crowd laughed and it made Santana feel even more comfortable. "And that's what music does right? That's what it's supposed to do, it's supposed to make you feel things you've never felt before. You know, Prince, he was self taught, played at least 27 instruments, sung every vocal and played every instrument on his first album, the man was a genius. You need to go and watch that performance if you've never seen it because it was magical and don't you dare think I'm going to attempt to play anything near that solo. That performance, though, taught me to stick with learning, because if I do maybe some day I can play something that moves someone the way that moved me. That's the thing about music. When we sing a song, we don't need to sound just like the original artist, but we want to bring their rendition to mind and honor it, because it's their art we're drawing inspiration from. And as I looked for a version of the song that I could play but that really inspired me as well, ironically I found one by Carlos Santana featuring and Yo-Yo Ma. Now my grandmother came up with the name Santana for me. She's a very religious woman and so she claims it's related to Saint Anne, the virgin Mary's mother, and I fell for it before I realized she may or may not have had a crush on Carlos Santana." The crowd laughed and Beatriz shook her head. "She would play "Oye Como Va" and I would dance with my papi in her living room as she took videos on an old camcorder. So this is for mi abuela, right here, and my papi, the man I've called Wolf for most of my life. The man that taught me how to ride a hog."

Santana heard people howling like wolves in the crowd and she knew that had to be Wolf's brothers from his club. She looked and saw tears in her grandmother's eyes, and more importantly, she noticed some in Wolf's as well.

Santana launched into the song, and Brittany thought it may have been the sexiest thing she's ever seen in her life, this woman of hers having a therapy session in front of a room full of people, all of the nerves she felt before just slipping away. Santana taking total control of her crowd, and they genuinely seemed to love every minute of it. When Santana got to the guitar solo she nailed it, and she felt one with the music. She was having the time of her life. Once Santana finished the song the applause felt tremendous, and she could feel that the crowd was receptive to it all. It's not just the people she invited but everybody, including all of her friends, who had made their way to a table at the beginning of her set and were mesmerized, listening to Santana tell her story with music.

"Thank you guys. Really. You know, it was hard for me at first, to play, especially a solo, and sing at the same time. I'm a singer, and I was trying to learn how to play music as well, but I would do one or the other, and didn't know how to join the two together because I would concentrate so hard on playing each note correctly. Then I realized that I was overthinking it, I just needed to be the music. I needed to soak my body in it and let it cover me like warm honey. It was about letting go. I've learned about letting go from a lot of people in this room, but none more than one special woman, my lady Brittany."

Brittany looked at Santana shocked. Santana just smiled at her as she sat her guitar back on the stand and made her way back to the piano.

"So many people in this room taught me about love, from my family, my big cousin and partner in crime Nani, to my friends, to the friends I share this stage with multiple times a week, to the woman who pours your drinks here every night, but only one person taught me how to fall into it. Brittany, this one's for you baby. It was playing the piano and just talking about what brings you joy that first inspired me to do a set like this. You're my muse, baby."

Santana played the opening notes to "I believe in you and me" by Whitney Houston. Brittany smiled softly at the woman. Santana sang along to the music and Brittany didn't even realize that she was crying. As Santana made her way through the song she felt so much love and joy in her heart, and by the end of it she wishes she could just rush off stage and hold the blonde, but instead she sent a wink and a smile her way, and everything in the world felt okay.

The room erupted in applause and Santana felt so emotional.

"Thank you. Thank you all so much. Well, I'm heading into my last song..." Santana heard someone in the crowd shout out "No" and she smiled as the rumbling spread through the small club. "What, you people aren't tired of hearing me talk yet?" Santana laughed as someone yelled "No" from the back of the club and the crowd began cheering. "You know, I've got all of my teachers in this room tonight and not enough time to sing to each and every one of them like I would love to do. So I chose this last song, "Love," by Musiq Soulchild, because it's not your stereotypical love song. Legend has it that the song was originally written as a religious song, a song of gratitude and reflection and prayer, but that the label balked, and so the artist changed one word to make everyone happy. He changed the word "Lord" to "Love", because God is love, and he would explain that the song was an ode to all types of love. The music video shows a musician who loves to play his instrument, it shows a mother and a child, it shows loving someone you lost in death and it shows the beginning and end stages of romantic love, just love in various forms, and so I thought with the people that I have here tonight it would be a perfect way to end this thing. For my mom, who gave me life, who gave me music, who gave me all of the love that she had in her every day of her life. For my aunt Gladys, who gave me comfort and humor and my best friend for life my cousin Nani, for my father who gave me the storms, and the way to find peace within them by riding. For Lexi, who was such a perfect friend that we managed to find our true friendship even through the fog that can obstruct your vision in life, to my sisters in the Tainted Angels, the best damn riding club in this beautiful country, to Wolf's brothers here tonight, who are supporting us in reclaiming our relationship, to mi abuelita and my grandma Wright, who will always be my heroes, to my brothers and protectors in one way or another, Lance and Dave, and to my true, very talented friends in this bar tonight, Kurt, Sam, Mercedes, Quinn, Rachel, Finn and Sugar, love you guys. Here's to love, in all of it's forms."

Santana strummed the guitar and launched into the song and she felt good, no she felt great, about how the night had gone. She dared to finally look at Cal and the people from the label and they looked completely engaged. Santana was emotional as she ended her set, thanking the crowd and standing to walk off. As she left she heard them cheering her name, and at first she thought it was just her people, her family, the Angels and Wolf's pack, but it wasn't. It got louder and louder and someone began yelling for an encore and it was a full minute later when Sugar came backstage.

"Santana, that was amazing. You have to go back out there. Don't pass this up, not tonight. If they want an encore give them something."

"I haven't practiced anything else with the band."

"Give them something you've done before then, something they already know."

Santana walked back on the stage and the place erupted once again.

"Thank you guys, really. I have nothing else prepared for you so I'm going to have to go with a classic and hope that our vocalists know it."

Santana sat back at the piano and played the opening notes to "Tender Love" by the Force MD's.

"That song I was playing gently on the piano for my girl when a set like this first came to mind was an oldie but goodie, 'Tender Love'. I can get away with just a piano here but hopefully the band and vocalists are familiar enough with it to join in if they wish. Nobody sings about love in a way that moves me these days. Nobody writes about the love that I used to dream of when going to sleep, but that love still exists, and songs like this reminded me in my darkest hours to never stop hoping for it and to trust that it would find me." Santana spoke those words and looked at Nani and Lexi, and she knows that Nani got the message.

Santana began singing and of course the band and the vocalists knew it. It required so little of them even if they didn't and when Santana finished the song something amazing happened.

The crowd got up on their feet.

Santana stood there and took it in, and even the executives were standing.

"Thank you, thank you for allowing me to do this tonight, I appreciate you all. Goodnight everyone." Santana said and rushed off the stage before she fell apart.

Instantly the table with the entertainers went to rush backstage, Mercedes stopping to grab Brittany by the hand. When they got backstage Santana was sitting in one of the dressing rooms just trying to decompress. It felt like they all were attacking her with praise at once, when Mercedes pushed Brittany through the crowd.

"Let her through," Mercedes said, and when Santana looked up and saw her favorite pair of blue eyes she instantly stood and pulled Brittany into a tight hug.

"You did it Santana, you were beyond amazing. I don't think anyone wanted you to stop."

"They didn't," Sam said and Mercedes nudged him, giving everyone a look that told them to give Santana a moment. Once they parted everyone instantly began talking at once.

"Santana, when did you learn to play like that?" Finn asked.

"Oh my goodness Santana, I don't even know you anymore. Where is all of this coming from?" Mercedes asked.

The praise kept raining in and Sugar decided that she would invite the rest of Santana's family backstage but she was stopped before she could extend the invitation.

"Hi, I was hoping you could do me a small favor," Cal said. "Is there somewhere private I could talk to Santana?"

"Oh yes, sure there is, come right this way."

"My team would like to be there as well."

"Of course, I'll go grab Santana and set up a room for you all and you can just come on back, I'll be right here waiting to show you inside."

"Thank you," Cal said, and went to get his party. Sugar rushed back to where everyone was still congratulating Santana.

"Everybody get out of here now, except maybe Brittany that's up to Santana. Cal wants to speak to Santana alone right now. He's going to get the rest of his team. Everybody out. Santana, come with me, use the large room, it's more professional and has more seating."

Everyone started scrambling and Santana held Brittany's hand tight.

"Santana honey, I think it would be more professional if you do this alone, I'll be waiting right outside with your family..."

"Britt..."

"I have to insist, honey. No time to argue. You've come this far, whatever it is, it's going to be amazing I can feel it."

Brittany kissed her quickly on the lips and rushed off so that she had no time to protest. She went into the room and sat in a small chair nearest to the door, as if she wanted to have an escape plan in case things got ugly. She does not consciously know why she did that. It was only a moment later when Sugar led the team into the room. Santana instantly sprung to her feet.

"Hi Santana, please have a seat." Santana sat down and then Cal continued, making the introductions to the people that Santana didn't already know and reacquainting her with the ones that she had already met. Santana felt so small in this room with these five men who either were going to tell her she sucked or were going to offer her yet another opportunity.

"Santana, I think we've made a mistake." Cal started and Santana felt the air leave her lungs. She blew it just as quickly as she had gotten it. "We had the wrong idea about you. You are not a mentor."

Santana sighed deeply, dread overtaking her body.

"You're a star young lady, and we need to find a way to make you shine."