Chapter Eleven
Where's My Jacob Black?
I opened my eyes and felt of my face. It was confirmed. I had awakened Sunday morning with the biggest smile spread across my face and the reason for it had to be, Jake. It felt so good to be alive again and feel the way I was feeling about him.
Last night, sitting with him on his bed and looking through his pictures—his memories really, had made me realize again how much he meant to me. I had truly, irrevocably, undeniably, fallen in love with my best friend. There was no need to deny it any longer so I just smiled and accepted the fact.
My day was filled with cooking and working around the house. I wanted to make some things for later in the week, so I began with a meat loaf, a chicken and rice dish, and a pot of chili. I really didn't want to have to worry about cooking every night this week. I knew I would be anxiously awaiting next Saturday and my date with Jake.
After we had eaten dinner that night, I cleaned the kitchen, and took a shower. I hadn't heard from Jake all day, but I knew he was either busy working on an automobile, or trying to get through to Embry. But apparently he was thinking about me, because not long after I got ready for bed, he called so I took the phone to my room as I stretched out over my bed.
"Jake, how are things today? Have you talked with Embry?" were the first questions I asked.
He had finally talked with him for just a few minutes and he seemed better, Jake said, but he still wasn't himself. He said they weren't able to finish talking because Sam, Paul, and Jared came up and told Embry they had to go. He told me that Sam just kept looking at him, like he wanted to say something, or wanted Jake to bow down to him or something.
I tried to get Jake's mind off of Sam and the others by changing the subject and telling him how much I enjoyed him sharing his photos with me last night. He said he had more and that someday we would go through those as well. We talked for over an hour and finally had to give up each other's company, so we could go to bed.
The next day was a rainy, cold day and I really wanted to just stay in bed. But Charlie wouldn't have it as he called for me to get up for the second time, before he left for work. I managed to dress, get ready, and grab a bite on the way out the door.
When I went into school, I headed straight for the restroom, to try and comb through my hair, which had gotten wet coming into the building. I had forgotten to wear my hoodie under my jacket so my book was my umbrella and it didn't work very well.
"Hey Bella. Looks like you got drenched this morning too," Angela said from behind me as she bounced into the restroom too.
"Yeah. Why couldn't we just stay in bed on days like today?" I groaned.
"Oh well, I guess that's life for you," she said laughing.
We both walked back out of the restroom and were on our way to our lockers when Mike appeared from nowhere. Actually, I could have sworn he was waiting outside girls' bathroom and around the corner. Angela quickly excused herself, even though I was giving her the silent, 'please don't leave' lip movements.
"Hey Arizona. Why did you let it rain today? It's got me feeling blue."
"Oh. Um, well...sorry? I guess," I said, still working my way to my locker.
"But I know what would make me feel so much better."
"What?" I asked, absentmindedly.
"Why don't you go out with me this Saturday?" he asked, leaning against the locker next to mine, trying his best to look all macho. I wanted to laugh so badly.
"Mike. I, um.....sorry, but I can't this weekend. I've already made plans to go to the movies with a friend. We're going to Port Angeles on Saturday night to catch a movie. Sorry," I said, as I closed my locker door and tried to weasel out of the conversation and the whole going out with him thing.
"A friend, huh? Port Angeles, you say? Okay. Well there's always another time. Right?"
"Um, sure. Hey, I have to get to class. I'll see you around," I said, dashing into my home room as we approached.
When was he going to get the picture that I didn't want to go out with him? Did I have to actually say no? I shuddered at the thought of having to do that, but I had other things, or should I say someone else to think about.
The day was long and tedious and I was so glad to see three-thirty and even happier, knowing I already had food prepared at home, so all I had to do was heat it up and make a salad.
I started my homework when I got home and had it finished by the time Charlie got in. After we ate, I went upstairs and lay down on my bed to peruse my book about the Quiluetes. Upon opening it, I went to the section about the wolf legend and began reading it again.
As I read, I noticed that there seemed to be some gaps in the information about what actually happened to the young warrior when he transformed, so I began cross referencing the book, looking through the different chapters, reading parts that referred back to the transformation.
Then I came to a poem that I must have overlooked before when reading the book, or thought that it didn't make any sense, but now it seemed to jump right out at me so I read it twice.
The first time was the worst,
My body wracked with pain.
I knew not what was happening,
I had no words to explain.
Great One please help me,
Please hear your Native son,
Take from me that which has begun,
For I am not the chosen one.
But pleading did not cease the battle,
That raged deep within,
As fur soon replaced my skin,
I was no longer the man I once had been.
My mind began to wonder, as I dwelt on the meaning of the poem and I felt sorry for the young warrior who had written it, but couldn't seem to keep my thoughts from going back to the cold ones. I read about them again and a shiver ran up my spine as I realized that what the book said was actually true. I had seen it with my own eyes, felt it with my touch, and even thought I was in love with one of them.
So did this mean that the werewolves, those that transformed were real too? I was trying to go over it all again in my mind, when the phone rang and I heard my dad calling me from downstairs.
I ran down, retrieved the phone, and went back upstairs to talk with Jake. He told me he had a busy day, he had two tests, and had to read a chapter for tonight's homework, so he couldn't talk long. He said things were about the same with Embry, but that he was back at school today and that he just kept to himself and wouldn't talk to anyone.
This worried us both and we went through every possible scenario but came up with nothing substantial to support why he was behaving so oddly. I even entertained the idea that it might have something to do with the legend, but quickly dismissed it and didn't even mention it to Jake. I didn't want him to think I was crazy.
After I got off the phone with Jake, I took a shower and climbed into bed. My mind was still going over the possibility that the werewolves were real when I fell asleep. That night I had a very unusual dream. I could see Sam in the distance, as the mist rose up in the forest, partially hiding me from view.
He was talking with someone or something, but I was never able to see clearly what it was. I watched and listened, but could never hear his voice, only see his lips moving. Then, as if he had heard me breathing, he turned and looked right at me.
I remember being frightened and turning to run, only to run right into Jake, then I woke up. My alarm clock was going off, signaling the beginning of yet another day of school. But it was hard to put that dream out of my thoughts as I went about my day. I had a cold chill every time I thought about the look on Sam's face and the way Jake was looking at me.
The day was busy with normal classes and an assembly. We had a speaker and a presentation that lasted almost an hour and I had the good fortune of Mike finding me and sitting beside me the entire time. He offered a few whispers of small talk now and then, but I would remind him that we needed to be quite out of courtesy, so he soon stopped trying.
Angela had been watching and was there to rescue me when the assembly was over, as she drug me to our last class. I offered her my thanks and told her I owed her big time now for saving me. She said I could always pay her back by telling her who I had been thinking about—the one that was making me smile, but I blushed and again told her I didn't know what she was talking about.
That afternoon, Angela and I went to the library and I returned some books and picked up a couple of new ones. I thought with the day being dreary it would be a good day to settle in early with a new book.
After Charlie and I ate the meatloaf I had prepared on Sunday, and I had cleaned the kitchen, I went upstairs, got ready for bed early and climbed under the covers to start reading. By nine o'clock, I still hadn't heard from Jake and was beginning to wonder why he hadn't called.
I made my way back downstairs and called him.
"Hello, Billy. May I speak to Jake? Oh, okay. Well will you tell him that I've called? Okay, you too. Goodnight."
I hung the phone up and leaned against the counter. Billy said Jake was not there, but was at Embry's house and he didn't know what time he would be back. I thought that was odd considering it was a school night, but I knew he was probably trying to talk with Embry, so I went on to bed, trying not to worry.
When I woke up the next morning, I had a strange feeling like something might be wrong. I mean, Jake never called and I was now starting to be concerned. All day, I kept thinking about the book, the legends, the strange things going on in La Push, and Jake.
As soon as school was over, I climbed in my truck and debated on going to see Jake. It was after all Wednesday and he probably would expect me to come down to have my truck checked, but I hadn't heard from him last night, so I didn't know whether I should go.
I was already on my way home, when I made the split second decision to go to La Push. It couldn't hurt, I thought, and if Jake wasn't there, I could just check in with Billy and he could tell Jake I had stopped by. But my hopes were that he was there and I could see him for just a little while before going home to do my homework and warm up dinner for Charlie.
As I pulled up to the familiar little red house, things looked normal, but I still couldn't shake this unusual feeling I had, like something was going on. I climbed out of my truck, I shoved the thoughts to the back of my mind and walked around to Jake's garage. It was empty, so I slowly walked back toward the house and walked up on the front porch so I could knock on the door. I heard Billy say for me to come on in, so I opened the door and went inside.
"Hey Billy. I just stopped by to check in with Jake. Is he around?"
"Well, he and Quil went over to Embry's house a while ago, but I think they should be back any time. Why don't you have a seat while you wait on them?"
So I sat down and talked with Billy for over a half hour and was just about ready to leave when I heard the sound of footsteps on the front porch. I stood up as the door opened and in walked Jake and Quil.
Jake walked over to me and gave me his smile then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. It felt so good to be in his arms, even if it was just for a few moments. I pulled away, knowing Billy and Quil were watching, but I could feel Jake's hesitancy in letting me go.
"Hey Bella, how's it going?" Quil asked, as he walked into the living room.
"Good thanks," I said to Quil, giving him a little wave as I leaned around Jake, then I looked up at Jake, " Hello Jake. Um, Jake, I know it's only been a few days since I saw you last, but have you gotten taller?"
"I don't know. I was hoping you'd come down today," he said, still smiling at me, "you want to go down to the beach?"
"Sure," I said, turning to Billy, "thanks for letting me hang out here Billy. I had a nice time visiting," I said, as Jake took my hand and we started walking out the door, but just as we reached it Jake turned to Quil and said, "come on man, you're going too," then he winked at me.
We all three walked toward the beach. I thought I understood why Jake was having Quil tag along and it was because he didn't want to just leave him hanging there with Billy. They had been together every day since Embry's sudden illness and each of them was trying to keep the others spirts up.
Jake held my hand and Quil walked just a few feet away from me.
"Have you guys gotten any new news on Embry?" I asked glancing over at Quil.
"Nah. He's been back at school and we've gone to his house a few times, but he's just different. It's like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders and that's not good for him. He's always been the sensitive type, you know he holds things inside and doesn't talk about them, but this thing, whatever the hell it is, has got him even more closed off than before. Not even me or Jake can reach him. It's like he can't be around us, not like he doesn't want to be," Quil said, in a sudden outburst of emotional discussion.
As we neared the shoreline and the driftwood tree Jake and I called our own, Jake backed me up to his chest and wrapped his arms around me. He bent down near my ear and whispered, "I really needed to hold you today. Thanks for coming."
I was a bit worried about his mood, he seemed to be melancholy, and as he held me I could definitely tell he had grown at least two inches since Saturday. How that was possible, I didn't know, and I also noticed, as I snuggled up to him, that his chest was broader and felt more defined and muscular than it had before and his T-shirt was stretched tight over his bulky frame. But I didn't say anything, I just let him hold me while we watched Quil skip stones.
We had been at the beach for about thirty minutes, when we heard the sound of a wolf howling in the distance. I looked from Quil to Jake and back to Jake several times, watching their expressions and I could see that they were visibly altered by the sound. They looked more alert and kept watching toward the forest, near the ocean, where the sound had come from. It just gave me cold chills and I pushed into Jake's embrace even more.
Quil went to sit down on the faded branches of the tree, so I motioned for Jake and I to join him. I thought about trying to start up a conversation, but didn't know exactly what to say, considering the somber mood, but then an idea popped into my head.
"Quil, so tell me. Do you have a girlfriend?"
He looked up at me and I could swear he was blushing. It took him a couple of minutes to compose a reply.
"No...not right now. I'm sort of in between," he said, looking down at the sand.
This was my opportunity to try and liven up our little group, so I jumped up and popped him on the arm, as I yelled "tag you're it," and started running letting my voice carry on the afternoon sea breeze, "what's the matter? The big bad Quil hasn't snagged a new girl yet?"
It didn't take him long to catch me and pick me up, tossing me over his shoulder. He was tickling me relentlessly as he ran back to where Jake was at, laughing at my antics.
"I believe this would be yours," he said, as he deposited me on the sand in front of Jake," and fell down a few feet from me on his back in the sand.
Jake came over and plopped down beside me before saying, "I hope she is," then he too started tickling me and before long we were all three laughing so hard that we could hardly breathe.
We had just begun to catch our breath, when the sound of the lonely wolf reverberated again through the air. It immediately brought the uneasiness we had felt earlier, back again and we all got quite, just laying there on the sand.
"Jake, I don't want to leave, but I have to get back home. Do you want to look at my tr....."
"You know I always want to look at it. It keeps me close to you," he said, softly, then got up and helped me up off the sand.
Quil sprang up too, and we all walked back toward Jake's house. When we got back to my truck, he jumped inside and pulled it around to his garage. He and Quil gave it a quick going over, and announced that it was in good working order, before closing the hood.
"Hey, I'm going in to get a drink. Bella, I'll see you around. And, I won't forget your little joke back there," he said, ruffling my hair as he walked out of the garage.
This left Jake and I alone. He walked over to his toolbox and pulled out a crumpled brown paper bag, opened it, and pulled out two cans of soda. He popped both tops on the cans and offered me one then held his up as if to propose a toast.
"Here's to the truck, my baby, and us," he said, as he tapped my can with his, then put his to his mouth and drank the entire thing in about two gulps.
I felt a lump in my throat at his sweet gesture and found it difficult to swallow much of mine, so I just sipped on it as I watched him crush his can.
"Thanks Jake. I can't wait for Saturday night. I'm really looking forward to it," I said, trying to clear my throat and hide the emotion in my voice.
"Oh, guess what? My dad said that because it's a special occasion, he's letting me drive to Forks to pick you up. He said he hoped Charlie would let me off if he caught me, considering I was on my way to pick up his daughter for our first date."
I'm sure my face was red, it felt flushed as I found myself smiling from ear to ear. He moved over to me close to me and ran his hand over my cheek, as if to smooth the crimson away.
"I'd like that," I whispered.
"Yeah, me too. I'll be there at five o'clock sharp, so we can have time to grab a bite before the seven-thirty movie. Is that okay?"
"Sure. I'll be the one standing on my front porch waiting on my carriage," I said, nestling into the palm of his hand that was still against my face.
"Then I'll be the one driving your carriage my lady," he said, as he bent down and gently kissed me.
"I better go. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
"I'll try to call you tomorrow night," he said, as he walked me to my truck.
He held the door open for me and I climbed inside and he held his and up to the glass after he had closed the door. I pressed my hand to his, cranked my truck, and backed out. It would be a long trip back home this time because I didn't want to leave him behind.
The next two days went by without incident. I talked with Jake every night and by Saturday morning, I was full of anticipation about what would happen in just a few hours. I spent my day doing the necessary chores around the house, then took a nice long hot shower late afternoon, so I would be refreshed and ready when Jake arrived.
I had told my dad goodbye and that we would be home no later than eleven. He wanted Jake to come in when he got there, but I told him I needed to be standing on the porch waiting on him as sort of a promise. So, after he let me have my little moment of seeing Jake drive up in my carriage, he walked out to the car to greet him.
"So, you're taking my little girl out on a date are you? Well I expect you to be a gentleman," he teased, as Jake climbed out of the Rabbit.
"Charlie. You know I'm always a gentleman. Don't worry. I'll take good care of her. I promise," he said as he slid his arm around my shoulder and kissed me on the temple.
"Okay, you two have fun and drive carefully," Charlie said, patting the hood of Jake's car.
"We will dad," I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek, then Jake helped me in the car and closed the door.
He smiled and whispered something to my dad as he walked back around and they both started laughing. I didn't even want to know what that was all about, I was just ready to have Jake all to myself for the night.
As we drove, Jake took my hand and lay it on my lap holding it while we he drove. He felt a little warmer than usual, but I just attributed it to the excitement of the night.
"So, where would you like to eat Bells? I don't know about you, but I'm starving," he said, giving me a sideways smile.
"I don't know. How about a place with hamburgers and shakes?"
"That sounds great to me. I think I know a place. My dad and I have been there a couple of times when we've had to go to Port Angeles."
So we drove until we got into town and Jake wove through the streets until we pulled up in front of a quaint, little restaurant that was built like an old diner from the 50's. It was shiny and metallic silver on the outside with lots of neon lights all around in the shape of burgers, malts, fries, onion rings, and ice cream cones. It looked like a fun place to eat.
We went inside and found a booth and Jake slid in across from me. He grabbed a menu and started eyeing the selection, while I eyed him. He looked different tonight, sitting there under the bright lights, like he had aged some just since Wednesday. But he looked really nice tonight, wearing a new black T-shirt and jeans with his hair pulled back and tied behind his neck.
He looked up to find me gawking and I quickly looked at my menu. But not before I caught the smile and chuckle that came from him as he shook his head and looked back down at his menu.
"I think I'll have the triple burger, fries, and a milkshake. What about you, Bells?"
"I'll have the small burger and a chocolate malt," I said, closing my menu.
The waitress came over to take our order and Jake was the gentleman as ordered for both of us. Then he reached across the table and opened his hands up wanting me to give him mine, which I did. He held them on the table while we talked about what we had done today and what we had planned for tomorrow. Then we looked around at the various people in the diner and wondered where they were from.
When our food arrived, we began getting it ready to eat and Jake was trying to move his shake when it slipped and spilled in his seat. He looked mortified and I could tell it made him angry that it had happened. He tried to wipe it up the best he could but it was slowing seeping toward where he was sitting.
"Jake, it's okay. We can just get another one."
"No, we can't. I've been saving up money for tonight for weeks and I only had enough for dinner, popcorn, and the movie," he said, looking down at the mess.
It made my heart hurt seeing him so upset and disappointed, so I offered him my malt, but he turned me down, then I offered to buy him another one, but he refused. I saw that nothing seemed to ease his stress so I reached over and touched his arm, "Jake, come sit by me and we'll share mine," I said, with a soft smile.
He seemed to calm down some and must have liked the idea, because he was sitting next to me within minutes, wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulled me up close to him, and gave me a kiss on the side of my head, as he whispered, "thanks Bells."
So we sat there eating our meal and sharing my chocolate malt. It was actually very romantic as we both sipped from our straws, laughing and looking into each other's eyes. I had no problem at all being this close to him.
When we had finished and paid, Jake helped me out of the booth and we walked back out to his car, but before he shut my door he leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said, "after the movie, we'll go for a nice drive and have that talk."
My heart skidded to a stop then sped back up again as I remembered what I wanted to say to him a week ago, but he had asked me to wait. I wondered too, what he was going to say and even thought about asking to skip the movie so we would have more time to talk, but I knew he had made all of these plans, so I wanted to stick to them, not wanting anything else to go wrong tonight.
The theater was just a few blocks away and we had just enough time to get our tickets and go inside.
The lights were still on in the theater when Jake and I went in to find our seats. He said he needed a tub of popcorn and asked if I wanted anything, saying he would be back in a few minutes.
I sat there looking around at the couples scattered around the theater and I felt a few butterflies dance in my stomach and I smiled to myself because this was mine and Jake's first real date. We were one of the couples too.
I heard a shuffling sound to my right and turned to see Mike Newton standing there, grinning like a cat that just ate the canary.
"Mike, what are you doing here?" I asked, not even trying to hide my shock and disbelief that he was standing right there beside me.
"Well. You said you were going to the movies with a friend, so I thought I would see if you ladies wanted some company," he said, with a cocky grin on his face.
He had just sat down when Jake started making his way back to me down the isle. He was about to sit down, when he noticed Mike staring at me and probably saw my face paler than usual. Jake handed me a drink and looked at Mike with a confused look on his face, then looked back at me.
"Thanks Jake, um....this.....is um Mi....ke Newton. He goes to my school," I said, pointing to Mike.
Jake knew the name all too well, considering I had mentioned him a few times, but when I spoke the name this time, I saw a flash of anger cross his face.
"And, um, Mike this is Jacob Black, my um...da...te," I said, looking over at Mike.
He stood up and measured up to Jake before offering him his hand saying, "oh shit," under his breath, as Jake grabbed his hand and I'm sure applied much more force than was necessary. If I hadn't been so disappointed that Mike was there, it would have probably been very funny, but I was not happy at all.
"So, do you play football?" Mike asked, trying to remove his hand from Jake's grip.
"No I lift cars for recreation and you?" Jake said, with a sarcastic tone.
Mike just mumbled something about him playing football then sat back down beside me. What, I thought? You have got to be kidding me. Why was he still here? I mean, granted it was a public theater and all, but under the circumstances wouldn't the guy get the hint and leave? No, apparently he didn't get the hint.
Jake sat down beside me and I could see him gritting his teeth. I mouthed the words, "I'm sorry, I didn't know he was going to show up here," but it didn't seem to phase Jake, he was visibly upset.
The lights began to dim and I felt like I was trapped between two testosterone overloads and I knew if something didn't happen fast it was going to be a long miserable two hours. I reached over to try and take Jake's hand, but he was tense and didn't seem to respond. So I crossed my arms over my chest and sat there brooding.
Approximately forty-five minutes into the movie, I couldn't take it anymore so I said rather loudly, to whomever was listening, that I needed to go to the restroom, got up squeezing between Jake's legs and the seat in front of him and made my way to the outer isle.
I went to the ladies room not knowing what to do to salvage the evening. I had so been looking forward to being with Jake alone and then this had to happen. After washing my hands and blotting my face with a damp paper towel, I emerged from the restroom.
Jake was standing just outside the door, arms folded over his chest, harboring a very strange look on his face. He seemed to be looking off in space and wasn't even focused on me so I reached out and touched his arm, trying to get his attention.
When I touched his skin, however, I pulled my hand back as fast as lightening. He was burning up, even hotter than Embry had been a week or so ago. I was frantic to know what was going on inside of him and if he was okay.
"Jake. You're so hot," I said, looking up into his dark brown eyes with concern.
He gave me a cocky half grin and met my gaze.
"You apparently didn't think I was hot enough for you if you brought that joker on our date," he said, his words again laced with sarcasm.
"Jake. I didn't bring him. He asked me earlier in the week to go out with him and I told him I had plans and that I was going to the movies here in Port Angeles with a....a....friend. That's all that was said and I thought that I made it clear that I wasn't interested in his offer. And what do you mean I don't think you're hot? I happen to think you are very hot, but right now I'm referring to your physical well being because your skin is burning up," I replied, offering a pleading look.
"You do?"
"I do what? What is going on Jake?"
But before I knew what was happening he had taken me by the hand and was leading me around the corner to a dead end hallway. He leaned me against the wall and placed his hands beside me on the wall leaning down until he was just inches away from my face.
"So you really think I'm hot?
"Ye....s, I....do," I said, stammering.
"What about him? He's always asking you out so maybe you'd rather be with him than me?"
"Jake, Mike is a nice guy, in his own way, but you are what's important to me. You're my best friend."
"Is that all I am to you? Do you know how I feel about you?" he asked, leaning in further so that his lips were almost on mine.
His heat was stifling and beads of perspiration began forming on my forehead being this close to him. I was worried, this wasn't how Jake normally behaved, but I didn't know what to do. I placed my hand against his chest, just as he placed his lips against mine, but he was gentle and if it weren't for the heat rolling off his body and us being at the movie theater, this might have been very much like a dream come true.
But something was definitely wrong. Almost as soon as he kissed me, he pulled away displaying a look of confusion and dissatisfaction on his beautiful face and my heart ached to help him and to make him feel better.
"No. This is all wrong. This isn't how I wanted it to be. I wanted us to talk and have a nice quiet evening together. I've been waiting for this night for so lon......" he said, as his he turned and fell against the wall beside me.
"Jake, tell me what's wrong?" I pleaded.
He was rubbing his head and had closed his eyes for a few moments before saying, "I can't believe the night was ruined. First I spilled the shake then he came along. It was supposed to be special Bells."
"Hey. The night's not over and we can leave the movie and go somewhere else if you want," I said, trying to rub his arm, but when he opened his eyes it was like he was different somehow and he even pulled away from my touch.
"We need to go. I have to get you home Bella. I.....I'm not feeling good," he said, as he pushed himself off the wall and took my elbow leading me out of the theater.
He was walking fast and when we got out to his car he reached for my door I couldn't help myself as I wrapped my arms around his waist and held onto him, pressing my cheek against his hot chest. The heat was intense and his muscles were tight but he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug then kissed the top of my head before he opened the door and motioned for me to get in.
As we drove, I kept having this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that the same thing was happening to him that happened to Embry, but I didn't want to mention it because I was afraid it would make him even more upset.
I watched him as he drove, and noticed he kept rubbing his head, his arms, and even his chest like they were hurting or like he was feeling discomfort. I wasn't afraid of him, but rather afraid for him. He was behaving just as strangely as Embry had.
"Jake, do you want to talk about how you feel? Can you tell me what's happening?" I asked quietly.
"No. I just....I don't know. I feel weird."
He seemed to be trying hard to concentrate on driving so I just watched him from the corner of my eye and remained quiet the remainder of the way to my house.
When we pulled up in my drive, I turned to him and ran my hand over his cheek. There was now perspiration on his skin and he looked even worse.
"Jake, can I take you home? We can leave your car here," I offered.
"No! I mean no. I'm fine. I just need to get home. Bella I...."
"Yes Jake."
"Nothing. Never mind. I've got to go. Goodbye Bella," he said, and the look in his eyes was like he was in so much pain, like he was struggling with something.
"Thank you for tonight. I had a good....."
"No, you didn't. It was a total wash tonight," he said.
"No it wasn't. I got to spend time with you," I said, as I leaned over and kissed his cheek, "you go home and get some rest and I call and check on you later."
"Yeah, later," he said, and I climbed out of the car.
I waived as I watched him drive away and I knew deep inside of me that things were different and would never be the same again. I couldn't put my finger on what exactly was wrong, but I had felt it all night.
"Hey kiddo, you're home early," Charlie said, as I walked into the living room. "Is everything okay? Where's Jake?"
"Um, he wasn't feeling well, so he went on home."
"I hope it's nothing serious. Did you have a nice time?"
"Well, we had a few mishaps, but over all it was okay. I'm going to take a shower now and then I'll call and check on him and make sure he made it home all right."
"Okay. Well, if you want to tell me about your night, I'll be here," he said, as he changed the channel on the television.
As I took my shower, I couldn't help but worry about Jake and Embry and wonder if they were going through the same thing and if so, what exactly was it. I finished, dried off, got dressed, and dried my hair before going downstairs to use the phone.
The first time I called there was no answer, which bothered me greatly. Then I tried again about thirty minutes later and Billy answered the phone, but I could tell he was troubled. I asked if Jake made it home okay and he said yes, but that he really couldn't talk right then and I thought I hear some noises in the background. He said he must go and hung up.
I felt let down that I couldn't talk with Jake, when he knew that I was going to call, but then on the other hand, what if he was too sick to talk? And Billy's suspicious behavior didn't help any, so when I finally wound down enough to go to bed, it was a long time before I could go to sleep.
The next day, I tried to stay busy doing homework, housework, anything I could find to keep my mind off of Jake, but I called several times. Once or twice I caught Billy, but each time he said Jake wasn't home. The rest of the day, when I called, there would be no answer. So I went through Sunday, not knowing how Jake was.
Monday was awful. It was raining when I left for school, it stormed most of the day, adding to my overall distraught mood, and every class had home work, except P.E. When I finally left for home, I felt like I had been in a battle zone all day.
When I got home, I called Jake's, but there was no answer, so I worked on my homework and fixed dinner as I began to think things like Jake had a terrible time on our date and never wanted to see me again, or he had found someone else that he wanted to spend time with and couldn't bring himself to tell me, or the one that hurt the most that he was sick and would become like Embry and leave all his friends behind, including me.
By the time I went to bed, I was feeling the effects of the past two days. I was feeling ill myself and when I hadn't been able to reach Jake the last time I had called that night, and it really began to hit home.
I lay in my bed and went over my life of the past few months and as I thought about Jake and I being best friends and that I had even let myself fall in love with him, but had never told him how I felt, partly because he wanted to wait until our date, I began to cry.
Maybe he had planed it that way the whole time and the mishaps of that night had aided him in getting rid of me. So by the time I cried myself to sleep, I had decided that he hadn't wanted me to tell him that night at his house how I felt, because he knew it would be easier to leave me behind if I never said it.
The next day was worse at school. I had almost reverted back to the old Bella. I didn't want to talk with anyone, I could hardly pay attention in class, and I felt like crying most of the day. But by the time the last bell rang, I had made up my mind to go to La Push. I wasn't going to let him end us this way. If he didn't want to see me anymore, he would have to tell me to my face.
The rain was falling at stead intervals sometimes making it hard to see. As I finally approached Jake's house, I felt a wave of nausea threatening to make me sick, but I fought it because I was here to find out what was going on.
I pulled up to Jake's garage and got out, running through the rain until I made it to the small shelter. I looked around but Jake wasn't there. I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I couldn't bring myself just yet to go to the house. I slumped down on the chair in the corner where Jake and I had sat before and talked. I felt so alone and helpless, not knowing what to do and not having Jake there with me.
It wasn't until I heard a quite voice, coming from the corner of the garage that I realized I wasn't alone, "you won't find him here. He may never be here again. Not the Jake we knew anyway," Quil said in low voice.
I got up and went to him, dropping to my knees in front of him. We were both drenched and by now my teeth were chattering, not only from the cold but because of my state of mind.
"Wh...a....t ....are.....you....talking....about....Qu....il," I managed to chatter out.
He reached out and put his hands on my shoulders and I saw the pain in his eyes.
"It's just like Embry. He's changed just like Embry. He didn't come to school yesterday or today and when I came here to try and talk to him, he just told me to go home and not come back. Bella, he and Embry and I have been together, best freaking friends our whole lives. And you, he was crazy about you. You were all he talked about, but now.....I can't believe he's left us both like this," he said, as the tears glistened in his eyes.
I found myself moving forward until I was cradled against Quil's chest and his arms were wrapped around me. We needed each other right then and I couldn't help myself as I began to sob, "no, no, no, you're wrong."
"I wish I was. When he told me to leave, he walked out of the garage into the rain and met up with Embry just this side of the forest. They were punching each other and laughing and wrestling, as they walked toward the cover of the trees, then I saw Sam and the others motion for them to join them and they disappeared. I'm so sorry Bella."
I was shaking uncontrollably now and my teeth were chattering so loud. Quil stood up, pulling me up with him.
"Come on. I'm taking you to my house and getting you into some dry clothes. You can't stay here and you can't drive home yet, so give me the keys to your truck."
He wrapped his arm around me and took the keys from my shaking hand. I let him put me into the truck and leaned against him as he drove us to his house. He pulled me out when we got there and took me inside.
"My mom's not home right now. Wait here and I'll get you something dry," he said, as he walked down the hallway.
I had sunk down on the floor on my knees as the tears continued to flow, by the time he got back. He had to pull me back up onto my feet before he could show me to the bathroom.
"Bella, get out of these wet clothes and put these on," he said, handing me a pair of his sweat pants and an old T-shirt.
I took them and went inside. I was freezing and shaking, so it was hard to get my clothes off, but I finally managed then I slipped into Quil's clothes. I found a towel and wrapped it around my hair before coming back out and walking down the hallway.
I could hear voices and when I got to the end of the hall, I thought I could see Jake standing on the porch, but he was huge. He had grown so much since I saw him last on Saturday. He and Quil were having words. I thought I could hear Jake say, "you keep away from her," but I wasn't sure.
"You can't come here and tell me what to do? She needs me and you're not the hell around to take care of her," Quil said, then there was a low growling sound and it sounded like something jumped and landed in the mud outside.
I walked closer to Quil, just as he was shutting the door.
"What's going on?" I asked, looking at him through tear stained eyes.
"Nothing. Hey, come here," he said, putting his arms around me. He had taken off his shirt but he felt warm, almost like Jake used to, so I welcomed his embrace.
"It was him, wasn't it? He didn't even want to see me, did he?"
"Bella. I don't know what's going on, but I told you before, he's not himself right now, but maybe in time....."
"No, he's just like Ed....ward....he's gone too," I whispered as the tears began again.
Quil tried to comfort me as we sat down on the couch and I stayed there wrapped in his arms for a long time. It seemed like I still had a small piece of Jake with me as I held onto Quil and I'm sure he felt the same holding onto me.