Alas I don't own Twilight...Stephanie Meyer does she's a frickin legend

What I do own is a big Twilight throw rug!

Chapter 2

EPOV

So Emmett, Jasper had arrived at our dorm this morning after leaving my sister Alice and Emmett's girlfriend Rose at their dorm to unpack...I knew full well we were probably going to get a phone call in a few hours time from them asking us to put furniture or some shit together. I don't know why they didn't just get ready made furniture its saves a shit load of time and then later on I wouldn't be wasting time trying to figure out how to put Alice's weird flat pack crap together and ending up with a horrible backache thus rendering me incapable of going out and enjoying the night life of Los Angeles if you know what I mean. We had just sat down on our couches after fighting over whose room was which personally I didn't give a damn but Emmett and Jasper had to make a game of everything.

Jasper had already stocked the fridge up though it was predominantly filled with beer – god I had no idea how in the hell we were going to survive, there's barely any food in the house and none of us can cook worth a damn maybe it's a good thing all our parents are loaded. We could always just order some shit in or go out so at least we weren't going to starve. I sat on the couch downing a beer while Emmett decided that he was going to try installing the flat screen.

"I just got a call from Alice..." Emmett told me when I walked in the room.

"Please tell me where not putting that fucking flat pack shit together I have better things to do"

"No Douche if you had let me finish. She said Rosie's on her way here and after she's shown their new roommate...Bella I think she said...anyways after she's shown her round and unpacked their gonna come over and were going out for dinner or some shit." He frowned looking at Jasper, who had this shit eating grin on his face at the mere mention of Alice's name.

"Dude" Emmett yelled at Jasper "stop acting like a pussy whipped douche and help me out here." When Emmett didn't get a response... I guess Jasper had totally gone over to the dark side; Emmett launched a couch cushion at his head with the desired effect. I just lost it laughing as Jasper threw himself at Emmett trying to pin him to the ground.

"What The Fuck asshole what did I do to you man...and no I'm not pussy whipped I just love my girl and WTF are you talking about anyways your just as bad as I am with "Your Rosie" fucking carrying round her purse in the mall and shit..."

I decided to leave them to their wrestling match and go get something decent on. I didn't need my sister bitching in my ear that I looked like shit...she probably only called to forewarn me she was bringing the roommate so I wouldn't embarrass her by looking fashionably challenged. Why the fuck do I care what her friend thinks of me I will probably just try to get into her pants anyways and then forget about her. I knew it wasn't right to act this way. I wasn't raised this way to use girls and hell if my parents knew that I was acting like a manwhore they'd probably be disappointed as fuck but why the hell should I give anyone the time of day? The last time I did I got shat all over had my heart broken into tiny pieces. The bitch literally crushed me well if people can go round using me why the fuck can't I return the favour. I may as well make my miserable life enjoyable.

I flinched as I heard a massive crash coming from the living room followed by a "you fucking asshole omega my TV..." followed by a knock on the door and a "ROSIE COME GIVE YOUR EMMY BEAR A KISS" I laughed my ass off and he had the nerve to call Jasper pussy whipped. Oh well better go say hello. I walked out of my room to see Jasper in the corner pretending to scratch his eyes out while screaming "please your killing me with the PDA my eyes are burning" Sure enough there's Emmett and Rosalie rolling all over the damn floor almost about to fuck.

"Seriously take it the fuck in your room guys Jasper and I don't need to be screwed the fuck up"

"Screw you man-whore ward" Rosalie laughed and dragged Emmett to his room. Thank god for that. I parked my ass down next to Jasper who had rearranged the cushions and was now sitting with a beer in his hand.

"Jasper I swear to god if you do that to me I will beat your hypocritical ass – watching Em and Rose is bad enough"

"Na I'm cool wouldn't want to make you jealous" he launched himself away from me as I attempted to punch him. "I know your secretly attracted to me that why you keep banging everything that walks to distract yourself."

"Did you honestly just call me gay?" Jasper dodged me laughing his ass off. "You know how I know you're gay"

"And how do you know I'm gay Edward?" he was laughing so hard he was gripping his sides.

"You were staring at the smoothy guy for like 5 min yesterday and you had an almost dream like expression on your face just like before I thought you were about to blow your load hahaha"

"Fuck you man I was staring that prick down he was staring at my girls ass"

"Yeah keep telling yourself that Jazz" I laughed and went to answer the knock on the door. Jasper managed to shove me out the way so I'm guessing he was in a desperate state to see Alice...probably trying to prove he wasn't gay. The door was opened my sister walked in giving Jasper a kiss.

"Please keep the PDA to a minimum Alice we've already had to warn Em and Rose and I don't want to gouge my eyes out right now"

"Well maybe you wouldn't feel so left out and resent it if you were throwing round the PDA'S yourself man-whore ward"

"What have I told you about calling me that?"

"I don't give a shit Edward oh and by the way Jasper this is Bella, she's studying Literature and lived in Forks, Washington. Bella this is Jasper, studying history and is my gorgeous hunk of a man oh and that over there is my man-whore of a brother I was telling you about he's studying music". I looked over at the dark haired girl next to Alice...she was beautiful and what she was wearing omg I think I'm probably going to have to take a cold shower. She walked over to me and put her hand in my hand looked up at me with her deep brown eyes, eyes a person could get lost in.

"Hi" she said to me but I couldn't form a coherent sentence. Alice saw the look on my face turned to Bella and said "I told you so"

They started laughing even Jasper... I swear he can read my sisters mind they are always on the same page. All I was thinking about was Bella she look gorgeous and she just had this innocent look about her...Ok seriously I really can't use her she looks like she deserves more than a quick fuck and goodbye and Alice would probably have my nuts in a vice if I did anything like that anyways. Oh my god please tell me the Edward Cullen, Man-whore isn't falling for a girl, and a girl I don't even know at that...this is ridiculous...say something to her so you don't seem like a tool.

"Uhhh...hi...I'm Edward..."

"Yeah I gathered that already" she replied

Omg I look like such an idiot right now where the fuck have my balls gone? Better say something right now before she thinks you're like mentally handicapped. I wrapped my brain trying to think of something to say but I couldn't think of a damn thing all I could think about was what it would be like to kiss her, to touch her, to sleep with her...omg not good not good. This whole time Bella was standing there waiting for me to say something and I'm mentally undressing her god I'm such a perv, she deserves so much better than that. When I didn't respond she started looking a little concerned. Alice and Jasper were just laughing at the stunned look on my face. Fucking assholes can't help a brother out can you...go ahead and just laugh now but watch your back you will not enjoy when I get back at you for this. To make matters worse Emmett and Rosalie popped out from Emmett's room to see what the hell was so funny. Rose took one look at my face and said "What's the matter Eddie...cat got your tongue."

"No" Emmett replied "Bella's got him by the balls." He let loose laughing his fucking ass off. Bella was blushing Jasper and Alice were rolling all over the floor holding the stomachs like they were going to fall out pissing themselves. Fuck this I thought. I turned walked into my room and slammed the door. Fucking assholes have to make me look like a fucking idiot in front of a girl. An exceptionally beautiful one to. I'm such a chicken shit hiding in my room like a little girl, but I'm not facing that shit again. What douche bags. I kept listening for Bella to ask about my sanity but she never did all I heard was "Hey Bella this is Emmett by the way "

"Hey Bella"

"Hey Emmett can't breathe" I'm guessing he had given her one of his patented bear hugs. I swear one of these days he's going to kill someone doing that.

""Sorry about that. Come on guys let's get going I'm starving"

"Should we ask Edward if he still wants to join us" I heard Bella ask. Was that concern I could hear in her voice?

.

"Na let my pansy of a brother be... he'd probably just bring us down with his misery anyways." Fucking douche bag

"Ok then" I heard her answer back I could tell by the tone in her voice that she was still worried about me. Then I heard the door slam shut followed by silence. Thank fuck they are gone I don't think I could have handled being dragged out of my room by Jasper and Emmett, fucking asshats. I fell down onto my bed and grabbed my pillow holding it to my face and screaming obscenities into it cussing out my friend and my brother. They are definitely going to get some fucking payback for this shit and it's not going to be pretty.

AN – So this chapter is a bit longer...a little funnier. As always, Please review and if you don't like, send me some constructive criticism to help me along...this being my first fan fiction and all. I will try to update at least 2 times a week. Hopes you like it.

Love Sam