So here's another chapter! Sorry that all of my chapters right now are fillers, but I think that Rose needed to set some things straight :P

Also, to answer RockyMtnMAG's question…I never really thought about how she got the knife, I saw something similar on a Law and Order episode and had a "hmmm…what if?" moment, :D . Thank you for all of the reviews, I am being completely honest when I say that they make my whole day!

xoxo

-Lydia

Adrian looked at me like he could not believe what I had just said had actually come out of my mouth. I don't know why it surprised him so much; he had to have seen this coming.

"What?" he choked out finally, not able to find his voice.

"Look, I'm sorry Adrian. Really I am. But it isn't fair to anyone if we keep doing this."

"You mean it isn't fair to him!" He had gotten his voice back, and boy did I wish it had taken a little longer. He was shouting now, but that made it easier, in a way. If he was going to act like a jerk then so could I.

"No, I mean that this is better for everyone. I don't want to break up with you, I meant every word I ever said to you, but would you really want to go out with me if you knew I still had feelings for Dimitri? Would you really be able to kiss me knowing that the whole time I could be thinking of someone else?"

"That's crap Rose and you know it! You may not be completely selfish, but I don't believe that you would do something like this for anyone other then yourself. You just want an easy way out so you can move in on some guy who doesn't even give a damn about you anymore!"

Now I was angry.

How could he even think that? For the past year now, everything I had done was to please someone else. The only thing I had done for myself was letting myself have a relationship with Dimitri, not that I could have stopped that even if I wanted to, but still! And after all we had been through together I thought that Adrian would understand. Or at least want me to be happy.

"That is so not true! And I'm not even with Dimitri, right now things are complicated. I'm a fugitive for craps sake! I don't exactly have time to snuggle up to you when ever you are in the mood to have a girlfriend. Which, lets face it, isn't very often. You don't even need me anyway! It looked like you had forgotten me completely when those showgirls walked by us in Vegas!" Okay, so that was low. But it was true; Adrian was famous for being a womanizer of sorts. I hated hurting him, but what was I supposed to do?

Adrian looked ready to punch something. "I am sorry Adrian; I just can't be so torn anymore. One minute I feel like I don't need Dimitri anymore because I have this great and sweet boyfriend who would do anything for me. And then I see him and I wish that I had never agreed to give you a shot because then things would be so much less complicated." I had started out yelling, but as I confessed more my voice had grown softer and more apologetic.

"Whatever, Rose." He said before walking away, heading down the hill to where the town was. I took a shaky breath trying to hold back much unneeded tears. I was so broken anymore, I wish I could be the happy, spunky Rose that I was before but I had matured too much for that. The world didn't seem like one big party anymore; a party that you could get drunk at so everything around you would look good. It was a messed up scary place and I had almost taken the easy way out by taking my own life. And I realized now how stupid that was, because I didn't want to die. I wasn't ready yet. I had a best friend who I couldn't imagine living without, I had a badass mother and a dad with awesome hair and I had two great guys—wait, make that one. I was pretty sure the only thing Adrian would do for me right now was tell me to go to hell, but he was still a really great guy.

I didn't want to die; but if I was being honest with myself, I would admit that most things happen whether you want them to or not.