Chapter 44
my fallen star

The bright sunlight was shining in my face. I slowly opened my eyes and looked next to me. I hoped to see Jacob sitting next to me, but he wasn't.
I sat up in my bed and stretched out my arms. Rosaline was in her bed next to me, still fast asleep. I looked at her, she looked so peaceful. The peace soon ended.
Rosaline started to gently hit her fist on the bed. The gentleness turned into pounding. She began to pound as hard as she could, scream and panting as she did so. I couldn't understand what was happen, my brain was just frozen.
I rushed over to her side and put my hand on her forehead. I had only seen her in this kind of pain once; when Jane was using her retched power on her.

"Rosaline! Rosaline, sweetheart, it's me Renesmee! Please wake up!" I shouted. I started shaking her shoulders.
She just wouldn't wake up.

"Rosaline! You're having a nightmare! Wake up!" she wouldn't wake though.
I looked around the room frantically, looking for any trace of Jane.
Nothing.
I continued to shake her and yell her name. Why weren't my parents coming? Did they not hear me?
Rosaline's eyes finally flew open. She was gasping for air and grabbing at the sheets.

"Are you alright?" I whispered.

She looked at me, horrified.

"I'm…Alright." She muttered.

"What were you dreaming?"

"It's nothing." She whispered. She looked down at her hands.

"It's okay, you can tell me."

"I was dreaming about Jane. It was so painful."

"It's okay, she's gone, she won't be back."

She nodded slowly and then looked up at me. Her expression was completely different.

"So what are you doing with Jacob today?" she asked cheerfully.

"I don't know; I just woke up."

She nodded again.

"I like Antoine better." She said.

"Why is that?" I tried to keep my voice casual.

"I don't know, he's nicer to me."

"What do you mean?"

"Jacob never wants to be around me. He always…leaves when I'm around."

"He likes you, Rosaline. Whatever made you think that?"

"I don't know. I just don't think he likes me."

"Well, wanna know a little secret?" I whispered.

"Yes!" she exclaimed.

"Okay, well, to werewolves, we stink; bad."

"Really? Why?"

"I don't know, it's just the way it is."

"He doesn't act like you stink though?"

"He can stand me."

"Why you and not us?"

"Cause; he loves me."

She nodded again, and then looked out the window. Her face was gentle and thoughtful.
The phone started ringing in the distance, I looked over at Rosaline.

"I'm going to go get that; be right back." I said as I got up off her bed and left the room.
I jogged to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Nessie!" Jacob's cheerful voice was on the other end.

"Hey, Jake." I giggled. Rosaline walked out of my room and made kissy noises at me.

"Shhh!" whispered to her.

"What?" he asked.

"No, it's nothing. It's Rosaline. Speaking of Rosaline, she got the craziest idea today."

"Oh yeah? What' was that?"

"She thinks you don't like her."

"Really? I do like her. She seems like a sweet girl. Tell her she was wrong."

"Okay, will do. So what's up?"

"Oh I was wondering if I could have my alone time today."

"Hmm, I don't know, what'd you have in mind?"

"Surprise," he said cheerfully.

"Well, is it casual or dressy?"

"Casual, I will tell you though, that you may need a bathing suit."

"Okay, what time and where should I meet you?"

"I'll pick you up at Carlisle's in…" his voice trailed off, probably checking a clock. "How about a half hour?"

"Sounds good, I'll see you then."

"Awesome,"

Something was going on the other end of the line.

"Hang on a minute, stay on the line." I made my way down the hall.

The only other phone we have in the house is the one in the guest room. It still struck me as odd that we didn't just make that Rosaline's room.
I went inside and there was the little eve's dropper.
I went back around the corner.

"So, Jacob, I have a little prank I think I want to play on Rosaline."

"Wait, what? Don't you think she's been through enough?"

"I don't know, what do you think the consequences to eves dropping should be?"

There was a gasp on the other end.

"Was that you, Renesmee?" Jacob asked.

"Nope, it's miss…" I jumped around the corner. "It's Miss Rosaline!" I screamed.

She hung up the phone and spun around. She let out a yelp and the darted for my room.

"Renesmee? Renesmee are you there?" Jacob's voice was confused and anxious.

"Yeah, I'm here. Geeze, first my family is obsessed with my choice and now Rosaline."

"Like I said, I'm not going to push you to choose me. I saw what that did to your mother."

"Again, thanks for that. Okay, well I'm going to go get ready. I'll see you later?"

"See you later."

We hung up the phone at the same time. I turned around, Rosaline wasn't to be found.

"Rosaline, I'm not angry, you can come out now." I called out.

She slowly emerged from my room, holding a teddy bear that my grandpa Charlie had gotten her.

"You sure?" she murmured.

"I'm sure, but you have to promise me that you won't listen to any of my conversations from now on. Promise?"

"I promise." She ran into my arms and hugged me. I picked her up and brought her to my room. I shut the door behind me and then set her on my bed.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" she asked.

"Actually, you know what? Why don't we talk about this later? I'm sure Charlie would like to spend some time with you."

"Okay."

I stood up from the bed and walked over to my desk. I picked up my cell phone and dialed my father.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hey, dad, I was wondering if you could come get Rosaline and have mom bring her to Grandpa Charlie's."

"Yeah, sure. Let me just ask your mother."

I waited.

"Yes, I'll be there in a little bit. Renesmee?"

"Hm?"

"Why can't you bring her?"

"Actually you know what? I could bring her to Carlisle's and then you could bring her to Charlie's."

"Going somewhere?"

"Yeah, I'm meeting Jacob at Carlisle's and then we're going out."

"That's nice dear."

"See you in a while."

"See you."

We hung up. I turned to Rosaline.

"I have to get ready." I walked over to the closet and opened it up.

Jacob said it would be a casual day and that I needed a bathing suit. I decided I'd go with some jean shorts and my flannel shirt with a tank top underneath.
I through my hair back into a messy pony tail. I turned to Rosaline.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

"Yup," she stood up off the bed and walked over to me.

We walked out of my room and left the house. I could tell she was excited when she ran, her face was always beaming. She hopped and skipped like a little feather.
When we got to the Cullens', she slowed to a stop. I walked her into the house.
Everyone was sitting around, laughing and having a good time. My mother and father were standing next to a couch, holding hands. Carlisle and Esme were sitting together along with Alice and Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett stood on the other side of the couch.

"Hey everyone." I greeted. They all nodded and smiled at me.

I walked over by my parents and stood next to them.

"Hey mom, can you run Rosaline over to grandpa's?" I asked.

"Why can't you? I'm sure Charlie would love to see you."

"I have a date with Jacob today, and I know for a fact that Charlie has been dying to see you. Why don't you spend the day with him mom?"

She nodded slowly, looking at my father. There was a loud knock on the door that made Rosaline jump.

"I'll go get that." I said happily.

I ran to the door to see who it was.
Jacob stood outside the door, his hands in his pockets. He rocked back and forth on his feet; wearing, of course, nothing but some shorts and sneakers.
I opened the door and gave him a hug.

"Hey there." I said.

"Let's go!" he said excitedly.

He walked me out to his car. He still had that old Rabbit. We both got in and buckled our seatbelts.

"You really need a new car, Jake."

"No way! The Rabbit's a classic. I can't get rid of it." He argued, patting the seat.

"I know, but mom said you've had that thing since before I was born!" I laughed.

"Yep," he sighed. "This thing's got a lot of memories."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

He was completely silent for a few moments.

"Uhh," he started laughing. "Okay, maybe not that many memories."

We laughed together.

"So, where are we going?" I finally asked.

"Surprise!" he shouted. "I can't tell you."

I sighed, disappointed.

"You're sure you're up to this?" he asked.

I looked at him puzzled.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You didn't seem like you got a goodnight's sleep."

"What makes you think that?"

"You were tossing and turning all night and talking furiously."

"What was I saying?"

"You were just pretty much saying how much of a hard time you were having…making this decision and all."

I nodded slowly.

"Well, I felt like I slept great; I was warm." I smiled at him.

He smiled to himself. I felt like I needed to desperately tell him how hard this was for me, but I knew in my heart that this was hard for him too.
If I didn't pick Jacob, I knew what I was sacrificing, I've seen my mother breakdown at times—not in front of my father—and it's terrible. I didn't want to be that way twenty years from now. I wanted to be happy, loved and loving.
I wanted to be married.
I looked out the window, anxiously awaiting my surprise. He wound through different roads; I was having a déjà voo moment. I felt like I've been down these roads before, like I was with him here too.
He was smiling with enthusiasm, grinning from ear to ear. His smile caused me to smile. I couldn't help but smile whenever Jacob was around; he was just a generally happy person.
His speed started to pick up when we turned a specific corner. I thought that maybe we were getting close to the surprise. I waited for him to slow down to a stop, but he didn't.
He continued to speed until he turned a different corner, then his speed began to ease. He slowed to a stop and I realized why I had déjà voo.

This was the place he had taken me before, the night when he snuck me out of the house very carefully. I don't know why he'd want to bring me back here…after all our night here ended in a bit of a sour note.
It was our own little hiding spot, just out of La Push. He stopped the car and smiled at me.
We got out of the car and walked to the front of it. We both sat on the front of it.

"Remember this?" he asked, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I do…but…" I trailed off.

"But…?"

"Well it's just that our night here ended a bit…sour."

"Yep, I know."

"Then why—"

"'Cause I want to make a good memory here."

I nodded and looked down at my feet. I didn't know what to say, I wanted to throw my arms around him and hold him close.
But before I knew it, I was over his shoulder and we were in the water. We stared at each other underwater for a long while. He held my face in his hands. He had to go up for air though, I went up with him. The sunlight was glistening on the water.

"I bet he can't do this with you." He whispered.

I looked up at him. He was right; Antoine couldn't be out in the sunlight with me.

We swam for hours, not saying anything. Mostly we just stared into each other's eyes. I could see how time has changed Jacob, his eyes are more wise and his face, though unchanged, is more…experienced. I could also see that he had no fight left in his heart, he'd been through enough with my mother and now I was doing the same to him. I instantly hated myself for that thought, I've been so selfish. I'm utterly ashamed of myself for how I have acted and I deserve neither of them. I looked into his eyes, struggling to look away.
He took my face in his hands and gently pressed his lips to mine. Our lips moved in a synchronized way that couldn't be compared to the way mine and Antoine's did. I pulled myself closer to him; I knew what I had to do now.

"I have to go home now." I breathed.

"Curfew?" he breathed.

"Mhm."

He let go of me and swept me into his arms. He carried me to the car and put me in. He was at his side in a short time, getting into the car and quickly starting it.
I looked over at him, trying to read his expression, I couldn't. He drove. his face dead and expressionless. The road wound in front of us, I knew that he was holding something back.

"I have to tell you something." He said, his speed slowing to a crawl.

"Yes?"

"I know more about Antoine than you think." He murmured.

"What do you mean?" I was extremely confused.

He took a deep breath and lifted his hand from the steering wheel, then clamped it back down.

"I have an open mind, Jake, please, tell me." I prompted.

"Okay," he took in another deep breath. "I know what happened to Rosaline."

I looked at him, my eyes widening in confusion.

"No one recognized the scent upstairs because it wasn't someone we know."

"Who—"

"It was a vampire that the Volturi created in order to go steal her."

He watched me, trying to gauge my reaction.

"How…why…How didn't Alice see—"

"It was a last minute decision."

I didn't say anything.

"They were careful of their decisions and they were careful with what they thought when they were in range of your father."

I was still silent.

"They destroyed him soon after they got her. I noticed Antoine's scent in the room because he had gotten some clothing of Rosaline's to give to the newborn in so that he would no where she was and if it was her."

I was frozen with anger, hate, and incredible passion at once. "I'm still confused about how…they pulled off the whole…Rosaline dead thing."

"None of us can figure that out."

"How do you know so much about this?"

"The pack and I have been tracking this situation."

"Wait…did you tell—"

"Your family?"

"Yes."

"Yes, I did."

"But they didn't—"

"Tell you, I know. We asked them not to."

"Why?"

"I knew how much you loved him, and I saw how much pain you were in when he left and when she disappeared. I couldn't put another weight on your shoulders. I was hoping he'd man up to it himself, but it seems as though he hasn't."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"I know I should have told you. I'm sorry."

"I love you." I whispered.

"What?"

"I love you, Jacob. That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me."

He looked at me. "I love you too."

We were on the road next to my house. I looked over at him, willing back the tears. He kissed me gently and gave me a small smile. I got out of the car and ran to my house. My parents were still at Carlisle's. I got into bed, I thought about this decision.
I drifted into an unconscious state. I knew at this point that I was dreaming.

I ran through the forest, completely lost. I was out of breath and began to panic, was I ever going to get out of here? I looked around for something, someone. Someone or something that was still unknown to me. I clutched my chest; it felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest. I fell to the ground and began hyperventilating. I knew I was going to die.
I blacked out.

"Renesmee, my love, Renesmee?" a voice called.

I could not open my eyes to see who it was.

"Renesmee, please, come back to me." The voice pleaded.

I opened my eyes, and he was there.

My eyes flew open, and I sat up. I got out of bed and dressed quickly. IT was time to make this decision.
I called Antoine and Jake and told them where to meet me. I ran out of the house, my parents knew automatically what was going to happen.

When I got to the meeting spot, it was mutual territory. I waited for them; each of them emerged from, opposite sides. The intensity of their stares was burning into my sides.
I took a deep breath and cringed. When I opened them, they both stood before me. Neither had readable expressions on their faces. I could feel the tears behind my eyes.

"You lied to me." I murmured, looking at Antoine.

He looked down. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry? That's all you have to say?"

He looked up at me, his expression pleading.

"Do you have any idea what you've put me through?"

"Renesmee, please, they forced me—"

"Oh save it." Jacob interrupted. His expression was furious.

"Excuse me?" Antoine asked, looking at Jacob.

"I know about everything, we've been tracking this and keeping watch on you and the Volturi. We know it all."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Renesmee, get out of here, you don't need to see this." Jacob ordered.

They looked as though they were going to lunge at each other. I threw myself in between them.

"Stop, Antoine, you've lied to me about this, what else are you lying about?"

"Go ahead; tell her, she has a right to know." Jacob said.

Antoine still didn't speak.

"He's come here to get rid of you." Jacob answered.

I stared at Antoine. "Is that true?"

"I'm so sorry." He murmured.

I shook my head. "I—I can't do this."

"Renesmee please—"

"No!" I exploded. "No, Antoine, I can't do this! I can't handle the lying and the—the—the manipulating!"

"I never manipulated you."

"You were sent here to kill me. Everything was a lie! Every kiss, every touch! IT was all a lie!" I paused. "And I was stupid enough to fall for it all." I said looking away.

"It wasn't—"

"No, I can't, leave now…or my father will take over."

"I love you, Renesmee."

"Prove it. Leave." I ordered quietly.

He stared at me, his face was hurt. He didn't argue though, and left silently. Though, something told me that that wasn't going to be the last I'd hear from him.
I turned to Jacob, his face was wary. I leaned into his chest, needing support. He held me tightly, comforting me. I looked up at him. His lips met mine. Our lips moved in synchronization, and I knew that right then in there, I'd made the right choice.

I looked up at Jacob; his eyes were triumphant and loving. He'd never hurt me, he'd never leave me. No one would ever love me like he loves me. I feel safe.
I feel as though my fate had been decided for me now. I have no choice, and I know he doesn't either. He says it's me…that I am designed for a specific person, that person being him. I am the only thing keeping him alive, the gravity holding him here.
Without me…he is nothing. And without him…I am nothing.

I stared up at Jacob.
My Jacob.
My Fallen Star.

*To those who have read this, thank you for your amazing support. You've kept me going on this and helped me along the way. Please know how much I appreciate you reading this.*

*P.S. I'd appreciate some feedback on my new story that has been posted.*

Once again, thank you so much.

Love

-Andrea