Chakotay stepped back in the turbolift to allow Seven to come onto the bridge first, she flashed him a quick smile and he easily returned it, before seeing Seven stiffen as she looked at the view screen. Worry prickled him as he looked over her shoulder, what he saw made him gasp and he had to lean on the nearest console for support. A second Janeway, her hair silver and clothed in an Admiral's uniform, gazed out of the view screen. The Captain was out of her chair, eyes wide. "Who are you?"
"I'm you Captain, don't you recognise me?"
"I…" Captain Janeway stuttered.
"Why don't you let me dock my shuttle and we'll talk." It was said more as an order than a request.
The Captain nodded mutely and the Admiral appeared satisfied, switching off her comm. system. "Let her aboard." The Captain ordered Harry.
"Captain, I don't think…" Chakotay intervened, his mind still reeling.
"She's coming aboard Chakotay!" snapped Janeway.
Seven looked at Chakotay in concern; he was taking this turn of events even worse than the Captain, who had just seen her future self. Chakotay caught her look and whispered urgently. "Do you think this has anything to do with Temporal Anomaly…"
"No." She replied in the same tone, "It seems she came in some sort of shuttle…she has come here with the express purpose to change the timeline."
That was just what Chakotay had feared, he obviously already had changed the timeline or else the Admiral would be dead. What had happened to make her so desperate? He remembered Captain Tuvok's warning, that the timeline could change for the worse instead of better. An icy shudder ran through him as he realised he could have been responsible for such changes.
The Admiral did not endeavour to enlighten him, even though he reasoned she must know of his own recent time travel. He had to listen to the crew's enraptured questions as he tied himself up in knots of anxiety. Apparently, this Janeway was from twenty six years into the future, 2403. She was Starfleet's most decorated Admiral and judging from her shuttle, technology would come a long way in the next three decades. He was worrying over nothing, obviously his changes had worked since Janeway hadn't died in 2379. She seemed obsessed by a Borg infested wormhole cluster, perhaps Kathryn was just being Kathryn and wanting to get them home that little bit faster, his mind immediately crushed this faint hope in his heart, why would Kathryn risk all their lives if the future she'd left behind was perfect? None of these questions were answered as the Admiral sequestered herself in the ready room with her younger self and he had to go back to work valiantly attempting to hide his fear from the crew.
Chakotay paced his room. The Captain had decided not to follow the Admiral's plan, everything would continue as before. A large part of him was relieved, he never wanted to even think about time travel again but at the same time he knew how he would have reacted if the Captain had not obeyed his foreknowledge so he had a strong suspicion the Admiral was not about to let things lie. "Computer, locate Admiral Janeway."
"Admiral Janeway is in Cargo Bay 2." No! She couldn't tell Seven anything, if he was going to die then so be it but for Seven to know would break her heart and estrange them forever. This thought drove him from his quarters and down to the cargo bay with unnatural speed. The doors opened at his command and he ran in to find the Admiral alone and visibly seething. "What are you doing here?" he asked, unable to keep the accusatory tone from his voice.
"I was talking to Seven about her future." She said coldly.
"What? You have no right to manipulate her like that…"
The Admiral glared at her former First Officer. "It's for her own good! Of course, she's too obsessed by her own guilt and too stubborn to take the feelings of others into account…You're stubborn too but you'll thank me!"
Her superior detached tone made him see red and he seized her arm. "No one has the right to control her! Who the hell do you think you are to tell her I'm going to die…"
The Admiral stared up at his wild face in surprise. "You're not the one who's going to die, Seven is."
Chakotay felt as if he'd been kicked, all the air rushing from his lungs in a sickening gasp. "No…no…that's impossible…"
"Anyone can die Chakotay, now will you reason with her?" asked the Admiral desperately.
"I…I…killed her…I made it worse…" he moaned horribly as his legs collapsed beneath him.
Memories began to crowd in the Admiral's brain, Chakotay ranting in the same way while cradling his dead wife…his suicidal guilt that seemed to come from nowhere, she hadn't understood it then, blaming it on hysterical grief but now she wondered if it was more than that.
"What…what about the children?" Chakotay finally managed to choke out, perhaps he had ended up in a similar situation to Seven and had been left to raise Luke and Isabel alone? The very thought of it made him wince but his need to know pushed back the fear.
The Admiral's eyes became clouded with grief and her voice became laced with it. "You...never had any children with Seven Chakotay…none that survived anyway…she was pregnant when she died…there was an attack on the ship and she was injured…the baby wasn't far enough along to be saved. She died in your arms…" She gulped to hold back the tears. "Help me fix it Chakotay, for the love of God!"
Chakotay's nails dug into his skin. "You think I'd play around with the timeline anymore after knowing that what I changed did more harm than good…"
"Nothing is set in stone Chakotay, nothing of what you or I have seen is certain…" Pleaded the Admiral.
Chakotay wrenched his head up, tears streaming down his face. "GET OUT! Just leave me alone!" he howled, his eyes at that moment almost insane with guilt and grief. The Admiral had seen this look on his face enough times in the future to know when to leave and she bolted from the room.
Chakotay barely registered her departure, curling up next to Seven's alcove and crying as he never had before. Was that all the future held for him, a life without Seven, without even Luke or Isabel to draw strength from? After a long time he felt as if his mind floated free above his crumpled body and he began to contemplate, was the Admiral right in saying nothing was set in stone? The two futures were different, unpredictable, he could die tomorrow and the future would change, the future was always changing. It was the present he had to live for, grasp every happy memory with Seven while he could no matter how long they had together. This moment of clarity cleared his mind of the grief and he stood up, knowing what he had to do.
When he entered Astrometrics he found Seven alone with her back to him, when he reached for her she instantly flinched and stepped as far away from him as she possibly could in the small room. "Seven, I know what she told you…"
Her head jerked back with a shudder, "Good…then you understand why we have to terminate our relations."
He grasped her hands and she choked back a sob. "I know why you think that but we'll just have to take the risk…"
Her shining tear filled eyes gazed at him in wide incredulity. "Take the risk? No, I can't…I won't be the cause of your grief…I never want to hurt you…"
Chakotay looked at her with love and sadness, she wasn't any different from her future self, putting him first despite her own feelings. "You never could hurt me my love, not really."
She began to sob in earnest now, no longer caring about self control. He held her but she remained stiff in his arms. "Seven, if I were to die tomorrow would you regret our relationship?"
She inhaled sharply in horror and retreated into logic, "The Admiral would've…"
"The future has changed. The Admiral doesn't know anything. Answer my question."
"No…I could never regret you…"
He stroked her face, "That's what I'm saying, we could only have today, we could have the next fifty years, the only thing that matters is how we're feeling right now."
As his argument filtered into her heart and brain, she sagged against him, burying her face in his shoulder. "I love you right now…"
He kissed her gently and held her as close as he possibly could. "I love you right now too."
A/n: I'm surprised none of you guessed about Admiral Janeway, please review and tell me what you think! I'll update soon, there's still a bit more to go.