Chapter 8

AN: Thanks again for the reviews, you glorious people, you! As for the story, oh boy... there is a lot going on here...

Penelope stood there, swaying into Derek, swallowing his moans along with her own. His hands were in her hair, his mouth slanted over hers, and she couldn't see or feel anything but him. Good Lord, could the man kiss! It was incredible, the feelings surging throughout her body. She leaned towards him, reaching her hands up to cup his head, to draw him closer, his tongue deeper. She was on the verge of devouring him like she truly wanted to, when he drew back suddenly, breaking the kiss.

"So, how does my kiss compare with Reid's?"

She felt her gut hit the floor and a wave of nausea swept over her. It was a cold, ugly, jealous thing to say, and it hurt. It made her feel like a tramp, like she'd switch from man to man. Without thinking, she reached a hand up and slapped him hard, and then turned to leave.

Derek reached for her waist, slamming her back into his body. She could feel his hot breath scalding the side of her neck. "Look at the damn door, Penelope. Reid is leaving with Crystal."

A chill ran down her body at what she'd just done. She looked over at the table where the rest of the team sat, staring at them with open mouthed amazement. She flushed, feeling absolutely ill. She bit her knuckle nervously.

"Oh, God, Derek," she moaned, her stomach flipping. She was going to vomit, she knew it.

He gripped her upper arm in his large hand and dragged her back to the table. "P is feeling sick. I'm taking her home."

JJ thrust Pen's purse at Derek. "Go."

Once outside, the cold air helped calm her stomach. He opened the door to his truck and helped her in. She was heartbroken over what she'd done to poor Reid. She was supposed to be helping him, and she threw herself at Derek instead because she couldn't control herself. It undermined everything they worked for.

He would never forgive her, and she didn't deserve his forgiveness. She should've stayed away from Derek, should've said she sprained her ankle or something. Anything but be near him.

"Feeling better?" he asked, never looking away from the road. "You looked pretty green there."

"I'm fine," she said, lying.

They drove in silence for a long while before Derek sighed heavily. "Listen. I know it's too little, too late, but I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry. I'm sure Reid will forgive you. I jumped at the chance and made you kiss me."

She scowled. "I kissed you back. It was just as much my fault."

"No, I initiated it," he retorted, sounding somewhat angry again. "I'll tell your little boy toy, and he'll forgive you."

She glared at his non-smiling profile. "You let me fix it with my boyfriend, mister. It's my job. You fix it with Crystal ."

"There's nothing to fix with Crystal," he said flatly. "If I'm dating a woman, I don't go kissing another woman in front of her. I'm a player, not a cad."

"Oh, and I'm the type who would kiss you, then go be with Reid?" she asked, her back up from the apparent insult.

"Hush," he said, pulling in front of her place. He turned to look at her. "Damn it. I can barely talk to you anymore. You should know I didn't mean it that way."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "How did you mean it?"

"I meant that I am exclusive, even with my player reputation, when I am dating someone." He smirked a little at her. "I'm speaking for myself, only, not putting words in your mouth. I don't fool around, even when the woman is as irresistible as you."

She took the compliment in, but was still confused. "Then why did you do it?"

"I was jealous, okay?" He sighed and looked away from her. "You danced with Reid, and I wanted to dance with you. For years I've wanted to dance with you, P, and when it finally happened, I couldn't help myself." His voice was just above a whisper when he said, "I got carried away."

"I did, too," she answered softly.

He looked back at her, like he wanted her to repeat what she just said. However, a moment later, his mouth tightened and he looked out the front window, away from her. "Well, I was wrong to get carried away. You really care for Reid. You slapped me, you were sick that he left you with me; it's obvious you want to be with Reid."

"What about Crystal?" she retorted. "Don't you want to be with Crystal ?"

"I already told you; it's done with Crystal. There was nothing there to begin with, anyway."

"What?"

"I don't want to talk about that; I've said too much already," he snapped, scowling. He took a deep breath, like he was trying to control his thinking. A moment later, he sighed and said, "Look. I kissed you, I initiated it, I take responsibility. I'm the one that started it, not the other way around. This wasn't your fault. I lost control. I let it get out of hand, and I'm sorry."

"That doesn't exclude that I kissed you back, Derek," she answered, feeling somewhat confused. There was so much to be confused about. What was he trying to say? He wanted it, but he was sorry he did it?

"I took advantage of you; there is no doubt of that. I wanted it so badly," he said, sounding as miserable as she felt. " I put everything I had into that, but I know now I was wrong to do it.

He paused for a second, looking sadder than she'd ever seen him look before. "You'll have your Reid. He's a good guy; I know why you want him. He's likable. Fuck, I like him." He tried to smile at her, a glimpse of her best friend coming back. "I'll make it better, baby. He'll understand."

It took her a second to really listen to what he was saying. He lost control, he wanted it, he initiated it, he let it get out of hand. It sounded completely like he didn't think she wanted anything to do with him. The man was absolutely dense. How could he think she could go from moaning in his arms to not wanting him at all?

She participated in that kiss, if he liked it or not.

It hit her then. This wasn't a tease or a thrill; this was Derek, baring his soul to her and thinking she didn't want him. Not only that, he loved her enough he wanted to give her what would make her happy, even if he was miserable. He had it so confused, so mixed up, like she did for so long.

Not anymore.

She wanted him, and she knew he wanted her. She wasn't about to let him back away from that.

She needed a few questions answered, and the first one was the most important to her at the moment. "Derek?"

"What?" he growled.

"You said you really wanted to, more than anything." She caught his eyes. "Do you still?"

His brows knit in confusion. "Do I still what?"

"Do you still want to kiss me?"