OK Peeps, I KNOW I said I wanted to keep this one happy happy all the way...But we are dealing with Cal Lightmans past a lot here. and so I can't get away with it being totally angst free...So Heres thae angst...

Disclaimer as norm…

NEVER FORGIVE

"It's a nice thought Foster, an I'm not saying that I don't need yer help, I do – but - well you don't know Sammie. She's a natural yer know? Did I already tell you that - one of the best I've ever known and to top it off I think says been learning some of the science to go with it over the years as well"

"She's probably been reading your books Cal" They both let out a small chuckle at that.

"Look – I know I'm not you, not the 'best in the world' and I'm no natural either but…Cal, you're not worried that I can't deal with Samantha are you?"

"Don't be daft Foster, why else would I say it?"

"Exactly Cal – why else? You're scared right now, what is it? What are you not telling me?"

His face went completely blank.

"Change the record Foster"

Gillian stood up knowing better than to push him when he was like this.

"Ok, I'll help in whatever way you need – But when you're ready to tell me…."

xXx

"So, cum on, give – what have you found out in your travels round the office. Has Lightman banged her yet?"

"Do your own fact finding Loker, I've been busy working thank you"

"Oh please…You know something Ria, I know that look! Come on …share"

"Ok" she flew to the chair next to him like a child to a sweetshop window.

"Word is they spent the night in the same bed"

"Wow, two hours round the corridors and on the phones and that's all you have?"

"Of course not! But if you are going to start getting all sarcastic then that's all you're gonna get"

Ria sat back crossed her arms and glared at him, this made Loker grin which in turn made Torres all the more sour faced.

"Ah cum on Ria, lighten up. What's buggin you?"

Loker squinted, as he studied her face his own changed from humour to curiosity to concern.

"Ria, wha is it? You're…you look…scared."

Torres got up and started pacing her hands intertwining with each other.

"You can't repeat this to anyone Loker ok – no-one right"

"Ok – whatever you're about to tell me, and me – to death do us part"

"Ok. Well, there are times when I see things on Cal that I don't think anyone else catch's, and recently, with that woman, what I keep seeing…is fear..I mean Fear, on Lightman…So if he is scared, then I am scared"

"Yeah, well if you're right…"

"I AM"

"Well then I think that I might be slightly scared now as well!"

xXx

When Foster turned up at Lightman's house later that evening she found the door open and Cal's not so gentle English tones reverberating out as far as the pavement.

Picking up her pace she hurried inside.

"I don't bloody care Em! You know damn well that I don't want you here at the moment so if you had an argument with yer bloody mother you should have gone to Foster, or Torres or …well anyone, anywhere but here"

"But I wanted to talk to you dad, and I don't see why I have to stay away.."

"Because I TOLD you to that's why…"

"CAL!...Emily, I'm surprised to see you here"

Gillian decided to enter the affray in an effort to try and calm the waters.

"Foster! Right …Good, take this girl back to your place will you and lock her in before I…."

"DAD!"

"CAL!"

The cries were simultaneous.

"WOT?"

He threw up his hands and adopted his 'I'm innocent so why are you picking on me' look.

Gillian went and put her arm round Emily.

"Why are you so angry with her, if she's had an argument with her mother then it's understandable she wants to talk to her dad, what do you expect?"

"Yeah dad, what do you expect?"

"I Expect …my daughter to adhere to my…very precise instructions and my business partner to butt out when I am trying to discipline her for not doing it!"

Gillian flinched at his emphasise on the word business. Emily felt her anger growing and burst into tears.

"Oh for Gods sake…Em…Bollox…I'm sorry luv, but it's just not safe for you to be here at the moment"

As Cal moved towards his daughter she turned away and into Gillian's tightening arms.

"How can you say it's not safe Cal? Samantha is hardly a killer is she? Stop pushing whatever irrational fear you seem to have of that woman onto your daughter. Emily love, I'm going to take you home with me tonight, your father needs a bit of time to…get his priorities straight! Come on honey"

Gillian pushed past a confused Lightman and guided Emily to the door.

"I'll speak to you tomorrow Cal"

Cal was still speechless as they left.

"Oh dear, trouble in paradise? It's a shame they left, I was having such a nice chat with Emily before you got in"

She was sitting on the stairs grinning at him.

"I swear Sammie I don't believe in beating up women, but you are really. Really close to making me change my mind right now"

"Chill out Lightman!...I'll pour you a drink"

As she started to cross the room he suddenly grabbed her by her upper arms and shoved her back against the wall. With his face mere inches from hers, his voice came out low and gruff.

"Wot did you say to her ay? – What did you tell her Sammie?"

He shook her slightly during the latter part of his question.

"CAL – Stop it please…Nothing, I didn't tell her anything"

The hint of fear in her face and voice jolted him back and he quickly let go and stepped away from her.

He just turned his back and walked out to the back garden breathing in the cooler air deeply.

When her arms crept round his waist it startled him.

"Cal, I would never tell her anything about us, the past – I won't tell anyone I promise, don't stay mad at me please"

"Sammie…Sorry I hurt you, scared you…Could you please just go an find sumfing to do in your room please, I need some space luv"

She dropped her arms and stepped round to face him.

"You really still haven't forgiven me have you?"

"Don't push me Sam, not right now"

"No! Say it Lightman – ha, Lightman, took me some practice to get used to that one – but anyway, say it!"

Cal's hands were forming into fists and his jaw was tightening, she could see it, knew what it meant, but she couldn't stop herself.

"You wanna know why I did what I did? Why I slept with those idiot agents and politicians? That is what they want you to find out isn't it – why I did it and what I know? Well the 'what I know' is immaterial really, a lot less than they think I assure you – but WHY I did it – shall I tell you that?"

Some of the anger seemed to drop away from him and his face became a mixture of sadness and uncertainty.

"I know why now Sammie. I mean..I think I understand that you've staged at lot of this to get to a place – Wot I don't understand is why you wanna be …at that place"

"Yes you do. You know. Cal…Pete, I need you to forgive me"

Despite the tears forming in her eyes and the look of desperation on her face – the plea in her voice….

" I can't Sammie, I can't give you that – not ever"