Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following.
Sorry for taking so long! I've been really busy, and this chapter is really short, but I hope it suffices for the time being! RxR please—it always helps! Thanks for the reviews last time guys, it was nice to know that the story was actually worth something! I'll update a new chapter when I can!
Chapter 2
I was wandering—a very lost soul, old, used and destroyed. There was no sense of direction, no elusive pull anywhere. All I could do was wander, absolutely despise myself with every step, and contemplate contingency plans not for the first time in my life. Aged and withered, I went no where, and saw nothing. Her face crept into my mind at every turn, and burned through my heart like a fresh fire. There was no escape, no reason anywhere anymore.
Stuck in eternal purgatory and indecisive, the minutes became years and the days I took one eternity at a time. I still was unsure how to proceed...how to plan my death. From the sheer amount of loathing I felt for myself and the nagging need for this belated end, I thought that it would have been easier—it wasn't. I knew of Carlisle's struggles to end himself, and I started there. I recalled his study, the pictures, and his story.
Bella.
Suddenly, she was there; smiling, blushing, my arm around her fragile waist. I felt human, like a human being hit with a battering ram over and over again. My legs buckled and I collapsed against the wet brick behind me. There was no air, and there was no life again.
"He tried to drown himself in the ocean...but he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist...feeding...while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation."
"Is that possible?"
Her face looked so in pain I wanted to hold her...to reach out and tell her everything would be alright, and that I was still here...
"No, there are very few ways we can be killed."
And then she was gone, lying at the bottom of an ocean...pale as death...
No!
I breathed through my nose, trembling, and tried to remember the rest of that day. What had I told her? There must have been something in there that could help me now. My mind scaled through the paintings again...the story....
"He was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers."
Italy...
"Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends. He often painted them as gods—Aro, Marcus, and Caius. Nighttime patrons of the arts."
"What happened to them?"
"They're still there."
Bella smiled behind my lids.
Of course.
Of course! The Volturi...I would go to the Volturi; the idea seemed childishly obvious now. They would be glad to kill me, in effect, ridding the world of one more monster. All I had to do was ask—I was dangerous enough as it is, nothing to lose but life, a deep hatred rooted in myself already...yes, they would comply.
Deep relief spread through my body—I would be with her in at the most two days. Welcome to join her in the afterlife, if she would still have me. My lungs became whole again, and I got up steadily, opening my eyes. The world already felt lighter, as if it were awaiting my leave; happy to be rid of the likes of me. I inhaled, and closed my eyes once more. Bella beckoned me forward with a tiny, beguiling hand.
Soon enough, love.