"Baby Faces"
Author's Note: Chapter FIVE! So far so good, but so much to go. btw this is all post Haley's death! Remember to review!
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CRIMINAL MINDS OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!
"Spencer you have no idea how hard it is to sleep with a night light every night!" Hotch continued to argue on the drive to the BAU.
"Aaron, please we've already discussed this. I can't sleep without one!" Spencer folded his arms in front of his chest growing agitated with his stubborn lover. They were surely starting off this leap in their relationship on the wrong foot.
"Spencer there is nothing to be afraid of! Your fear is totally irrational!"
"Is it? You never know what's lurking in the dark," Spencer blushed furiously.
"Spencer, there's nothing to fear. I am there every night holding you in the dark. Nothing can hurt you as long as I'm there." Without taking his eyes off the road, Hotch took the hand he was holding and kissed it lightly making the butterflies always tightly bundled in Spencer's stomach disperse. He was overcome with flattery and joy. He could not however, overcome this 'irrational' fear of his. As irrational as his fear seemed there was probable cause for it's existence. He detested the dark and what came with it.
Hotch was trying to keep his spirits lighthearted, when in all honesty he thought his relationship was moving too fast. The couple had been together for two and a half months and they were now living together in Hotch's home. It was nerve-wracking to have Spencer laying on the same side his beloved late wife had before him. It felt like a dreadful betrayal to a woman he still loved, that could not love him anymore. Reid was the first person he'd dated since his divorce, and something still felt wrong. Something in his gut still felt guilty and just wrong! He shook the feeling away, reconsidering the whole thing. Taking on a new perspective, it was nice to have a companion to hold. It was pleasant to have someone to sleep with after all this time. it was nice to go home to second opinions and ideas that aren't his own.
This petty little argument (if you could even call it that) would later be the key to all of Spencer's fears and doubts. Hotch would discover them all, thinking back on this argument as he held the shaking man in their bed. However this discovery would lie in wait as they blissfully stepped out of Hotch's car and into the parking lot. Beyond this morning wasn't important, now they were going to work.
Derek Morgan pulled into the parking lot simultaneously and stepping out observed the strange pair getting out of the same car. Reid had also spotted the other team mate and made a mental note. If he had gotten Hotch out the door a little later, maybe they could have held hands until they got into the building. Spencer knew Hotch wouldn't stand for the revelation of their relationship. Lately Spencer was desperately craving public displays of affection. He wanted to be able to hold his lover's hand, or cuddle with him on a park bench, without fearing getting caught by a co-worker. More than anything, he wanted to share his relationship with Derek Morgan, his best friend. However his fear of telling Morgan was more than Hotch's disapproval. It was about Morgan's attitude towards these things. Spencer had a feeling that Derek would be opposed to more than the violation of BAU protocol.
Silently the three headed into the building all at once and joined the rest of the team to discuss a new unsub. Pretty typical stuff they were working on. Five victims had been claimed as of now. Typical white male that felt emasculated, seeking power through his victims. The main interest of the meeting was the lack of attention Spencer was getting from his boss. Hotch was refusing Spencer any eye-contact, even when he threw in a couple comments about the unsub and his victimology. It was this blatant disregard for Spencer that everyone was noticing. The room was tense. Eyes were moving from Hotch to Reid rapid fire. Reid was flush with embarrassment and worry, while Hotch was cool and calm. He dismissed them for individual investigation.
On a coffee break, Derek, considered it his personal responsibility to confront Reid about everything he'd seen today. "So, when did you and Hotch start car-pooling?"
"When we started living together," Spencer blurted out preparing his coffee. Suddenly he realized what he confessed, but could not take it back.
"You're living together now? What brought this on?" Morgan cocked an eyebrow.
"Well, he needed some help around the house, and I couldn't stand the place I was staying at. His place is closer to work, so we worked something out. We're friends, why is this odd to you?" Spencer finally stopped stumbling on his words.
"Well, for one, he wouldn't even look at you today after you got out of the car. Did you guys get into an argument or something?"
"Yeah, about sleep," Spencer vaguely admitted.
"Reid have you been keeping that poor man awake?"
"I wish," Spencer mumbled under his breath.
"What?"
"I said, yeah. I can't get any sleep, and I've been making too much noise, moving from the kitchen and back."
"Look Reid he's already an insomniac. Just stay in your bed and read a book okay?" Morgan offered this solution. Such a shame he had no idea what he was talking about.
"Thanks I'll keep that in mind, I'll make sure to apologize to Hotch," Spencer smiled meekly taking a sip of his hyper-sugared coffee. He rolled his eyes as Morgan patted him on the back and walked back to his desk. Reid was still troubled by today's meeting. What had he done wrong? He thought they'd settled the score in the car? Why no loving gazes? Hotch wouldn't even dignify his suggestions with a response, and it was eating him up inside. Secrets! Secrets! Secrets! He was tired of the lies. He wanted to be with Hotch openly!
"Alright Spencer, we are going to sleep together without the nightlight!"
"I don't know if I'm ready baby," Spencer whined as he crawled under the covers. Hotch was standing threateningly at the light switch.
"We can do this together Spencer. Just trust me okay. I'll keep you safe," Hotch assured with a smile. He flipped the switch and darkness consumed the bedroom. Spencer shivered as he awaited his lover in their bed. He felt the covers shift.
"Aaron, is that you?" Spencer asked.
"Of course it's me! Who else would it be!" Hotch smirked grabbing Spencer from behind. Spencer squeaked in terror. "Calm down, it's just me okay? It's just me," Hotch whispered kissing Spencer's neck softly before cuddling into his shoulder. "Good night babe."
"Good night."
"Sweet dreams."
"Sweet dreams Aaron," Spencer reluctantly closed his eyes to drift to sleep. He was unaware it could be any more pitch black than the room itself. He winced in discomfort.
"Shh, shh, shh, shh," Hotch assured as he comfortingly kissed the nape of Spencer's neck. The younger man loosened up and shut his eyes once again. He felt lightweight and comfortable in his lover's arms. He drifted off into a dream. A seemingly, wonderful dream. This wasn't something that was going to last. The night wore on and Hotch was getting a pleasant sleep without the bright light in the corner beating on his eyelids. He wasn't stirred by the constant squirming Spencer was doing in his arms. The man beside me was not sleeping well at all.
Hotch jolted awake around 3 A.M. to the sound of his lover's screaming. "Aaron! Aaron! Help! Please don't let him kill me! Please Aaron!"
"Baby! Baby! It's okay!" Hotch assured trying to shake his lover awake. "Come on Spencer! It's not real! I'm right here!" Hotch shook his lover.
Spencer opened his eyes. "Aaron? Aaron! Where are you Aaron?" Spencer asked.
"Hang on let me turn on the light," Hotch said getting up.
"I'm sorry, I didn't tell you about waking up screaming from the nightmares."
Hotch flicked on the light and looked back at the bed. His lover was sitting up on the bed with long red scratches across his bare chest. Blood was pooling forth from some of the sharper variations in the scratches. "Spencer, you're not having nightmares, you're having night terrors." He climbed back onto the bed to hold his shivering lover in his arms.
"It varies. Sometimes I'll just have these episodes...Oh Aaron was afraid this would happen. I never wanted you to know!" Spencer started sobbing bringing his knees to his bloody chest.
"No, it's good that I know now. I can help you Spencer," Hotch assured.
"No, it's not. I'm sorry. I just...I need light. But I promised I would adjust to the dark for you. I know you can't help but sleep in pitch blackness..." Spencer shook his head.
"No Spencer. I was wrong." Hotch took his lovers face in his hands hoping to get his message in loud and clear. "I have to adjust to the light."
"Really?" Spencer was shocked with this notion as blood spilled in straight lines from the wounds.
"Yes, now let's get you cleaned up," Hotch smiled.