Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

Chapter 4: Helpless

I took a deep breath as I looked into Esme's kind eyes. "I'll tell you about the day that changed the course of my life."

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Angela and I decided to stop by the new bookstore in Port Angeles. We stepped inside the cozy bookstore, and I smiled at the variety of books that already caught my eye.

"What kind of books are you getting?" Angela asked.

I shrugged and opened my mouth to answer before suddenly feeling an odd sensation. It felt as if I were being pulled in another direction. I glanced towards my right and saw a girl, about my age, standing behind a counter talking with a customer. I felt the pull again and unconsciously took a step towards the counter. The girl was oblivious to my presence and kept talking to the customer with a dazed look in her eyes. I could only see the back of the customer. The woman was about four inches taller than me with hair the color of burnt sienna. It fell to her shoulders and had a small but natural wave to it. She stood completely still and yet seemed to be graceful. Her clothes were draped over her body giving her an ethereal glow. She looked completely out of place in the little bookstore. She would fit better in a garden surrounded by flowers, swinging barefoot on a tree.

If I could only get closer, I would be able to see her face, I thought. I felt the strong pull again as I walked toward her. I frowned as my body continued to inch even nearer to her. I felt powerless, like someone had a large rope wrapped around me and continued to yank until I moved. I stood directly behind her, and my arm moved of its own accord. I longed to reach out and touch the soft hair on her back just to see if she was real.

"Bella?" Angela tugged on my sleeve. I shook my head to clear it and looked into her concerned eyes.

"Sorry, what?"

"Why are you going to the checkout counter? Do you know that woman?" She gestured with her eyes towards the door.

I looked toward the counter and saw the girl closing the register. I whipped my head around, turned my gaze to the door, and saw the woman again. Her eyes were covered by dark glasses. Her nose was small with a delicate point. I did not feel the pull anymore, but I continued to stare at her. She had generous lips that were blood red. After an eternal moment, her lips twitched in amusement before she glided out the door.

"Bella, do you want to leave? You're starting to worry me." Angela's voice was tinged with panic.

I shook off the strange feeling and tried to reassure Angela. "I'm sorry. I thought I knew that woman. I hope I didn't come across as a stalker."

Angela laughed, seeming relieved at my joke. "Well, you were definitely acting weird, and it looked like you were actually going to touch her."

My chuckle was strained. "Yeah. Well, I'm going to look around for a while." I scrambled away from Angela before I could make a bigger fool of myself. What was wrong with me? Who was that woman and why was gaping at her like an idiot?

I wandered around aimlessly until I finally came across some interesting books. I picked out three classics before I decided to find Angela. I soon found her nose deep in some book with a half naked man on the cover.

I smirked. "I should've known I'd find you over here."

"Hey what can I say? I'm a softy for romance."

I felt my cheeks warm as I looked at the picture on the back. It was the same man from the cover plus a woman who was almost equally undressed. "Ang, even the cover of the book is almost x-rated. I'd hate to think about what's actually in the book."

Angela rolled her eyes and laughed. "Don't be a prude, Bella."

We both jumped when her cell phone rang from her pocket. When she looked at the ID, her eyes immediately brightened and a huge smile formed.

"Tell Ben I said hello," I said with a chuckle.

"Will do," Angela said as she headed outside to talk on her phone.

After I finally selected my booka, I made my way over to the front counter so I could check out. I looked out the large windows and saw Angela sitting on a bench talking animatedly to Ben. I would never understand how people could just sit outside in this chilly weather.

I felt the same pulling feeling from earlier. I looked at the counter and saw it was empty. I looked around for the girl I saw earlier but could not find her anywhere. The pulling got stronger as if it was a magnetic center and I was the magnet. I walked to the counter and reached my hand forward to ring the bell. I touched the bell and it rang once, its shrill sound bouncing throughout the store. I gazed around to see the store was empty. I got a feeling of unease, and I looked again to make sure Angela was still outside. I sighed when I saw her in the same spot, still smiling and talking.

I felt the pull again, this time stronger, making my body almost sway with its intensity. I turned my head back to the counter and almost screamed when I realized someone was standing there. This had to be the source of these weird feelings.

Bracing myself, I slowly raised my gaze to his face. I almost fainted. His face could only be described as beautiful. He had full lips, and the bottom stuck out further than the top as if he had a permanent pout on his face. His jaws were strong and angular, yet they still allowed his face to have a soft quality to it. His wavy black hair was pulled into a ponytail that came a little past his shoulders. I gasped as I looked into his eyes. They were the shape of almonds framed by thick, curly lashes. But the most important fact was that his eyes were amber. The same amber of the family who left me, the same amber that could explain his inhuman beauty.

He was, quite possibly, the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I could only compare his beauty to Rosalie, and I think he would win that contest.

"How can I help you?" His deep voice had a perceptible English accent and his tone was solicitous but otherwise neutral. His eyes didn't match his voice; they made contact with mine only to be polite but were otherwise dark with anger.

"Um, I need to buy these books," I said quietly.

He gave me a small smile and held out his hand. I watched his face form the smile, mesmerized by his beauty. Can he feel it, too? This pull? He must feel it. Maybe that's why he looks angry. Is it all in my head? my thoughts rambled.

He tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at me. I looked down at myself self-consciously. Maybe I had a stain on my shirt or something. Not seeing anything wrong, I looked back at his beautiful face curiously, wondering why he raised his eyebrow.

"It would be a tad easier for me to check out the books if you were to hand them to me," he said with a bored voice. "Or perhaps you could read the titles to me, and I could enter them into the computer that way."

I was mortified to see his hand still stretched out waiting for the books that I had never given him. He doesn't feel anything. Look how idiotic he thinks I am.

"Oh…um sorry." I basically threw the book at him. I shook my head at my awkwardness.

He told me the total and I quickly paid for the books. "Thank you for your purchase. We look forward to doing future business with you," he said with a rehearsed voice. He almost sounded relieved that it was over.

I didn't want this conversation to be over. I had to know if he felt something.

"Do you feel it?" I blurted out.

His gazed darkened again. "Excuse me?"

I knew the store was empty, but I still leaned towards him so I could talk quieter. He automatically mimicked my movement even though he would be able to hear me clearly from outside. He looked a little shocked at his own behavior and abruptly straightened.

"As soon as I came in here, I felt something strange. I saw this woman…then I felt it again just now." I knew my words made no sense, but from the way his eyes narrowed, I had a feeling he understood exactly what I meant.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," he said coldly. His eyes were now chips of black ice.

I leaned towards him again and watched as he almost helplessly moved towards me. He feels it too!

"You feel it, don't you? That's why you look angry."

"Perhaps you should leave now." His voice gave up all pretenses of civility, and I was left looking into the eyes of someone dangerous.

"I just need to know what the feeling is and was and why I felt it. That's all. I won't say anything to anyone. I won't tell them about what you are."

I could almost feel the temperature drop in the room as his dark gaze focused on me. "I beg your pardon?"

My heart thundered in my chest and adrenaline pumped through my veins. He looked like a predator and I willing placed myself in his path.

I don't know how long we stood there staring at each other, but I was startled when someone behind me cleared their throat.

"Bella? Ready to go?" Angela asked with wide eyes as she looked quickly at the brooding stranger then back to me.

"Yeah, I'll meet you in the car."

"All right," she said as she hesitantly made her way back outside.

"Will you tell me?" I asked softly.

"Leave. Now."

There was no room for arguments. I quickly left the store and made my way into Angela's car, ready for the onslaught of questions. Before I went to her car, I turned around in time to see the beautiful woman from earlier standing at the door. Her hand was on the knob getting ready to pull it open. As if she sensed my presence, she spun around to look at me head on. My body swayed with the pull, and I almost ran across the street to her, but a car passed directly in front of me. When I looked again, the woman was gone and the bookstore had a closed sign hanging from the knob.

I got into the car with Angela and she asked me if I was okay. After assuring her that I was fine, we listened to the radio while we made our way back to Forks.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"This feeling, you say it was like a pull? Can you elaborate?" Carlisle leaned forward as he asked his question.

"I really don't know how else to describe it. It was almost like a physical need to go towards the source."

"That's very interesting. So was the pull towards the male or the female?"

"When I was at the bookstore, it honestly felt like the pull came from both of them. I felt so helpless."

"The woman, was she a vampire, too?" Edward asked.

"Yes."

"So she obviously knew the male. How did they know each other? Were they mates?"

"Edward! Will you let Bella talk?" Alice said in an irritated voice.

"Of course," he murmured. "I apologize."

"It's okay, Edward. My story is not very straight forward. There are still parts of it that I don't understand myself."

"Like what?" Edward questioned.

"The feeling of helplessness. The pull that basically made my body move without thought."

Alice raised her eyebrow. "The male didn't explain it to you?"

"He explained a lot to me," I said quietly. I felt my throat tighten with emotion.

Edward inhaled sharply. "You truly loved him?"

I nodded, unable to speak. I heard the air shift and looked up to find only Edward and I remained in the room.

"Bella, to hear you say that you have loved another…it fills me with agony. I know I have no right to feel that way, but I do. I want to know your story. I do. I just don't know if I would be polite company while you explain your former lover. Do you understand what I am saying to you?"

Edward's eyes were dark with pain. No matter what he did to me in the past, I would never intentionally hurt him.

"Edward…I…" I stopped, unsure what to say. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry."

His smile was grim. "You shouldn't be sorry. This was all my doing. I left you alone and you fell in love. How could I fault you for that?"

"I wish I could explain how it was…how it felt."

"I know how love feels, Isabella. It is a feeling that shall remain unrequited for me for the rest of my existence."

Unrequited? "Edward, this was different. The way I felt with him was not the same."

His eyes widened with fear. "Your love was stronger with him?"

I sighed, frustrated. "Edward, it wasn't like what you and I had. It was different…we didn't want it. It was the pull, Edward."

I hoped my words would alleviate his pain, but his face moved into a cool mask. He stood up smoothly. "I'm going for a run, I will return shortly. Please feel free to continue your story with or without me. I won't be offended."

He vanished from my sight before I could stop him. I heard Alice's soft footsteps as she approached.

"I don't want to hurt him," I told Alice.

"I know," she sighed, "It hurts him to think of you loving anyone else, Bella. Surely you can understand that."

"He said he couldn't stand to hear about my former lover. I need to make him understand that it…it wasn't like that, Alice."

Alice's normally friendly face turned harsh, her eyes burning with fury. "What? You told us you fell in love with another vampire. Did you make that up? Did you want to hurt Edward? He's been through enough, and being spiteful isn't going to solve anything."

I was momentarily shocked by Alice's cold words before my brain kicked back in. "I didn't make up anything, Alice. I don't appreciate what you're trying to insinuate. I just told you that I didn't want to hurt anyone. How dare you accuse me of being spiteful?"

"Bella, you know I love you, but Edward is my brother. I will not stand to see him hurt." She sounded more exasperated by the second.

I stood up slowly. "You illustrated your alliance with Edward when you left me all those years ago. I never assumed you were on my side. I'm the only one on my side."

Alice's face softened. "Bella, no, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry. I just want us all to be happy again."

I moved away from Alice and walked to the front door.

"Bella, can we just go back to the way things were?" Alice pleaded.

I wouldn't lie to her. "No."

End Notes:

I hope no one is too upset that the answers are not all pouring out right now. Please have patience with me. I really hope you like the direction I am taking this story. I am very nervous about adding new characters to the mix. I feel I must say again that this is an Edward/Bella story.

Thank you so much for reading. I would love to hear what you think.