OK, so this feels like it is a little bit quicker than the last time, so hope this is good! I always feel like I don't write enough, so tell me if I don't! RxR, as always please! Thanks to all those supporting me as well! You guys are awesome!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following.

Chapter 4

The first thing I noticed was the smell. Rusty, old, and rancid air flowed around me, and was, altogether, very unpleasant. The high windows let little light from the dawn through, smothering the beams of yellowed light with dust motes. Three chairs sat at the end of the hall, and gradually, everything sloped downward to a manhole in the middle of the room. I didn't want to think about what that was for. But all this, so easily recognized, was pushed away when I looked ahead. For, ahead of me, was my demise. Three soulless monsters, draped in cloaks black as pitch, with skin like shale.

"Aro," I nodded to the front most figure, meeting his gaze coldly.

Silently, he waved his hands forward, with exaggerated grace, motioning for his brothers to stay behind. Footsteps echoed like hail in the open air, and slowly, he raised his hand, as if to shake mine.

"Please," his voice was a soft sighing.

I took his cold hand, colder than mine, and grasped it firmly. Aro's eyes drifted shut, and he did not move.

I gasped as I realized what was going on.

Bella...Bella...cold on the ocean floor...

My thoughts, dreams, horrors, and secrets flowed through my mind, and I could see what only he could see. My hand trembled in his, and I closed my eyes tightly.

The meadow...the forest...Rosalie's contrite call...

For what seemed like lifetimes, Aro stood and silently held my hand as he read my past, my present, and what I wanted of my future. Here and there, he shifted in answer to what he saw, whether it be happy or painful. Not once did he speak, or slacken his grip, but stood erect like a statue reading my life.

And then, he paused on one thing—Bella's face. Her humanly blush, clumsiness, and inability to grasp the social nature of others, and he felt how I felt about her, saw what I wanted for her. He paused, and then, he let go.

Caius and Marcus cleared their throats behind us.

"How interesting...Edward." He opened his eyes at the same time I did, and turned away abruptly, muttering to himself.

I flexed my hand, and crossed my arms in front of my chest out of habit. I tried to block out what he had brought force from the corners of my aged mind, but they kept reappearing, and I mentally winced, as though each one bore a burning torch for me.

"You have given me much to consider here, young one. What is it that you have come to ask us for? What is it that you do not already have, Edward?"

I stood at the lip of the manhole, and did not look up to him for a long moment. I knew what I wanted, but I didn't know if he would give it. So many doubts, lies, and crushed hopes, that the idea of giving up presented itself to me. I shooed it away with violent rebuffs.

Sensing my cautious thoughts, Aro turned inaudibly and walked to his chair, sitting down.

"You are a very interesting one...surely; you follow the same morals that my friend, Carlisle does? How it still intrigues me, the lifestyle you carry on. Again, I wonder—what more can I give you, if you already have such fulfillment back home?"

I paused to gather myself and the strands of reasoning that still existed, and then met his gaze steadily.

"I ask for one thing, Aro. Too much of this world I have seen already, to know that it holds nothing else for me—not reason, not joy, not even desire to carry on much more. If there is nothing, then tell me, what is my existence? Why do I live, though my heart has stopped to many times, for too many reasons? You speak of my fulfillment, but what does that mean? Sustenance? A home? You think I can not want much more, that I must have everything. But there is one more thing my existence lacks; a love. One which I have lost, and will not find anywhere else from one end of Earth, to the next. And, if I can not have that, then I do and must ask for only one favor from you, Aro. I ask for death."

I stared ahead with calm intensity, searching for his thoughts, for his brother's thoughts. Breathing tensely through my nose, I waited for a solace.

Caius, clearing his throat, stood up, and clasped his hands in front of his stomach.

"Edward, young friend, you speak of so many things you lack, but not of the gifts that you have been granted. Tell me, why should we let such things go to waste when there is much potential for our family—for you?"

A growl rumbled in my chest, and my hands went taut, my body turning to granite. Joining was not an option, did nobody understand? If they did not intend to give me death, then I would force it upon their hands.

"Potential, Caius? Is that what you see here?" I spoke quietly, menacingly, "I, who have nothing to lose, because I have already lost much more than I have to gain, have latent gifts for you?"

Slow anger began to surge inside of me, turning the world red.

"Do you not see how dangerous I am? Does it not dawn upon you, Caius, what I am willing to do to be given an end?"

He smirked and chuckled in a way that vexed me even more.

"Such ignorance, Edward," he hissed.

Aro looked between us, and Marcus sat up in his chair minutely, deliberately changed his bored expression to one of immense power.

I felt like the tension should be visible between us.

Aro was the first one to speak.

"Let us not quarrel, friends," he nodded towards me, "Surely, there is a way to go about this...problem. Edward, you see no reason, no rhyme to life, but we must converse, my brothers and I. Do not think we will so lightly put an end to such a...profound existence. Think of what you have been offered by our family, and do not take it delicately; we do not always offer second chances for that sort of gift."

Did they not see that I did not take such a request lightly either?

"You speak of ignorance, Caius. Come, tell me then. Do you think I would ask such a heavy thing as death, if I were not to think over it first? I have my reasons, and your brother well knows of them. Do not take it lightly either, when I say I will go to no end to come to such a demise. Aro has given me your offer, and I give you my warning. Think as you will, and converse, but do not infer that I will not stop to achieve an end to my immortality."

I met each of their stares with a baleful grimace, and then stopped at Aro, waiting for their answer.

"I have had enough of these...these warnings for today, friends. Come, Caius...Marcus. We must mull over this dilemma with care."

He paused to get out of his throne, nonchalantly striding behind it, and halted to look back at me, his milky red eyes burning with a fervor that I could not comprehend.

"Return to us tomorrow, young one. By then, we will have made our final offer. Ponder, friend, and do not do anything rash—it would be such a waste. Until tomorrow, Mr. Cullen."

Slowly, in unison, they nodded their heads, and, grabbing the folds of their cloaks, trailed behind one grace another with a practiced grace into a dark passageway.

****

I stood in the corridor silently for a moment, and then snarled under my breath.

Until tomorrow; to exist another day in madness.

"Edward,"

Demetri, now flanked by Felix, grabbed my wrist, and pushed me towards the door. I yanked free with the easiness of unclasping a bracelet, and strode carelessly back to the lobby. The bright florescent lights made no impact on my vision, and I ignored all the pleasantries still displayed for welcome guests, of which I was sure I was no longer one. Gianna, startled by my brusque entrance, gazed up at my enraged expression wordlessly, looking more like prey than ever, and stuttered out a farewell.

"C-C-Ciao, Signor!"

Without a pause, I flew out of the lobby, and down the halls, my strides like feathers drifting across the ground. I had to leave, I had to get out. There was no more dealing with life; life cheated you just when you though you had won, and I was done playing its game.

Sunlight shone like golden rain through the slanted windows, sending arcs of motley colors off of my bare arms.

Edward...please. I love you.

Bella ran beside me, and sunlight rained off of her too.

No! Stop! No...more...lies.

It caused me physical pain, this mirage that echoed my wants, no matter how selfish. This would never end, the deceit, the gut wrenching aches that love presented. There shouldn't be such a thing as love, it caused too much anguish, and too many dishonesties.

Edward...

By now I was under the city, able to stop, but unable to breathe. I did not need to, but I wanted and struggled to. My legs fell out from underneath me, and I wavered, collapsing onto the moist brick. I didn't deserve a heart, and definitely not a soul. I was a monster like no other. Carlisle's face appeared in my mind, and he smiled gently at me. It didn't matter how good he thought I was, no matter how decent he thought a disgrace like I could be. He had never, ever felt such binding agony as I did now.

Damn morality.

No matter what my family thought, I knew there was no heaven for me now. How could there ever be such a thing? If the world was like this, why would you want to keep living after death? Who said heaven would be much better? What I wanted now was an all encompassing, silencing sleep. One that erased the memories and the pain from my head, because no matter how good they were, it wasn't worth what they were putting me through now. I had no future, and I had come to terms with that.

I thought back to the Volturi. Making such an offer as they had, one to join instead of die, I came to realize that they most likely did not intend to give me what I had asked of them—mercy from life. So I had to come up with a way to force their hand, and I would. The many rules for vampires in Volterra made it easy to find one to break, and I wanted one that would cause them to not even doubt the decision to kill me. Exposure was obvious, but something that would disturb life as it was. It deserved a life-shattering intrusion.