I blushed and looked over at Dimitri who, much to my surprise was blushing as well. It looked like neither of us really knew what to say, Adrian took advantage of the moment and came up to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders possessively.

That was a really bad idea on his part.

Dimitri looked at him murderously. Adrian wasn't a wimp, but at the moment he had six foot badass guardian who was giving him the death glare. Hell, even I was scared. Adrian gave me a helpless look that I didn't really know how to deal with. What was I supposed to do? Hurt flashed in his eyes but he took his arm from around me and stuck both his hands in his pockets. He cleared his throat; his gaze resting on everything in the room that didn't have a face.

I expected Dimitri to do something, and I was sort of hoping it would revolve around him answering with a resounding "YES!" to his mothers question, even if that was incredibly selfish of me. I hated hurting Adrian, but it was hard to keep my emotions in check when they were all over the place. Dimitri finally answered.

"Things are a bit…complicated right now, mom." She looked at us with pursed lips but then smartly dropped the subject by bringing Paul and the other kids over to say hello to Dimitri.

When he had met all of his new nieces and nephews he motioned for me to join him outside. My heart was thumping in my chest as I walked behind him into the back yard; it gave a small jerk as he turned around to face me again. I might feel bad for him because of what he is going through, but I only had so much control.

"So you're okay with your family? They don't have to go banging on cell walls just to get you to look at them?" This was wrong. I knew that what I was saying was awful, but I was pissed. He gave a frustrated sigh.

"I didn't hurt them the way I hurt you. It's different."

"How many times are we going to have this conversation? I. Forgive. You! And even if I didn't, this little plan of yours still wouldn't make sense! If I was the one you are convincing yourself you hurt so badly, then why are you making amends with Lissa?"

He had a pained expression on his face and I really hoped because he was questioning his logic.

"I just…I just'

"You just what? Is this some messed of way of punishing me?"

"I'm punishing me!" He screamed suddenly, loosing all of his control. He slid down against the house and put his head in his hands. My jaw dropped and I let out my breath in a huge whoosh. He was punishing himself? I didn't even want to let myself hope incase he broke my heart again.

"I remember every single second of being that monster. I remember seeing you talking to that crazy old lady and thinking about how your blood smelt. I remember you trying everything you could to get free and me laughing at your attempts. I can still see you with your bruised neck because I bit it so much, and that you were so dizzy that you got attacked by a human. I remember you crying and me calling you weak because of it.

I did so many awful things to you and when I was saved, I just wanted to make up for it. I wanted to put myself through the hell that I put you through."

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I couldn't believe what he was saying. All this time he had still loved me.

"You may forgive me, but I can never forgive myself."

I slid down next to him on the wall and put my arm on his shoulder. He looked up at me with tear filled eyes and I could believe it. The big strong guardian whose poker face never faulted was crying. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close while he cried. Most people would think that he was a wimp for sobbing like he was, but Dimitri had earned a good long cry.

Right now it didn't matter if Dimitri ever wanted something romantic with me again, or if we could ever go back to what we were before. I just wanted him to feel better about himself, and I felt like a real bitch for not wanting that sooner. I would help Dimitri no matter what it took, I didn't care of it took time from finding Lissa's half brother or sister or even if it messed up my relationship with Adrian.

Dimitri's life had been taken away from him, and I was going to do anything in my power to get it back.

Sorry that this chapter was kinda cheesy. I'm not very good at writing dialog, but I felt like this conversation was needed. :P

xoxo

-Lydia