Its all new territory for these two and it has hardly begun but despite everything I want them to make it -eventually!
Chapter five
It was two weeks before Christian and Syed left the Square. Christian had managed to get them a twelve month house sit through a friend of a friend. It was only a few miles away but far enough for them to both feel more relaxed. It was fully furnished and ready to move in to. They agreed to put most of Christian's belongings in storage for the time being until they got their own place. It felt strange to be discussing such a thing. They were both exploring new territory on every level. Acknowledging their togetherness had given them both a new sense of themselves, a shift in their self perception. It was a strange time of adjustment for them both
The only people Christian told were Jane and Roxy and he asked Roxy to be discreet just this once and understand what a big deal it was for Syed. She was upset that Christian was leaving but Christian assured her it wasn't goodbye. They'd just have to make the effort to keep in touch. She teased him about how she'd seen Syed leaving Christian's flat and he joked back but she'd known Christian long enough to see that something had changed. He was a lot more serious and very protective of Syed .
When he phoned Jane and told her she was shocked. She'd had no idea about the two of them. She was happy that her 'little brother' was so in love and let him know that she was always there for him if he needed her. Privately she was worried. She felt there would be a lot of challenges for them both. She had often talked with Maz and knew about Syed's background. She hoped he wasn't using her brother in any way.
Ian was his usual sensitive self. He realised the truth and made various crass remarks but Christian gave him an extra three months rent for the lack of notice and paid him a lump sum as a way of exiting the business. It left Christian with very little savings, but it was worth it to sever the ties, keep Ian happy and more to the point, quiet. Christian heaved a sigh of relief once the transaction was over. He promised to phone the kids and Lucy in particular was upset that he was going, but they had so much going on in their own lives that they weren't that interested in what Uncle Christian was doing
Syed had not left Christian's flat once in that two weeks. He had no desire to further humiliate his family and Christian was patient and understanding, doing all the stuff that needed to be done outside There were so many practical things to sort out and Christian kept Syed busy, packing boxes, making phone calls and organising removals.
Syed felt a constant mix of emotions. He relived the scene with his parents over and over in his mind. The thought of his mother's pain was the worst. He knew how much she loved him. At times he had felt suffocated by her but he loved her dearly and the thought of her distress caused him deep shame. He prayed daily that his family would one day understand.
There was however a big weight that had been lifted from his shoulders, being with Christian felt natural and right. They settled easily into each other's company. Christian was so blatantly happy to have Syed there, every day,at last, that Syed couldn't help but be infected by it. They laughed a lot even though Syed felt a great deal of loss and grief. Their lovemaking was, if anything, more intense, but they were less frenzied, more gentle and careful with each other. It was early days and Christian knew it would take some time for Syed to relax and accept this new life and new sense of identity. Christian surprised himself with the depth of emotion he felt. He had never experienced anything like it before. It sobered him a little sometimes and he felt a new sense of purpose. For the first time in his life he wanted to make a home with someone. He remembered a conversation with James earlier that year. James had asked him what he had to show for his years and when Christian had talked about his flat and his business, James told him that whatever he had, it meant nothing without someone to share it with. He still felt guilty about James. He'd been a good friend.