Chapter 35
the unbearable

"Renesmee, can you come out here." I heard my father call.

Oh great, now I was going to be grilled for revealing us to Charlie. I made my way down the hall and into the living room. My parents sat on a couch next to each other. They pointed to the other couch, signaling me to sit.
I did as I was told.

"You're in so much trouble." My mother stated.

"Why?"

"Because, you revealed our secret to Charlie! Ultimately putting him in danger. How could you be so careless?" my father half whispered and half yelled.

"He deserves to know the truth; he's your father in law for god's sake!"

"I know that, and maybe he does deserve to know the truth, but he certainly doesn't deserve to be killed!"

I stepped back.

"They're—they're going to—k—kill him?"

"Most likely, and there's nothing we can do about it now. The best chance we have is if we can somehow keep him safe and compromise with the Volturi." He said shrugging.

I looked down at my feet.

"I have to go to bed…I'll talk to you in the morning." I said as I left the room.

I went into my room and flopped on the bed. My father was right, how could I have been so careless?

*tap tap tap*

I sat up in bed, what was that?

*tap tap tap*

It had sounded like it was coming from the window, but I wasn't sure. I got up and walked over to the window and pulled up the shade.

There was my personal miracle. I opened up the window quickly, and threw my arms around him.

"Jake, oh my god!"

"Hey there, Nessie."

He let go of me and stepped back.

"I've come here to take you away."

"Jake, I don't think that's such a good idea, I mean, you remember what happened the last—"

"I know, I meant for a few hours, not days."

"Oh, okay, well where are we going?"

"I can't talk about it here; your dad will hear my thoughts."

"Oh…um…okay…"

With one swift motion, he picked me up into his arms.

"Jake, wait, my parents think I'm in here sleeping, what if they come in?"

He set me down, and then looked around the room. He walked over to my bed and pulled back the covers.
He grabbed some pillows from the foot of the bed and stuffed them under the sheets. Then, he pulled the covers up again. It looked like my shape.
Then he walked over to the other side of the room and flipped off the light switch.
He walked back over to me and picked me up in his arms again.
Before I knew it, we were jumping out the window.
When we hit the ground, he gently set me down.

"Where are we going?" I whispered.

"Swimming." He said, winking at me.

He began to walk ahead of me, and I smiled to myself.
I followed Jake to his car, he opened my door for me and I slid in. He walked over to his side and got in.

"Okay, so where are we swimming?" I asked.

"You'll see." He said smiling.
He revved up the engine and sped quietly away.

"You know my parents are going kill you when they find out?" I warned.

"Yup…I know, but I don't care."

I smiled and looked ahead. As we drove through the dark, I felt very happy. Although, I couldn't help feeling like something was missing. I felt like I should be with Antoine right now, and I wondered where he was.
After a while of silence, Jake pulled into a beach. It was very quiet and secluded; familiar.
He got out and opened my door and helped me out.

"Uh…Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't have a swimsuit…."

"So?"

"So what am I going to swim in?"

"Well…it depends how comfortable you are with me…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Before he could answer, he was already taking off his shoes, socks and shirt.

"Whoa…wait a second? Are you saying that we get like totally undressed?"

"That's your decision…I'm going in like this. I love you Nessie, but I don't think I'm ready to go that far."

I sighed in relief.
I took off my shoes and the shirt that was over a mini tank. I walked over to the edge of the water; Jacob was already waist deep in the water. He looked at me and smiled.

"Come on, don't be shy, come on in. The water's really nice."

I sighed and went into the water slowly. He held his arms out for me to climb into. I waded slowly over to him and into his arms. He held me there for quite some time. I felt so safe and wanted.

"I'm really glad you're here with me, Nessie." He mused.

"Me too."

He lifted my chin so I could look at him. He stared into my eyes with such…need and love. I don't know how I didn't love him before, but I know I do now.
I reached up and kissed him on the lips. When I pulled away, he looked into my eyes again, wanting more. I reached up behind his head and pulled him back to my lips and kissed him. He hugged me closer and ran his fingers through my hair.
He ended the kiss to take a breath. He looked into my eyes again and kissed me on the cheek. And before I knew it, he was gone.

"Jake? Jake, where are you?"

I saw some bubbles come to the surface a few feet away. Jake emerged to the surface and shook his hair.
Then, in a flash, he was underwater again. I knew this time what was happening. I felt something tickle my leg and then slowly pulled me under.
Jake was inches away from me and smiled sweetly at me. He reached out with his hand and held my face. I gently placed my hand on his. I moved closer to him and kissed his lips.
I had heard before that kissing underwater was extremely romantic, but never thought that could be true. I was wrong though, I felt so emotionally attached to Jacob now, and not even Antoine had made me feel so loved.
He pulled away and smiled at me. He put his hand in my hair, waving underwater. He twisted and curled the undone tassels.
Then he swam to the surface. I swam up behind him.
He took me into his arms and held me. We looked up at the stars for quite some time. He took my hand and led me to the beach.
I lied down on the sand and he did the same next to me. He looked at me for a long while; I just looked at the stars.

"Why?" he pondered.

"Why what?"

"Why are you here with me?"

"Because I want to be."

He looked back up at the sky. I rolled myself over to him and rested my head on his shoulder. I eventually fell asleep there, safe in his arms.

When I woke up, it was still pitch black out. Jacob was still there, holding me. He was asleep though. I sat up and looked around.

"Jake!" I said shaking him. His eyes flew open and he sat up.

"What? What?"

"What time is it?"

He looked around and scratched his head.

"Uh…I don't know. One o'clock I'm guessing?"

"What? Oh my gosh Jake we have to get back!"

He jumped up quickly and picked me up in his arms. He ran us over to the car and put me in. He ran quickly over to his side and started up the car.
He sped away without looking back.

"Oh man, my parents are going to flip!" I said putting my hands on my head.

"Nessie, chill, we'll make it!"

He kicked up the speed.

"I need to talk to you about something." I stated.

"What's that?"

"Do you know where Antoine is?"

He looked at me with a puzzled look.

"No? Why would i?"

"Well, I went to his house the other day and I found a note…"

"What's the note say?"

I took out the note from my shirt pocket and handed it to him. He read it while he drove, looking up at the road to see.
When he was finished, he threw the note onto my lap.
He snorted at the window.

"What?" I asked.

"I can't believe he's lying to you like this."

"How do I know he's lying?"

He turned and looked at me with a shocked expression.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes I'm serious."

"You're seriously serious? You're really buying this guys B.S.?"

"Well I don't know what I'm buying!"

"How can this be possible? Do you really think I'm capable of doing something like this? Do you really think I want to put you out for the wolves to chow down on?"

"I don't know, stop yelling at me!"

"Why should I? You go swimming with me, and kiss me like you trust me with your whole life and now you spring this on me? I don't know what's up with you, but you better seriously figure out who you love."

He was pulling into the road outside my house. He leaned over and opened my door.

"Jake I—"

"Get out."

"Jake"

"Just get out of my car Renesmee!"

I got out and slammed the door. I ran into the woods and to my house. My light was still off; maybe I got away with it after all. I climbed up the tree and into my window.
Everything in my room looked untouched. I smiled at myself. Then I walked over to my closet and put on some pajamas, crawled into bed, and closed my eyes.

I woke up gasping for air. A usual morning it seemed. I looked around my room, expecting to see a sorry Jacob sitting somewhere.
Nothing.
When I looked at my mirror, there was a note tapped to it. Part of me wanted it to be from Antoine, a note telling me that he's alright.
I sat up and went over to my mirror and took the note.

Renesmee,

I'm sorry about how I behaved last night, no I don't deserve another chance, but I'm asking you for one. I want you to meet me at La Push so we can talk. I want to tell you what's going on, and the truth.
I promise, if you give me this one last chance, I'll make it up to you, please.

p.s. I love you

I looked away and threw the note on my bed. I didn't even want to think about going to see Jacob right now. He had used his last chance last night and he won't get anymore. Besides, I need to focus on finding Rosaline.
I got dressed and went out to the living room. Surprise surprise, another note. This one though, I could tell was from my parents.

Renesmee,

Your mother and I are at Carlisle and Esme's. We have some new information on Rosaline and we would like you to be here to hear it.

Love
your mother and father

Oh thank god, maybe they found her? I wasn't about to jump to any conclusions though, so I hurried out the door.
What if they found her? What if they did, but she's not alive? I know I shouldn't be thinking about death, but with the way our lives go, it's not that hard to conceive a thought like that.
I flew through the door and the Cullen's to find everyone sitting together in the living room.

"What's the news?" I asked quickly.

They all put their heads down. Never a good sign.

"Tell me." I demanded.

My father stepped toward me with his arms out.

"Renesmee, dear."

"No, just tell me what happened!"

"She's dead." He answered.

I stepped away from them, with horror filled eyes.

"Wha—what do you mean she's dead?" I was breathing quickly now.

"We found her body up north." Carlisle said quietly.

"No, no she's not dead, you're lying!" I screamed, tears running down my face.

"No, honey, I really wish we were." My mother whispered.

My father stepped toward me to hug me, but I pulled away. I wiped away my tears.

"Fine, show me her then." I demanded.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." My father argued quietly.

"Well, I do, now show me her body!" I demanded again.

They sighed at once and then walked ahead of me. Carlisle led me into his office, and there she was.
She lay there with her blonde locks flowing behind her head, her face as pale as ever. She looked peaceful, but this wasn't enough proof.

"Can I be alone with her?" I asked quietly.

They nodded and left the room.
When they were all gone, I walked over to her. I touched her hair gently and then I touched her perfect little porcelain face. I had desperately wanted her to open her eyes and smile at me, but there was nothing.
Maybe I was in denial, but this didn't feel like Rosaline, she was…different.
I didn't see how she could have died, there was no sign of the ripping of the limbs, the only way I've heard you can kill a vampire. But she wasn't entirely vampire.
Who could have done this? How was this even possible?

I examined her body further, looking for some sign that would show how she died.
I noticed her head was turned to once side, completely covering the other.
I took a deep breath and placed my hand on the covered side and ever so gently, turned it to face me.

There was my proof, her face was scratched up and I knew right then that she had been attacked by something. She must have bled to death.
I could feel myself hyperventilating and I let her face turn back to cover the battered side.
I clutched my stomach and attempted to control my breathing. I fell to the floor and held my head between my knees.
I began to sob loudly, and I didn't care who heard me. The door was locked, so no one could come in to "comfort" me. I just wanted to be alone.

Alone with Rosaline.