Chapter Five: Proving Himself
A Blank Dimension: August 3rd, 1995
Lila just stared at her brother in shock for a moment. He was mental. Absolutely, 100% mental. Alternate Universe, my arse, she thought to herself. It simply wasn't possible. Harry was mental. Or…
"Uh huh. Very nice, Harry. I knew this was too good to be true," Lila muttered, starting to walk away in disgust. "I hope you amused yourself."
"What are you talking about?" Harry demanded, following her. "And I thought you wanted me to charm something for you."
"Oh yeah…how do I know you're not just going to ruin it?"
"I wouldn't do that!"
"You did before, when I was eight," Lila pointed out.
"That wasn't me! I have no reason to hurt you."
"Never stopped you before. And in any case, if it wasn't you than who was it?"
"The other me!" Harry shouted, before suddenly realizing how crazy he sounded. No Harry, you're not mental at all, he thought to himself.
His sister seemed to think so as well. "What is wrong with you?"
"Look, I know this sounds really insane and unbelievable, but this morning I woke up with no memory of how I got here. I've never seen you before in my life before today, I swear! I think I'm in an alternate universe."
"That is the worst story you've ever come up with," Lila informed him. "You really think I'm going to fall for that rubbish?"
"It's true! Argghh…okay, how's this. Is there anything that I can't do?"
"Quite frankly, Harry, you can't do much."
"Can I cast a Patronus?"
"What's that?"
Beginning to feel hopeful, Harry dashed into his room, found a book on Defensive Charms that he had read last year, and opened it to the section on Dementors and Patronii. "See? That's a Patronus."
"Sounds really difficult; it says there this is a N.E.W.T. level spell. Bet you couldn't do it to save your life."
"Maybe your Harry can't, but I can. I've done it before. It's a stag, just like James Potter. It's always a stag." Harry declared confidently.
"Always? You act like you've done it before." Lila stated.
"I have, it saved my life 3rd year." Harry said pleadingly, "The Dementors were after me and Sirius and we went down by the lake, and I almost got the life sucked out of me, but the time turner, and—" he stopped. It would be better just to show her. "Just watch please."
"Fine then, let's see," Lila challenged.
Casually, Harry pulled out his wand and flicked it. "Expecto patronum!"
Prongs galloped out of the tip and circled around, nudging Lila with his antlers as she stared in shock. "Wow! That- that was something!"
"Believe me yet?"
'Would Harry have gone to all the trouble of learning a really advanced spell just to tease me? He's not that dedicated…' Lila mused. "Almost. Can you do anything else?"
"Okay, now I feel like a performing animal," Harry grumbled, though he wasn't really upset. "How about…um…I guess your Harry is pretty good on a broom, huh? Or else you would have said something while we were flying."
"Yeah, he is," Lila admitted reluctantly. "But he's never taught me like that…you're a good teacher." Startled by her own words, she added, "At least in flying you know what you're talking about."
Harry did not seem particularly offended. "Yeah, I'm not a very good teacher. Can your Harry cook?"
"Are you kidding me? The great Harry Potter, cook! Besides, we have house-elves. Duh."
"I can cook. I had to cook for eleven years, before Hogwarts. Do you think the elves will let me?"
"They will if you order them to; you are, after all, their 'Master.' They just won't be very happy about it."
"You hungry?" Harry asked, starting down the hall. About three steps later, he paused and turned around in mild embarrassment. "Um…where's the kitchen?"
Lila shook her head and tugged him in the opposite direction. If this was a trick, Harry was a really good actor. Or completely delusional. Or telling the truth. No she blocked the last one out of her mind. It's impossible. "Sure I'm a little hungry, but not enough to eat something you make! Not like you'd know how to bake brownies, anyway."
"Of course I do!" Harry objected. "Come on!"
The pair made their way to the kitchen, where, over the protests of the house-elves, Harry laid out ingredients and began baking. He worked quickly and neatly, as if he had to do this a thousand times before. While he was cooking, he recalled the last time he made brownies. He was 10, and Dudley was having friends over. He screwed up the first batch of brownies that his Aunt Petunia was making him bake. She made him make it over and over again until he got them right. He made twelve batches that day, and got the recipe for brownies permanently branded in his mind. As he worked, Lila watched him thoughtfully.
'He seems really at ease, like he's done this many times before. Maybe he's telling the truth…but it's so far-fetched. I wonder where he learned to bake? Not the house-elves; they were too shocked to see him down here, and it would be improper. Not the house-elves at Hogwarts either; they wouldn't teach a student to do their job. Speaking- well, thinking- of house-elves, Harry treated them a lot nicer than he usually does. He didn't yell at them or anything.'
Lost in thought, Lila jumped as Harry sat down next to her. "I put them in the oven. They'll be done soon."
His sister merely nodded and resuming her pondering. 'He's been awfully nice today; I don't remember ever having a civil conversation with him before. He hasn't laughed at me at all except for when I fell off my broom, and that was a nice kind of laughing…it didn't hurt. He even helped me with my homework and my flying…'
'Ding!'
"Brownies are done!" Harry announced brightly, jumping up. He pulled on a pair of baking mitts and lifted the tray out of the oven with practiced ease. "Here we are. Watch out, though, they're hot."
Cautiously, Lila took one, blew on it a little to cool it off, and took a bite. Instantly, her eyes widened. "Whoa! These are really good!"
"Told you so," Harry said smugly. "Now do you believe me?"
"What's a microwave?"
"It's a device that muggles use to warm food. You push buttons to set the length of time, and then you put the food on a little rotating plate so that it will heat evenly. I think it uses some kind of radiation or something. Why?"
"Harry's never taken Muggle Studies; he doesn't know the first thing about Muggles. I… don't get me wrong, it still sounds completely crazy, but I think… I think I believe you."
"You do? Great!" Brownies forgotten, Harry beamed at Lila, happy that at least one person didn't think he was crazy. Things felt at ease for a moment. The two siblings sat in a comfortable silence for a while.
"Hey, wanna hear a joke?" he asked, breaking the silence.
"Sure, why not?"
"Knock, Knock," Harry said, grinning. Lila looked mildly confused.
"Erm, what?" she asked.
"It's a Knock, Knock joke, your supposed to say whose there." Harry said.
"Who's there?" Lila asked cautiously.
"Boo," Harry said.
"Erm, Boo Hoo?" Lila asked.
"It's just me there's no need to cry," Harry said with a laugh. Lila giggled, when she realized the joke.
"Harry James Potter, that was the corniest joke I've ever heard." Lila said, trying, and failing, to keep a straight face.
"Kay, here's another one," Harry said. "Why was six afraid of seven?"
"Why?" Lila asked, with a grin on her face.
"Because seven, eight, nine." Harry said. Lila cracked up again. The next hour or so, was spent with the two exchanging corny jokes, Harry using old Muggle ones, and Lila using Wizarding ones that this Harry had never heard, and pigging out on a plate of some of the best brownies Lila had ever tasted. She couldn't tell if it was the brownies themselves or just the fact that she was sitting here, eating them with her big brother, giggling like a bunch of First Years.
Their laughter was heard from the other room, where a tall man had just walked in, utterly confused by what he was hearing. Who in the world would be sitting in the kitchen laughing. He moved closer to the door and listened more closely.
"Knock, Knock," he heard his son, Harry say.
"Who's there?" he heard a girl say. It sounded awfully like his daughter, Lila, but that was impossible, Harry and Lila didn't get along. It just didn't happen.
"Interrupting Cow," Harry said.
"Interrupting C—" the girl's voice said, but was cut off by his son again.
"Moo!" Harry said, laughing. The girl cracked up too. "Got any others Lila?"
That's when James Potter walked into the room.
"Harry? Lila?" he asked. "What's going on in here?"
Harry's eyes widened, in shock, awe, and excitement, because for the first time in his life, he was staring at his father.