Chapter IV:

Harbinger

It was now well within the midst of the night, and Makaze's hospital bedroom was one of the few that still had light shining from its window. Makaze looked out at lights of the village's homes and buildings as he drew more writing ideas into his mind. He wasn't entirely sure if they were inspiring him or perhaps the sight of all of them and the various colors from the lanterns was simply mesmerizing him.

"…The doctor was very nice about giving me the extra time before; I have so very much on my mind I ought to write quickly in order to ensure that it all gets done in time. This was the earliest time I could resume writing prior to noon, and I restate that much has happened since then…

…The first thing the doctors did was draw blood from me. The nurses took somewhat unnecessary pains to assure me that the experience with a needle wouldn't be as unpleasant as they thought I thought it would be. One of them informed me that many boys my age still cried about taking needles from time to time. I found this fact both funny and strange because a ninja should, idealistically, be accustomed to the experience of pain, and a needle is not much different from a kunai, except a needle is cleaner and designed to create small holes, where a kunai… Well I am getting technical. But a kunai is probably worse. In fact, it's sort of like how people can be afraid of snakes and spiders, but not bathtubs, even though more people are killed by the latter. I guess it's because people's fears all too often rarely reflect the actual danger associated with something, but rather, sigma and experience, and so their decision making is thus warped in bad directions. But this is an unnecessary tangent…

… to make the long story shorter, the doctor then made the injection and I felt a sting of sorts, but as I expected it wasn't anything to cry about. However, when I turned my head to see was going on, something went oddly wrong. I only took a small glance at my own blood but found myself completely SICK to my stomach at the sight of it, almost immediately. I'm also not entirely sure about this, but I think I saw a flash of something, an image that almost 'hit me' when I made that glance, but I didn't see the image for long enough to figure out what it was I was looking at and why my reaction to it was so bad. Regardless, I nearly threw up and started panicking. The doctors removed the needle and gave me what I believe was a sedative to calm me down. A Sedative; that's one of the things I already knew before asking, like I talked about in my last journal. Anyway, I apologized for the problems I caused, and they resumed with the extraction, this time I closed my eyes while they did it and thought about something pleasant; that aster flower came to mind…

…In hindsight the above story is rather strange, and somewhat unexpected. Two days ago, when I first met the Konoha ninja, I was covered in blood, but I didn't seem to react to that at all. Perhaps it's because I was distracted or confused, and maybe because the blood on my clothing had largely dried out and thus looked more like a bunch of red stains than actual blood… Either way, sensitivity to something as simple as blood is not something I want to keep as one of my traits, it's not very advantageous for a ninja, and it certainly is embarrassing. I can only hope it is a temporary condition…

Makaze paused… Biting his teeth down on back of the pencil, he thought awhile, and then resumed writing.

…I want this journal to go in two directions now… Take note of this for later, because I want to discuss that above paragraph a bit more. However, I think it is best if I followed the plotline of the day's events FIRST, rather than going off on a tangent. I had wondered something about me being a Shinobi…

Makaze circled the word 'Shinobi' and placed a question mark next to it.

…After that, I was allowed to go to the faculty cafeteria since, according to the nurse; I was no longer a patient after they made the extraction. I could not leave, however, because as a foreigner I still needed to be checked out, which would be done after 'they' (I assume that means Konoha's government collectively) could find me a place that I could stay. I was somewhat uncomfortable about sitting next to any of the people who worked there, or any of the patients either, so I took a vacant table. While I was eating, (An unimportant detail, but the food wasn't very good) a young secretary who I remembered from before told me that I must had been "rather popular", because there was a blonde haired girl "throwing a fit in the lobby that she wasn't permitted make an appointment to visit you.", as she said in her own words. I didn't recall ever coming into contact with a blonde haired female at all actually. Maybe she knew me before I lost my memory, or she made a mistake. The latter is more likely, though I'll be very exited if it was the former. Either way, I feel somewhat obliged to go to her and make sure that everything is in order; I felt bad that someone went through all of that trouble only to be rejected. I asked for her name, and she said that it was 'Ino Yamanaka'. I need to remember that name for the future…

…After that, there was very little for me to do but hang around the hospital. There were very few places I could go; rules say patients aren't allowed to visit most patient rooms, the ER and the recovery center (For good reasons of course). In short, there were very few things I could do in the very few places I could visit. I feel I am being too diplomatic in my phrasing… in all honesty there was nothing I could do, except walk. This boredom lasted for about one and a half hours. I counted…

…However, something interesting happened after that hour and a half. I didn't get word of what caused it, but a terrible accident had occurred, and a man had been crushed by something. I think it was falling debris, since judging by his outfit he looked like a man in construction. The doctors rushed him in, but this case was considerably severe; deformities in his rib cage were threatening to cause fatal damage to his heart and lungs. (Make no mistake that wasn't an astute medical observation on my part, I'm no doctor. I just couldn't help but hear what they were saying) and they wanted to operate on him as quickly as possible, as a result, they began their Healing Jutsus immediately, right in the lobby. While a few of the janitors and staff had sort of served as body guards by ushering people from getting too close, I was close enough that I could see exactly what was going on, but far enough that I could stand there without getting told to move. The guy's screams were terrible, and I was very afraid to look at him directly given past experiences. So instead of looking at the man, I chose to look at one of the head surgeons…

…It was probably only a split second, but it felt like an eternity, I was able to see directly into the eyes of the head surgeon. And in that while I almost felt as if I was THAT very doctor. I didn't particularly understand the nature of it, but it seemed as if I experienced the very feeling of his Jutsu; in which poured chakra from his own body into another in order to remove and mend his broken rib cage, it was then I realized then that the doctor was almost in as much pain of losing so much chakra from his body as the injured man. It felt exhausting watching him as he performed the operation, so I can't imagine what it must have been like for him. But aside from the physical pain, there was a strong element of inspiration that came from me watching him, but I don't really know why…

…Well… to make the long story short, (I know; too late) the operation was a success and the man was partially re-stabilized after a total of three and a half hours. 'Partially' meaning that his rib cage was no longer a threat to his heart or any of his internal organs (Something I found out through eavesdropping after the completion of the surgery) I managed to intercept the Surgeon to congratulate him; he was somewhat surprised by my enthusiasm, and I think it's because he never really gets that kind of recognition…

…I couldn't help but feel obligated to help around in any way I could, and proceeded to ask him if there was some way I could help around the hospital. At first he thought I was some sort of Genin doing a D-Rank mission, but I explained I wanted to do it because I felt inspired to do so. He was fairly impressed, and asked what my skills were. When I told him that I didn't know I he became confused, and At that moment I realized that he didn't understand about my amnesia, and I proceeded to explain my situation…

…He said I should talk to the head orderly and ask if there was any way I could offer help. When I went to him he too appeared confused at first, but he eventually put me under the direction of another orderly who showed me his work and explained how to do it, then had me work alongside him. It was fairly repetitive and uninteresting as I went from room to room making sure everything was in 'order'. Hence the origin of the name, or at least I think so…

…I was tired afterwards. (afterwards being only a few minutes ago, when I was 'discharged' at lights out). Regardless, I felt as if I had done something important, despite it merely being cleaning. There is something satisfying in helping out in any way you can, really…

"Oh, and I almost forgot, I want to talk about that tangent—"

But at that moment he shivered at the feeling of a gentle yet potent breeze pass through the room.

"What the—"Makaze looked up at the window, but it was closed just as he had left it.

"I knew I had left it closed, but what was it that…" He got up out of his chair and moved for the window; close examination revealed that it had been locked shut. Stepping back from the window, he scratched his head, bewildered.

"It's nice to see you again, up and about after your ordeal."

"Who said that?" Makaze looked fearfully around the room, he had just heard someone's voice being spoken right into his ear, but no one was there.

"I'm right here." The voice replied. Makaze felt a tap on his shoulder and he spun around. Finally he saw him; the Assassin, wearing the same clothes as he had worn in front of Sakura. He was sitting modestly at the edge of Makaze's bed. His arms were folded neatly on his lap and his hood was hanging over his head, cloaking his entire face. Makaze also noticed the Assassin had on a pair of fingerless gloves.

"Who are you? And what are you doing up there?" Makaze panted as he jumped back from the bed; his hand clutching his heart having been scared half to death by man's random appearance.

"I would advise you not to communicate with me aloud, since no one else can hear me except you. So from now on please just think what you are going to say."

"That's crazy… it's impossible to read someone's thoughts." He thought to himself, still breathing heavily "Is this some kind of Genjutsu?"

"Not true at all, it is very possible." The Assassin replied even though Makaze had never said anything aloud. "And you know… it is rather interesting… The other girl, Sakura, when she met me she had said the same thing."

Makaze became startled from that response.

"So you… really CAN read my thoughts?" He replied in thought.

"Yes. Now; to answer your initial question: "Who am I" As of now, I cannot tell you… yet. However I think you've heard of me before, which is good enough as far as titles go." Makaze pondered for awhile. Then remembered his mentioning of Sakura and, having recalled Sakura's own testimony, replied.

"So wait… You're the man that Sakura was talking about! The cloaked fellow! Yes, Sakura mentioned you."

"Then you know it was I who was responsible for bringing you here, at least metaphorically speaking."

Makaze thought about it for awhile. "I guess you did…" No longer sensing any danger he eased himself slightly; and gradually his breathing slowed down until it reached regularity. "I guess that makes you my savior in a way."

"…Savior… I would prefer not to think of myself as such. Regardless, pleased sit down, we have matters to discuss."

Makaze took a seat on the bed adjacent to the Assassin, placing the paper and pencil on his lap. He had tried to get a look at man's face but it was too well covered.

"I'll start by alleviating some of your concerns as to how and why I am here… First, as you probably have already guessed, the image of me you are seeing is not a real one. You can call it a Genjutsu if you like, though these images are not an attempt on my part to deceive you. If I could talk to you in person I would, but right now that is not possible; and so we must both contend with this alternative. I could simply communicate with you as a disembodied voice, but at least this way I can somewhat introduce myself—"

"It would probably be a more genuine introduction if you weren't completely covered by that cloak…" Makaze commented disappointedly "You may as well be a disembodied voice."

"I know that the mystery surrounding me is going to bother you, but until I think you're ready I'm going to have to remain in this state of mystery, and that includes my face." He paused "I'm going to say this to you a lot, but if there is a truth you are not yet ready to hear me say, I cannot reveal it to you. And I would rather, if whenever possible, be honest and admit that there are things I cannot tell you immediately, rather than create lies that will suffice for the moment."

"So you don't think I'm capable of understanding who you are?" Makaze asked indignantly.

"That's a terribly negative way of putting it…" The Assassin replied. "But, and I'm also going to say this to you a lot, when you finally do learn the truth, you'll understand why I could not tell you everything immediately. Until then you'll just have to take my word for it, but I promise you that it is the truth. And I promise that when this is finished and done, all of your questions will be answered."

Makaze sighed "Alright. You got me; I'll take your word for it. So why are you here exactly?"

"Well, I'm sure you are wondering why it is you are bound to that name; the one you so despise. As I am also sure you are wondering why you seemingly forgot everything about who you were."

"The name I despise?" Makaze frowned "You mean—"

The Assassin nodded, but raised his "You don't have to say it, and I will never call you by that name. I know how much that name hurts you though I am not sure you know exactly why that name causes you so much pain. But yes, we both know what I am talking about."

"Alright… And yeah I guess I am curious. But that means… You know who I really am?" Makaze asked excitedly, then stopped and sighed. "But let me guess, there's a catch. There's got to be a catch, right?"

The Assassin laughed. "You're very perceptive I see… Let me explain. The memories that you no longer recall weren't actually deleted from your brain, they were… locked away; placed into the deeper recesses of your mind. Those memories are still in your mind, but they are now in a place where you can't call upon them and thus you have no conscious recollection of them. This also means that with the right tools, it will be possible to get all of those memories back. This is the caveat though; the process of reacquainting you with your old memories is something that cannot be done quickly and easily; it will take time, and above all: patience."

"W-what do you mean?" He asked curiously.

"I mean that It is not possible for me to simply toss all of that locked away information back into the right place, at least not without any negative consequences. Also, certain memories may be too sensitive and an untrained mind might reject them or, worse, go into a relapse."

"I… Don't quite understand." Makaze commented. "What do you mean by a sensitive memory?"

The Assassin sighed "It's not so easy to explain… The best I can say is this; you losing your memories were no accident. You will need to know, in time, everything that happened in the past, but… Many memories can be about good things, but the past is often filled with a lot of bad things, things you might find hard to accept, to understand, or to forgive without proper teachings and guidance. I cannot simply return all of your memories to you in a single session because you would undoubtedly find the experience too traumatic to endure. And so the only healthy way to go about it is to break your past down into bits that are for lack of a better word, digestible."

"And I take it you're going to help me with this?" Makaze asked, looking up at the Assassin.

"Of course, that's what I'm here for. It's not going to be easy, and in order for you to do this successfully it will require more than simply relearning your past. You'll have to learn quite a lot more than what you knew before; about secrets you should have been told, and about skills you should have learned."

"You mean you're also going to train me?"

"Yes, But… first, there is something you are going to have to do. Tomorrow morning you are going to be released from this hospital, I can sense it. When you are free, you will be facing a trial. I need to see how you perform in this trial before we can begin your training and your rehabilitation."

"A trial? You mean like a test? What is it going to be about? I mean… will I be ready?"

"Ah you see… That's just it. I can't tell you what your test will be; otherwise it wouldn't be a true test. Will you be ready? If I was certain you were ready for it, or if I was certain that you were not, the test itself would not be at all necessary. But whether or not you will actually be ready is entirely your choice, not mine. For right now that is all I can say, try not to get too apprehensive. Rest peacefully; you will need it come tomorrow. I will reconnect with you soon. One other thing…You are—" The Assassin paused.

"I am what?" Makaze asked aloud. But the man and the place on the bed where he had been sitting looked completely undisturbed

"What are you doing?" A nurse had opened the door while he wasn't looking. "I came to tell you that the extra time the doctor gave you is up and he wants you to go to bed. Who are you talking to?" The nurse asked him

"Nothing… just thinking." Makaze replied

"But I did hear you talking."

"Don't worry, it was just a thought, and well… it came out aloud by accident. Pretty funny actually…" He tried to laugh the matter off, but couldn't help but blush in embarrassment.

"Alright… well, lights out." She flicked the light switch and the room entered into darkness. Then, Grabbing for the notebook and pen from his bed sheets, Makaze scribbled one last sentence blindly and clumsily in the dark:

"You had better not forget this night!"