Thanks again to lil artist and whats. the. time. mr. wolf, for your reviews. Much love to you guys for sticking around. :D
lil artist, the Greek myth you're thinking of is the story of Arachne. Which is an interesting comparison. Maureen's not a Greek myth, but she is proud, and as for spiders...well, you'll see. )
This is my favorite chapter. It was the most fun to write, and makes me laugh.
This Is How We Play Nice
Claiming that she had to see a teacher about extra credit work, Maureen got Aunt Joan to drive her and Jess to school a little earlier than usual on Monday. Once there, Maureen ditched Jessica, and hung around the parking lot, thumbs hanging from the belt loops on her green slacks. Soon, the silver Volvo that the Cullens took to school every day drove up the road and onto the asphalt lot. Maureen observed what parking space Edward was heading towards, and quickly slipped between the cars towards the back of the vehicle.
The Volvo stopped, and the occupants prepared to disembark from the car. The left backseat door unlocked, and started to open.
Maureen dove. Dropping her backpack on the ground, she grabbed the partially opened door and yanked it out of the blond guy—Jasper's—hand. It was harder to pull it away from him than it would have been from a human, but that was no surprise. Luckily, he hadn't been holding it too tightly. Before anyone in the car could move—and Maureen suspected they could move very fast when they weren't caught unawares—Maureen jumped into the backseat of the car, shoving the three occupants over. It was like slamming into a boulder, but Jasper was scrambling to get out of her way, a look of panic on his face.
Maureen slammed the door on herself, shutting them all in the car.
"Are you fucking kidding me!" She shouted.
"What are you doing?" Edward said. "You can't be in here!"
"Why, some kind of Undead code? The Eleventh Commandment: Let not Those Who Breathe sit in your Volvo C30?"
"We breathe! Er…when we talk." Emmett said. He was sitting in the front passenger seat, and looked nervous and awkward. Rosalie and Edward, on the other hand, were furious. And Jasper looked like he was about to have a panic attack. Only the dark-haired girl was calm.
"See?" The dark-haired girl—Alice—said. "I told you she was going to confront us. I saw that much."
"You didn't say she'd climb in the car…Stanley, you are breaking and entering!" Edward said. "For the love of—Jasper, hold your breath!"
"I cannot fucking believe it." Maureen said. "It's too ridiculous to be true. Vamp—"
"Please don't say that word, not here." Alice said. "People outside the car might hear you. We've worked very hard—"
"You can't be what you are!" Maureen said. "You guys are pathetic! You don't look like corpses; you look like messed-up Greek statues. Sunlight, sunlight doesn't burn you! And you're in high school. You have eternity to do whatever you want, and you go to high school?"
"Excuse me." Rosalie said. "But did you just climb into our car and shut the door, fully aware of what were are?" The last part came out as a shrill half-whisper. "Are you suicidal?"
"Oh, please." Maureen said. "If I were face to face with a Bengal tiger, then I'd be scared. In comparison, you guys are about as scary as Pooh's friend Tigger."
"Get out of this car!" Edward said forcefully. "Alice, what's—"
"He's not going to bite her." Alice said. She looked amazed. "He ate three days ago, but—"
"—she smells terrible." Jasper said. Scrunched up against Maureen, he was staring at her with a mingled expression of shock and wonder. "Alice, I don't want to eat her! She smells completely unappetizing!"
"Gee mister, I sure am flattered." Maureen said dryly.
But Jasper wasn't listening. Twisting himself around—Maureen winced, it was like being scraped by a concrete wall—Jasper grabbed her hand between his ice-cold palms.
"Hi, I'm Jasper Hale! It's great to meet you." He said, smiling broadly.
"So who are you?" Emmett asked. He was staring at Maureen with abject confusion. "What are you? I don't get why you're special."
"Carlisle said she didn't have a name for what she is, remember?" Edward said. "She's just unhuman in some way."
"The fact that it took you and Alice so long to realize she wasn't normal is a little worrying, by the by." Rosalie said to Edward. "Especially you. Wouldn't you have seen how she thought of herself?"
"Traditional embroidery is a semi-abstract art form." Edward said. "The mental picture she has of herself is more or less a cartoon. There was no way I could tell how she realistically saw herself when her whole mind looks like the Bayeux tapestry!"
"In douchebag's defense, I don't advertise what I am any more than you guys do." Maureen said. "I'm not surprised we fooled each other for a month."
"Do you see?" Edward said. "Did you hear what she just said? Her mind is full of that, all the time! All sorts of inappropriate, rude words."
"Oh yeah, thanks for telling your father I was a bitch, by the way." Maureen said.
"I never said any such word. I merely told him what I thought of you, based on your own foul thoughts and vocabulary."
"Can we please all calm down?" Alice said, raising her hands. The gesture was less effective as she was tightly sandwiched between Jasper and Rosalie. "I think we have a few important things to discuss, before we make Maureen get out of the car."
"I'll make it quick for you guys, since Edward's got his panties in a twist." Maureen said.
Rosalie clapped a hand over her mouth, stifling a laugh. Edward looked murderous.
"You want anonymity, right?" Maureen said. "So do I. No one in my family knows what I am. I'd like to keep it that way. I moved up here so I could get some peace of mind, and do my own thing. I don't want to be exposed or forced to leave any more than you guys do."
"You won't tell anyone about us?" Jasper said.
"I swear." Maureen drew an x over her chest. "And I hope you guys promise to do the same."
"There we go!" Alice said, smiling. "She's definitely not going to tell anyone about us now. I can see it."
"You can see it?" Maureen said.
"Alice is precognitive." Jasper said.
She can see the future? Maureen thought. Damn, that's heavy.
"I'm surprised you know what 'precognitive' means." Edward said. Maureen scowled at the offhanded insult.
"And I'm not surprised that you read minds." Maureen said. "Given your poorly veiled contempt for everyone around you. No wonder you're such an asshole."
"Hey, add one rule to this little deal. Don't call him names." Rosalie snarled.
Maureen was startled. She thought Rosalie didn't like Edward much. Then again, Maureen didn't like Jessica all the time either—but she was still loyal to her.
"Sure." Maureen said. "I'm sorry for saying what I said."
"No you're not." Edward said.
"Well then I'm sorry for making you and your family feel bad, how about that?" Maureen snapped. "I'm sorry for worrying you, for making you think you'd be exposed. Am I lying now, Edward?"
Edward shook his head, sighing.
"Please forgive my behavior." He said. "Just because you respond to every situation with such vitriol doesn't mean it was acceptable for me to sink to your level. I was wrong to do so."
"You should have stopped at 'please forgive my behavior'." Maureen said.
Alice laughed. "I like her." She said to her siblings. "She has a better sense of humor than the werewolves."
"There are werewolves here too?" Maureen said. "In this tiny town? Good grief. That's a little dumb."
"They are dumb." Emmett said. "And paranoid."
"You all have something in common, then." Maureen said.
"Get out of my car please." Edward said.
Maureen did so, picking her backpack up off the ground. "See you in class, Edward." She said. She concentrated hard on a mental image of the two of them getting along…grudges were useless.
Edward nodded. As the Cullens began to climb out of the Volvo, Maureen hefted her backpack onto her shoulders, and headed for her first class.
"Well, I think that went well." She said to herself. She started to giggle.
She didn't stop giggling until she sat down at her desk.
If you found any of this funny or interesting, leave a review to tell me which parts! :D