Author's Note: So I decided to upload this chapter cuz I'm pretty sure that I'm sure I want to go in this direction with the story, and it's like 1:30 in the morning, haha, so I just want to be finished with this part. But I've been going back and forth on some of the dialogue, so I'm not 100% happy with the chapter, and might re-upload it later. Let me know what you think!

Also, thanks so much for the reviews! I really appreciate the feedback-and thanks applemysteries for letting me know what lines worked. I'm still trying to get a handle on the dialogue-I guess I never really appreciated how many references and creatively-phrased jokes Joss & Co. inserted into the dialogue...

[Scene: It's the next morning. Buffy is at the island in the kitchen, eating breakfast. Willow sluggishly walks in, looking beat]

Buffy: (perky) Rough night?

Willow: You could say that. Remind me not to eat jello ever again. Sure, it looks all innocent and jiggly. But ten shots later you're dancing on a table and making out with…with…with people you don't remember.

Buffy: Next time don't eat the jello.

Willow: Thanks. Hey, what happened with you last night? I was worried when I got your call.

Buffy: Just a little commotion in the graveyard. Nothing I couldn't handle.

Willow: Guess not. You seem rather "glowy" this morning.

Buffy: What? No.

Willow: Why'd you go out there anyway?

Buffy: I dunno. (reflective)…maybe I just wanted to remind myself of what it was like.

Willow: I'm starting to think this is going to be a recurring theme.

Buffy: What do you mean?

Willow: (she pauses for a long moment, hesitant to respond) Buffy…I hate to say this, but…the only two times I've seen you happy in the last month were after you slayed something large and bumpy. (Pauses before continuing) I'm starting to think…you've been so unhappy lately because you stopped roughing up vamps.

Buffy: (looks at her in shock) What? Will, come on. That's stupid.

Willow: Look at you. You're all bright and smiley this morning. Unless Kevin finally lit up your life last night, I'm guessing it was the slayage.

Buffy: (freaked out by the implication, she responds, semi-coldly) Listen, I can't talk about this now. I have to get to work.

(Buffy puts her bowl in the sink and leaves the kitchen)

Willow: Buffy, I didn't mean…Buffy!

[Scene: Late the same day. We see Buffy coming upstairs to the second floor of her house after work. She enters the guest/Dawn's bedroom, which is adjacent to hers. The shades are all down and the room is dark. Spike is sitting on the floor with his back against the front of the bed, playing solitaire]

Buffy: Hey.

(She approaches Spike)

Spike: (smiles) Come to boot me out?

(Spike looks up and notices that Buffy is somber)

Spike: You all right love?

(Buffy sits down on the edge of the bed)

Buffy: If by all right you mean lost and slumpy, then yes.

Spike: Slumpy?

Buffy: Remember how I said I was trying the 'normal life' approach? Yeah, well that hasn't been working out so well.

Spike: Course not.

Buffy: I mean I thought—wait, did you just say "of course not?"

Spike: What? Don't tell me you thought this little experiment as Mrs. Dalloway would work.

(Spike sees Buffy look at the ground, tacitly acknowledging that she did. Spike rolls his eyes and gets up off the floor to sit next to Buffy on the bed)

Spike: Buffy you're the slayer. Fighting demons is what you do.

Buffy: (Raising her voice) That's not true. (Quietly) Not anymore.

Spike: What do you call this then pet? A friendly discussion?

Buffy: Yeah well arguing with vampires isn't quite the same thing.

(Buffy gets up, walks a few feet away from him)

Buffy: Slaying meant that I put myself, put my friends, in danger every day. If I have a choice between that and a regular life…

Spike: It isn't just a job, it's a part of you. Thought you'd figured that out by now.

(Buffy turns around to face him)

Buffy: Like you're the king of self-reflection.

Spike: Buffy, sooner or later you're going to suss out that teaching a bunch of poofters how to fight isn't the same as joining the fight yourself.

(He pauses)

Spike: Besides, you've never been a quitter. That's what…(smiles, and says quietly, looking at the ground)…that's what I love about you. (Changing tone) Look, you don't want to listen to me? Fine. I'll get out of your hair. (He gets up, puts on his duster) Should be some baddies out now.

(Spike leaves the room, Buffy lingers)

(Cut to Spike leaving the house. He storms down the street. Willow, coming from the other direction, sees him leaving)

[Scene: Willow enters the house. Buffy walks down the front stairs from the second floor, looking solemn.]

Buffy: Hey Will.

Willow: Hi

(Buffy sits down on one of the steps)

Buffy: Sorry about earlier.

Willow: Let's just forget about it. (pauses) Hey, is there any ice cream left?

Buffy: I think you were right…about me.

Willow: No, no I…I didn't know what I was talking about. It's the Xander-withdrawal, it's making me all wonky.

Buffy: (smiles sadly) Have you heard from him lately?

Willow: Um, yeah. (Willow sits down next to Buffy on the stairs) He sent me an email, said he might even come visit. Apparently he and Giles got into some philosophical argument about vengeance demons and Giles is making him to take a vacation.

Buffy: A vacation? Wait, why didn't I ever get one of those?

Willow: He asked about you and Dawnie too. He was wondering if you were still acting all lone ranger-y…I didn't know what to tell him.

Buffy: It was just two vampires. I think I've had my fill.

Willow: No not that. He wanted to know if you still pulled the super self-reliance act…if you, you know…still kept things from us.

(Buffy looks down, guilty)

Willow: But I said you totally wouldn't. That you didn't isolate yourself anymore…and that if you ever ran into a dead bleach-blonde ex-boyfriend you wouldn't be afraid to tell us

(Buffy looks up, shocked that Willow knows)

Willow: I saw him leaving the house. Buffy…why didn't you tell me?

Buffy: (sighs) I don't know—

Willow: …I mean, how is it even possible? I thought he died in the Hellmouth.

Buffy: (solemnly) He did.

Willow: Then how—

Buffy: He doesn't know. One minute he was in the Hellmouth, the next…Angel's office.

Willow: Angel?

Buffy: Apparently they even worked together after he came back.

Willow: (shocked) Without killing each other? …Whoa. That had to be an…intense partnership.

Buffy: Yeah…sometimes I think about the two of them, fighting each other…all oily….(snapping out of it) I mean, um, you know, in a strictly professional sense… (totally embarrassed) Um, I think I should go clean the kitchen or something.

(Buffy starts to get up but Willow tugs at her arm and sits her back down)

Willow: Hold on a second crazy oil lady.

(Buffy pauses for a moment to collect herself and sighs heavily)

Buffy: Okay, I didn't tell you because…(long pause) Before the final battle with the First…Spike and I…we got…close. (changing her tone) I mean, he fought side by side with all of us. And I've been trying to figure out how I feel, with him being back.

Willow: And…Is the verdict in yet?