50 ways to Annoy Edward Cullen
A/N OMFG I am sooooo sorry! I haven't updated in MONTHS! Libby's been bugging me for AGES about this- so here it is!
Disclaimer:
Hi, My names Stephenie Joanne Kathleen Meyer Rowling. I have split personality disorder sometimes I'm from Arizona, USA and dream of Jasper Whitlock-Hale divorcing Alice and taking me away whereas other times I live in London and dream of Sirius taking me for long rides on his enchanted motorbike or Draco letting me play with his wand (Get your minds out of the gutters ;))-
Yeah and unless your REAAAALLLLLY thick and (I mean my level thick) you will realize I'm using a rare art form of SARCASM.
And If I owned Twilight or Harry Potter I wouldn't be on FF, I would be employing Mr Tamplin and Mr Bignore to become my personal servants wearing Reaaaally tight shorts-drool-
Anyone you don't recognize I own. Oh and I own my bedroom!
Meanwhile at Malfoy Manor
"Morning Drakey-poo" Libby smiled sleepily as she stretched along the green silk bedding. She leaned over to face the platinum haired owner of the huge bed she was currently occupying.
She screamed as her eyes met the silver orbs- of not the yummy, dangerous, slytherin Sex god- but the flabby, wrinkly, old Lucius Malfoy.
"Wrong Malfoy Babe" He smirked. Libby pinched herself and closed her eyes muttering "Just a drea- er Nightmare"
"Not about me I hope" Said a smooth but tense voice it was deep, but had a warning tone, ever present. She slowly opened her eyes, to look into the crimson slits of Vodemort himself!
"For fuck sake!" She yelled in frustration, "Can't I wake up to Draco just once?" She lobbed the alarm clock, that was resting next to the now silver covered bed, and sighed as it hit Voldemort smack bang in the middle of his oddly shaped head. She quickly got dressed and yelled as she walked towards the door "Oh and if you tell anyone about this, I'll tell Nickii that your hiding Edward in your boxers..." She shuddered and quickly left the mansion.
"Those teenagers need to be dealt with" Voldemort plotted, "first that crazy thing chasing me- Lord Voldemort- through that huge muggle city screaming 'DIE SNAKE DIE!' Oh the shame! And then that one just now, hmm I wonder if she would help me get Potter, I could promise her Malfoy... Senior maybe...
Oh and the tiny hyper one *shudder* gives me a migrane just thinking about her squealing about the Dog... And the obsessed one her pining scares even me! Even I'm not that bad- and I spent seventeen YEARS chasing after Potter, and the vampire look-a-like, one word- Nightmares. Night. Mares."
Frae's Bedroom
Libby snuck in and silently crawled into her sleeping bag, she let out a sigh of relief and...
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