The whole family is struggling. I portray Zainab's feelings of loss here but in one of my other stories there will be an alternative scenario where Syed does not come out voluntarily and Zainab will be more vicious and aggressive in her treatment of who she believes is to blame. Please keep the reviews coming and thanks for your lovely comments so far.
Chapter four
In the days that followed Masood went through many emotions. He and Zainab were barely speaking. He was sleeping on the settee and Zainab spent most of her time in the bedroom lying on the bed, face turned to the wall. Part of him wanted to reach out to her but he was also furious at the things she had said and with how she was now behaving. He had so many conflicting thoughts; he felt his mind would explode. It helped him to do practical things and so he and Tamwar set about cancelling all the wedding arrangements that had been provisionally made. They told family members that the wedding had been postponed indefinitely for now. They hinted at a problem in Amira's family which strictly speaking was true. Nevertheless, Masood felt guilty doing it. They avoided their wider Muslim community and didn't visit the mosque. The Imam eventually came to see them and they thanked him for his concern but neither he not they talked about the real issue.
Tanwar volunteered to go and see Amira. He was so in awe of her beauty he could never talk to her properly. To him she was the ideal woman, although much of that had to do with the way he imagined her to be rather than who she really was. He explained, awkwardly, what had happened with Syed. Once Amira realised that Syed had actually told his parents she knew he wasn't coming back. She arranged to go and stay with a friend in Parliament Hill and within three days she had left the Square. Masood was grateful. Tamwar wondered miserably if he'd ever see her again.
Once, Masood had seen Christian in the distance, coming from the shop with a bag of groceries He made sure Christian couldn't see him but he continued to watch as Christian crossed the square. At that moment he felt that Syed was truly lost to him. He felt unable to comprehend how his son could lie with a man. He watched the way Christian walked; it was as if he'd never really seen him before. With new eyes and thoughts he saw Christian as if there was a sense of otherness about him, something not quite right in the way he looked and moved.
Dark half formed pictures came into Masood's mind of this man and his son and he felt sick with disgust. His fury with Syed grew as he thought about the hell that he was putting them all through. He hadn't even had the decency to leave yet. He was quite sure Syed was still at Christian's.
Masala Queen was impossible to maintain and business had ground to a halt. Relationships with Ian Beale were strained to breaking point. Jane had left Ian only weeks before and as yet there still was no sign that she would be coming back. Masood strongly missed her to confide in and right now he felt the lack of her very much but then he remembered it was her brother that was at the centre of this nightmare and she would probably be supportive of him.
Zainab lay staring at the wall. She ached for Maz to understand how much she needed him but she also felt a deep anger toward him because she needed someone to blame for the terrible pain she was feeling. Pictures of Syed playing as a little boy kept tormenting her mind. Snap shots of him over the years. Zainab loved him so very much. Her beautiful boy. The thought of never seeing Syed again and of what he might be doing filled her with horror.
After five days, Tamwar couldn't take any more of the atmosphere in the house and so he phoned Shabnam, told her what had happened and begged her to come home. Her mother needed her and yes it was an emergency.